community – We Only Get One Chance

UNKNOWN

Today I found the unknown staring me in the face.

The unknown is intimidating, very, very intimidating.

As most of you read in my last blog post, I GOT ENGAGED!!!! I am absolutely OVER THE MOON EXCITED, blessed and honored that this man has asked me to be his wife.

…and I have a GORGEOUS RING!!!

Newly engaged, it is hard to turn my eyes away from the ring. I had the chance to pick it out in the beginning of December but to actually wear it is a whole new experience.

As many of you know, I was married at 19 for 7 years. At one point someone said to me “Oh, you have had your ‘starter marriage’.” “STARTER MARRIAGE”??????? Um, sure??? I am not a fan of that concept, I understand the idea of a “starter home” by not a “starter marriage”.

Since then I have dated for 14 years and had some long term relationships, however even during all that time, the voice in my head would chime in and say “How do people actually get to the place of committing to marriage anyway?” I couldn’t make sense of it at the time. Now In retrospect, it is simple to see that internal voice was just making sure I would eventually find the right one and I get it now.

I look down at this ring and it says “commitment” to me in the most beautiful way. But staring right back at me is this huge UNKNOWN.

There are so many unknowns…things that have been on my radar but also things that I/we haven’t thought through completely.

It is scary to look down and know that I have literally committed to the unknown with Mike. The longer I linger in thoughts of the unknown, the more nauseated I get. It’s pure worry and I am sure there may be some place in your life that you can relate to that feeling.

When I snap out of that I think to myself “This unknown is WITH MIKE, my Mike.”

“We’ll figure it out” has rolled off our tongues so much to each other throughout our courtship. It is accompanied by this incredible I’ve-got-your-back energy, confidence, respect and honor and is followed by actually figuring things out together.

It is the most beautiful thing I have ever been involved in, the most innocent and precious connection.

We have not had a simple and easy road so far. We have been together for just over nine months but we have already scaled some walls and traversed some valleys that stood in our way. Something that is working in our favor is our age. I think when I was involved in my marriage at such an early age, as was Mike was as well, it is difficult to know who you are and what you want life to really look like. Also there is so much growth and evolution that happens through the 20s, it is simple to get set up in relationship patterns that will not go the distance.

We have both been there and have learned a lot along the way. The lessons have been interesting and some so painful it was often difficult to see any light. Neither of us fantasize about how easy marriage will be, but we do remain hopeful that things can remain simple.

What I have learned through 14 years of dating is that core values are the most important key to finding a partner. Deep core values NEED to line up. I have dated enough to know a little bit about connection and what questions to ask right from the start. When I was younger, it was difficult to ask the heavy hitting questions and that landed me in relationships that couldn’t endure he long haul.

So Mike and I had a lot of hard discussions right up front and vetted out some of the serious topics to be sure we lined up. Of course there will always be that work to do.

The other thing that has really built our foundation we bring up absolutely anything and everything that is on our minds, no matter what it is. Because of this we have been able to get to the roots of our personal challenges and have the hard talks about life and what we are looking for.

He is my safe place, my home and has been from the very beginning.

Together we will walk hand in hand into the unknown. From the outside this may look and sound like a match made in heaven with all rainbows and butterflies and unicorns. There are many obstacles, I will reveal more as time goes by, big obstacles that we have overcome already and some yet to be uncovered.

Jumping off the cliff into the unknown seems do-able with Mike. Father Time will be the great determiner and until then I will embrace the work, lean into the discomfort, have faith and put one foot in front of the other.

As I am writing this, I am curious to know more about you. I am curious if you have found yourself staring into the face of the unknown as well as maybe a hint or two about how you stepped in anyway. How did you do that? What did you bank on? Where was your courage sourced from? I think we can learn a lot from each other’s experiences. Leave your comments for me…

THE VALUE OF A DOLLAR

I learned the value of a dollar from a very young age. I come from a hard working family and not a whole lot was just given to us once we had earning potential.

That earning potential started around age 12 with babysitting and by age 14 I was working in our family orchard store.

During high school I worked locally at the grocery store and nights were spent babysitting. In fact, just last week I ran into one of the kids I babysat one summer that helped me earn money enough to pay for half of my 1977 Buick LaSabre ( <<–OH YEAH!!!) , my first car.

I think it goes without saying that the money we earn through our own blood, sweat and tears makes us appreciate what we buy with it even more. The work we do adds massive value to the earnings.

This post is not about earning money…I want to talk about the VALUE OF A DOLLAR…but even more than that, I want to talk about the VALUE OF A LOCAL DOLLAR.

I was leaving my office, Cafe of LIFE Chiropractic, last night and I was struck by one of the coolest concepts that I have to take a moment and share the details.

I see many local business owners and one was leaving my office at the very end of the night, he was my last patient. This particular guy owns a painting company and does a lot of work for a local restaurant. I also frequent that restaurant as well as have hired this guy to do some work around my building.

