I hope this message finds you happy and healthy and enjoying your week…and your LIFE!! I was realizing as I was sitting in the car for all those hours that we really do have a lot of power in the intention we set for our own lives. I hope you are making the most of it all!!! As the title of this blog says…we only get one chance.
These words stuck in my head from our briefing after dinner on summit night.
Every evening after dinner, they would come into the mess tent, do our medical examinations and share with us how they thought we were all doing and what will happen the next day, or later that night in this case.
Me (Dr Erica Peabody) Ready for Summit Night
We had 12 guides with our group for our normal day to day and about 50 support staff. The porters were the ones that carried all of our gear, food water and tents and such. Everyday they would pass us on the trail and get to camp ahead of us and have everything set up for us for when we finished our days.
The intensity of summit night required the assistance of our normal 12 guides along with 18 additional porters in order to have one to one support for the final hike to the very top. Having this one to one support for the final summit is the reason this particular company has such high summit success rates.
I woke up nauseated and although I ate a tiny bit of food, I really couldn’t manage to stomach much at 15,000 ft and almost no sleep. So the climb begins at 1am. We line up in our hiking line and start to make our way up the trail. It was the most beautiful night with bright stars in the big African sky.
As we begin to hike, the phrase “DON’T DIE WITH YOUR DAYPACK ON” came back in my mind. What exactly where they talking about? I feel absolutely fine. Were they really serious when they said that? I am surprised they made such a point to make sure that was clear and that if we needed to hand over the load on our backs to a porter, we could easily do that. “I won’t need to do that, I feel super strong.”
An hour goes by and I had already overheated once and had to strip my outer expedition-weight goose down jacket off. The guide warned me to keep it close because I would want it back sooner rather than later. As I thought about it all, it is close to zero degrees and I should not be overheating at this point. Then I got the chills. Then I got goosebumps from head to toe. Then I got hot again and then the chills. What on Earth was my body doing??? It felt as though my body was confused and couldn’t regulate my temperatures.
I felt my stomach start to gurgle (which will be an entirely separate blog post) and just after the first hour I realized I was not going to be able to do this summit with the current situation I had going on. I tried and tried and tried to remain calm and keep pressing on. I tried so hard to the point I got blurred vision and lost all my strength. Unfortunately for me my camelbak water hose froze and I no longer had easy access to hydration.
Me (Dr Erica Peabody) Finishing Kilimanjaro Trek
I fell to the ground. I needed a break and I needed help…and THIS is exactly what they meant when they said “DON’T DIE WITH YOUR DAYPACK ON!” I understand now. Sometimes that extra 10-15 pounds, although comfortable and distributed evenly on my back, was just going to be too much, and for me, it was.
Now let’s back up a minute and discuss this concept. I am not one to ask for help from others. Of course in my office, I cannot do that alone and have hired help. But life in general is manageable and when I focus my mind and efforts on something, I almost always can be able to come out on top. I rarely ask for help, I guess maybe I was raised that way.
There was absolutely no way I could have gone on from that point which is common in those circumstances, hence them having one to one support for that part of the trek.
The greatest thing happened when I fell down. I was in tears and yelled“I NEED HELP!!!!” The next thing I heard was “Erica we got you covered.“ As I lay on the ground, those from the group that hiked past me put out their hands for a high-five and I heard things like “Erica you are my hero.”
I realized in that moment that I wasn’t a hero because I was so strong and powerful, I was a hero in that person’s eyes because I recognized that I needed help and asked for it.
Sometimes our admitting defeat is where we really grow into the person we are supposed to be. Admitting defeat and receiving the help we need is a sign of vulnerability and inside vulnerability is where true power lies.
