HUNKER DOWN
This past weekend I spent hunkered down and studying. It was the perfect weekend to do just that and I was so grateful to have the time.
The holidays were crazy busy and the beginning of the year was the same. This past weekend fell into the perfect spot, and from this point forward, life will be busy again. I also found an appreciation for the “January thaw” that happened as there wasn’t even an option to snowboard and that took one more possible distraction off my list. 
When I tell people that I hunkered down and studied this past weekend, I find them trying to figure out what in the heck am I studying at this point in my life?
I am studying me…and what makes me, me. Over the years I have found that the more light that shines onto our life, the darker the shadows get meaning when life gets really, really good, dim corners begin to take on a new level of darkness.
Some look at me and my life and automatically think that it must have always been this good. Not true.
Ad astra per aspera. — “to the stars through difficulties”
This statement is a great summery of LIFE. I have had some serious ups and downs that have shaped me to who I am today.
You may not know that I grew up in a home seriously challenged with alcoholism. To add to that, I grew up with 3 brothers and finding yourself on the short end of the 3 versus 1 game on a daily basis was just plain hard. I found refuge in escaping to my horse barn and spending hours braiding my horses’ manes and tails.
I was always a good student and did my very best to be absolutely perfect so as to not ruffle any feathers. I was, and still am, a massive overachiever because I have found that is the safest way to maneuver this life.
Did you know that I got married when I was 19? And that I was married for 7 years? I divorced when I was 26 years old and moved home to Fenton 2 years later after I finished chiropractic college. Because I divorced during school that required 35 hours a week of mandatory attendance, working part time, and taking test after test and national boards that are determining my next move in my career, there is not a lot of time to sit and process things. So when I moved home 2 years later, I fell into a depression. I was able to function but just barely for about 2 months. I had no idea what I was going to do, where I was going or how I was going to get there. The best I could do was to promise myself to get out of bed every single day and do something that furthered me down the path to opening a practice, even if that meant buying one pack of pens because that was all the motivation I could find that day…but all I really wanted to do was hide.
These are just a few of my own personal struggles…of course you know me well enough to know that I will not air it all on here but these are a fraction of the challenges and obstacles I have experienced. I also realize that these struggles may seem simple as compared to what you have been through in your lifetime. I have come to the conclusion that life is for living and learning.
Nothing in my life has been handed to me. I have worked very, very hard at creating what I have and I am often in tears of gratitude that I get to express myself in this life in the way I do.
For me, there is ALWAYS “excavating” that needs to be done. I do my best to not take life to seriously however from time to time it is right and necessary to get serious and start digging. In order to genuinely express myself in my life, I need to take time to look at the things that hold me back, the fears I have, the misconceptions and internal obstacles that stand in my way of living fully.
This past weekend I had set time aside to do just that. I belong to an amazing Book Club that helps me excavate on a regular basis, but I also need to pull some of the wounds open on my own, debride, apply some salve and let them remain open and uncovered as they heal.
So I hunkered down and did some of that last weekend so that I can show up in my world in the best way possible. In the technological age that we live in, it is so simple to keep ourselves so busy we never get time to just sit and think. We go and go and go, and when we have a moment to sit, we pick up our phones, iPads, laptops or turn on the TV and get some screen time in instead of taking time to be and sit and think. When was the last time you had a moment to think about things? I would like to challenge you to take a moment between all of your obligations, and instead of filling it with screen time, just think. Some quick “easy” questions to ask…Who am I? What is the meaning of my life? What is my purpose? Where did I come from? Where am I going? and How am I going to get there? You do not need to do serious excavating to begin to express more of the life you want…but taking time to sit and think would do us all a lot of good.
GRATITUDE TREE
Through the months of November and December this year, we had a “Gratitude Tree” here in our reception area. Every time someone would come and get adjusted, they had to stop by the “Gratitude Station” and fill out a leaf and put it up on the tree. Since we are into the New Year, the tree has come down however I want those gratitude thoughts to live on so I want to share them with you.
