I AM NOT CRAZY

I know what you are thinking, “what is she up to now?!?!”  I have to write this post and just globally announce that I AM NOT CRAZY!!!!

I am selling my house.  Yes, I have been so grateful and blessed to call a cozy place on a beautiful lake south of town “home” for the past 3.5 years.  SO. VERY. VERY. VERY. GRATEFUL.

As I was headed out the door for a run 3.5 years ago, my mom called me to ask if I would ever consider living on the lake (they live on the other side of said lake).  The very first thing that came out of my mouth is “that would be great if I had somebody to do that with.”

I pondered that thought for my entire run and it became very apparent that very thought was an incredibly limited belief about myself and my situation.  I called her right back and said “YES!!!”…and the rest is history.Fenton Chiropractor Lake 2

So fast forward 3.5 years later, with a for sale sign out in front of my house, and everyone is calling me CRAZY!!!  “You have got to be CRAZY to move off the lake!”  “Are you nuts, you live in a beautiful home!”  “I heard a rumor your home is for sale, are you out of your mind?”

All of you know that owning a home is a lot of work.  Adding the word “lake” in front of that word “home”, adds a lot more work on top of that.  I am not one to shy away from work and I have a lot of maintenance things hired out to keep my life simpler.

My biggest challenge is that everything on the lake weights 60-80lbs or more and there are so many routine things that I cannot do at all because things are so CRAZY heavy.  I am just one single gal and I truly have to call people over to help me on so many occasions.

Everyone will say “Oh, but that is simple for you…you have 3 brothers to help you with all that stuff.”  Well there is some truth to that and they step up every single time they can, however, they have their own lives and families and it is tough sometimes to coordinate schedules to make things happen.

I absolutely love the lake I am on and I practically grew up here though we didn’t have a house right on the water.  However, like I mentioned above, my Mom and step-dad are on the other side of the lake and in the summer, my brothers and their families hang out there almost every weekend.  Therefore, I am rarely at my house at all.  I would much prefer being with everyone else and playing with the kids as they learn about their world, about the water and how to swim.  We spend hours and hours chatting, playing, listening to music and the squeals of the children, and making and sharing food together.  That is what I want to spend my time doing and the greatest part of this is that I do not have to give any of that up.  My family will live in the house they are in for many, many, many more years to come.

I have a beautiful pontoon boat that I keep at my house.  It is a running joke on the lake, and some think I AM CRAZY that it never leaves my dock.  I took it out a total of 3 times last summer and 4 the summer before that.  If my family is out on my parents boat, why would I undo my boat and be separated from them?  Trust me, I AM NOT CRAZY!

I have a family home and I do not have a family.  I AM NOT CRAZY for making this decision, I am just one single gal and that is too much house for me anymore.

It is true that I will miss my view and my garage.  I am down-sizing and moving into town really close to my practice.  I AM NOT CRAZY, I have plans to eventually live on another lake down the road sometime.  For now, this is the next right move for me.Fenton Chiropractor Lake

It seems backwards and so strange when I tell others of this move.  I always feel like I have to justify the fact that I AM NOT CRAZY and then I go into my long list of reasons that I am choosing what I am.

I will absolutely miss this house.  If you know me at all, you know I have put some blood, sweat and tears into creating a home here.  Homes that are loved show you they are loved, that is apparent to anyone who walks in my front door.

I remember moving out of my last chiropractic office location and into the location where the Cafe of LIFE Chiropractic lives today.  When I left that location, it had been a chiropractic office spot for over 50 years.  I didn’t buy the office from someone, it just so happened they were moving their practice out when I was moving my practice in.  When the final day came in that space, it was incredibly emotional for me.  It just so happened to be the spot my brothers and I would go to see our chiropractor while growing up.  As a child I ran through those halls I was now serving in.  I also knew that we would be able to offer such a superior experience with so much more space and a better fit in our new building and that is exactly what has happened.

This feels a lot like that move.  It will probably be even more emotional because it has been a sanctuary for me, a refuge at the end of my day and a nest to settle into at night.