So as he was leaving my office last night, I stopped dead in my tracks with this thought…

I am leaving my office and heading to a restaurant for dinner. I sit down and eat great food and pay for it as well as the service there at that establishment. That restaurant needs painting done and so that restaurant takes some of those same dollars and pays this painter to come into their space and do his work for a fair money exchange. Now because this particular painter is so busy and has been for years, he has some regular work to be done on his spine to keep him in tip top shape so that he can keep doing what he is doing for a long time. He comes to my office regularly for chiropractic care and spends some of those dollars he earned painting that restaurant. Then I take some of those dollars he spends on his chiropractic care and I pay my staff for helping me run my office. My staff all live locally (actually born and raised in this area) and go to have incredible food and spend some of their wage at that same restaurant. I am a big fan of that restaurant and so I go back and spend those dollars there as well…and the cycle continues.

Now I use plastic for most transactions in my life, it is just easier to track that way. But let’s say I use single dollar bills to do all of this, and let’s say that the restaurant and that painter do as well. In all actuality, one single dollar could literally travel that loop for years and years to come. Of course some of those dollars need to go elsewhere to keep lights on and supplies stocked and such, but WOW!!! WHAT A CONCEPT!!!

The power and value of a dollar means something to all of us. But I want to challenge you to take a closer look into this concept and just how POWERFUL your LOCAL DOLLARS spent really are. Maybe these people are your neighbors. Maybe they are the owners of your favorite restaurant or hair salon or bike shop or other service location.

This isn’t a rant about where and with whom you spend your money. Not at all. I just wanted to shine the light on how money is energy and the dollar bill isn’t created or destroyed, it is like energy and just changes hands and gets a LOT OF THINGS done!!! When that energy is invested back into the local businesses, it becomes true power for this community.

Fenton is very “small business friendly” and even more so as the years go by. I currently live right downtown and as I walk by the stores and business, I realize my friends own and run those places, real friends and really good people. Fenton is a really cool place to be and in saying all of that, I want to say THANK YOU!!!! to the community for having me and my office as part of it all. As you are going through your days to come, think about the value in a dollar and just how much value we can all contribute to this energy circle right here in this beautiful town.

HUMILIATED

I am absolutely humiliated!

A patient walked into the Cafe of LIFE last Wednesday afternoon and asked me where I was earlier that day and why I wasn’t here when my office hours said I would be here.

“What do you mean? I am always here for our office hours Wednesday morning is 7:30a-10a.”

“That is not what your business card says.”

When we looked closer, our business cards have our office hours as “7:30am-1pm”. For months.

Sometimes when reviewing a proof for those kinds of things, the brain will look at something, skim right over an error and make up something completely different. That is exactly what happened.

So in essence it has looked like we just high-tail it out of here whenever we feel like it on Wednesday during that time slot. And if you know me like most of you do by now, I would NEVER do that.

She continued, “Yeah I was talking to my mom and she said ‘well she must just come and go as she pleases.’ You really don’t seem like that kind of a person to me.”

Um…I am NOT that kind of a person and I am not that kind of professional! I feel a lot of responsibility to all of you and there are a lot of people that rely on us. I was born with punctuality and responsibility woven into my fabric, that is just how I am.

So needless to say we looked over all our thousands of card that I ordered just a couple months ago and realized they were all wrong. In the meantime, every person that has come into this office, we always tell them, “Make sure to grab a card at the front desk, our hours are on the back.”

OH. MY. GOODNESS. I am seriously humiliated.

Yes I am only human and there are humans involved in the making and printing process of these things and mistakes can happen.

And by now I am sure you can imagine just how very GRATEFUL I am to this lady who brought this mistake to my attention!!!

The last thing I want to do is look like a slacker, and especially when I am not.

To all of you out there reading this that we may have confused and misled, I apologize and am so humiliated. Live and learn, right? You can bet I will have many different sets of eyes on all future materials like that.

CELEBRATE

It was right around this time in 1996, while attending Michigan State University, that I woke up at 2AM and decided I was going to be a chiropractor and went right back to sleep. I never turned back and now we will celebrate because of that.

Fast forward through 6 years of undergraduate school and I finally enter Life University College of Chiropractic. Four intense years later I graduate with my doctorate and find my way back to Fenton.

My original plan was to open my office in Ann Arbor which changed when I realized how difficult parking is in the downtown area. My second plan was to open the Café of LIFE in Birmingham, where my family is originally from and still stands Peabody’s Restaurant.

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I was living in Fenton with my mom and step-dad so I was driving around this area a lot. I always had my eyes open and one day a really cute little place came up for sale that got me thinking of potentially opening my doors here instead.

I brought the idea to my mom and she said “If the names French Laundry and Fenton Hotel can make it as restaurants, a Café of LIFE can make it as a chiropractic office.”

I wasn’t set on Fenton as being my landing place and so my HIGHEST priority when searching for office space was a 1 year lease (most commercial spaces require at least 3 years).

I settled on a space on Trealout Dr. and opened my doors 9 years ago on March 12th…and the rest truly is history.

