Category: present-time consciousness

“HELLO! HELLO! HELLO!”

“HELLO!  HELLO!  HELLO!” is such a familiar greeting in my childhood.  “Mom, why does grandma say ‘Hello’ three times when we walk in?” my 7 year old self would ask as we walked into my grandmother’s home who lived just one mile down the street from where I grew up.

I just heard that familiar greeting as I am sitting in the living room at my grandmother’s home in her golf oasis in Florida as a few of her friends arrive for a visit.  I have been here all weekend with some other family members as my grandmother moves nearer and nearer to THE final destination.  Yes, she is dying.  Not today.  Not tomorrow.  Not this week.  Probably not next week or the week after.  Within a month or two she will leave this earthly plane but in the meantime she is alive and living the best that she can and we are here to experience some of that.

I feel fortunate to be privy to some of the stories that are shared in such an intimate setting.  I always knew my grandmother was strong, powerful, full of life and opinionated.  However, as I sit and listen the stories this weekend (and of course stories I have heard over the years) she is also a real person with real life experiences, has had many ups and downs, has shed a lot of tears, has found love and happiness and has the most contagious, roaring laugh on the planet.

My Mom is here, a few aunts and uncles, with other neighborhood friends of my grandparent’s stopping by during the days.  Grandma is spending most of the day relaxing, reminiscing and resting.  We have done a lot of sitting and talking, literally hours of sitting and talking.  We have all shed tears, shared stories, asked questions and done a ton of laughing.  In fact, the first morning I woke up here, I thought to myself how great it is to be awakened from sleep by roaring family laughter, especially considering these circumstances.

During this time, we have drawn out the family tree.  My grandmother birthed 10 children.  My grandfather, who isn’t my grandfather by blood but has been “Grandpa” to me for close to 30 years, has 7 children of his own.  There are layers of grandchildren and great grandchildren and the total count of immediate family comes to 96 people total.  WOW!!!  Isn’t that an absolute monstrosity of a family!!!

“It’s a myth that a big family is always happy.  We have our share of tears, but there is a network support system that always goes into gear in time of need.  My children were the reason I got up in the morning” a direct quote from my grandmother back in 1981 when she was voted “Mother of the Year” by the local Fenton newspaper at the time.

That “network support system” has always been a central idea to how our family was run and I see it in my generation, especially when it comes to my own siblings and nearest and dearest.  That theme is a powerful part of what my life was built around especially considering my dad was one of his own natural support network of 9 children.

There is nothing like family, absolutely nothing that can replace these blood connections.  When family gets to these numbers, there are good eggs and bad eggs, however we are all connected and always will be connected in a way that runs strong and deep behind the scenes…and largely due to the ideas of the amazing matriarch that started this show.

My grandmother is a legend and one of my heroes.  I know she will never truly grasp in this lifetime the extent of her extraordinary life and contribution to this world.  She will never realize what an amazing person she is, her beauty, her strength and how much good she contributed while she is here.  But her faith is strong and I know she will figure that out as soon as she sheds her current failing body.

When she leaves this earthly plane, she will travel effortlessly to wherever she believes Heaven is and I know God will know when she arrives because he will hear her roaring laughter and her infamous “HELLO! HELLO!  HELLO!”.  May peace be with you in your process of transitioning, Grandma, and thanks in advance for watching over all 95 of us from the other side.

THANK YOU

I need to say THANK YOU to all of you.  I have made one HUGE transition since the beginning of this year and it is making a world of difference.  I finally changed our afternoon hours at the Cafe of LIFE!

Over the past few months, we had numerous requests for our

afternoon hours to begin at 3pm instead of 3:30pm.  In combination with that, we were finding that our 6-6:30pm time slot has been quiet and since the time change this past fall, it really felt like we were working super late into the night with how dark it is.  So after a couple years of deliberation (this one I have been considering for quite some time) we have made the switch.

And I AM THRILLED!!!  I have spent the past 8 years serving others and at times, have made sacrifices in my own life in order to do so.  Getting out at 6:30 Monday through Thursday would limit me.  Seems so many events, classes, concerts and such that I wanted to attend would start at 7 and be close to an hour away from Fenton (everything seems an hour away from Fenton for some reason).  I would have to decline offer after offer over the years. There were classes at the gym that I never could make due to my schedule.  Leaving at 6:30 meant that I could pretty much do one thing and then the night would be over and its time for bed.

Some of you may be thinking…its a mere 30 minutes she is talking about here.  What is the big deal?

There is a lot that can be done in 30 minutes…a good cardio workout, make a delicious dinner, drive half way to Detroit, drive half way to the Wharton Center, have a meaningful conversation, make a phone call to catch up with a friend, run a 5K, bike one loop around Kensington, drive to Pine Knob Amphitheater, eat dinner at a restaurant, have a glass of wine, drink a glass of champagne, make a few runs on my snowboard at Mt. Holly, sleep…there is a LOT one can do in 30 minutes!

