cafe of life – Page 2 – We Only Get One Chance

IN THE GENES

The real question these days is “Is it in the genes?”

Let me share a little story with you.

I should have gotten a picture of my new cousin and I together but I guess me “being a chiropractor” is the best I could do for this post. 🙂

In March I get a lengthy text message from my mom. It read something like this: “I wanted to share with you that the family found another cousin. Your cousin, Rayce, called the other day and it appears that after he did ancestry.com, that there is a first cousin that he didn’t know about, and none of us knew about.”

So let me start this story. I come from 2 HUGE Catholic families that were both raised on Foley Rd, maybe 4 miles south of downtown Fenton. It was a wonderful spot to grow up.

My Mom is one of 10 kids and she has 7 step-siblings as well. My Dad is one of 9 kids. One grandma was the matriarch of 93 people when she passed and the other was matriarch of 67 people. These numbers included children, their spouses and ex-spouses, grandchildren, great grands and great greats.

HUGE families.

I have close to 60 first cousins and with both of the families living so close to each other, I actually know them all pretty well. The years have made some separation, naturally, but for the most part, I know them because we were raised together.

So when this conversation started back in March, all of us were a little dumb-founded that it was even happening. It is funny to me because as I share this story, there are more families than we really realize that have a similar story, the world is a pretty cool place.

So this cousin’s name is Scott and he is just over 50 years old. But get this, HE IS A CHIROPRACTOR!!!! We have 4 chiropractors in my family already and to have this guy be out in the world, unbeknownst to us, and be another chiropractor is so freakin’ cool! He has been engaged to a woman for a few years and her son just finished CHIROPRACTIC COLLEGE TOO!!! This makes number 5 and number 6 chiropractors in my family! Actually Dr. Scott would have been number 4 chiropractor and then I would have been 5 and then his son, Austin, makes number 6!!!

Dr Erica Peabody - Best Chiropractor Fenton Michigan - In the Genes

I’m still floored by the entire thing and I also think it is one of the coolest things ever!

Unfortunately, my uncle Jeff, Dr. Scott’s biological father, passed back in December of last year. Fortunately, the entire family was going to be present for Jeff’s memorial service that had been planned for months and now Dr Scott and his family were going to join us for that celebration of life and a family reunion.

So imagine if you were adopted and had no connection or knowing of your biological family, and then you found out about them and then it just so happens the number of people you just found extended over 100 people (there have been a few more additions to the family since my grandmother passed), it would take a certain personality to be able to handle that kind of transition.

The reunion and memorial service were just 3 weeks ago and what a blast! We all have our family “things” and hang-ups around certain scenarios but it was SO MUCH FUN to welcome in yet another family member, his 4 kids and his fiance and her 2 kids and grandchildren.

What a crazy and fun world!!

So it does boil down to the final question which I started with, “Is it in the genes?” This chiropractic thing, it just has to be in the genes.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG BLUE

