January 2018 – We Only Get One Chance

UNKNOWN

Today I found the unknown staring me in the face.

The unknown is intimidating, very, very intimidating.

As most of you read in my last blog post, I GOT ENGAGED!!!! I am absolutely OVER THE MOON EXCITED, blessed and honored that this man has asked me to be his wife.

…and I have a GORGEOUS RING!!!

Newly engaged, it is hard to turn my eyes away from the ring. I had the chance to pick it out in the beginning of December but to actually wear it is a whole new experience.

As many of you know, I was married at 19 for 7 years. At one point someone said to me “Oh, you have had your ‘starter marriage’.” “STARTER MARRIAGE”??????? Um, sure??? I am not a fan of that concept, I understand the idea of a “starter home” by not a “starter marriage”.

Since then I have dated for 14 years and had some long term relationships, however even during all that time, the voice in my head would chime in and say “How do people actually get to the place of committing to marriage anyway?” I couldn’t make sense of it at the time. Now In retrospect, it is simple to see that internal voice was just making sure I would eventually find the right one and I get it now.

I look down at this ring and it says “commitment” to me in the most beautiful way. But staring right back at me is this huge UNKNOWN.

There are so many unknowns…things that have been on my radar but also things that I/we haven’t thought through completely.

It is scary to look down and know that I have literally committed to the unknown with Mike. The longer I linger in thoughts of the unknown, the more nauseated I get. It’s pure worry and I am sure there may be some place in your life that you can relate to that feeling.

When I snap out of that I think to myself “This unknown is WITH MIKE, my Mike.”

“We’ll figure it out” has rolled off our tongues so much to each other throughout our courtship. It is accompanied by this incredible I’ve-got-your-back energy, confidence, respect and honor and is followed by actually figuring things out together.

It is the most beautiful thing I have ever been involved in, the most innocent and precious connection.

We have not had a simple and easy road so far. We have been together for just over nine months but we have already scaled some walls and traversed some valleys that stood in our way. Something that is working in our favor is our age. I think when I was involved in my marriage at such an early age, as was Mike was as well, it is difficult to know who you are and what you want life to really look like. Also there is so much growth and evolution that happens through the 20s, it is simple to get set up in relationship patterns that will not go the distance.

We have both been there and have learned a lot along the way. The lessons have been interesting and some so painful it was often difficult to see any light. Neither of us fantasize about how easy marriage will be, but we do remain hopeful that things can remain simple.

What I have learned through 14 years of dating is that core values are the most important key to finding a partner. Deep core values NEED to line up. I have dated enough to know a little bit about connection and what questions to ask right from the start. When I was younger, it was difficult to ask the heavy hitting questions and that landed me in relationships that couldn’t endure he long haul.

So Mike and I had a lot of hard discussions right up front and vetted out some of the serious topics to be sure we lined up. Of course there will always be that work to do.

The other thing that has really built our foundation we bring up absolutely anything and everything that is on our minds, no matter what it is. Because of this we have been able to get to the roots of our personal challenges and have the hard talks about life and what we are looking for.

He is my safe place, my home and has been from the very beginning.

Together we will walk hand in hand into the unknown. From the outside this may look and sound like a match made in heaven with all rainbows and butterflies and unicorns. There are many obstacles, I will reveal more as time goes by, big obstacles that we have overcome already and some yet to be uncovered.

Jumping off the cliff into the unknown seems do-able with Mike. Father Time will be the great determiner and until then I will embrace the work, lean into the discomfort, have faith and put one foot in front of the other.

As I am writing this, I am curious to know more about you. I am curious if you have found yourself staring into the face of the unknown as well as maybe a hint or two about how you stepped in anyway. How did you do that? What did you bank on? Where was your courage sourced from? I think we can learn a lot from each other’s experiences. Leave your comments for me…

50 YEARS

When Mike and I first started to spend time together, we talked about what life would maybe look like in the future. He mentioned maybe like 40 years from now? I told him that is ABSOLUTE BS to bow out of here 40 years from now and that I was requiring 50 years!!

We would stay up really late at night and recall the day that just passed and the time spent together. We would ask each other 50 year questions that sounded like this…

“Do you think you could handle me rubbing your back like this for 50 years?”

“Do you think you can keep rubbing my back for 50 years?”

“If we laughed like we did today, do you think we could make that kind of laughter last for 50 years?”

“Will you always help me with my leg, even if I have to wear this stupid boot for 50 years?”

“Will you be this kind to me for 50 years?”

“Do you think it is possible to maintain this sweet, sincere and innocent connection we have for 50 years?”

“Will you want to talk to me and share stories for 50 years?”

“Will you be able to manage me and the way I am inside of the world for 50 years?”

“Can you handle being in tight and close connection with my family for 50 years?”

“Will you want to go on adventures and make that last for 50 years?”

“Will you always kiss and hug me like you do right now? Do you think that can last for 50 years?”

“Will you be able to laugh at my jokes for 50 years?”

“Will you stay this supportive in and around my life for 50 years?”

“Do you think you can manage me helping in your life for 50 years?”

The 50 years questions go on and on and on, even to this day. It is silly things and serious things and everything in between.

But to each and every one of those questions and so many more we both answer “YES!!!!!”

Last night, at my family’s old orchard setting turned Peabody Ice Climbing central, in front of 150 people, many family members and apparently they were all in on it unbeknownst to me, he stole the microphone he asked me to marry him.

“YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” was my answer.

…and so the story begins.

I am in tears and at a complete loss of words on how to really share this story at this point and all that has gone on since Mike and I met. I have rarely mentioned a man during any of my writings over the years because it just wasn’t quite right.

This is different.

This is right.

Here’s to 50 years!!!

I’VE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU

I’ve been meaning to tell you Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Wait!!! It is past the middle of January, isn’t it too late to say that? Yes, you are probably right however I do hope your New Year is off to a great start!!!

I am writing to let you know that I spent all the money I was going to use to send out holiday greeting cards. I went to order them but when I ran the numbers of how many thousands of cards we would have to send out here at Cafe of LIFE Chiropractic as well as my personal life and how many hours it would take to personalize all of that, I decided to do something different.

Over the past 13 years, Cafe of LIFE Chiropractic has grown and served so many people in and around this area that our address list consists of thousands of people. Back in the early days when the Cafe was in its infancy, it was pretty simple to order 500 cards and take the time to sign them all, address the envelopes and send them out.

After a few years, and our office filled up, I realized how much time that was taking from my staff and myself as well as just how much money was spent to make all that happen.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love receiving Christmas cards and and holiday greetings and love to see how your families are growing. THANK YOU SO MUCH for including us in your Christmas card list! In fact, we have kept all of those beautiful cards with your gorgeous families here at the office and have wallpapered the back side of a door here at

the Cafe. Want to see it? —>>>

I decided about 5 years ago, since it was a substantial amount of money to make that all happen and I also know that there are many people going without food in our area, more than we even know, I would donate all that money to the Food Bank of Eastern Michigan.

The Food Bank can take $1 and get six meals out of it. I don’t know what kind of food they can get their hands on but it has to be better than no food at all, especially during this time of year.

If one single dollar provides SIX MEALS to those in need, with the money we donated we provided THOUSANDS OF MEALS. That makes us feel good about what happened to your Christmas greetings this year and for the past few years…someone is eating your Christmas card.

I realize that sending Christmas cards and greetings is an important part of the year to many people. In fact, I am certain in the coming years I will get back to sending personal holiday cards again with a regular update as life progresses. In the meantime, I will be supporting places that support our community and make the world a better place. I think feeding people instead of sending cards was a great choice for us as I know our money was spread far and wide.

I trust the year is off to a great start and I’ve been meaning to tell you all that I am thinking about you, Merry Christmas and Happy 2018!! May this be your best year yet!!! …and something to think about for the future, maybe you will send some money to them as well knowing how much need there is and how far your dollar can go.

MY TRIBE

As many of you know, I usually spend the holidays with my tribe.

This tribe consists of long time friends that I met during chiropractic college (and a couple since). Many of them have traveled most years together, other parts of my tribe were not able to go and a few have yet to join us. Whoever shows up for the holiday trip is always the perfect blend.

We always meet somewhere warm and spend a week together. The week is filled with laughter and silliness and play…but also some serious talks about the past year and projection and goal-setting for the year ahead.

The greatest thing about my tribe is we have known each other for so many years and have been out in the field doing similar work for that long that we see the world through the same lens and they all get me.

Speaking of being out in the field, we have all been so career-focused that there haven’t been any children on this regular holiday tribe trip until this year.

One couple has grown children and they were with us but we also have beautiful 6 month old twins in the tribe now.

Taking twins across the boarder and to the beach is no easy task and prior discussions sounded a little like this “Just get them there and then there will be 11 adults to 2 babies and we will help all week long.” I am so glad they did.

Much of the tribe lives in close proximity to each other in Denver and get to spend a little more regular time together however being this far away, I don’t get that kind of regular time with any of them.

Although the babies added a lot to the dynamics of the group, it was delightful as we all learn to transition into the “with children” phase of our lives.

We shared great conversation over meals, while sitting around the pools and during walks on the beach. These are the people that light my flame and keep it stoked. We have a text message thread that goes on and on daily for years however having true face to face time fills my soul.

I do not have a tribe like that in Fenton. By the end of the week together, I feel so recharged and ready to take on the New Year. I always head back home rejuvenated but I am also a little sad when I land in Detroit and drive home knowing just how far away they all are. I miss them terribly and in a small way I dread coming home. I have a great life here but have always felt a little lonely following a week with my tribe.

This time was a little different. My boyfriend Mike was able to make it down for the week and of course we traveled home together. He is my ideal match I feel fortunate that he blends so well into my group of friends. Our connection fills my life so full on a daily basis and has ever since the day we met 9 months ago.

Chiropractor Fenton Michigan - My Tribe - Dr Erica Peabody

So this time around, instead of having to head home alone and readjust to Fenton and life apart from my tribe, I got to come home with him and together have put some action steps in place towards our goals we set for this year already!!

Although I have lived in pure gratitude for my incredible life for a long time now, I have always said that “Life is sweeter when shared.” I am finding so much truth to that with a connection like this.

My tribe is part of my lifeline. Our text message thread has continued on just as silly with bouts of seriousness as before. I laugh all day long with these people that are thousands of miles away and am grateful for technology helping us easily stay connected. I love them all so much and miss the babies and am sad I don’t get to watch them grow up in person.

To have this incredible man alongside me as all the days progress wins over all of that. He is my tribe, but more than that, he is my safe space, my recharging station and my true home. I tell him daily how grateful I am he is in my life but once more here (because he always reads) Thanks Babe. 🙂