Then multiply that by 4 (days a week that I get out a half hour early) and then multiply that by 50 weeks of work in a year and that turns into 6,000 extra minutes in the evening per year…and there is a WHOLE LOT one can do in 6,000 minutes!!!  You get my point.  And it is 6,000 minutes more for me and 6,000 minutes more for Angie who, mind you, has a little one to tend to in the evenings.

So I am saying THANK YOU because i haven’t heard one negative comment about us shifting our hours.  Thank you for being so understanding.  Thank you for allowing me to take back a little portion of my life.  Over the past 6 working days, I have had tremendous guilt for leaving a half hour early but I recognize that is all self manifested guilt and that not one person is making me feel that way besides myself.  It may take me the next 8 years before I am used to leaving at 6…but I am looking forward to making the most of those 48,000 extra minutes while I am doing it.  Thank you!

 

 

“OK”, “EH”, “NOT BAD”

I get to serve a lot of people at my chiropractic office and many of them I have seen for many, many years.  This is not everyone, but this is a taste of how some of the conversations begin…

Me:  “How are you?”    Them:  “Eh…”

or

Me:  “How has your week started?”      Them:  “It’s ok.”

or

Me:  “Has you had a good day?”     Them:  “Eh…”

or

Me:  “Has your week started well?”      Them:  “Not bad.”

or

Me:  “What are your plans for this beautiful evening?”    Them:  “Not sure.”

 

I am by no means saying that these are not perfectly acceptable answers to my rather regular questions, it is absolutely ok to say whatever you feel like.  The reason I am bringing this up is because some of these people say the same things over and over for YEARS!  When I say that, I really mean they have been un-excited about life for as many years as I have known them.  It almost

 seems like they live Monday through Friday just to get to the weekend.  Then when I ask them how their weekend went, they say “Eh, it was ok.”  REALLY?!?!?!?!  WHAT GIVES???

    LIFE IS LIFE.  Sometimes there isn’t anything real “exciting” going on, no cool vacation to look forward to, didn’t win the lottery recently, no brand new home to move into, still driving the same old car, no crazy shopping spree to go on…nothing exciting at all.  Ever thought for a moment that what happens on a regular daily basis is ENOUGH to get excited about?

Life is absolutely filled to the brim with mundane, routine stuff.  As human beings we have to get up in the morning, it is probably a really good idea to eat breakfast and take a shower and most will be get ready for work (either inside the home or outside the home) or school.  We will then put ourselves in a vehicle of some sort and transport ourselves somewhere where we will spend the next 8-12 hours (1/3-1/2) of our days doing something to earn a living.  During that time we will probably take a break for lunch, maybe find a lunch buddy to chat with and then go back to work or school (even if you are at home raising a family, there is probably a routine you fall into).  We will more than likely jump back in a vehicle of some sort and drive ourselves back to the place where we started our day, find a little more food, maybe get some sort of exercise in, brush our teeth and lay down for the night to rest only to get up and do the same thing all over again the next day…and the next day…and the next day.  Ugh, just writing that sounds like a drag.

But...LIFE IS LIFE!!  What if you started your day with the idea that “gosh it is really good to wake up on the top side of the grass!“?  What if that is the attitude you began the day with…an ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE for even getting another day to live?  What happens if you sat a few extra seconds and decided to actually TASTE and EXPERIENCE your breakfast?  What textures are there?  What tastes are happening in my mouth?  It is so neat that I can eat a bowl of cereal and it becomes muscles, tissues, organs and glands!  Then when you are in the shower…how about really feeling and experiencing what it takes to clean your body.  How does the water feel?  What smells are present?  Or just be grateful to have clean, fresh, warm water to bathe in everyday!  

If you let it, the drive to work will take on a life of its own…so many things to look at inside and outside of the vehicle.  This time of year the leaves are changing and it is beautiful!  And suddenly we are grateful for the stop lights and stop signs because they make us pause and have a moment before moving forward and that can become a moment to give thanks for the good ‘ol car that you get to drive everyday.  Once at work, instead of dreading all the filing you have to do, the emails you have to return or the annoying people you have to deal with…take a glance out to what is the big picture of what you are doing on a daly basis.  Can you count the number of lives you have effected just because you do the work you do?  How are you serving others?

