swim – We Only Get One Chance

TEARS HELP

There are a few moments in life when there is so much internalized intensity that tears help. Just letting a small explosion come out of your tear ducts helps to alleviate the pressure of the current moment and the stress that is building.

I am a pretty sensitive gal and do my fair share of crying, though crying is not exactly what I am talking about, though I guess it would technically be what is happening.

This past weekend I re-visited Bower’s Harbor on Old Mission Peninsula in Traverse City to compete (or rather complete) the Traverse City Triathlon again this year. I was signed up to do the same distance I did last year which is called a “Sprint” and consists of 1/2 mile swim, 12 mile bike, and 3 mile run.

I had quite a bit if anxiety building up for about a month prior to the race last year due to the distance of the swim. This year I was much calmer…until the morning of.

I had a few friends accompany me in the race this year which included my Mom and step-dad. They had each done two shorter triathlons in the past and had been training and gearing up for a few months for this one. I think I was partially picking up on their nerves that morning as well and hoping and praying they had good experiences since I was the one that encouraged them to participate.
The 5:30AM wake-up time came all too early and we were grateful most of our gear was packed the evening before. The drive up to Old Mission took just over and hour from where we were staying. As the miles passed and the time ticked away, the most intense nervous/anxiety feeling started to brew inside me. No amount of deep breathing or meditation could contain this feeling. It could have possibly been the month-long anxiety from the year before all being packed into one single hour.

I had to come up with a strategy and chose to turn on some loud music and let it out somehow and that is when tears started streaming down my face. As I sat and watched my body do this, I checked into my thoughts to discover there was a little bit of fear creeping around in there…okay, it was sheer terror. Over what? Why such terror? Then I tapped in to the fact that this swimming thing never gets easier for me. I struggle and gasp for air due to my challenged heart and decreased ability to carry oxygen.

So I just let it flow and allowed myself to settle into the idea that the wet suit I was about to put on will keep me on top of the water no matter what and all I have to do is put one arm in front of the other and kick my legs. Tears help a lot in relieving that kind of tension.

We pulled up to the parking lot where we would unload our gear and head down to the starting line. My Mom walks over to me and says “I think I am going to throw up.” That didn’t help the nerves any however I was grateful to have had the avenue of release already figured out and felt better, though still super anxious.

The morning continued. I survived the swim easily this year. The race went well. I beat my time last year by 7 seconds…which I was happy about. At least I am consistent I guess. My hopes in doing these events is that my anxiety will diminish with each event and I can get to a place where I can thrive from the starting gates and focus on the event rather than being distracted with so much anxiety. 2 Sprints down, many many more to go.

Speaking of triathlon, I would like to mention one of my heroes that happens to be doing the Ironman Triathlon this coming Sunday. My cousin Kelley was born 2 years after I was and we grew up together. She has taken on endurance events over the years like it is a side job of hers and will be completing the ultimate endurance challenge ever…Ironman. The race consists of a 2.4 mile swim, a 110 mile bike and a 26.2 mile run. I wish I could be there to witness this huge accomplishment in person but will be there in spirit. And I have to admit that during my race last Sunday, I thought about her and was grateful to not have that kind of a race ahead of me.

Bottom line…tears help. They do. There is a reason they are part of our physiological make-up and can really be used to our advantage from time to time.

CATCHING THE SUNRISE

7am my alarm goes off. I hit snooze and and take 1 minute to check my email while my brain wakes up. I have laid my workout clothes out so I can literally just step into them when I stand up. The night before, I have packed my bag with work clothes for the day. I attempt to wrangle my hair into some sort of presentable fashion, throw on my shoes and a warmer layer and head downstairs. I steer clear of caffeine as I get tons of energy from eating real food (fruits, vegetables, nuts, etc). I usually cut up an apple, throw some raw almonds and a Lara bar in a container, grab my water and put it all in my Jeep. I run back inside to make sure the dog gets a chance to do his business, get him some food and water and head out the door. I jump into my car, put it in reverse and back out of my garage, closing the garage door behind me. This entire process takes roughly 8 minutes…and I have become very aware that if it happens any other way, it’s not happening at all. It sounds strict and regimented but how many excuses do you have for not going to the gym in the morning? I have them too.

So I usually have Sirius XM Coffee House on the radio that slowly eases me into the day. I drive down my road, head on US-23 north and I am off. On the highway, the speed of my Jeep picks up as well as the pace of life. I get off just a few exits from where I got on, take a right and it is the most magnificent part of the morning…the SUNRISE!!! I am new to this working-out-in-the-morning thing (I don’t go into work until 10am so it just makes good sense, however it took me 7 solid years to figure it out)…so I am new to meeting the sunrise on a regular basis. I began my working-out-in-the-morning adventure at the end of spring and its as already light by my 7am alarm. Because I would prefer to be outside for workouts (when it is warm enough outside that is where you will find me) it has only been about 3 weeks since I started back at the gym and hence driving this route.