June 14, 2019 marks one year. Happy Birthday Big Blue!!!
The first look at the insides of this beautiful building, I had no real idea that it would come this far.
I saw the listing come up on www.Zillow.com and sent it on to my realtor to see if I could get a look at it. My Mom and I met the realtor here for the initial walk-through and truly we were “just going to look, we had always wanted to see the inside anyway.” We were pretty convinced that the place would smell strange and/or be unrecoverable and not even an option before going in.
Halfway through the initial visit, my mom and I looked at each other in almost the exact same moment and said “WOW!!! This place is amazing and the main floor is set up already for us. This just might work!”
Fast forward 4 months of day in and day out due diligence; all the things the bank wanted, the inspections, the tests, the surveys, the walk-throughs, the research, all the things and it was finally closing time.
I was nervous because of what was ahead of me but I was also pretty confident because there was so much working in my favor and so, so, so many things that easily fell into place along the way. It was just meant to be.
From June 14, we needed to wait about 30 days to get keys. This building was an assisted living location since the 1960s and they needed some time to relocate the residents. To be honest with you, I am pretty confident that any place they were relocated to would have been a better fit than this and along the past year, as I hear stories, I am confident they are all better off where they ended up.
As we progressed into the summertime last year we got keys in the middle of July and I actually moved myself in while I was waiting for my new home to be completed.
That was supposed to be until October.
9 months later I got certificate of occupancy at the new house and moved out of Big Blue.
But in all actuality it was a blessing for sure. A blessing that I had a super cool place to stay. A blessing that I got a chance to really get to know Big Blue and all of her quirks. A blessing as through the last winter, with those incredibly frigid temperatures, I was able to just walk downstairs to go to work rather than have to be outside and face the elements. I never dreamed I would get a chance to “work from home” but it was a treat.
Our master plan was to get some of the 17 bedrooms open by this spring and rented as office space.
We are past spring.
But inside of this past year you probably also know we planned an executed a wedding and I became bonus mom to triplet teenagers.
What you probably don’t know is that we also had to fire the builder back in October for unbelievable negligence and take over finishing the very complicated new house build ourselves.
To say it has been a year, is an absolute understatement. I am not even sure how we survived it. Some of my phone conversations to my Mom would have her stop me mid sentence and say “How are you even doing all of this?”
I don’t know Mom. I don’t know. I just get up everyday and, because I am excited and passionate about what I am doing and where I am heading, I just do what needs to be done and keep working on all the “to-do” list stuff I can and then rinse and repeat the next day. When we got to move the Cafe pf LIFE Chiropractic office over in September last year, my incredible office manager, Nikki and I would wander around the place on the very first day like it was our home forever. It feels like home here, it really does and has since day 1.

So today, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG BLUE!!!

It Is What It Is

It is what it is.

Have you listened around in your life and realized just how many times you hear this phrase? Anyone hear this phrase daily? Do you notice your coworkers, family and even strangers saying this phrase?

If you haven’t noticed already, you will now. You’re welcome. 😉

This phrase is 2-fold for me. “It is what it is” can clearly mean that there is absolutely nothing you can do in this moment except to just accept the truth and reality of the moment. “It is what it is” can also mean that the only thing TO DO is to just let it go…and honestly that is one of the healthiest things that we can do inside of our life at times, LET THINGS GO!!!

“It is what it is” inside of the work place or dealing with traffic during your commute (and I know a lot of local people that are dealing with commuter stress of an additional half hour to hour in the car one way) can be beyond frustrating. This can mean a few things: look for a new job, find joy inside of a job that you didn’t think there was any, change your feeling about your current job as a “stepping stone” rather than a forever place, or find a way to be productive (listen to audio books or podcasts) during your commute. “It is what it is” can feel very dis-empowering and at the same time, awareness that change is needed.

It can also be very empowering! “It is what it is” is an avenue for letting go of things we should let go of anyway. I was listening to a podcast the other day and someone was saying

“Remember that thing this time last year that you lost weeks of sleep over?” “Yes, I remember.” “Well how did it work out?” “It worked out way better than I could have ever imagined.” “Well let’s not worry ourselves into endless sleepless nights over things. They will always work out.”

Inside of our health, “It is what it is.” is incredibly dis-empowering and in a way our culture and the media has led us to believe this. Even though it may seem true, we are NOT victims of our genes. Yes, there are times when genes play a role, but those are minimal and genes expression is controlled by the environment that is mostly created by us individually.

Every single choice you make of what to put into your mouth, every choice you make about how to move your body, what to do with your free time, how to handle the inevitable stress in your life is what determines how your body will be respond. If we put an apple or a cookie in our mouths, it matters. If we get outside for a walk or sit in front of a screen somewhere, it matters. If we get enough rest at night or choose to burn the candle at both ends, it matters. Our current state of health “is what it is” because of US!!!! The the greatest thing about that is we can make different choices.

Inside of relationships “It is what it is” is borderline unacceptable. If you wander around in your daily life, you may notice a few couples and families that just seem to have a zest for life and what they are doing, together and as individuals, and others that seem to live in chronic unhappiness. “It is what it is” is no way to be inside a lifetime but here is the super cool thing! I am no relationship expert (you can say that again), but it is a choice!

It is a choice to put a smile on your face and start the day like that, or put a frown on your face and project that on to your nearest and dearest. Life is not all rainbows and butterflies but I heard the following brilliant statement just earlier today that “Your face is your fault!” meaning that your smiling face or your pouting face is your own fault. I LOVE THAT!!! If you are around Mike and I at all, you will probably hear “Are you happy? THEN TELL YOUR FACE!!!” It is mostly a joke and is always followed by laughter, which is the whole point.