In retrospect, maybe it would have been great if I had somebody to live in this lake house with  Maybe that would have made it simpler and easier, or at least I could have had built-in help for carrying heavy things.  (On a side note, I would allow all of you to call me CRAZY if I married someone just so I would have help carrying things).  But I also know and fully trust that it is the next right move for me and it is going to lighten the load, free up my time and allow life to be so much fuller and richer in my new spot, right in town, right by my practice.  That will become my sanctuary, refuge and nest to settle into at night.

Ultimately I did choose to live here and though the seed was planted by someone else, I let it grow and become my current reality, which truly is beautiful and I am so blessed.

I also have found that when life gets a little uncomfortable, that is when the magic really happens.

Yes, I am in tears, this is incredibly uncomfortable.  It is so much simpler to stay in a place than to move  It is so much more comfortable to not make waves and shake up my life and have to pack everything up and unpack a home of boxes on the other end.  But I hope you can hear in my words that I am stunted here in this most beautiful place I call home right now and it would serve me better to let go and move forward.  It is also well thought-out and I rest peaceful knowing that, though it looks like a strange move from the outside, I AM NOT CRAZY!!!!  Rather, I am just doing my best to live my fullest life possible and I HOPE YOU ARE TOO!!!!   …and as a side note, there is a really great, very loved home for sale on Runyan Lake if you are in the market.

 

 

THE TIME WE HAVE

This short clip is talking about the time we have and is represented in jellybeans.  It is a brilliant picture representation of our life.

Watch until the end…profound, profound message about what if today was the only day, what would you do?

Let me know what you think about the time we have, the time I have, the time you have.  It is all so very short.  I have been attending an online course and realizing actions steps need to be taken TODAY!!!  Get out there and make it the kind of day you want!  The kind of life you want!!!  We only get one chance…

 

 

THE MOTH

“I will be on that stage someday” I said to my friend, Ameena, when as we were leaving The Circus Bar in Ann Arbor after “The Moth” StorySlam live event for the first time in early 2014. Ameena sent out a mass Facebook message earlier that day to my Book Club to see if anyone wanted to attend a “story-telling” event in Ann Arbor with her. I had been in the process of studying “The Art of Storytelling” for the past couple years and when I saw it was a live storytelling event, I jumped on the chance to attend.

I do my best to reply “yes” to any invite (within reason) that is thrown my way. I enjoy opening my eyes and mind to new things and ideas, and I tend to get involved in rich, rewarding experiences that start by simply replying “yes”.

Some of you may know of, or already listen to “The Moth”, but let me set the scene.
The Ann Arbor venue holds just over 300 people and all walks of life attend these events. The night consists of 10 volunteer storytellers from the audience. The stories need to be 5 minutes long, true, based on the theme set for the evening, and notes are not allowed. There are 3 sets of judges that are chosen from the audience and there is a Chiropractor Fenton Michigan The Moth 2“winner” that advances on to a larger venue and then on to the “Moth Ball“, a huge event in New York City. While people are telling stories, a warning whistle blows at 5 minutes. Once 6 minutes has passed, another longer whistle blows and points can be deducted due to time. There is an awesome host or hostess that MC’s the evening and weaves their own stories in and around the storytellers as well as sharing “micro-stories” that the audience members have written out.
Throughout the evening, the stories are being recorded; both video recorded as well as audio and “The Moth” shares these stories on NPR, Michigan Public Radio and their podcast that is broadcasted everywhere.

The event happens monthly and I only missed a couple in the past year. I have also been listening to the podcast regularly and look forward to every new episode. Humans are so interesting and everyone has a story to tell. Because I have been on the hunt for rich, rewarding experiences in my life, I have some really cool, fun, awesome and interesting stories, a few of them brewing for the opportunity to match up with a theme at one of these events.

The StorySlam in December happened just before the holidays and while I was in Ann Arbor that night, it came to my attention that the theme for January would be “cold”. PERFECT!!! One of my stories finally matches up!!! That night I committed to getting myself up on that stage in January.

So I began to rehearse my story. I rehearsed it over and over and over, probably about 30 times to my empty house over the month. There was not a lot of feedback when I performed my story to my empty couches,  but it allowed me the chance to get details figured out and hone in my words.
The event was on a Tuesday and was drawing near. As the days ticked by, I became more and more nervous. I do well in front of crowds once I get up there, but the time leading up to it can be absolutely overwhelming with nausea from nerves.

