It has been an interesting year of darkness to say the least. <—-truly an understatement in many ways.
A couple weeks ago I traveled to Colorado to visit some friends. It happened to be Halloween weekend and a friend of a friend was having a “Dia De Los Muertos” (Day of the Dead) housewarming party.
Traveling with a carry-on bag, I was limited to what I could pack considering I was there a three day weekend and needed to pack light. A skeleton onsie it is!!! …and it was perfect for a Day of the Dead party. 
As I look back on previous Halloween celebrations, I have a very clear pattern of being light and happy in my costume choices, many different versions of hippies, nerd costumes or animals…all in the light.
The only addition to my costume I needed once I got there was makeup. I had googled “skeleton makeup” pictures and tried to follow along. It turned out pretty good if I don’t say so myself.
Of course 5’10” in a skeleton onsie, adding heels and hair I was at least 6’3″ and a bit of a sight!
The party was fun and everyone had put a lot of effort into their costumes which just raised the energy! I was surprised when a roller-derby couple rolled in off the sidewalks in roller skates – off those particular sidewalks THAT WAS COMMITMENT!!!
We had great food, a bit to drink and took a lot of pictures.
It was interesting to feel like me but look so, so different in the mirror and so I posted some pictures on social media, and many others thought the same.
Some comments on the posts and many more messages behind the scenes were of the tone “Wow! I have never seen you look like that before!” ‘I’ve never seen that side of you!”
One of the things that has happened is our culture has taught us that to have a good life, things always need to be good. We need to find the light in all situations and to “always look for the silver lining”.
All of this is great and wonderful but life is both; moments of lightness balanced by moments of darkness. That is just how it goes. One of the biggest challenges we face today is that life has become very comfortable…until it became very uncomfortable about 20 months ago.
When we look out at the lives of the people we are connected with over social media, we get the “highlight reel”. Of course we do! Why would anyone put their moments of darkness on social media? We wouldn’t. But the game of comparison we all play with those connections can lead us to stop believing in ourselves if our life doesn’t look like that.
A super near and dear friend used to do a weekly Facebook Live share called “Best Day Ever”. The irony of it was that she would sit with a cup of tea with the phrase “Best Day Ever” written on it. She was also in her beautiful office in a wonderful area of the country. BUT she never preached “Brightest Day Ever” or “Good Vibes Only” or “Stay in the Light”. She would share how LIFE IS BALANCE. It is the light and the dark, the good and the bad, the pretty and the ugly…and our expectations that it should be any other way is what creates the suffering. Truly the Best Day Ever is when we can accept and embrace all of it.
It is an ebb and flow, an expansion followed by a contraction, highs and lows. 
So let’s stop pretending to be any other way…and I am also talking to myself here.
When I post up a simple picture of me dressed as a skeleton, I realize even how polarizing of an imagine I have put out as well!
We are both light and dark, life is filled with moments of lightness and moments of darkness, and it is ok. It is supposed to be that way.
When we really look around, and especially in the seemingly crazy world we find ourselves in right now, it feels like a whole lot of darkness. It feels polarized, divided, disorganized, unpredictable, inconsistent and actually scary at times.
Is it because we were so comfortable for so long? Is it because we had it so good for so long? Has there been too much flow and not enough ebb?
Gosh it is so incredibly hard to say and absolutely no way to predict exactly what is ahead for all of us.
I have to share a little life hack that may or may not be helpful for you, but it helps me tremendously:
Breathe into the resistance.
“What does that even mean, Peabody? It is not that simple.”
I agree. Sort of.
I would say that it is not EASY but it can be SIMPLE.
When you feel your insides bind up, alarms go off and you go into high alert, stop and take a moment to see if you can breathe into the resistance you are putting up to what is in front of you.
Then realize that you have survived 100% of all the bad days so far, you will get through this too. There is a great quote that goes something like “If this is not going to matter 5 years from now, do not give it even 5 minutes now”.
Life is always going to be both, light and dark, that is how the Universe stays in balance. I was a little taken aback by the response to this simple Halloween costume but the darkness that I appeared to embody that day is something that I will be looking closer at in my own life.
Are you noticing lightness and darkness in your life? If you get a chance, share with me what you do when you see that resistance come up for you. Let’s make the most of this life…we only get one chance.