So all this “It is what it is” business is because my intention has been to write and blog and share all along the way, but it has been MONTHS that I haven’t said a thing on here…and “It is what it is.” And now I will make a better choice. Stay tuned!!!

HITTING SINGLES

Sometimes my future husband is absolutely brilliant. The conversation ended with “…we have to just keep hitting singles. You cannot put the bat down now.”

LIFE!!!!!! Seriously Universe! I am ready for a little less spice and a little more bored please!!!

Best Chiropractor Fenton Michigan - Dr Erica Peabody - Hitting Singles

As most of you know, I have been working on building a house for the past almost 3 years. I was told “start to finish, this project of building a house is about 9 months.” “AWESOME!!! Sign me up!!!” was my response.

It has been 34 months, turning the corner on 35 months here in a couple days. It has been one thing after the next after the next after the next. It has been one delay after the next after the next after the next.

Frustration doesn’t even begin to explain any of it, that is just a tip of the iceberg of emotions. The great thing is I have Mike and he is an exceptional project manager. Between he and I, we have it handled. But timing of one contractor depends on timing of another and the facts we get at one point do not match facts we get a couple weeks later.

We are very close, within just a few days in fact. I am so very grateful for that.

So when I am overwhelmed with the wedding approaching and still not being in the house, tears stream down my face on a regular basis. It is all okay and really great stuff that is happening, but happening all at one time is the real challenge. Mike tries to settle the tears and that is when he says “We just have to keep hitting singles, you cannot put the bat down now.”

No truer words have ever been spoken and then I looked out into life and just how applicable that is to ALL of life. I was just talking to a patient today that mentioned she started working out every morning for the past month and she is getting up earlier than usual to get 45 minutes in every single morning. I said “45 minutes is a big commitment, and although amazing if you can keep up the stamina, just know that if there is a morning that you can’t do 45 full minutes, do at least 20 minutes.” 45 minutes of daily exercise would be a home run every single day and the 20 minutes would be like hitting a single. We need to hit singles but we need to hit them every single day.

Hitting single after single after single is how you get something done and move forward in life. Think about getting a college degree…that is literally taking a few classes at a time. Want a college degree? Plan on continually hitting singles for 4+ years. Want to build a business? Same thing. Build a family? Same thing. Hit singles.

For whatever reason, life in this country and our culture/mindset is all about instant gratification and desire to HIT IT BIG the first time. There is a constant feeling, driven a lot by social media, that everyone has hit home runs…but the challenge is that many people that appear to be at “home run” status, those that seem to be wildly successful, have been working behind the scenes hitting singles – FOR YEARS!!!! YEARS AND YEARS!!!You just see the end product!

Best Chiropractor Fenton Michigan - Hitting Singles - Dr Erica Peabody

Patience is a lost virtue these days. As I just looked that concept up, it also says that patience can be synonymous with “courage”. I think that is an interesting synonym: courage to pursue whatever it is in the first place, courage to commit to the process, courage to get up and start again after falling down time after time after time, courage to keep going when it seems impossible and navigate the bumps in the road, courage to find a different path if it is just not working for you. Patience = Courage …I really love that.

I am giving the BIGGEST SHOUT OUT to my future husband that is one of the only people that gets to see the true stumbling that I do through life, boosts me back up, helps me change my perspective on a minute to minute basis and reminds me that all we have to do is keep “HITTING SINGLES”. You are my dream man for so many reasons, you know that right? <3

50 YEARS

When Mike and I first started to spend time together, we talked about what life would maybe look like in the future. He mentioned maybe like 40 years from now? I told him that is ABSOLUTE BS to bow out of here 40 years from now and that I was requiring 50 years!!

We would stay up really late at night and recall the day that just passed and the time spent together. We would ask each other 50 year questions that sounded like this…

“Do you think you could handle me rubbing your back like this for 50 years?”

“Do you think you can keep rubbing my back for 50 years?”

“If we laughed like we did today, do you think we could make that kind of laughter last for 50 years?”

“Will you always help me with my leg, even if I have to wear this stupid boot for 50 years?”

