“HELLO! HELLO! HELLO!”

“HELLO!  HELLO!  HELLO!” is such a familiar greeting in my childhood.  “Mom, why does grandma say ‘Hello’ three times when we walk in?” my 7 year old self would ask as we walked into my grandmother’s home who lived just one mile down the street from where I grew up.

I just heard that familiar greeting as I am sitting in the living room at my grandmother’s home in her golf oasis in Florida as a few of her friends arrive for a visit.  I have been here all weekend with some other family members as my grandmother moves nearer and nearer to THE final destination.  Yes, she is dying.  Not today.  Not tomorrow.  Not this week.  Probably not next week or the week after.  Within a month or two she will leave this earthly plane but in the meantime she is alive and living the best that she can and we are here to experience some of that.

I feel fortunate to be privy to some of the stories that are shared in such an intimate setting.  I always knew my grandmother was strong, powerful, full of life and opinionated.  However, as I sit and listen the stories this weekend (and of course stories I have heard over the years) she is also a real person with real life experiences, has had many ups and downs, has shed a lot of tears, has found love and happiness and has the most contagious, roaring laugh on the planet.

My Mom is here, a few aunts and uncles, with other neighborhood friends of my grandparent’s stopping by during the days.  Grandma is spending most of the day relaxing, reminiscing and resting.  We have done a lot of sitting and talking, literally hours of sitting and talking.  We have all shed tears, shared stories, asked questions and done a ton of laughing.  In fact, the first morning I woke up here, I thought to myself how great it is to be awakened from sleep by roaring family laughter, especially considering these circumstances.

During this time, we have drawn out the family tree.  My grandmother birthed 10 children.  My grandfather, who isn’t my grandfather by blood but has been “Grandpa” to me for close to 30 years, has 7 children of his own.  There are layers of grandchildren and great grandchildren and the total count of immediate family comes to 96 people total.  WOW!!!  Isn’t that an absolute monstrosity of a family!!!

“It’s a myth that a big family is always happy.  We have our share of tears, but there is a network support system that always goes into gear in time of need.  My children were the reason I got up in the morning” a direct quote from my grandmother back in 1981 when she was voted “Mother of the Year” by the local Fenton newspaper at the time.

That “network support system” has always been a central idea to how our family was run and I see it in my generation, especially when it comes to my own siblings and nearest and dearest.  That theme is a powerful part of what my life was built around especially considering my dad was one of his own natural support network of 9 children.

There is nothing like family, absolutely nothing that can replace these blood connections.  When family gets to these numbers, there are good eggs and bad eggs, however we are all connected and always will be connected in a way that runs strong and deep behind the scenes…and largely due to the ideas of the amazing matriarch that started this show.

My grandmother is a legend and one of my heroes.  I know she will never truly grasp in this lifetime the extent of her extraordinary life and contribution to this world.  She will never realize what an amazing person she is, her beauty, her strength and how much good she contributed while she is here.  But her faith is strong and I know she will figure that out as soon as she sheds her current failing body.

When she leaves this earthly plane, she will travel effortlessly to wherever she believes Heaven is and I know God will know when she arrives because he will hear her roaring laughter and her infamous “HELLO! HELLO!  HELLO!”.  May peace be with you in your process of transitioning, Grandma, and thanks in advance for watching over all 95 of us from the other side.

THE FIRST OF 19

Over the past week, my family and I have been mourning the loss of my aunt.  Have I told you that my Mom is one of ten kids and my Dad is one of nine?  So to say I come from a HUGE family is a slight understatement.  My Aunt Lisa was the youngest of my Mom’s siblings and she is also the very youngest of all 19 of them.  She died of a heart attack and it was shock to the entire family and everyone in her life at a mere 50 years of age. 

Being from such a large family, when tragic things happen, everyone pulls together.  We spent 4 full days together talking about the incident, her life, her contributions and where the family will go from here.  The conversations were sprinkled with bouts of crying and fits of laughter.  We are not short of comedians in our family and the mixture of the humor and the sadness does an interesting thing to the physiology and helps things to process.  I am sure you have found yourself in an intense moment that was interrupted by a shift created from laughter. 

I learned a lot from sitting around and listening to the stories that were shared.  Two important lessons have surfaced from it all that I wanted to share with you. 

LESSON #1 :  SHOW UP!  My Aunt Gail, one of Lisa’s sisters said one of the things that came to mind when she thought about Lisa was that “She showed up.”  It is so true…whenever there was something going on, or someone needed something, Lisa showed up.  She showed up for family functions and parties.  She showed up for her husband and 3 children.  She showed up for her own friends and friends of her children.  She showed up for the family.  She showed up at work and for her co-workers.  She showed up.  This concept makes me look at my life and ask the question…”Am I showing up?”  And furthermore, “How am I showing up?”  and “Am I giving it 100%?”

LESSON #2:  PLAY FULL OUT!   If life was a game, Aunt Lisa played full out.  She always had a good time.  She celebrated a lot and was usually in the middle of any conversation that was happening.  If she didn’t start the conversation but wanted to be in it…you would her her raspy voice say, slightly under her breath, “What are you guys talking about?”.  If she was around in the room, you probably could hear her laugh.  Somewhere in the Callard lineage there is a gene for loud laughter, and she expressed that gene strongly.  After the funeral on Monday, I heard someone say, “You know, she was only 50 when she passed, however she lived more in those 50 years than others do who live into their 80s or 90s.”  What a great awareness and awesome perspective to have on what seemed to be a life cut short. 

My first real memories of Aunt Lisa were when I would babysit for her children.  At the time, she happened to be living in the same subdivision where I currently live and though the house is no longer there, I have vivid memories of being there a lot.  Over the past few months I have spent quite a bit of time running the roads around my house, passing that location twice per run and of course, like I do a lot, thinking about life. 

With the sudden passing of Lisa last week, and her funeral just a couple days ago, along with my regular morning runs and thoughts about life, that particular location has new meaning to me.  I will forever hold it as a place during my runs where I turn inside and remember to SHOW UP everyday and in every way in my life and PLAY FULL OUT!  What better way to start the day than with reminders like that.  I haven’t dealt with much death up to this point in my life, and am of course dreading the idea of the other 18 passing, however there are always lessons to learn about LIFE from both living and dying…and for that, I am grateful.  Thank you Aunt Lisa for those very important lessons and may you rest peacefully.

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