water – Page 2 – We Only Get One Chance

TEARS HELP

There are a few moments in life when there is so much internalized intensity that tears help. Just letting a small explosion come out of your tear ducts helps to alleviate the pressure of the current moment and the stress that is building.

I am a pretty sensitive gal and do my fair share of crying, though crying is not exactly what I am talking about, though I guess it would technically be what is happening.

This past weekend I re-visited Bower’s Harbor on Old Mission Peninsula in Traverse City to compete (or rather complete) the Traverse City Triathlon again this year. I was signed up to do the same distance I did last year which is called a “Sprint” and consists of 1/2 mile swim, 12 mile bike, and 3 mile run.

I had quite a bit if anxiety building up for about a month prior to the race last year due to the distance of the swim. This year I was much calmer…until the morning of.

I had a few friends accompany me in the race this year which included my Mom and step-dad. They had each done two shorter triathlons in the past and had been training and gearing up for a few months for this one. I think I was partially picking up on their nerves that morning as well and hoping and praying they had good experiences since I was the one that encouraged them to participate.
The 5:30AM wake-up time came all too early and we were grateful most of our gear was packed the evening before. The drive up to Old Mission took just over and hour from where we were staying. As the miles passed and the time ticked away, the most intense nervous/anxiety feeling started to brew inside me. No amount of deep breathing or meditation could contain this feeling. It could have possibly been the month-long anxiety from the year before all being packed into one single hour.

I had to come up with a strategy and chose to turn on some loud music and let it out somehow and that is when tears started streaming down my face. As I sat and watched my body do this, I checked into my thoughts to discover there was a little bit of fear creeping around in there…okay, it was sheer terror. Over what? Why such terror? Then I tapped in to the fact that this swimming thing never gets easier for me. I struggle and gasp for air due to my challenged heart and decreased ability to carry oxygen.

So I just let it flow and allowed myself to settle into the idea that the wet suit I was about to put on will keep me on top of the water no matter what and all I have to do is put one arm in front of the other and kick my legs. Tears help a lot in relieving that kind of tension.

We pulled up to the parking lot where we would unload our gear and head down to the starting line. My Mom walks over to me and says “I think I am going to throw up.” That didn’t help the nerves any however I was grateful to have had the avenue of release already figured out and felt better, though still super anxious.

The morning continued. I survived the swim easily this year. The race went well. I beat my time last year by 7 seconds…which I was happy about. At least I am consistent I guess. My hopes in doing these events is that my anxiety will diminish with each event and I can get to a place where I can thrive from the starting gates and focus on the event rather than being distracted with so much anxiety. 2 Sprints down, many many more to go.

Speaking of triathlon, I would like to mention one of my heroes that happens to be doing the Ironman Triathlon this coming Sunday. My cousin Kelley was born 2 years after I was and we grew up together. She has taken on endurance events over the years like it is a side job of hers and will be completing the ultimate endurance challenge ever…Ironman. The race consists of a 2.4 mile swim, a 110 mile bike and a 26.2 mile run. I wish I could be there to witness this huge accomplishment in person but will be there in spirit. And I have to admit that during my race last Sunday, I thought about her and was grateful to not have that kind of a race ahead of me.

Bottom line…tears help. They do. There is a reason they are part of our physiological make-up and can really be used to our advantage from time to time.

DON’T THINK ABOUT IT, JUST JUMP IN!!!

As the days go on, my love for swimming grows and grows. I feel like I have to get my “swimming fix” on a daily basis now. I pull into my parents house, walk down their gazillion steps to the water, set my stuff down, put my hair up, put my goggles on, walk to the end of the dock and jump right in. I used to be plagued with that silly “the-water-is-too-cold” syndrome. I would sit at the end of the dock and contemplate how cold it was going to be, how bad that was going to feel, how yucky that shock to my system feels, how much of a hassle my hair was going to be once it gets wet (I do not have the “wash and go” type of hair), how much mascara was going to be running down my cheeks and a number of other things. Half the time I could convince myself to jump in and the other half of the time I would try to walk away or dodge my brothers or step-dad trying to push me in.

A lot has changed lately and the ability to just “jump in” that lake is a HUGE deal for me…and you know me, the message doesn’t stop there. I have been thinking about how that “don’t think about it, just jump in” message is applicable in my life. Everyone has heard the phrase “analysis paralysis” and how we can literally think ourselves out of just about anything. Taking too long to make a decision, can result in not deciding at all. Analysis paralysis is not my norm, however I do fall prey to it at times. I have been using this (almost) daily jump in the water to help me with some of that stuff that holds me back in the background of my life. I will continue to do that and maybe even be a little more deliberate about what the jump really represents for me on that particular day, during that particular week or maybe in a particular situation…a metaphor for life.

When I jump, that first instant when I am all the way underwater, goggles on and I open my eyes…is really, really special to me. Bubbles fill my visual field, often I see my mom or step dad’s legs kicking as they begin their swim, I feel the freshness of the crisp water engulf my body, sometimes I see weeds but the picture that sticks with me are the rays of sunlight as they light up the underwater world. It is so beautiful what happens to the sunbeams as they pass through the surface of the lake. I do not think I am poetic enough with my words to do any justice to this picture. Maybe you need to go try it for yourself…and when you get to the dock, or the shore or the pool edge, DON’T THINK ABOUT IT, JUST JUMP IN!!! …since we only get one chance.

I AM IN LOVE

I am in love …WITH SWIMMING!!! In my trek to my first triathlon, I have discovered a love for swimming. I am so crazy about it and I had no idea I would enjoy it this much. In fact, I find myself so excited during the day knowing that I get to go out there and jump in the water and swim! So in this crazy joy I am finding in swimming, I am taking a step back and trying to understand what is happening in my mind that makes me love it so much.

I do most of my swimming out in the lake and the water has been really, really beautiful. I have been focusing on free-style stroke which I am hoping to do for the entire swim distance of the triathlon.

I have been working really hard on rhythmic breathing in order to be able to tackle the stroke which is a challenge in and of itself for my body. The breath is taken through the mouth and then the head goes in the water, breathe out the nose and then coming back up for a breath and start again. I have found such a peacefulness in the time that my head is underwater.

I have goggles on of course and can see in the water but cannot see anything because the lake is rather deep. I see the bubbles coming from my nose and I watch my arms as I take strokes and watch the trail of bubbles that follows my hands as they move through my visual field. There is something about that scene that I am completely mesmerized by and I think about during the day.

It is really quiet underwater. That peacefulness is contrasted every time I take a breath with all the chaos on top of the water from the sights and sounds of the world above the surface. Then I return to the peace, then chaos, then peace, then chaos. I also notice how much of the water I can feel when I first jump in and the temperature contrast of that first submersion when compared to the air. I have come to really enjoy the slight pressure on my skin as I move through the water and the sweeping sensation the water makes as I begin covering the distance. When I am finished and get back up on the dock, there is an incredible euphoria and sometimes a slight dizziness from over oxygenation of the body. I am hooked…in a really serious way.
Those of you who know me realize that I am continuously exploring and looking for new adventures and new doors to open. In that, I have made some really awesome discoveries.

Have you been exploring? Are you finding new and wonderful things in this life on a continual basis? Life is a process of discovery…on many levels. I am in love with swimming. Get out there and try something new…we only get one chance. …oh, and come cheer me on on June 25th 8:00am at Clover Beach off Linden Rd:)