“Will you be this kind to me for 50 years?”

“Do you think it is possible to maintain this sweet, sincere and innocent connection we have for 50 years?”

“Will you want to talk to me and share stories for 50 years?”

“Will you be able to manage me and the way I am inside of the world for 50 years?”

“Can you handle being in tight and close connection with my family for 50 years?”

“Will you want to go on adventures and make that last for 50 years?”

“Will you always kiss and hug me like you do right now? Do you think that can last for 50 years?”

“Will you be able to laugh at my jokes for 50 years?”

“Will you stay this supportive in and around my life for 50 years?”

“Do you think you can manage me helping in your life for 50 years?”

The 50 years questions go on and on and on, even to this day. It is silly things and serious things and everything in between.

But to each and every one of those questions and so many more we both answer “YES!!!!!”

Last night, at my family’s old orchard setting turned Peabody Ice Climbing central, in front of 150 people, many family members and apparently they were all in on it unbeknownst to me, he stole the microphone he asked me to marry him.

“YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” was my answer.

…and so the story begins.

I am in tears and at a complete loss of words on how to really share this story at this point and all that has gone on since Mike and I met. I have rarely mentioned a man during any of my writings over the years because it just wasn’t quite right.

This is different.

This is right.

Here’s to 50 years!!!

Type 2

This morning I was reminded about Type 2 fun.

Have you heard of Type 1 and Type 2 kind of fun?

So here is the deal. Type 1 fun is something you do that is super fun to be doing. It is fun, brings a lot of joy, usually a lot of laughter and lots of good feelings. An example would be going to a carnival where there are lots of people having lots of fun, smiles around every corner, giggles and laughter and rides and treats and good feelings. It is very clear that you are having fun as well as anyone with you is also clearly having fun.

Type 2 kind of fun is something totally and completely different than that, yet still considered fun. Type 2 fun is work, usually really hard work. It is grinding away at a goal or mission for the sake of the accomplishment. During the activity, there is usually a lot less of what people would consider actual fun. It can be treacherous, hard, miserable, painful, all kinds of unpleasant experiences can happen during Type 2 kind of fun. Exercise is often Type 2 fun.

The yoga classes that I attend are Type 2 kind of fun. Often it is not fun during the process. It is treacherous, hard, moments of absolute misery, pain and very very unpleasant. One of my instructors thinks you should “do something every single day that makes you nauseated because it’s so hard” and that “every yoga class should be a near death experience,” and he doesn’t back down However, big rewards happen because of attending class that drives us to come back for more and more and more.

“That was awful. I hate this place. I’ll be back tomorrow.” -a common thought in a yogi’s mind after finishing a class.

If you have been following this blog or my journey in life, I would give you one wild guess as to the most intense Type 2 kind of fun I have had recently, or actually ever.

The trek up Mt. Kilimanjaro was Type 2 kind of fun. Training was Type 2 fun. Moments of connecting with the rest of the group and going through our days were quite pleasant but the overall trip was so freakin’ intense!

I remember the first day, we all stopped and were taking a little snack and “bathroom” break about 4 hours in and I was standing with a group of about 5 women. One asked “how are you?” The response of the first one she asked was “I’m doing well. I’m making it.” It was asked again and a real similar response to the first.

Then that “how are you?” question got directed at me.

My answer, “I am absolutely miserable. My right shoulder feels like there is a knife stabbing into it and it is progressively getting worse. My feet are the most painful I can ever remember them being and I am hot and sweaty and sticky. NONE OF THIS IS OKAY AND I AM NOT GOING TO PRETEND IT IS!”…and then I started crying.

Of course this was only 4 hours into the first day so I wasn’t going to sob in front of these women I just met but I was an absolute wreck inside.

I had no idea that I would come to a moment similar to that on each one of the next 7 days. This was not fun. In fact there were moments during the trip that I thought to myself “if I am off of work right now, I would much prefer to be doing a fraction of the amount of work I am currently doing. I work so hard all year I could use these next few days and just chill out, why am I even here????”

Commitment to this trip for myself and all of you following the journey kept me in high enough spirits to get through these daily meltdowns.