Monday that week, I am going through my regular day at Cafe of LIFE Chiropractic and when I would have a moment to think about getting on stage the next day, I would make myself sick. Monday night I could hardly sleep. Tuesday I woke up a little tired and my day was busy as usual.  It didn’t help that these nervous feelings were taking over my body. I was getting myself so worked up about it I reached out to a friend.  His reply, “If you get there tonight and you feel like doing it, then do it. If not, then who cares!”

Right.

I realized in that moment that it was my perfectionist nature that was creating the stress and if I just let it go and decided to be my imperfect self, I could settle some nerves and step into a powerful place of vulnerability.
I also knew I didn’t have a choice in the matter that evening…this was my evening to make it happen and to live more fully, I just couldn’t let this chance pass me by.Chiropractor Fenton Michigan The Moth
I practiced my story 4 more times on my ride down to Ann Arbor. I walked into the place, signed the rights away on my story and took my seat. A friend had gotten food for me and a little liquid courage which always helps.
The stories started and as they would randomly draw names from the bag, the nerves were so overwhelming, I didn’t know if I was going to implode or explode and decided the only possible way to make it through would be to use my breath to calm me down. I also put a piece of gum in my mouth just so I could stimulate my parasympathetic, relaxation response.

After the first 2 storytellers went, my name was called. I threw the gum out of my mouth, may or may not have said a swear word and up I went.

“YOLO is a trending term. Everyone has been using the concept of “You Only Live Once” that it has been reduced down to these 4 letters.  It was 1994, I was 17 years old and I was in love…”

I knew my story was a crowd-pleaser and I knew they would get a kick out of it. I was surprised it was actually easier to tell the story onstage than at home.  When I practiced on my own, I didn’t have the response of 300+ people laughing and cheering the story on. Onstage, I could feel all that presence and was also able to remain calm and mindful enough to make my words clear, rhythmical and tell a really good story.

I had a friend record it for me and was able to watch myself on stage and I am proud of what I did.
I didn’t win “The Moth” StorySlam that night but it was a huge win in my life. It was something I wanted to do for over a year and decided to bust through any barriers, physical and mental, and make it happen.

Through the years, I have decided I am not going to be sitting on the sidelines of life and letting experiences pass me by. I often get private messages on Facebook and through email asking me “do you have a terminal diagnosis? Are you dying or why are you making all this stuff happen? What is driving you? What is your motivation?” It is simple…we only live once and my plan is to squeeze as much juice out of my days, weeks, months and years as I possibly can.

That Tuesday night is only the beginning of my time onstage at “The Moth”. I am not sure it will be easier the next time I do it. What I do know is that I did it, I went to battle with the perfectionist that lives inside of me and won, I found some strength sharing my story standing in vulnerability, I survived and made it out the other side more fully alive, That is what life is all about.

 

 

MY TRIBE

I never really felt the word “my tribe” until I went on my last vacation over the holidays. This is my tribe.

We have a resonance, ride the same wavelength.
We look at life through a similar lens.
We were familiar to each other from the beginning.
Fenton Chiropractor My Tribe 2We laugh louder and harder together.
We mastermind.
We play. Like kids, we play.
We call each other out on limiting beliefs.
We call each other to be bigger people than we currently are and hold one another accountable.
We love in a really big way, each other and the world.
We bounce ideas off one another and truly gain so much from the other’s perspective.
We live fully and loudly and that is magnified when we are together.
We make our little crazy lives and ideas seem “normal” when we are together.
We have worked so hard, dug and excavated all kinds of stuff in order to uncover more of who we each are at our core. We did a lot of that work together and have tremendous trust in one another.
When there is time to shift and change and grow, a gentle space is held for when one stumbles.
We dance and sing. A lot!Fenton Chiropractor My Tribe
We can be our authentic selves, and it is encouraged.
We love life and remind each other to remain keenly aware of how blessed we are in our individual lives…and also as a group.
We have seen each other at our worst and helped to elevate that space.
We serve others and realize service is the key to happiness.
We have learned love, loss and so many other life lessons together.
We have great respect for one another.
We plan and plot and scheme.
We are family but we are so very different from our own blood-family.

