I have uncovered an intense addiction I had no idea about.
Ten months ago, I began a new and different journey with my health. Many of the “healthy” things I was doing, especially where my diet was concerned, weren’t the most complete choices I could be making. Unbeknownst to me, I was chronically depleting my body of a few key nutrients that eventually led to disfunction of certain organ systems. Good news, it was all fixable and 70% of that has been taken care of by diet change and a tailored plan of supplementation.
There still remains a few nagging small concerns and 2 of them fall on the “autoimmune” spectrum.
I have been working closely with a nutritionist on this path and have come to the conclusion that going “gluten-free” was a necessity and so 10 weeks ago, I began my gluten-free journey.
I knew it was going to be a little challenging, however I have succeeded in completing harder tasks in my life, or at least that is what I thought when I got started.
Living in a small town is a challenge in and of itself due to the simple fact that there aren’t many resources. Fortunately for Fenton, there are 2 really great health food stores right in town and one of them tailors their entire store to the gluten-free popluation.
Day 1 of my new life was simple. I was highly aware of the shift I was making and so there was a lot on my mind, lets just say I was obsessing about food.
Day 2 started and ended pretty easily and the change appeared to be progressing smoothly.
Day 3…not so much. It turns out that I fall into a category of people that are “addicted” to gluten. When I sat back and watched what was coming up for me as well as discussions with my nutritionist, I became keenly aware that about every 3 days, I need a “gluten fix”. I needed something to spike my sugars and give me that endorphin kick.
So I pressed on and for the next 4-5 days, it was an hour by hour choice to not eat anything containing gluten. Of course, because I was so focused on getting over the hump with this process, all I could think about was eating gluten. As the days ticked by, I watched as my body’s cravings decreased little by little.
Three weeks into this process, a mourning phase set in. I remember driving home from the gym and passing by Uncle Ray’s Dairyland and becoming overwhelmingly sad because I was never going to be able to eat cookie dough ice cream ever again in my life. Do you know how much cookie dough ice cream I have eaten in the past decade? Maybe one serving. It is not something that I have on a regular basis, however in that moment, that was really sad to me.
Over the next couple weeks I came to terms with WHAT I EAT and WHAT I DO NO’T EAT and it is as simple as that. I stay strict and do not allow for little slip-ups. With gluten, and especially when dealing with gluten addiction, it is not something you can have “here and there” or “once in a while”. For me, I have to remain clean and clear of it altogether.
Today it has officially been 10 full weeks. When I first started, I thought it would be a bit challenging. In retrospect, I have to say it has been one of the hardest things I have done, but now that I am here on the other side, I am happy, healthier and will keep my life free and clear of gluten.
I have never dealt with an addiction before in my life and though this is to a mildly noxious substance, I have a bit more compassion to those who deal with addiction of any sort on a daily basis. It seems as I go through life, I am presented with lessons that do exactly that, build more compassion. I also believe that being compassionate is one of the keys to living a happy, healthy and well-rounded life…or at least I hope so. Thank you for this lesson, Universe!!