“my family, naps, resilience, hugs,communication, sun, the ability to communicate with loved ones who life far away, I am grateful for how much Erica is in touch with her Innate, ninja turtles, my children, my friends and family, love light and laughter, a healthy family, my husband, butterflies, saving grace, abundance of health, 
holiday parties, my body and its ability to heal itself and for chiropractic for helping it along, my amazing connections with people, my friends, my family, the Cafe, for the people in my life who inspire me to go beyond my own boundaries and fly, my cat Izzy, being able to wake up on a Monday and feel excited to go to work I LOVE my job, laughter, my dog he makes me smile every day and bring a lot of joy to my life, I am grateful for my loving family, all the people in my life, the lessons I’ve learned, the gift of love, I am thankful for my family friends and Dr. Erica and staff, flow let it flow!, my wife and kids, music, my physical mental and emotional health, I am grateful for time with people I love, family friends and good health, family and health, warm cozy sweaters, Jesus, my awesome LIFE, my back, a fun and happy place to visit…the Cafe of LIFE, my daughter graduating from WMU this week Magna Cum Laude from Honors College, sunshine, a healthy family, grateful for Erica and my health, my nephews, my son, family, my children Ashton and Lorilei, I am grateful for people who grow organic produce, Bloody Marys, having an “easy” pregnancy and the love and support of my wonderful husband, I am grateful for my Mom and all that she does to love and support me as I evolve and grow in this lifetime, being able to work on and overcome my challenges, fall, hot cocoa, friends family and community, I am thankful for God’s love, family, LOVE, Thankful for good health, happiness, prosperity and EXCELLENT chiropractic service, unconditional LOVE, my children-grandchild Paul and health, I am grateful that I’m still breathing, I am grateful for ANGIE!, patience, I am grateful for all the amazing people that come to the Cafe everyday I love being able to serve you!!!, Innate Intelligence and the body’s ability to heal, I am grateful for Angie Bucsi and how much light she brings to the Cafe everyday, I am grateful for a really amazing man that has recently entered into my life and I look forward to the journey, I am grateful to be blessed with an amazing job and people to work with, the strong women I know and love, God’s favor, being in this community, abundance, I am grateful for my LIFE sometimes I forget how BIG, opportunities, I am thankful for the wonderful family that surrounds me, hunting season, Happy Holidays for all and good health and blessings, I am grateful for my LIFE!, health, I am grateful for unanswered prayers, friends who love me, memory, my sister she is my best friend, I am thankful for my husband-my friend and confidant, cake!, I am grateful for the ability to serve this community!, family and friends, the life lessons I’ve had the opportunity to learn from, health, my kids, I am thankful for my puppy Ava, smiles and laughter from my family and friend (and strangers who have happiness to share), my pets, my son Nathan, people who hire housekeepers, espressos and free puppies, able to pay bills, a healthy body, language and communication, health food and clean H2O, I’m grateful for my new baby daughter, Jeff Sheila and Stella, wine, sugar-free lattes, family, peace, sobriety, my awesome husband, the ability to read, I am truly grateful for my daughter Sandra, happiness, LOVE, my blessed life with my family and those who choose to still be friends, my cousin Nathan, knowledge, babies and grandmas, video games, I am thankful for Dr Erica and her calming soothing presence, I am grateful for good health, my wonderful family, I am grateful for my 3 amazing brothers and their wives and children, family makes the sun shine brighter, my daddy, able to live life happily, LIFE, being in my 40s life is good, Sam passed her driver’s test look out Fenton drivers, for my husband’s family, family, I am grateful for my book club, my support group that has supported me and helped me through a time of transition I am now a happier and healthier person, my dad boys sunshine sleep and wine, my 3 sons and husband, for my lovely wife and Cafe of LIFE, family and friends, thankful for my mommy, music, hope, book club, chocolate wine and my Integrity peeps, my beautiful family my health and my friends oh and Cafe of LIFE, abundance, my hubby, my life, gratitude, nice weather, my freedom, people who are positive, sunshine, Obama, family Jesus and friends, I am thankful for LOVE, I’m grateful for my grandma’s cooking, I am thankful for Skype and airplanes!!!, my adjustment today, God’s love, ice cream, book club, cousins, good health, Jesus Christ, family and friends who care, I am thankful for my nieces and nephew, the amazing staff and students at EKLC, chocolate and wine, us, pork chop lamp chop and cupcake, LOVE, I am grateful for the opportunity today to take one step closer to being open to divine light and energy, pets, Erica and Angie, for LIFE, that the cutest little boy I know calls me “mommy”, my children, fresh AIR, the sun shining.”
One of the things that Angie and I noticed the minute we put the tree up is that the mojo in the reception area shifted significantly. When you start putting energy into things you are grateful for, more of that stuff shows up. There is so much to be grateful for. Please take a few moments and recognize something you are grateful for every single day or make your own “Gratitude Tree” at home! Thank you for sharing with us!
THANK YOU
I need to say THANK YOU to all of you. I have made one HUGE transition since the beginning of this year and it is making a world of difference. I finally changed our afternoon hours at the Cafe of LIFE!
Over the past few months, we had numerous requests for our
afternoon hours to begin at 3pm instead of 3:30pm. In combination with that, we were finding that our 6-6:30pm time slot has been quiet and since the time change this past fall, it really felt like we were working super late into the night with how dark it is. So after a couple years of deliberation (this one I have been considering for quite some time) we have made the switch.