Turns out that not only did I need my assigned porter to carry my pack, the final 50 steps to the summit, I needed him more than ever. When it got to the very end of the climb, I would take 2 steps and lean over so my chest would lay on the top of my trekking poles and take a few breathes. Then another 2 steps and lean over my poles. You guys, there is a reason NOTHING LIVES THAT HIGH!!! It was so void of oxygen I didn’t know how I was going to do it. My porter took my left arm and put it up over his shoulders. He then took my trekking pole and he took the final 50 steps as the left side of my body (picture the 3 legged race during field day in elementary school).
Even as I write this right now, I get goosebumps from head to toe as I re-live the intensity of that scenario (again, sorry Mom).
“DON’T DIE WITH YOUR DAYPACK ON!!” I get it now and I am so glad that my subconscious took good note of that when it was said that night.
I have made a commitment to blog frequently and I am not sure how it is one month later since my last blog. I am not sure where the time goes. I am not sure what happened to that month…but to say it has been one of the most impact-ful months of my life is a massive understatement.
A month later I look back and cannot believe the trek up MT KILIMANJARO even happened. It feels like it was all just a dream. My life here in this precious little town of Fenton is so vastly different than the 10 days in Africa that it feels like I was swept into someone else’s existence when I went to do that. I am only brought back to my reality when I stand up in the morning and my feet are still screaming “Yup, it was us that did that!!!”
A month later I sit in my office,CAFE OF LIFE CHIROPRACTIC, and am so very grateful for this life I have created and how much of it I have shared along the way. Although sometimes I feel like technology and social media has taken us a step backwards learning how to have human to human interactions, I am so grateful to have been able to share the experience with all of you over FACEBOOK LIVE specifically and of course YOUTUBE as well (<<<—links provided to my Facebook page as well as to the YouTube clip of my video logs along the entire trip).
A month later I am still stopped all over this precious little town so that people can congratulate me on my mission accomplished. I get stopped at the gym, grocery store and absolute strangers continue to walk up to me and introduce themselves. I am so happy I have been able to share far and wide that people have followed the story and lived it with me. When I get stopped people say things like “Hey! You don’t know me but I know that you are Dr. Peabody. I caught wind of your story and have followed your updates along your trip. Thank you so much for sharing that because I don’t ever think i could possibly climb that mountain but I want you to know that because you did that, I have been inspired to take on ____________ challenge.” This is the most incredible part of this trip, just knowing that it has spread and ordinary people like myself are dipping into reserves of strength they didn’t know they had. I FREAKIN’ LOVE THAT!!! I ABSOLUTELY LIVE FOR THAT!!!!
A month later I look back at just how serious the trip was. I haven’t shared yet, but two women in the group ended up getting high altitude sickness. When this happens, the porters put them on piggyback and have to run them down to lower elevation as it can be fatal. When I say piggyback, I mean 2 hour piggyback while the porter is running 4,000ft down the mountain. We had an awesome crew and they were able to recover well however in retrospect I can see why my mother was fearful for her stubborn, strong-willed daughter that decided to climb MT KILIMANJAROin the first place. Sorry Mom, life was waiting for me.
A month later I cannot believe how much richer my life is because I was taught the great lesson of surrender. Surrender to the elements. Surrender to the body. Surrender all thoughts and dreams and aspirations. Surrender to the moment. Surrender to the sensations. Surrender surrender surrender. In the most intense peak moments of this trip, there was nothing I could even think about aside from putting one foot in front of the other and taking one breath in and letting one breath out. I know there were a lot of people pushing for my success but I couldn’t even think about any of it or I would instantly choke up and lose my breath.
And just a month later I can look back and say that was one of the most rich and rewarding experiences of my life and I am so very grateful to have taken the time and done the work to make it all happen. Thank you to each and every one of you for all of your encouraging words and positive energy you sent my way. Many have asked what is next on my list? I am not sure as I am still processing this one a month later.
As I wake this morning, I realize that I have one more sleep at home until I leave for my climb! That is a crazy feeling after planning this trip for almost a year! It seemed like it was never going to come!
When I woke and thought “just one more sleep” I instantly got so nervous, a good kind of nervous.