That is my tribe and I wish all of you had a chance to get to know all of them. They are some of the most incredible people and my life would not be quite as rich without them.  There is a great line in the Broadway play “Wicked” that goes something like this…

“Because I’ve known you, I’ve been changed for good.”  This is my tribe.

 

 

SISTER

As many of you know, I grew up with 3 brothers. Can you guess how many days were 3 against 1? All of them and what I would have given to have a sister.
This past holiday season, I spent 11 days with really close friends in the sunshine on the beach. We have traveled quite a bit together over the years. None of us have any kids, so life is simple right now, and while it is, we will travel.
We have had many different accommodations through the years, however, this is the first year we have had a rental house that we all stayed under one roof. At the last minute, a girlfriend of ours joined us.Chiropractor Fenton Michigan Sister The original plan was I would have my own bedroom but now that she was coming, we would be sharing.
Vacation is meant for relaxation and recharging and I have to admit, the idea of sharing a room wasn’t ideal. I have a sleeping issue and unless I have just the right bed, and just the right pillows, and just the right temperature, and just the right amount of noise, I have a challenge getting to sleep. So adding another person for 10 nights seemed overwhelming and not relaxing.
This girlfriend of mine, Allie, I have known for almost 15 years. We have been friends since the moment I met her and have navigated many of life’s ups and downs together. We truly go WAY back!!
The first night, I slept like a baby. It was almost as if I had a guardian angel with me. Truly that is what my sweet friend Allie has become. She is an amazing chiropractor and a powerful woman, however she is so much more than that. She is a healer, an intuitive and she lives to serve and nurture others. We had 6 chiropractors under one roof and she was the one most of us wanted to be adjusted by. We shared in the adjusting duties but she was busy all week checking and adjusting all of us.
As a group of 6, we would spend our days running and playing and dancing and singing and surfing and eating and making movies and clowning around. We would talk about deep topics and superficial topics, topics that effect our day to day as well as those that effect our entire lives.
Then we would all finish our days and head to our respective resting places. Allie and I would shut the door to the outside world and usually pull out our phones. We would chat for a bit and fill in some blanks and share funny things that came through email or Facebook. Then we would turn out the lights and sometimes those conversations would continue.
Remember those sleep-overs as kids when the conversation would head into the after-dark times? That is exactly what it was and we would stay up late.
It was like sharing a room with sister that I never had and I cherish that time with her.Chiropractor Fenton Michigan Sister 2
In my normal day to day, I spend a lot of time in solitude. I have a busy chiropractic office, Cafe of LIFE Chiropractic, and I see a lot of people on a daily basis. I also spend a lot of time out and about amongst people. When I come home, it is just me. I like it that way. I like that when I leave my house in the morning, I know it will be in the same condition when I return in the evening because I am the only one creating the space.
But there are times when it is truly lonely and the responsibility of creating energy that is happening in my house my solo responsibility as I am the only one creating the space.
I realized when I returned home a couple days ago that I miss her tremendously. I miss all my friends, my tribe, but I miss my sister. Sometimes it takes the contrast in life to realize what one truly values. The contrast of the cold helps to appreciate the hot; the contrast of dark helps to appreciate the light, and the contrast of alone-ness helps to appreciate good company.
I know she, and so many other friends, are just a phone call, email or text message away. I have some good friends that are just a short car ride from my home. I love the life and space that I create on my own, and at the same time, I have shifted a little bit and am looking forward to spending more regular time in good company.  I realize the juice of life can be squeezed out of the days as a solo mission, but is so much sweeter when shared.

“If you want to go fast, go alone.  If you want to go far, go together.”

Thank you for all your time and energy this past week my sweet sister Allie. Much, much, much love!!

GET BUSY ENJOYING LIFE

As the seasons tick by and we head into this beautiful Michigan fall, I want to remind you that we all need to get busy enjoying life.  It is going so fast!!

I recently came across this powerful writing and I wanted to share it with you as it seems to fit the mood perfectly.

 

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

 by IRMA BOMBECK (on her death bed from a terminal illness)

” I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for a day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.Fenton Chiropractor Life Life Over

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten popcorn in the “good” living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light the fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, “Later.  Now go get washed up for dinner.”  There would have been more “I love you’s.”  More “I’m sorry’s.”