And I AM THRILLED!!! I have spent the past 8 years serving others and at times, have made sacrifices in my own life in order to do so. Getting out at 6:30 Monday through Thursday would limit me. Seems so many events, classes, concerts and such that I wanted to attend would start at 7 and be close to an hour away from Fenton (everything seems an hour away from Fenton for some reason). I would have to decline offer after offer over the years. There were classes at the gym that I never could make due to my schedule. Leaving at 6:30 meant that I could pretty much do one thing and then the night would be over and its time for bed.
Some of you may be thinking…its a mere 30 minutes she is talking about here. What is the big deal?
There is a lot that can be done in 30 minutes…a good cardio workout, make a delicious dinner, drive half way to Detroit, drive half way to the Wharton Center, have a meaningful conversation, make a phone call to catch up with a friend, run a 5K, bike one loop around Kensington, drive to Pine Knob Amphitheater, eat dinner at a restaurant, have a glass of wine, drink a glass of champagne, make a few runs on my snowboard at Mt. Holly, sleep…there is a LOT one can do in 30 minutes!
Then multiply that by 4 (days a week that I get out a half hour early) and then multiply that by 50 weeks of work in a year and that turns into 6,000 extra minutes in the evening per year…and there is a WHOLE LOT one can do in 6,000 minutes!!! You get my point. And it is 6,000 minutes more for me and 6,000 minutes more for Angie who, mind you, has a little one to tend to in the evenings.
So I am saying THANK YOU because i haven’t heard one negative comment about us shifting our hours. Thank you for being so understanding. Thank you for allowing me to take back a little portion of my life. Over the past 6 working days, I have had tremendous guilt for leaving a half hour early but I recognize that is all self manifested guilt and that not one person is making me feel that way besides myself. It may take me the next 8 years before I am used to leaving at 6…but I am looking forward to making the most of those 48,000 extra minutes while I am doing it. Thank you!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
I hope this post finds you gearing up to have an amazing 2013. I know I am. It has been a while but I am still here. I have been MIA dealing with some personal stuff. I sometimes find it incredibly therapeutic and other times very difficult to write while processing. This time around it has been very difficult. It isn’t bad stuff by any means, my foundation got completely rocked and it has been emotional. Then add to that the stress of the holidays and to use the word “intense” doesn’t do it justice.
I can finally see the light and each day brings a more and more clearer view of the greatness in the Universe. It is moments like these that I can feel my foundation rebuilding and it is rebuilding in a different way, a different formation, which is a good thing, but it taking time to do so.
I wanted to write to wish you a most glorious New Year! I am grateful to have a clean slate and a brand new year to work with. I have set some intentions and plan to set some more over the next couple weeks. What are your plans? Any big goals you are going for in 2013? What kind of shifts are you making? I would love to hear what is happening if you want to share.
Happy New Year!
ITS THE SIMPLE THINGS
It’s the simple things…It has been an absolutely beautiful day! I got to wake up in the beautiful state of Vermont this morning. I had the most delicious breakfast that the sweetest man made for me. We packed up the car and drove 40 minutes up to the beautiful little town of Stowe, Vermont. There is a beautiful chiropractic practice filled with people here that he has to tend to…I continue on up to the mountain, gear up and am out on the 
slopes by 8:30.
There isn’t a whole lot of natural snow but Stowe Mountain Resort does an amazing job with their man-made snow…and it allows me a chance to strap on my snowboard!!! It is obvious they take a lot of pride in their mountain and the snow conditions they prepare for us to ride on. There are just a couple lifts open and maybe 4-6 runs with snow enough to get on them. The morning is brisk but the sun in shining and the view from the top is absolutely breathtaking. It is in these moments that I am surrounded by so much beauty that I have an overwhelming feeling of being so grateful for my life!
I cruise for a while, getting the most out of each run. I wish I could explain the feeling on a snowboard, for those of you who have never been. It is a controlled slipping and sliding. There is some of it that you can take charge of, however so much is about finding the best line down the run and committing. It isn’t an adrenaline thing for me…for some, I am sure it is. For me, it is about being so present to the conditions, so conscious of the next move that there isn’t time to think about one other thing. It is meditative, freeing and makes me feel so ALIVE!!!
I meet up with a couple new friends and do a few runs with them to finish the morning.
It is lunchtime and in just a short 15 minute drive is that sweetest man that made me breakfast this morning…he will be needing to find lunch as well, so I join him. In this small town of Stowe, there is some really incredible hippie restaurants that are simple and easy. It is quite a common thing to find good quality, healthy food in this area. I LOVE THAT!!! We have great conversation and a huge laugh about a “mullet email” and then he has to head back to serve his people for the afternoon.
