There is a feeling…an “out over a cliff” feeling. It is uncomfortable and exhilarating all at the same time. It is a really unfamiliar place for me to be in because I usually am not one that “jumps off a cliff” so to speak. I am more of a “let me figure out my footing before I take a step” kind of a person. Although when I need to move on something…you will not find me dragging my feet. I move forward when necessary no matter what it feels like to do so and that uncomfortable feeling soon becomes the new normal.
I love that about life. We get stopped and stay steady in our comfort zone and something or another will inspire us to move forward, we do so, get really uncomfortable and as the days go on,
we contract and then expand to integrate the move and create a new normal. Then we stay steady there for a while, get inspired, move forward, get uncomfortable, contract then expand to integrate and find a new normal again. It is a beautiful process of ebb and flow and such a necessary part in order to really live our life!
Over this past summer, I made my way down to Cedar Point to spend a day riding roller coasters. I love roller coasters…I love the ups and downs and twists and turns. Going up the hill there is the excitement of what it is going to feel like to go down the other side. Then at the top of the hill that feeling builds as the cart travels over the top and heads down. For me, the butterfly feeling as the cart drops down the hill is the best part. In essence, it is the same butterfly feeling when getting involved in a brand new situation or meeting a new person. That feeling is undeniable, intense and sometimes lasts for a few minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months.
For me, this flock of butterflies has been with me for almost 2 straight months now. There was a moment back in October that I knew my life had changed forever. I didn’t know how it would manifest, what it would look like or when, but it had changed. I even announced it to a few friends that were standing around in that moment…and since then, I have had this flock of butterflies with me during my every move.
Its exhausting, and exhilarating, and nerve wrecking, and peaceful, and uncomfortable, and nauseating, and mind-boggling, and insomnia producing, and constructive, and destructive, and makes me happy, and causes massive emotional break-downs. All of this is my body’s way of integrating. An opportunity presents itself, we act on it, get really uncomfortable, contract then expand in order to integrate and find a new normal. I sure hope the new “normal” is on its way really soon! There is a feeling…