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute…look at it and really see it…live it and never give it back.  Stop sweating the small stuff.

Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what.

Instead, let’s cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

Let’s think about what God HAS blessed us with.  And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally.  I hope you all have a blessed day.”

 

There are some fun things, some simple things and some things to really think about in that list above.  What an awesome time to bring to our awareness to how sweet and simple life really is.

With such a beautiful week, it is easy to want to get outside and enjoy the days.  Even when it is cold, gray and yucky out, we can still find a little bit of sweetness inside of each day.  Let’s all get busy enjoying life!

 

WELL ADJUSTED SCHOOL

I was on my way up to the top of a mountain with 2 other doctors when I was pulled from the car

to go serve in a school with 720 children.  I am here to serve and will go where I am needed and

WOW!!! what awesome opportunities!!!  Can you imagine a well adjusted school, much less a well

adjusted elementary school?  What a concept, huh?Chiropractor Fenton Michigan 9

When the children see us with our tables, they do not know exactly what is going to happen,

but they can tell they are in for a treat.  We were given the room above and the children

piled in and filled up the seats and each took their turn.

Chiropractor Fenton Michigan 10
I adjust a lot of children at the Cafe of LIFE and one of the things it really helps

with is when children are stuck on the “gas pedal” in their bodies.  They run and

run and run and run, and are just being children.  Some can become sometimes

difficult to manage and often times that is when they are stuck in “gas pedal” mode.  Chiropractor Fenton Michigan 13
Chiropractor Fenton Michigan 14

Chiropractic care helps get off the “gas pedal” and apply some brakes.  Getting adjustments helps them to find a better balance in their entire body thus improving their quality of life, as well as those around them.Chiropractor Fenton Michigan 15

Chiropractor Fenton Michigan 11

This morning at the school, Dr. Austin and I were going to go it together.  We adjusted non-stop for a couple hours and then as Dr. Haley was finishing with her community in the upper elevations, the driver dropped her off with us.  I have to say we were relieved to have another set of hands willing to serve.

I would be interested to know how the afternoon at the school went after everyone got checked this morning…including the teachers!!!  The concept of a well adjusted school seems like it would be a dream come true for the education system.  Anywhere.


IMG_9190


 

FOLLOWING MY BLISS

I am a rule-follower.  I was born that way.  I have always had a keen sense of what was right and wrong and always chose the former.  Over the years I have also learned that some really great experiences come from following my bliss.

I had an incredible day this past Sunday.  The best part was riding bikes in downtown Detroit.  I have grown to really love that city.  It has come a long way and still has a long way to go, but if you haven’t been down there lately, make it a point to spend an afternoon right downtown.

As my friend and I were riding bikes, there was this constant “hum” in the background of the city.  After a bit, we realized it was coming from the Chevrolet Grand Prix that was happening on Belle Isle that day.  Curiosity was piqued and we headed that direction.

Fenton Chiropractor Grand Prix

Mobs of people, buses and police cars clogged up the streets on Belle Isle and so it was perfect to be riding a pedal bike and we gained quick access to the area.

I have never understood the draw to auto racing.  It always just seemed like cars endlessly going around in circles.  I began to slightly understand it when I first started checking and adjusting some race car drivers in my chiropractic office, Cafe of LIFE.  The intense stress their bodies are in during those races, for an extended period of time, in that position…I am not sure you can compare it to any other sport. Chiropractic care has helped these gentleman as they chase their passion of going faster than the rest.

As I approached the track, I could tell that without having a ticket, we were going to have limited viewing capability.  We pulled our bikes into a parking lot and I began scanning the area for the best spot.  As I got closer and closer to the track, it was absolutely amazing how fast these cars were going.  I have never seen anything like it.  And then to think there are guys in those cars, making split second decisions for hours at a time…it truly was incredible.

I found a small utility pole that was close to the fence and was the perfect size for 2 size 8.5 feet to stand on comfortably.   It was about 2.5 feet off the ground so it gave me clear view of the track and was about 20 feet away from where the cars were driving.  I had a really great view.

My “rule-following” mind said, that is not an okay thing to stand on…who knows what it actually is…it could break…I am sure someone will tell me to get down.