I find my way up to a spa. I need to use their facilities in order to clean up and get ready for the rest of the day. It was going to be a $50 entry fee into the spa however they allowed me to use their shower and lounge area for $20. What a treat! I flew late last night after a long, good day of work, got up early this morning, snowboarded hard for a few hours and by this point I am beat and just need some quiet time. It was the most beautiful place and such an awesome way to spend the afternoon. They didn’t skip a beat when it comes to details around that place and I appreciated every bit of it.
My next move was to head back to town and do a little bit of shopping and here I sit in a quaint coffee shop, able to have an extra moment to blog. So far this has been the perfect day!
I am writing out all these details so that you can experience the simplicity of what made my day so wonderful. It truly is the simple things that make this life worth living. It is a smiling face, a breakfast made with love, kisses, hugs, a car ride through the mountains, time on the slopes, beautiful scenery, great food, big laughs, a warm shower in a beautiful place, a quaint little coffee shop, and time to share it all. Life is beautiful, however things are so much sweeter when shared.
THERE IS A FEELING
There is a feeling…an “out over a cliff” feeling. It is uncomfortable and exhilarating all at the same time. It is a really unfamiliar place for me to be in because I usually am not one that “jumps off a cliff” so to speak. I am more of a “let me figure out my footing before I take a step” kind of a person. Although when I need to move on something…you will not find me dragging my feet. I move forward when necessary no matter what it feels like to do so and that uncomfortable feeling soon becomes the new normal.
I love that about life. We get stopped and stay steady in our comfort zone and something or another will inspire us to move forward, we do so, get really uncomfortable and as the days go on,
we contract and then expand to integrate the move and create a new normal. Then we stay steady there for a while, get inspired, move forward, get uncomfortable, contract then expand to integrate and find a new normal again. It is a beautiful process of ebb and flow and such a necessary part in order to really live our life!
Over this past summer, I made my way down to Cedar Point to spend a day riding roller coasters. I love roller coasters…I love the ups and downs and twists and turns. Going up the hill there is the excitement of what it is going to feel like to go down the other side. Then at the top of the hill that feeling builds as the cart travels over the top and heads down. For me, the butterfly feeling as the cart drops down the hill is the best part. In essence, it is the same butterfly feeling when getting involved in a brand new situation or meeting a new person. That feeling is undeniable, intense and sometimes lasts for a few minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months.
For me, this flock of butterflies has been with me for almost 2 straight months now. There was a moment back in October that I knew my life had changed forever. I didn’t know how it would manifest, what it would look like or when, but it had changed. I even announced it to a few friends that were standing around in that moment…and since then, I have had this flock of butterflies with me during my every move.
Its exhausting, and exhilarating, and nerve wrecking, and peaceful, and uncomfortable, and nauseating, and mind-boggling, and insomnia producing, and constructive, and destructive, and makes me happy, and causes massive emotional break-downs. All of this is my body’s way of integrating. An opportunity presents itself, we act on it, get really uncomfortable, contract then expand in order to integrate and find a new normal. I sure hope the new “normal” is on its way really soon! There is a feeling…
GIVE THEM FOOD
Every year at Halloween, I have an internal debate with myself about giving out a bunch of candy. I used to remedy this debate by handing out caramel apples however this year, with the apple crop damage in this state, we were unable to do that. So we decided to do an experiment this time around…and the results were OUTSTANDING!!!
When I went to the store to shop for our trick-or-treaters, I felt a little like a scrooge buying apples, clementines and almonds. I added M&Ms in the mix and so our bowl of treats had quite a variety.
I put about a quarter of the bag of snack size M&Ms in and filled the rest up with the real food; the apples, clementines and almonds. We also gave out glow-in-the-dark bracelets to help them stay safe that evening and a book mark about health.
When the children came in, Angie would ask them to pick something from each bucket (bracelets in one, bookmarks in another, and the food/candy in the last). When they got the bucket with the food/candy, a majority, and when I say the word majority I mean close to 90%, chose FOOD!!! They would say things like “THEY HAVE ALMONDS!!!!”, “APPLES ARE MY FAVORITE!!” or on their way out the door, we could hear them declare “I ABSOLUTELY LOVE CLEMENTINES!!!!”.
It was amazing to see their reaction to what we were serving because I wasn’t sure which way it was going to go. In fact, when I was in the store getting supplies, I even said to the check-out person at Trader Joe’s “I may end up being one of those ‘dreaded’ places for Halloween because I am not giving out much candy, but I am going to give it a try anyway.”