A short little clip to share with you what’s happening in my mind this day prior to leaving.
I think I am. I know physically I am ready however “ready” will be figured out retrospectively I think. When I am in those moments when I am wondering if I made all the right choices in clothing and whether I have enough of the right things with me to make due and make the trip happen. That will be determined in the exact moments that things are happening.
The question “am I ready?” will have to be truthfully answered on the other side of the trip because I think I am ready but I have never been involved in doing anything like this.
I receive many emails. About once or twice a month I get emails that sound exactly like this. This exchange is copied and pasted from my inbox…
“I have been dying to ask your motivation behind your “living” Has this always been your life or was there a catalyst? I recognize the journey and enthusiasm and I am wondering if I can ask your reason? Would you mind sharing?”
My response: “There was no catalyst, just realizing that more and more of life slips by fast and faster…I have always lived like this just have taken it to a whole new level recently for no other reason than life is slipping by. Many have written me asking if I am sick or have some sort of terminal diagnosis (and I don’t) but more than anything is my desire to help inspire others to take action in their lives.”
These emails come in regularly and so I thought I would just share in a bigger way than I have before.
As most of you reading already know, I am taking on MT KILIMANJARO in just under 2 months. No I do not really run a true “bucket list” because I don’t want to do things because I will be dying someday. I take on these adventures because I want to TRULY LIVE this life that I have been given!
When I wake up in the mornings, I start with gratitude. I am so grateful for another day and I go about getting up and around and making things happen. And then I do the same thing the next day and the next day and the next day. This can get mundane and monotonous however I also plan on life mostly being mundane and monotonous and by default it will stay that way. Most people experience this. I think real joy is found in the mundane and monotony of the everyday. When we can learn to enjoy the mundane and monotony of the day to day, happiness is truly lived because lets face it, life is not one crazy adventure and vacation to the next. We live mostly in the in between.
I am a rather simple gal at my core. I love my life, I love my job, I love my family and I love my friends. I like to have nice things but I usually try to go about obtaining them through shopping the “sale” racks. I am always prudent with my next steps and am ultra responsible. In all of that, I do my best to say “YES” to invitations that are thrown my way. Many times I do not know what I am getting into but I choose to stir up all the courage inside of me and step forward. I have learned that over and over and over again, LIFE has my back. And even when stakes are high and probability is down, I choose to step forward anyway and just see what turns up.
I have fallen many, many times, more times than I like to admit or own up to (and for the sake of this blog, I have maybe not shared as much of that as I should) but what do they say? “Fall 17 times, get up 18!’ and I try to live by that. Just get up and step forward and see just what appears under your foot.
So I am taking on MT KiLIMANJARO in the beginning of March. The highest altitude I have been is around 14,000 ft above sea level, “KILI”, as it has been nicknamed, stands at 19,000 ft. That is HIGH!!!! SUPER HIGH!!!
Some of you know about my heart condition, some of you don’t. The hole between the top 2 chambers of the heart that is there in utero never closed for me. What does that mean? It means that a portion of my blood skips the trek through the lungs and doesn’t get oxygenated. It is an issue in my day to day and a bigger issue when I am working out and I manage it by staying super healthy and strong. Will it be a problem at altitude? Quite possibly however 10% of the population has this defect and many don’t even know about it and I am trusting that a few of those 10% that have no idea they have it have done KILIMANJARO or something even more intense and succeeded. I am trusting that LIFE has my back on this one.
But who really knows? There is absolutely no way for me to know if I am going to succeed at climbing to 19,000 ft or not. The only real way to know is to train as hard as I can and then show up and give it my all and see what happens. All that I have read so far is that this trek is treacherous and daunting and a good portion of it is, what my brother refers to as, a “nose down suffer-fest“. He hasn’t done Kili, he has done way more intense trips than that and is partially my guide, trainer and inspiration.