After that right turn, my path to the gym takes me directly towards the sunrise for half a mile, a jaunt north for 1 mile and then about 5 miles into the sunrise…it has become a really special part of the day. It seems as though I have only gone to the gym on mornings without rain. There has always been a few clouds in the sky, but I am grateful for those clouds because it gives shape, texture and dimension to this beautiful canvas spread out in front of me. I love the first sun rays for their reddish-pinkish tones. It illuminates the sky in a very soft and friendly way. In the past few weeks the trees that line my route are also beautiful as they approach peak color season. And as you can see from the picture, whatever is happening in the sky, is also reflected off the hood of my Jeep.

The other beautiful part of this time of the morning is knowing that there is an entire day ahead and though I have to fit within parameters with time, scheduling and obligations (like work), I get to choose what kind of day I want to have. I get to pick the message I want to send to the world that day. I get to choose who I am going to hang out with, what I am going to eat, how I am going to approach people and what kind of attitude I am going to meet the day with. Imagine being greeted by a beautiful sunrise that seems to be inviting me to have a great day, then going to move my body (which includes swimming and you all know how I feel about swimming I LOVE SWIMMING ) getting ready for work interacting with other people and heading in to serve “The Exceptional Chiropractic Experience” at the Cafe of LIFE. I will argue with you until I am blue in the face…life doesn’t get better than that.

I am blessed beyond measure and if you are reading this, I count you as one of my blessings. I am grateful for everything that is this life and it brings me so much joy to share with people. I hear from so many of my readers in private messages over email, Facebook, text message and in person…however I want to encourage you to take one simple action step here…I want to know how you start your days? How do you ensure you are off on the best foot to maximize the potential of your day? How do you begin? Share in the comments below…you never know how far reaching your words will travel. Maybe you will inspire others with your morning ritual. Or maybe you are like me and really enjoy catching the sunrise.

WHEN AND WHERE IS THE NEXT TRIATHLON?

I DIDN’T DROWN!!! I am grateful for all your kind words, prayers and postive energy that you sent my way. I could feel the support and I want to say thank you and recap the event.

We arrived on the scene Saturday night to survey the course and see what we were in for…admittedly mostly just to check the swim out. I had done a super sprint triathlon with a 300m swim a year ago and I saw the same big orange buoys out in the water and made the assumption that they were marking the course. The course was an out, over and back style. I was relieved in my mind because it didn’t seem like the distance was out of my league. It seemed simple, my mind was settled, we had a

great meal and got a good rest that night.

Arriving back in that same location for gametime the next morning was so exciting. Part of the challenge of doing a triathlon is to make sure all the gear is in the right place. I set up my transition station, put my wetsuit on, grabbed my goggles and swim cap and headed down to watch as the first wave entered the water to begin the swim. There was a guy with a megaphone breifing us on the course and explaining how everything was going to work. He was talking the course through and said “the orange buoys can be on either side of you but make sure the yellow dorito-shaped buoys are on your right.” I thought to myself “What yellow dorito-shaped buoys? Wait, WHAT?!?!? THOSE ONES WAY OUT THERE?!?!?! HOLY MACKERAL!!!! HOW IN TH HECK AM I GOING TO EVEN GET THERE?!?!?!” It turns out the orange buoys (that we thought were marking the course) are just the sight buoys so you know what direction the yellow doritos-shaped ones are since they are so far it is difficult to see them. The orange ones marked about the half-way distance of each side.

Panic set in and I almost lost it. I thought all my training was for not because there was no way I could make it that far. Half mile swim…just seconds away…and all I can think of is I want to curl up in a corner over by the rocks and cry. My Aunt Patty was standing with me, and with a little “You got this!” from her (Thank you Aunt Patty), I took a deep breath and settled down enough to make my way to the start.

I don’t even know what they said besides “Go” and the water was filled with people splashing and kicking and arms and legs flying as a sea of pink caps flooded the water. I thought to myself “all I have to do is put one arm in front of the other and keep kicking and breathing like I had been doing in training and I will be fine” and I found a tiny bit of peace. I passed the first sight buoy with so much negative self-talk going on about how “I can’t go that far” and “I can’t do this” until a moment happened when I realized that I WAS DOING IT!!! …and…I was doing a OK job at it and I was even staying ahead of a few pink caps. Then I remembered all of you out there and in my head, I began to review all the words you had shared with me leading up to the race. I pictured all the faces of the people who wrote to me and were standing by me. It brings me to tears just thinking about it. Half way between buoy 1 and 2, I found a rhythm. I would freestyle for 10(ish) strokes and side-stroke for 3-5 and catch my breath. I remember finally finding a groove and realizing how beautifully navy blue the water is, how warm and wonderful it feels and how powerful my arms are as I watch them cross through my visual field. It was not easy, the distance was no joke but I found myself rounding the second buoy and was heading towards shore.