So the outcome of this experiment is GIVE THEM FOOD!!! Kids love food! Real food! Things that grow on trees and in the ground. They loved our treats and were absolutely thrilled to have the options. Why do you think that is? I attribute it to the possibility that kids innately know what is good for them. I wouldn’t say a blanket statement “kids would choose real food over candy any day”, but how about giving them some healthy options on a regular basis. How about rewarding them with a baked apple? …or dried banana chips? …or some trail mix? These choices on a regular basis will make a world of difference in their health in the long run.
IF I CAN, YOU CAN!
I was privileged to be able to start my week listening to a very inspirational man. You may be familiar with Al Serra Auto Plaza in Grand Blanc, but you may not be as familiar with the quality of leadership that runs that place. One of them happens to be my step-dad and the culture that has been created is like no other car company around. Often, for their morning sales meeting, they are thinking outside the box of what you would expect a car sales meeting to be and bringing in some really inspirational people.
This past Monday I had the opportunity to listen to a guy with an incredibly inspirational story. 
Clay Dyer has no legs and no left arm. On his right side he has a small portion of an arm that he uses for everything. He was born this way. When he was a young boy, he developed a passion for fishing and told the story of how he got his first high quality fishing pole. He has a great sense of humor when he tells the story of how at 12 years old he was hounding his father to buy him a $250 fishing rod. His dad thought it was an outrageous price for a fishing pole when Clay chimes in “Well Dad, imagine how much money you have saved over these past 12 years not having to buy me shoes!” …and a professional bass fisherman was born.
His physical limitations are numerous however while listening to him, you can tell he lives in a heart-centered space and trusts the world around him. He lives by the motto “If I can, you can!” and loves to share that message with people all over. At one point he discussed what his normal daily routine consists of. By the end of the sales meeting, it was brought up that if you didn’t have the visual of what Clay looked like and you could only hear his voice, you would never have known he had any physical limitations…because in his mind, he has no limits. Because he sees himself and his life and experiences as such a blessing, he is able to do just about anything he wants to…including 50 push-ups which he did for us while on stage!
I will sometimes catch myself putting unnecessary limits on myself and my life. I think this is maybe a natural part of being human. We are born limitless and then through the years, and for a number of different reasons, we start putting up a box around what we can and cannot do. I think it is interesting, and a good example, that at one point a limit on how fast a human can run one mile. It used to be thought “insurmountable” to run one mile in less than 4 minutes and for decades this limit was true…until someone did it and then a number of people were able to accomplish the same task shortly thereafter.
Since you couldn’t attend the meeting on Monday, I found this great YouTube clip about Clay Dyer so you can experience a little bit of his story. Click HERE to watch…it is worth your 10 minutes, I promise.
“If I can, you can!” is Clay Dyer’s message and coming from him, it is a powerful. When you are in a room listening to all that he has accomplished and what his goals and dreams are in life to still accomplish yet, it raises our own limits a little bit…it breaks us out of the box we have put ourselves in. It gives us permission to live our lives a little bit louder! Now, go and be AWESOME!!!
MUSIC IS MAGIC
Music is magic. Music has a way of facilitating us in opening up certain areas of our being that are closed off. It lifts us up. It has a way of letting light in through the dark cracks and crevices that haven’t seen any light lately. Music helps us move, shift and break free. When the vibrational resonance matches up, it can help us grow and evolve. It has instantaneous effects as well as can start long-term ripples that can reverberate for years. Music takes us back, it moves us forward and can help us to stay in the present. The “remember whens…” and the “what ifs…” and the idea of “be here now…”. It is all of that and so much more. Music is magic.
“These are the days
These are days you’ll remember
Never before and never since, I promise
Will the whole world be warm as this
And as you feel it,
You’ll know it’s true
That you are blessed and lucky
It’s true that you
Are touched by something
That will grow and bloom in you
These are days that you’ll remember
When May is rushing over you
With desire to be part of the miracles
You see in every hour
You’ll know it’s true
That you are blessed and lucky
It’s true that you are touched
By something that will grow and bloom in you
These are days
These are the days you might fill
With laughter until you break
These days you might feel
A shaft of light
Make its way across your face
And when you do
Then you’ll know how it was meant to be
See the signs and know their meaning
It’s true
Then you’ll know how it was meant to be
Hear the signs and know they’re speaking
To you, to you”
I heard this song done acoustic by Natalie Merchant (10,000 Maniacs) last night while driving home from yoga. Powerful. Peaceful. Hopeful. Beautiful. In an instant, my heart cracked wide open…and so I wanted to share some magic.