I am so curious if summit is possible for me, way too curious to do anything else but get over there and give it a whirl! It sounds extravagant to be doing something so intense. I plan to share the entire story with you so that you may have an idea of what something like that is like. I also hope that in this process you realize that there may be something in your mind and in your heart that you want to take on and that waking up day in and day out without taking on the challenges just isn’t living enough for you.
It will take us 6 day to summit and then 2 days to descend. In my mind I am preparing for just keeping one foot progressing in front of the other and see what happens. If I took that last step, I can probably take this next step. If I can take the next step, I bet I can take the next one too. If I can string a bunch of those small wins together over and over and over again, I can make it to the top I just know I can. When I picture this process, I get choked up as I know it is going to take every single bit of willpower that I have to make it happen. I am a natural athlete but I have physical restrictions that have deterred me from doing anything too extreme. This will be a test of just how far I can go.
For my 30th year, I ran a full marathon. At this point, I do not see a future of taking on any kind of extreme challenges beyond KILIMANJARO. That will be plenty and such an awesome way to cap my 40th year on the planet and shift into seeing where life takes my next 10.
As I started this post, I get many emails all the time asking why and how and what makes me do these things. Just LIFE…just simply and purely the desire to really live this life fully.
“That is a CRAZY IDEA but I LOVE IT!!!” was my response when a patient invited me to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro.
Yes you heard that right, MT KILIMANJARO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The invite came last April 2016 and I am pretty sure both of us suspected something would stop us in our tracks prior to making this happen…but it hasn’t. And so WE WILL!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
In March of 2015, this beautiful woman named Kelly started chiropractic care in my office, Cafe of LIFE. She is just a year older than me and had gotten a cancer diagnosis just a couple weeks prior to starting care. I was in shock and awe that she could have such a bright, shiny composure with so many unknowns ahead. If I remember correctly she already had a huge scar from one biopsy they had done the week prior. Kelly was bright and energetic and positive and she had made the connection that chiropractic is going to help her body process everything that is ahead of her. And it did just that.
She made all kinds of lifestyle shifts as well as underwent heavy chemo and radiation treatments and kept with her chiropractic care all along the way. Because she was so regular with her care, I was able to follow her step by step through all of the radical changes that those heavy drugs had on her body. I have worked with many cancer patients over the years however none so vulnerable to share every little detail. Of course I learned a lot about the cancer going through school but experiencing it with her, from the patient’s perspective, was eye-opening.
And through it all, we became friends.
She did the entire treatment process quite gracefully and came out on top! She has been clear for a while and one day back in April of 2016 I got added to an email thread she started with a list of other great female friends of hers, that invited us to climb MT KILIMANJARO.
Let me just start by saying that I was ABSOLUTELY HONORED to be included in thread along with her close friends. My stomach sank at the possibility of taking on the challenge and my head started spinning with excitement as I really pondered what it would be like!
We started a conversation that went on for about 6 months while she waited for her final scans and clearance from her doctor. In October, we pulled the trigger on putting a deposit down to hold our place with the adventure company. We continued conversations trying to digest this whole idea and the first week of January we purchased our airline tickets.
Now life is officially in “CHECKMATE” status and this is happening.
There are bits and pieces of logistics to figure out and each day one more thing comes together.
I will continue this blog as I progress through all the details and training and of course share the entire journey with all of you. Please stay tuned right here as Kelly and I make our progress.
There is a song that runs through my mind lately, mostly because I have heard it so much on my Rusted Root Pandora Station (a highly recommended station, by the way), but also because after I hear it, my mind ponders the message for quite some time. It goes something like this…
“You can’t always get what you want. You can’t always get what you want. You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometime…you just might find… YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED!”
I have had some very interesting life lessons over the past years, as I am sure we all have. I have a strong conviction that although we are presented with most things that are WAY outside our control, by the use of gratitude and a strong focus on what we want, we are powerful creators of our lives and experiences. I also realize that sometimes the things that we think we want in our lives or experiences that we want to have happen, are very limiting in the grand scheme of things. There is a much bigger picture to this life than what we can actually see and grasp with our thoughts.
