I cried when I read this. This spoke to me in a huge way and is a small lesson to help teach you to listen to your inner voice:
Hi Erica, I’m going to call and make an appointment for both an adjustment and massage. I could wait and tell you all this when I see you but sometimes it seems easier to put my thoughts in writing rather than to just tell it, plus you are a busy person and I don’t want to take a lot of your time. (Although I’ve been known to write books instead of messages, which could take a lot of time anyway. LOL!)
I keep trying to think of how I got so far off track! It’s just these little slips that happen without thinking it will be permanent – like family coming and just not taking time to take care of self. It’s preparing food that they like (and I like) even though it is not at all healthy. Pretty soon, a slip becomes a slide, doesn’t it? So that’s part of what happened last summer.
But then, I decided that the yoga schedule was too hard for me to work out so I joined a local gym, not intending to never go back to yoga. However, I got convinced that working with a trainer would be a helpful thing so I paid huge bucks for that for several months, which meant I couldn’t afford to go to yoga, to the chiropractor, to a massage therapist, etc., etc. The trainer also believes in eating vegan, but is strict on high protein and low, low carbs, which I tried hard to do but couldn’t stick to it. So I started doing high protein/low carbs eating meat, cheese, eggs, etc.
Then, the knee that you had been adjusting got worse and worse and I went to a surgeon who said I had a torn meniscus and he did surgery. He also said I have a significant amount of arthritis in my knee and probably in the other one. That was back in September and I’m still in pain, still stiff and am now doing physical therapy trying to get some strength and flexibility back.
I eventually could not afford the trainer anymore and began so slide off the diet and because my knee hurt so much I also quit going to the gym for the most part. Then I started eating whatever I wanted and gained some of the weight I had lost back.
So, there I was, sitting in my recliner, hurting all over, swollen up in my joints, feeling tight in my muscles, feeling dead in my stomach and OLD, OLD, OLD!!!! And I started praying about it and asking God to help me. And I began remembering how I felt when I fed my body the healthy foods – fruits, veggies, whole grains, nuts – all the things that are good (I was basically off fruits and whole grains on the low carb diet). And I remembered how limber I was, doing yoga, and chiropractic, and how great it was to have you support and encourage the yoga and the healthy diet and how easy and wonderful it was to get massages.
I think in the midst of all the voices that have swayed me one way and then another, I finally heard God’s voice – and my voice – saying “you know what is best for you! you remember what works, what is gentle, what is peaceful, what is healthy.
Sunday night I could hardly walk, hardly climb the stairs, barely even turn over in bed, I hurt so bad. Monday morning wasn’t much better and that is when I decided to make a change NOW! The yoga schedule will be the priority and my work schedule will be worked around it.
I will be going to PT for a while, but I want to come back to Cafe of Life and get back on the journey to health and wholeness. I have to stop allowing myself to get pulled off the journey and to stay focused!
I will be calling this afternoon and trying to get in next week. But I just wanted to tell you where I am in all this. I never intended on stopping my treatment there. It just little by little, day by day, time went by and pretty soon, I almost forgot.
As the yoga instructor says “BEGIN AGAIN.” I went back, by the way, on Monday evening. There was so much I could not do with my stiff knee but I did a lot and I felt more limber and not as tight and did not have as much pain Tuesday morning. The yoga instructor reminded me “Be gentle with yourself, but be persistent.” Good advise for someone who gives up rather easily, isn’t it?
I miss you and your gentle smile. I will be glad to see you and hope you haven’t given up entirely on me! I’m hoping to get this right this time.
Have a blessed Easter. I will see you next week, I hope.
MY RESPONSE:
Thank you so much for that email. I really appreciate you giving me all the details in your update because all of that stuff is important for me to know.
Life is a game of slipping and checking and BEGINNING AGAIN is always an option.
I never give up on anyone. Instead, I hold a space for healing for people whether you are at the Café of LIFE or on a journey that takes you from here. Either way, you will always be welcome here no matter how long it has been since your last visit. I realize that life takes twists and turns as mine does exactly the same. Healing comes from within and it is best to find something on the inside to anchor to so you can stay consistent, which sounds like you may have found that. Being gentle and persistent is how we progress, but take bite size pieces so you keep yourself having small successes that lead to bigger ones and then celebrate those.
There is a lot of “should’s” that can fall on us during a day and make us feel like we are failing in one area or another. Just do your best every single day and know that is all anyone can ever ask.
And give yourself a break, drink your water, find time to stroll and enjoy your days, make good food and exercise choices and believe in your body’s ability to heal. Your thoughts are powerful so make sure to use them in your favor.
Looking forward to seeing you…
Erica
Health & Happiness,
Dr. Erica Peabody
Every time I re-read this, the tears well up because I know there are so many people that have slipped and are struggling. Bless this particular person who shared her words so eloquently and is allowing me to tell her story.
Do you have a little voice in your head that guides you when you are lost? Does it talk to you in a positive way or negative way? Do you listen to your inner voice? It may be the most powerful guidance system you have for your life. There is so much technology, so many opinions, so many things trying to influence and steer you in this direction or that direction. Take some time to be quiet and listen to that inner voice…it is always right. Once you start to listen, and if you find yourself way off course…just BEGIN AGAIN.