If any of you have ever been in the water with me, I freak out when weeds are in or around my body and my heart skips beats with the sight of them. My Mom would always say, “They are just bushes underwater” to try to help me deal with them. In the navy blue abyss below me, I could faintly start to see the beginnings of the bottom…and weeds were EVERYWHERE!!! Do you know how grateful I was to see those weeds because that meant I was so close to shore!!! KEEP GOING!!! There was a severe drop-off from the shore and when my foot hit land I was in knee deep water…which meant I could run and that I MADE IT!!!! There was quite a crowd of people standing on both sides of the swim return area when I finished and I know not one of them really knew what it took for me to get to that point…but they cheered anyway and were part of my fan club, or so I pretended.

I finished. I made it. I didn’t drown. I kept going. I swam 750m!!!

Oh yeah, and then there was the 12 mile bike ride and the 5K run and the finish line.

I have a friend that was sending me motivational quotes the day before the race and at the very end of the evening, just before I went to sleep, he sent this:

“Life shrinks or expands exponentially in proportion to ones courage.”

So so true. Life is really, really good. “Strength isn’t doing something that you know you will succeed at, strength comes from doing something you thought you never could”. I finished the entire race and besides the HUGE silly smile on my face and a cheesy thumbs up picture to post to facebook, I thought “When is the next one?”

I don’t know…maybe I am sick… 🙂

I BROKE DOWN…TRIATHLON TRAINING IN TEARS

I broke down this morning…on my run. I broke down and found myself in tears. Some of you know that I have been training really hard for a sprint distance triathlon that is coming up this weekend. My mornings are spent swimming or running or both. I have been working super hard on the swimming part of it because that is my biggest challenge of the triathlon sport. The distances for the race are 750 meter swim, 12 mile bike, and 5K run.

This morning I got up and put on all my gear to jump in the lake and swim. It really wasn’t what I wanted to do but I knew I had no choice. I found myself standing in waist high water not wanting to take the plunge…literally. I learned to swim just last year and I am still learning the technicalities of the stroke and breathing and rhythm. I really wish I would have learned how to put all that together many years ago. It is hard to teach an old dog new tricks…though it is possible. I hired a swim instructor over the past couple weeks and have learned so much from her.

Back in 2006 I was diagnosed with a hole in my heart. It is a hole that is there while in utero but is supposed to close shortly after birth. There is a small percentage of the population that has this challenge. I constantly push my body to it’s limits. Because of the hole, some of my blood skips the lungs and the oxygenation process and so my body ends up with a lower oxygen carrying capacity. I have a challenge improving my running times and biking times because I can only breathe so hard. Then I add the variable of the breathing process while swimming and only being able to take in so much air per stroke. I end up running out of oxygen quickly.

This morning my swim felt awful. It was hard, I had to stop a lot and I got really frusturated when I am found myself gasping for air…yet again. I got back to my dock, switched to my running gear and took off with the dog for a little over 2 miles. It was a simple run and a beautiful morning however I was so stuck in frustration about my swim that I had the thought “I am not going to be able to finish that swim on Sunday.” Admitting to a limitation is a very difficult thing because there isn’t much more that I want but to be able to swim with ease, especially with how hard I have been working on it lately. It is frustrating and I allowed myself to go to tears for a few moments. Then I realized that I cannot run and cry at the same time so I better pull it back together…which I did and finished my run easily.

I came across a quote last night that I will keep close to my heart this week. It goes something like “Strength isn’t doing something that you know you can do, it is doing something that you once thought you couldn’t.” I will keep practicing and on Sunday, August 19th, ready or not, at 8:00AM I will be heading into the Traverse City Bay and swimming 750 meters, followed by a bike and a run. I will be in a shorty wetsuit because it will allow me to, at the very least, stay buoyant and warm. I will put one arm in front of the other, and be grateful for my two arms, and kick, and be grateful for my two legs, to propel myself forward for those 750 meters. If you are reading this right now and you think of it when you wake up that morning, send me a little prayer of strength and endurance.

I have completed a full marathon (ran 26.2 miles) however this is a pretty close second when it comes to anxiety before a race. I do a lot of races and push my limits on a regular basis just to see where those limits are. I am motivated by the feeling of completing them and being awarded a medal, to look back on, for participating, although some races do not hand out medals. I never expect to win and I look at completion of the race as the win. All I have to say is there better be a medal at the finish line of this particular race. I broke down this morning, but I will keep my chin up!