Have you ever sat down and wrote out goals? made a “to do” list? Have you ever thought about what you would like to have happen in 5 years? 10 years? Have you ever quieted down your life enough and heard things come from inside that sounded like “I want a new job.” “I want to make more money.” “I want to be in a relationship.” “I want to be in a different relationship.” “I want a new house.” “I want a new car.” “I want to win the Mega-Millions.” Does any of that sound familiar?
What LIFE has taught me is that what we call our “wants” are very limiting. If ALL and ONLY our wants came to fruition, we would live a small life. Now, when I say small, I don’t mean that in a negative way, more the idea that it would be limiting, like looking over a lake and seeing that as the only possibility of a large body of water without having any concept of the ocean.
Having a direction and steering life with GRATITUDE can open up limitless possibilities. Our “wants” are one thing…but what happens if you don’t get what you “want”? I have a strong faith in the concept that LIFE sends the perfect people, things and experiences to us in the perfect timing in order for us to maximize our potential for learning, growth and evolution. In the moment, it may be very difficult to see the perfection…but most of you have probably experienced that in retrospect it was exactly what you needed. So in other words it is true that…”YOU CAN”T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU…but you just might find YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED!” Be open to the amazing twists and turns of LIFE, take some risks and get outside of your box of “wants”…we only get one chance.
Last night I bought a wimpy Christmas tree. I say wimpy because it is only an 7 foot tree and looks so small. Over the last few years, I have been used to my 20+ foot ceilings and I would get 10+ foot trees because I had just the perfect spot. This year I am back to standard 8 foot ceilings and that is very limiting outside of cutting a hole in the ceiling. One of our favorite couples came into the Cafe this morning and I got laughing so hard as I was reminded me of a Christmas tree incident that happened last year. It goes something like this…
I cannot remember exactly what the evening consisted of, however I know that there was some sort of drama involved that left me feeling a little “run over”. I remember pulling into my garage after midnight with a distressed feeling and ready to go to bed and start the next day new. I walked into my house, set my keys down, kicked off my shoes and was heading upstairs when I noticed that my 12 foot Christmas tree had taken a tumble and many ornaments were smashed on the floor. “Where is that dog?!?!” …oh, right, he is still in his kennel being a good boy. There weren’t any earthquakes so the only one I could blame it on was the little physics wizard inside of me that was on vacation when I put it into the tree stand…apparently off balance. Then my inner comedian chimed in with “If a 12 foot Christmas tree falls in a living room and no one is around, does it make a sound?”
I quickly accepted the destruction and decided since it was already after midnight and nobody is around to help…this is the PERFECT time to remedy the situation. So with one big heave, I was able to get it mostly upright…well upright as long as I was holding it there…but if I was holding it, who is going to re-do the screws in the tree stand so that it won’t tip over again????? BRILLIANT ERICA!!!! Your SUPERWOMAN complex is really getting you into trouble this time around!!! So next decision to make was… 1. Let the tree fall again and go out on a limb and ask for help tomorrow, or… 2. Be grateful for long arms and find some of that SUPERHERO strength and somehow make it happen. Let’s put it this way…you all know which one I chose (I mean really, if you have been following this blog at all, you know me quite well), I dove in waist deep in pine needles, it was a dumb idea, and I was sore for days!!! …and if you do know me, I am sure you can get the visual and have probably let out a chuckle and the ridiculous-ness.
Moral of the story…if you are one person, don’t try to do a two-person job! Learn to ask for help when it is appropriate because helping others is human nature and if you ask, I can guarantee someone will step in and be glad to. Running my chiropractic office, I have people coming in all the time because they tried to do a two-person job on their own. Learn from my mistakes…or just buy smaller Christmas trees!!! ‘Tis the Season!!!
