February 2015 – We Only Get One Chance

I AM NOT CRAZY

I know what you are thinking, “what is she up to now?!?!” I have to write this post and just globally announce that I AM NOT CRAZY!!!!

I am selling my house. Yes, I have been so grateful and blessed to call a cozy place on a beautiful lake south of town “home” for the past 3.5 years. SO. VERY. VERY. VERY. GRATEFUL.

As I was headed out the door for a run 3.5 years ago, my mom called me to ask if I would ever consider living on the lake (they live on the other side of said lake). The very first thing that came out of my mouth is “that would be great if I had somebody to do that with.”

I pondered that thought for my entire run and it became very apparent that very thought was an incredibly limited belief about myself and my situation. I called her right back and said “YES!!!”…and the rest is history. Fenton Chiropractor Lake 2

So fast forward 3.5 years later, with a for sale sign out in front of my house, and everyone is calling me CRAZY!!! “You have got to be CRAZY to move off the lake!” “Are you nuts, you live in a beautiful home!” “I heard a rumor your home is for sale, are you out of your mind?”

All of you know that owning a home is a lot of work. Adding the word “lake” in front of that word “home”, adds a lot more work on top of that. I am not one to shy away from work and I have a lot of maintenance things hired out to keep my life simpler.

My biggest challenge is that everything on the lake weights 60-80lbs or more and there are so many routine things that I cannot do at all because things are so CRAZY heavy. I am just one single gal and I truly have to call people over to help me on so many occasions.

Everyone will say “Oh, but that is simple for you…you have 3 brothers to help you with all that stuff.” Well there is some truth to that and they step up every single time they can, however, they have their own lives and families and it is tough sometimes to coordinate schedules to make things happen.

I absolutely love the lake I am on and I practically grew up here though we didn’t have a house right on the water. However, like I mentioned above, my Mom and step-dad are on the other side of the lake and in the summer, my brothers and their families hang out there almost every weekend. Therefore, I am rarely at my house at all. I would much prefer being with everyone else and playing with the kids as they learn about their world, about the water and how to swim. We spend hours and hours chatting, playing, listening to music and the squeals of the children, and making and sharing food together. That is what I want to spend my time doing and the greatest part of this is that I do not have to give any of that up. My family will live in the house they are in for many, many, many more years to come.

I have a beautiful pontoon boat that I keep at my house. It is a running joke on the lake, and some think I AM CRAZY that it never leaves my dock. I took it out a total of 3 times last summer and 4 the summer before that. If my family is out on my parents boat, why would I undo my boat and be separated from them? Trust me, I AM NOT CRAZY!

I have a family home and I do not have a family. I AM NOT CRAZY for making this decision, I am just one single gal and that is too much house for me anymore.

It is true that I will miss my view and my garage. I am down-sizing and moving into town really close to my practice. I AM NOT CRAZY, I have plans to eventually live on another lake down the road sometime. For now, this is the next right move for me. Fenton Chiropractor Lake

It seems backwards and so strange when I tell others of this move. I always feel like I have to justify the fact that I AM NOT CRAZY and then I go into my long list of reasons that I am choosing what I am.

I will absolutely miss this house. If you know me at all, you know I have put some blood, sweat and tears into creating a home here. Homes that are loved show you they are loved, that is apparent to anyone who walks in my front door.

I remember moving out of my last chiropractic office location and into the location where the Cafe of LIFE Chiropractic lives today. When I left that location, it had been a chiropractic office spot for over 50 years. I didn’t buy the office from someone, it just so happened they were moving their practice out when I was moving my practice in. When the final day came in that space, it was incredibly emotional for me. It just so happened to be the spot my brothers and I would go to see our chiropractor while growing up. As a child I ran through those halls I was now serving in. I also knew that we would be able to offer such a superior experience with so much more space and a better fit in our new building and that is exactly what has happened.

This feels a lot like that move. It will probably be even more emotional because it has been a sanctuary for me, a refuge at the end of my day and a nest to settle into at night.

In retrospect, maybe it would have been great if I had somebody to live in this lake house with Maybe that would have made it simpler and easier, or at least I could have had built-in help for carrying heavy things. (On a side note, I would allow all of you to call me CRAZY if I married someone just so I would have help carrying things). But I also know and fully trust that it is the next right move for me and it is going to lighten the load, free up my time and allow life to be so much fuller and richer in my new spot, right in town, right by my practice. That will become my sanctuary, refuge and nest to settle into at night.

Ultimately I did choose to live here and though the seed was planted by someone else, I let it grow and become my current reality, which truly is beautiful and I am so blessed.

I also have found that when life gets a little uncomfortable, that is when the magic really happens.

Yes, I am in tears, this is incredibly uncomfortable. It is so much simpler to stay in a place than to move It is so much more comfortable to not make waves and shake up my life and have to pack everything up and unpack a home of boxes on the other end. But I hope you can hear in my words that I am stunted here in this most beautiful place I call home right now and it would serve me better to let go and move forward. It is also well thought-out and I rest peaceful knowing that, though it looks like a strange move from the outside, I AM NOT CRAZY!!!! Rather, I am just doing my best to live my fullest life possible and I HOPE YOU ARE TOO!!!! …and as a side note, there is a really great, very loved home for sale on Runyan Lake if you are in the market.

THE TIME WE HAVE

This short clip is talking about the time we have and is represented in jellybeans. It is a brilliant picture representation of our life.

Watch until the end…profound, profound message about what if today was the only day, what would you do?