But I got up there anyway and, with my fingers in my ears to block out some of the intense noise, I stood and enjoyed a bit of the Grand Prix race.

Down the way I could see an ATV with some policemen heading my direction.  I was pretty convinced they were coming over to tell me to get down.  As I watched them approach, I was thinking that if I don’t actually make eye contact with them, they may just pass me by.

Fenton Chiropractor Grand Prix 1

 I could feel them approach.  I pretended they weren’t there.  I could sense them bring their vehicle to a stop and I acted as though I had no idea and because my fingers were in my ears, I could also pretend that I couldn’t hear whatever requests they were giving me.  I was enjoying the race from my perch and I really didn’t want to get down.

It got to a point when I could no longer ignore them sitting there behind me.  I had to turn around as I was approaching the amount of time that “ignorance” turns to just plain “rudeness” by not acknowledging them.  I knew my fun was over.

I turned around and smiled at the officers and to my surprise…they were trying to get my attention to be able to hand me a SET OF EARPLUGS!!!!I

I was shocked and so thankful.  And then I started laughing at myself and my internal dialogue that led up to that moment.  I know better than to make assumptions.  I was creating anxiety inside of myself because of that assumption, which also led to beliefs that were not true.

Now…by no means am I encouraging you to participate in delinquent behavior, stand on utility poles or disobey any rules.  I do want to encourage you to attend the Grand Prix the “right” way and purchase a ticket.  Above all that, I want to encourage you to follow your bliss.  Have more fun with your day to day stuff and seek out adventures.

As I look back, I consider that day one of my most favorite days of this year so far.  It wasn’t filled with exciting things, it was just a day of hanging with a friend, riding bikes, no obligations and chance to go on an adventure following my bliss.

A SMILE

Never underestimate the power of a smile.

Did you wake up smiling today? Have you smiled yet? Why? How many times? At who? In what setting?

I am realizing as time ticks by, and the wrinkles start to set into my face, the most noticeable ones are my smile lines and I am pretty alright with that.

“A smile is the shortest distance between two people.”

Fenton Chiropractor Smile
Scott and Danielle 2012

A smile stands for connection, joy, hope, happiness, love, compassion, peace and understanding. However, it can also portray nervousness, anxiety and uncertainty. The default expression that crosses my face for any and all of the above is a smile, hence by deep smile lines, often accompanied by giggles or uncontrollable laughter. That is just my style.

I see a lot of pregnant mothers in my chiropractic practice and I get to watch as they spend their first weeks together with their new babies. I think the first time the baby smiles is one of a new parent’s proudest moments. But once they start doing it, they usually do a lot of smiling. That is what we do as humans and it gets to a point that the initial excitement wears off a bit and smiles become a normal part of life, we begin to take that expression for granted.

The last blog post I wrote was about My First Best Friend and how my cousin’s husband suffered a brain bleed and we almost lost him. I shared a bit of their story and I wanted to do a quick update so that you know that he is alive and slowly recovering.

His recovery is being facilitated by his beautiful wife and today marks their 3rd wedding anniversary. They will spend the day in the hospital, as all the days of the past 6 weeks have been spent there. He is nowhere ready to move or be transported yet…and so he is there in his bed and sometimes in a chair…and she sits. She spends endless hours talking to him, encouraging him, doing small movement exercises with him, cheering him on as he responds to commands and just loving him. It is the essence of true love and is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.

My life does not allow me to visit daily but I keep in touch and let her know I am supporting from a distance. Yesterday I got the following message from her:

“I finally got him to smile. It was the most wonderful thing I have ever seen…”

This message made me realize how much we take smiles from our loved ones for granted. We walk on by and maybe smile back, maybe even hold back a smile out of resentment or disdain. I never realized how important a smile was until that message yesterday.

There are so many hours of silence in that hospital room. In 6 weeks time, there are only so many one-sided conversations to be had, but that doesn’t stop her. She plays music for him and reads to him while he wakes up a bit and falls back to sleep.