The good thing about Type 2 fun is it has HUGE PAY-OFFS and I mean HUGE!!! …the real trick is that the fun shows up between 2-4 weeks after the fact BUT then that lasts for a lifetime. Type 1 fun is fun in the moment, but aside from a few incredible memories made within a lifetime, Type 1 fun, although super duper fun, is short-lived.

WHOA Travel, the adventure company that I traveled with for the Kilimanjaro trip, just sumitted their next group on the Solstice last week. I watched their progress through facebook and Instagram and had a chance to relive it a little bit. In fact, I felt nervous for them as though I was trekking that whole path again.

Many have asked me if I have a desire to go back and do it again. Remember what I just said, Type 2 fun shows up a few weeks later…and lasts a LIFETIME!!! If the stars align and something like that trek shows up in my life again, I am the type that will figure out a way to say “yes” if I can. However more than anything else, I am hoping stars are aligning for me in other big ways in my life at this point as I pursue both Type 1 and Type 2 fun.

SURRENDER

Many things have crossed my mind over the past 3 months, many, many, many life lessons learned and one of the greatest has been SURRENDER.

In the 10 days that we were on Mt. Kilimanjaro and and traveling to and from Africa, I counted somewhere around a total of 24 hours of sleep. Once I was on the mountain, I averaged around 3 hours of sleep per night.

The dayss would look like this:

The team would come to each tent and wake us up at 6:30am.
We would make it to breakfast at 7 and on the trail around 8.
We would hike for 3-4 hours and stop for lunch. We would hike another 3-4 hours to the next camp so our days were around 6-8 hours of total hiking time.
We would get settled in and they would call us for dinner around 6:30-7pm.
We would get our briefing for the following day, turn our water bladders for our camelbaks in and head back to our tents around 8-8:30.

At this point we were free to go to sleep and that would have been AWESOME if I would have been able to. There is this thing called “high altitude insomnia”. It happens because the heart is beating faster than usual, like it does for exercise, because there is less oxygen. My my mind thought my body was still working out and it is very hard to sleep with my body in that mode.

My usual is I would finally find sleep around 11ish and sleep for about 3 hours and then be up for the rest of the night. This happened every single night. I would lay there frustrated because I knew every minute I wasn’t sleeping was also a minute my body wasn’t truly resting and recuperating from the intense day before and not really able to prepare for the next intense day ahead.

When the team would come by the tent at 6:30am to wake us up again, I would be so beside myself with frustration.

I would get my stuff packed up anyway. I would strap my boots on and get my backpack ready, grab my water and be ready for breakfast no matter what. In the back of my mind I would think to myself, “maybe later tonight I will be able to finally sleep”.

The thing is, I felt miserable inside in those moments. But there are 30 other women maybe feeling just the same or having some other experience just as miserable. It didn’t do me any good to complain to anyone. I would get in this mode of I need to do what needs to be done right now, which was strap my boots on and prepare for the day ahead. Even though it would have felt good to at least express my stress and frustration to the staff, that didn’t matter either because the trail heads in one direction, it isn’t an “out and back”. We start on one trail and continue to another one for the descent. Forward momentum is vital.

It didn’t matter how much I slept that night, or the night before, or the previous 6 nights. It didn’t matter how sore I was, how foggy my head was, nothing mattered but forward momentum and so I knew I better get started.

Endurance, the whole “put your big girl panties on and step forward“ness of this trip was such a powerful lesson in surrender. I had many logical reasons to resist what was happening and most people in that position would have similar self-talk going on about the whole scenario. But pure surrender, strapping on my boots and getting after the task at hand for that day was my only option. There was no turning around, no turning back and only one way to move. FORWARD!

When I equate this to things in my life back home, I see how this lesson has served me so well in the past few months. I have a different view on life. I have spent a lot of my years paddling upstream. I have spent so much time and effort pushing against the current going in the other direction. The past three months I have spent more time setting down my oars, surrendering and allowing myself to be pushed in the direction that life is trying to naturally take me anyway.

I have always had high and lofty goals for my life and I always will. Though I have goals and the “WHAT” I want to accomplish figured out, I don’t have to be so wrapped up in trying to control the “HOW” it all happens. I set some really powerful intentions at the beginning of April this year and life has unfolded more beautifully than I could have ever imagined. I am in shock and awe sometimes knowing that the most powerful move I can make is keep surrendering my own plan for the bigger plan of the Universe.