Let me know what you think about the time we have, the time I have, the time you have. It is all so very short. I have been attending an online course and realizing actions steps need to be taken TODAY!!! Get out there and make it the kind of day you want! The kind of life you want!!! We only get one chance…

THE MOTH

“I will be on that stage someday” I said to my friend, Ameena, when as we were leaving The Circus Bar in Ann Arbor after “The Moth” StorySlam live event for the first time in early 2014. Ameena sent out a mass Facebook message earlier that day to my Book Club to see if anyone wanted to attend a “story-telling” event in Ann Arbor with her. I had been in the process of studying “The Art of Storytelling” for the past couple years and when I saw it was a live storytelling event, I jumped on the chance to attend.

I do my best to reply “yes” to any invite (within reason) that is thrown my way. I enjoy opening my eyes and mind to new things and ideas, and I tend to get involved in rich, rewarding experiences that start by simply replying “yes”.

Some of you may know of, or already listen to “The Moth”, but let me set the scene.
The Ann Arbor venue holds just over 300 people and all walks of life attend these events. The night consists of 10 volunteer storytellers from the audience. The stories need to be 5 minutes long, true, based on the theme set for the evening, and notes are not allowed. There are 3 sets of judges that are chosen from the audience and there is a Chiropractor Fenton Michigan The Moth 2 “winner” that advances on to a larger venue and then on to the “Moth Ball“, a huge event in New York City. While people are telling stories, a warning whistle blows at 5 minutes. Once 6 minutes has passed, another longer whistle blows and points can be deducted due to time. There is an awesome host or hostess that MC’s the evening and weaves their own stories in and around the storytellers as well as sharing “micro-stories” that the audience members have written out.
Throughout the evening, the stories are being recorded; both video recorded as well as audio and “The Moth” shares these stories on NPR, Michigan Public Radio and their podcast that is broadcasted everywhere.

The event happens monthly and I only missed a couple in the past year. I have also been listening to the podcast regularly and look forward to every new episode. Humans are so interesting and everyone has a story to tell. Because I have been on the hunt for rich, rewarding experiences in my life, I have some really cool, fun, awesome and interesting stories, a few of them brewing for the opportunity to match up with a theme at one of these events.

The StorySlam in December happened just before the holidays and while I was in Ann Arbor that night, it came to my attention that the theme for January would be “cold”. PERFECT!!! One of my stories finally matches up!!! That night I committed to getting myself up on that stage in January.

So I began to rehearse my story. I rehearsed it over and over and over, probably about 30 times to my empty house over the month. There was not a lot of feedback when I performed my story to my empty couches, but it allowed me the chance to get details figured out and hone in my words.
The event was on a Tuesday and was drawing near. As the days ticked by, I became more and more nervous. I do well in front of crowds once I get up there, but the time leading up to it can be absolutely overwhelming with nausea from nerves.

Monday that week, I am going through my regular day at Cafe of LIFE Chiropractic and when I would have a moment to think about getting on stage the next day, I would make myself sick. Monday night I could hardly sleep. Tuesday I woke up a little tired and my day was busy as usual. It didn’t help that these nervous feelings were taking over my body. I was getting myself so worked up about it I reached out to a friend. His reply, “If you get there tonight and you feel like doing it, then do it. If not, then who cares!”

Right.

I realized in that moment that it was my perfectionist nature that was creating the stress and if I just let it go and decided to be my imperfect self, I could settle some nerves and step into a powerful place of vulnerability.
I also knew I didn’t have a choice in the matter that evening…this was my evening to make it happen and to live more fully, I just couldn’t let this chance pass me by.
I practiced my story 4 more times on my ride down to Ann Arbor. I walked into the place, signed the rights away on my story and took my seat. A friend had gotten food for me and a little liquid courage which always helps.
The stories started and as they would randomly draw names from the bag, the nerves were so overwhelming, I didn’t know if I was going to implode or explode and decided the only possible way to make it through would be to use my breath to calm me down. I also put a piece of gum in my mouth just so I could stimulate my parasympathetic, relaxation response.

After the first 2 storytellers went, my name was called. I threw the gum out of my mouth, may or may not have said a swear word and up I went.

“YOLO is a trending term. Everyone has been using the concept of “You Only Live Once” that it has been reduced down to these 4 letters. It was 1994, I was 17 years old and I was in love…”

I knew my story was a crowd-pleaser and I knew they would get a kick out of it. I was surprised it was actually easier to tell the story onstage than at home. When I practiced on my own, I didn’t have the response of 300+ people laughing and cheering the story on. Onstage, I could feel all that presence and was also able to remain calm and mindful enough to make my words clear, rhythmical and tell a really good story.

I had a friend record it for me and was able to watch myself on stage and I am proud of what I did.
I didn’t win “The Moth” StorySlam that night but it was a huge win in my life. It was something I wanted to do for over a year and decided to bust through any barriers, physical and mental, and make it happen.

Through the years, I have decided I am not going to be sitting on the sidelines of life and letting experiences pass me by. I often get private messages on Facebook and through email asking me “do you have a terminal diagnosis? Are you dying or why are you making all this stuff happen? What is driving you? What is your motivation?” It is simple…we only live once and my plan is to squeeze as much juice out of my days, weeks, months and years as I possibly can.

That Tuesday night is only the beginning of my time onstage at “The Moth”. I am not sure it will be easier the next time I do it. What I do know is that I did it, I went to battle with the perfectionist that lives inside of me and won, I found some strength sharing my story standing in vulnerability, I survived and made it out the other side more fully alive, That is what life is all about.