Many people have sent cards, well-wishes and inspiration and one wall has a small collection that they review on a regular basis. It is one of the things that really stimulates him so I would like to make a simple request. If you are reading this, please take a blank piece of paper and write them a little encouragement and put it in an envelope and send it in the mail to:

Danielle and Scott Hawkins
C/O Cafe of LIFE Chiropractic
521 N. Leroy St.
Fenton, MI 48430

For the cost of a stamp (of course greeting cards are always welcome as well), we can hopefully collectively encourage these smiles and healing moments inside of him.

As I wrote in my Facebook status last week, to most of you, Danielle and Scott are perfect strangers. I promise, promise, promise that if you knew them, you would love them too.

Please send a smile to them, a little encouragement, a little love…and then spend a little more time in your smile mode today and in the future. The great thing about smiles is you will never run out. Spread them around!!! We only get one chance…

MY FIRST BEST FRIEND

I had no idea when I was born, that my first best friend was already here waiting for me.

My cousin, Danielle, is 6 weeks older than i am and we pretty much grew up attached at the hip any chance we got.  Neither of us had sisters so we became that to each other.

My house was right next door to my grandparent’s home and so every time she visited them, which was quite often, I got to see her.  We did everything together, from barbies to cabbage patch kids, from building sand castles to playing in tree forts, from blazing trails through the woods and carving trees to making

Fenton Chiropractor Best Friendup stories as we spent hours out playing in the apple orchard.

We talked about our hopes and dreams and made plans for our lives.  I was always so jealous she got to go to Girl Scout Camp every summer…but she made up for it by teaching me all the songs she learned when she returned.  In fact, that radio in my head that plays music non-stop sometimes gets locked on that channel and as a 30-something…those songs stuck on repeat are more annoying than cool.

To this day, we make time for each other.  She is one of my biggest cheerleaders, and although she doesn’t allow many to cheer for her, I am one of hers.  There seems to be a length of time, that if we go past too many days without having time to sit down and catch up with each other, we both go a little crazy and make time in our schedules right away.

I sent her a text message on Friday morning about how excited I was about going to the Water Hill Music Festival in Ann Arbor next weekend, and although I knew it was still another week away, I was stoked to have some time to hang out.  I had just seen her 5 days prior as her and her husband, Scott, along with a group of my nearest and dearest, spent the evening celebrating my birthday at my home.

On Friday, she didn’t respond back to that text message right away and after a few minutes she called.  She doesn’t ever call, we don’t need to talk on the phone, we already know what each other is usually thinking so text and email are our norm.

Her voice was cracking.  She was seriously shakin’ up.  Then she proceeded to tell me that Scott, her husband, had a brain hemorrhage and is in the hospital and asked if I could come up.  I had a couple obligations that day and headed up as soon as i could.

I have spent the past 2 days with my heart breaking right along side her, and I feel like these days are just the beginning of a long road.  She is one of the strongest and bravest that i know.  She has had her share, plus some, of adversity and challenge in her life.  She keeps her head up through all of it.  She plugs away and she always comes out on top.  She is one incredible woman and I know those who really know her feel lucky.

Her and her husband have the most beautiful love story, reconnecting after so many years and blending their family, his 2 kids and her 2 kids.  They have a really sweet love that is palpable when you are around them.  They perfectly compliment each other.

Right now she spends her moments sitting at his bedside, and only leaves to close her eyes and sleep on an uncomfortable pull-out/fold down chair thing a couple rooms away.  She talks to him, dodges all the tubes and medical apparatus to kiss him, loves on him, plays music for him (he is a music man) and holds his hand for hours on end.

He has shown signs of improving.  Will he come out of the state he is in?  We don’t know.  Will he return to the Scott we are used to?  We don’t know that either.  How long will it take?  We all wish we knew that answer but we don’t know anything at this point.

What I do know, what I am sure of is that she will be ok.  There are going to be moment to moment, hour to hour, and day to day ups and downs.  She is the strongest and bravest that I know of.  I will not be able to stand with her all the time during this process as I have obligations in my life I need to tend to, but I leave my heart with her when I am not there.

I am writing this blog from the rawest place in my being.  My heart has been ripped out of my chest these past 2 days and i want to share this story because my family needs all the praying, meditating, affirmation-saying people we can get.  I am sending out a request to all the troops to please help lift up my first best friend and her husband.  They could really use your help right now.  Peace.