Maybe surrender in your mind means “to give up”, “to give in” an “to stop progress”. To me, it means to “let go and let God”. It also means to set the goals you want to achieve but surrender to the process of how it all unfolds. Our thoughts about how we want things to be or how we want them to look is usually a limited view of what is really possible. I have been taught this lesson over and over and over.

My action of surrender in the mornings on Mt. Kilimanjaro was the moment I strapped my boots on. From that point I would stand up from the tent, put my arms through the straps of my backpack, embrace the unknown for the day ahead (have no idea exactly what the day would hold, which direction we were going or how long it would take) and start stepping one foot in front of the other.

“Surrender isn’t about being passive, it is about being open.” -Danielle LaPorte

For 8 solid days, this strategy worked and I realized it would work for my life when I got home as well “Have a goal and a destination ahead, surrender to the process of the steps in getting there.” Yet another humbling life lesson and a huge THANK YOU to KILIMANJARO!!!

ONE MORE SLEEP

As I wake this morning, I realize that I have one more sleep at home until I leave for my climb! That is a crazy feeling after planning this trip for almost a year! It seemed like it was never going to come!

When I woke and thought “just one more sleep” I instantly got so nervous, a good kind of nervous.

A short little clip to share with you what’s happening in my mind this day prior to leaving.

So many have asked the question “Are you ready?”

I think I am. I know physically I am ready however “ready” will be figured out retrospectively I think. When I am in those moments when I am wondering if I made all the right choices in clothing and whether I have enough of the right things with me to make due and make the trip happen. That will be determined in the exact moments that things are happening.

The question “am I ready?” will have to be truthfully answered on the other side of the trip because I think I am ready but I have never been involved in doing anything like this.

One more sleep…

I HASH TAGGED AN OFFICE SIGN

This morning I hash tagged an office sign!!!!!

That cracks me up how far we have come on social media!

I wanted to share few details about the office schedule as i head off on my trek a week from today March 2-12!!

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Let us know!!!

It still cracks me up that I hash tagged an office sign!

TWO TIPS FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Hello everyone!!! I certainly hope you are loving the snow as much as I am. I am such a kid at heart and love getting bundled up and playing outside. I have seen a few things in my chiropractic office, Cafe of LIFE, I want to cover and wanted to specifically give you two tips for the holidays to help get through the season as well as winter.

I have made a quick 6 minute video to cover these things and I encourage you to watch “Two Tips for the Holidays” by clicking the YouTube Clip right here!

I missed connecting with you prior to the first major snow of the season as well as the first major holiday. However it is still early in December and I know these “Two Tips for the Holidays” will help you no matter what.

FIRST TIP: The first tip is for shoveling snow. Most of my patients have been shoveling snow over the past couple days. We ended up with 10 FRESH INCHES OF SNOW!!!! on Sunday and into Monday. I JUST LOVE THE FIRST SNOW!!! And I really love that we got SO MUCH!!!

When we have to shovel snow, most of us are in a hurry and I would like to bring a little bit of mindfulness and awareness to the process. SHOVEL LESS SNOW PER PUSH AND DO MORE REPS!! This means instead of waiting for the full 10 inches to fall at one time, go out every 2 inches or so and work with that much. Or if you have no other choice than to do the full 10 inches at one time, do it is smaller increments. In other words, less weight in your shovel.

Shoveling snow can be a major workout and so let’s be mindful.

TIP NUMBER 2: Often times when we are prepping for holiday parties, cooking can begin very early in the day and go on for hours. I would say 99% of kitchens have hard floors: tile, wood or linoleum or something like that. When we stand hours on hard surfaces, it can really take a toll and add a lot of stress on our bodies. My suggestion is when you get up and you know that you will be cooking and prepping a big meal, put sneakers on your feet before you get started, and this goes for more than just during the holidays. Also the same goes for holiday shopping. If you have a lot of shopping to do, go out there in good supportive sneakers since that is often long hours on hard surfaces.

So just a quick two tips for the holidays message from your local chiropractor. I realize that these are super small things and just by having awareness of them, we can move through our holiday season with a little more ease. Also feel free to share this post and information with your friends and family and make the “most wonderful time of the year” even better!!!