It was just over a week ago that i brought a friend to yoga class with me. He had never done yoga and going to the studio for the first time can create a little bit of anxiety not knowing what to expect. The class was amazing as usual and he did great. At the end of the evening I told him I was glad he was game for attending that class…and his response “I am up for just about anything as long as it doesn’t leave a permanent scar, I don’t have to get a tetanus shot and it doesn’t ruin my credit”.
Initially I laughed pretty hard…but since then I have been pondering how much power is behind those simple words. Life is all about having experiences, relating to others and learning…and that particular statement is all encompassing. How many times have you found yourself bowing out of something because “Its too cold”, “Its too hot”, “Its too hard”, “Its too early”, “Its too uncomfortable”, “I don’t have time”, “I’m too tired”, “I’m not strong enough”, “I have too much to do”. We make those excuses time after time and we watch life fly by and really miss out on some pretty great things.
I do my best to life my life in a way that puts me in places to have rich, rewarding experiences. Sometimes it is intimidating to enter into some of those situations I have no idea about and do something for the first time. Generally I have found that the more nervous I am about something, the more amazing I feel when I am finished. So instead of placing too many restrictions and being a fair-weather participant…how about creating a couple simple restrictions of your own, or adopting those three simple ones…doesn’t leave a permanent scar, no tetanus shot and doesn’t ruin your credit. Life becomes really, really exciting when you live like that and you will find yourself doing things you never even knew were on the menu…at least that is what I have found so far. We only get one chance…let’s make it to the end with no regrets!
Timing is everything! If you were to ask my Mom, she would say that I am not and have never been the most patient person. I am not one that needs to have things “RIGHT NOW” but I am one that if I get something on my mind, it needs to happen in the “VERY NEAR FUTURE”. I used to always say that once I have kids, I will learn patience. Of course I haven’t had that opportunity yet and so Life is teaching me lessons using other medium and boy they have been some real stingers lately.
Life always has it’s ups and downs and I have learned to roll with the tide. I have come to realize that there is a plan out there that is WAY bigger than me and if I can just surrender to whatever that is, life is simpler and easier than trying to push and make things happen. I have learned this is a lot of different ways however I have to credit my yoga practice with teaching me so much about how to manage and gracefully handle the waves in life. I am still human though and when I know that something is happening in life that is super exciting, I have a hard time not wanting to get to the exciting point as quickly as possible. This lesson has come up pretty strong this summer in two different ways, and in retrospect, it is so clear to see why and how it is all going to work out and for that, I am so grateful!
The past week/weekend was really incredible. I have sat back and watched a couple really amazing things happen. I have been involved in the purchase of a short sale home since early May. It is a great little home in a great little spot and I was super excited to transition out of my condo and into a “Big Girl Home” as one of my friends referred to it. It has been a long 3 months with people continuously asking me when I am going to close with my answer always being “I don’t have a date confirmed but I am supposed to close on or before July 31st”. So with this past weekend approaching, my realtor and I put an extension on the contract. That very afternoon, just a short 5 hours after signing the extension, another house came up on the market and through a chain of communication I ended up seeing it the next morning and putting an offer on it that was accepted that evening and I will close within 30 days! The lesson in patience was reinforced for me in a really powerful way. “Good things come to those who wait”…I get it now.
The second lesson in patience this summer is private and really near and dear to my heart. It has been guiding me through a beautiful lesson is patience and timing and it is a slow process. This is something I will report back about further down the road.
We have one chance to live this life and sometimes our thoughts and desires are the limiting factor in us experiencing our greatest life possible. There is a plan out there, a much larger plan and no way for us to really predict how it is all going to turn out. I have found that the very best thing I can do is stay present, stay calm, enjoy the people and experiences I have in my life and just keep putting one foot in front of the other, or (I love swimming) taking one stroke at a time as we navigate this sea of life. Timing is everything.