The drive home, exercise, stopping in for your chiropractic adjustment, getting dinner, spending some time with your family and then hitting the sack for another night of rest to be able to recharge to do it all again tomorrow…they all take on a new meaning if we become a little more present and show just a smidgen more enthusiasm while doing them.  When you are asked “how was your day?” after you spent a day like that, you will actually want to say “IT WAS GREAT!  For what it was, it really was great!”  Now that doesn’t mean that other people’s day wasn’t 100 times more fun than yours, according to your perception…but in the grand scheme of things, their day doesn’t matter and there is absolutely no reason to try to compare your day to someone else’s day.  It is YOUR LIFE and this LIFE full of mundane-ness is going REALLY FREAKIN’ QUICKLY!!!  We are here to do this one time and I cannot figure out one good reason to not get excited about the mundane-ness and routine-full-ness…because 90% of what we do on a daily basis is exactly that.

So think about the concept of SUPER EXCITING, ABSOLUTELY AMAZING, REALLY FUN, AWESOME, BREATH-TAKING, PULSE INCREASING, HAIR RAISING, TERRIFICALLY FANTASTIC mundane-ness.  It exists.  Trust me, I know.  The key to it, its a conscious choice you get to make  Enjoy yourself, every day of your life…and consider this a triple-dog dare to you to have some fun going through your routine tomorrow…and then let me know how it goes.  If you are able to make a small shift, you will notice something about life…that it is REALLY, REALLY GOOD.  I would love to hear your stories.  🙂

 

DELIBERATE ACTION

“Hey Erica! There is a sloth right outside our window!” comes from the bedroom of the bungalow I was staying at in Costa Rica. In that particular instance, the girlfriend I was sharing a room with happened to look out the window. It was that particular instance she spotted him, however I am thinking that it is quite possible that she could have looked out at any point that entire morning, and maybe that entire day, and that sloth would have still been there. They do not move fast.
I saw a cartoon a few weeks back that this guy had gone to the doctor to ask why he was turning green. The doctor said something like “I would suggest you start an exercise program. You are growing moss!” The sloth is the same way. You cannot see it from this angle however the fur on his back was green, literally growing moss because he moved so slow! The picture you see is taken with my iPhone and though my arm is extended as far as it will go, the picture itself is not zoomed in. This sloth didn’t have a care in the world. We opened our window and then our screen and talked to him, made fake sloth noises (whatever those are), took tons of pictures, made a movie (its a sloth movie and incredibly boring or I would post it) and it is really true, you cannot scare a sloth!
So I sat and watched him. He just hung there, would reach out to grab a branch or a leaf in what looked like a slow-motion movie. I watched him sniff a couple leaves, then open his mouth and bite down on one, then let go of that branch and go back to chewing and hanging around. We had plans that morning which interrupted our sloth-viewing session or I would have stayed and watched for a while. They move so slowly and so deliberately, or so it seems. Their moves seem so well thought out, every millimeter planned and executed with precision. We later learned that they only go to the bathroom once a week and to do that they come down from the trees.
They are interesting creatures and have a rather mysterious feeling about them. I would say there is a real sense of the present-time consciousness when it comes to the activities during their days. There didn’t seem to be much wasted energy on stuff that didn’t matter. It reminds me of moments when I find myself really present. Its that “work smarter, not harder” idea. Be deliberate with your time and energy. Many people walk around in life almost asleep. Have you ever driven your car and arrived at your destination without even knowing what route you took to get there or what you saw along the way? Have you ever finished dinner without even knowing what the food tasted like? Have you ever logged into Facebook, turned on a video game, or sat down in front of the TV and gotten up hours later wondering how 4 hours passed without you noticing?
This sloth reminded me of being present, making conscious decisions, and taking deliberate action. It is the idea of the “herd mentality” and taking a different path then the rest of the pack. I was standing in line and waiting to bathroom before a 5k this past weekend. I was 3rd in line for what appeared to be a full 3 stall bathroom…or full because the doors were shut. After waiting for the rotation of stalls to clear, I began to notice that the 3rd stall was skipping the rotation. Breaking free from the “herd” to deliberately walk up and check to see if the door was locked revealed a free stall. Who knows how long it had been free, however the line could have moved 33% faster if we were being a little more awake, aware and deliberate. Take the next 24 hours and check in with yourself during all the activities you participate in and make sure you are awake and really living life…maybe be a little more “sloth-like” and deliberate. We only get one chance…

EVERYONE….MEET CHOCO!!!!

Everyone…meet Choco!!!!  So I have decided to get a dog. This is Choco and he is a 2 year old chocolate lab that I cannot wait to get. Choco lives in Colorado Springs right now with a family that loves him however they are so busy with life they do not get enough time to be with Choco and he needs attention. My intention is to bring Choco into the Cafe of LIFE with me on a daily basis to be part of our LIFE parties that happen everyday. I am glad he is already 2 as he will fit into my life better than a puppy at this point. Choco will love some of the places that I hike and will get me back in my running sneakers. HE will have the lake to explore at my mom’s house and 200 acres of orchard to explore at my dad’s house and a cousin named Walter to play with. He will arrive in Detroit by plane around December 1st. You will meet him very soon!