I had no idea when I moved home that I would still be here 9 years later. I had no idea how much fun I was going to have being a chiropractor. I had no idea how many families I would become part of. I had no idea I would get to serve so many babies and chldren. I had no idea I would enjoy giving back to the community I grew up in so much. I had no idea I would find such amazing support here in this small town. I had no idea I loved Fenton so much.

But I do, and so here I am.

If you are reading this blog post, I am very grateful that our paths have crossed. I am so grateful you have allowed me to be part of your family, your life and your healthcare team. Thank you for spreading the word about chiropractic and about the Café of LIFE. I get choked up when I have a moment to think about how blessed I am to be part of your life. It is my pleasure to be your chiropractor.

I also have to say thank you to my amazing staff. We have seen some faces come and go, and even when they go, they don’t go far. A HUGE THANK YOU to the beautiful Alyssa that is currently manning this ship and keeping us all in line. Also THANK YOU to Teri who is our little engine that just keeps giving and loving and serving after all these years. THANK YOU to Rachael and Kel Leigh as they round out my incredible team. We wouldn’t be the Café of LIFE you all know today without these amazing ladies.

One last THANK YOU to all of you for sending your friends and loved ones our way! We are looking forward to serving all of you for many years to come!

Truly, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU for allowing me to serve you.

NOW LET’S EAT CAKE!!! Join us for your adjustments and stay and celebrate with a piece of cake 7:30a-10a & 3p-6p on Wednesday, March 12th!!!

DETROIT HALF MARATHON SUCCESS

When the alarm goes off at 3:30am on Sunday morning for me to get ready, drive down to Detroit and run 13.1 miles, I lay there in my bed and wonder whose idea this was anyway?

To have a half-marathon in the plans to run at the middle to end of fall is always a good idea in theory but as the day approaches, and especially the morning of, I really question my sanity in signing up for yet another one. I get really anxious and very nervous as the clock ticks away and the race approaches. In fact, all last week with the issues I have had with my foot lately, I was telling people that this race felt almost like a final exam. There is no pass/fail when it comes to running but for whatever reason I was putting a lot of pressure on myself.

The alarm goes off, I lay and try to figure out what I am supposed to be doing, it hits me that I have a race to run and up I go, out of bed and on my way. The second challenging thing about a race is to figure out what is the best thing to eat at that time in the morning, my choice this time around is a cereal bar, a Lara bar and a huge bottle of water. I make sure Choco has time for his business and jump in my Jeep and head down to Detroit.

I have a plan ahead of time about where I am going to park and it works out well. I am there over an hour ahead of time but it is helpful to not have the stress of a time crunch at the last minute. I decide to spend a few minutes to sit and visualize the race. From my seat, I can see the huge flags in front of the Ren Cen blowing in the wind and a bit of a chill every time someone comes in the front door. Although I am not looking forward to the cold, I have experienced much colder mornings with rain for this particular race.

After a few minutes I decide it is best to make my way to the starting line. It is a bit of a jog to get to the start but soon realize the perfection of it as my core begins to warm. From the Ren Cen, it is left on Jefferson, right on Washington and a left onto Fort St where there are 20,000 other runners and their support people, it is a massive sea of people and the energy is absolutely unbelievable!

I walk right up to my corral, enter and move forward to the start and off I go. Many people do these kinds of races with another person or a group of people, or at least have a support person waiting in the wings at the event. Not me. I have chosen to do these races regardless of whoever else may or may not want to do it with me. This time I realized how anonymous I was in this huge crowd and that is a pretty neat feeling. Even though I am anonymous, I feel like all of these 20,000 runners are my friends, mostly because they love what I love and they are about to do what I am about to do. It is a community that one can feel part of and be anonymous at the same time.

My bib is pinned to the front of my shirt with this crazy “20222” number that I am so excited about and my name written in big letters underneath it. In this huge community of people, you can be anonymous and also have people saying things like “Good job Erica”, “Keep it going Erica” and “You can do it Erica” along the entire course because your name is written right there.

The spectators of this great sport of running are amazing people. They are dressed in goose down, hats, gloves and boots carrying bells, signs, horns and other noise makers and for hours they sit there and cheer on the runners, people they know and mostly people they don’t know. The funniest sign I have seen so far in my years of running was just coming out of the tunnel and returning to the United States this time around and it read “WORST PARADE EVER!” Those of you that know me and my literal humor, could guess that I almost buckled over in laughter…that is funny stuff!

Mile 11 came around and I remember checking in with my body and all of its many sore parts…absolutely sore everywhere, no question. My pacer on my cyclemeter app on my iPhone was telling me that I was at 11 miles, running 9.40 minutes per mile and that I had 2.1 miles to go. 2.1 miles to go meant that in just about 20 minutes of continuous running I will be done and so I picked up my pace. I wanted to be finished as soon as I possibly could so better to just suck it up and pound out those last 2 miles than to drag it out any longer.

There is a moment in every long run that I am grateful beyond anything words can explain that my body is capable and allows me to do this. It is at that moment that life is so grand and I feel absolutely unstoppable. It is such an incredible feeling and is the “runner’s high” that everyone talks about. This happens to me around 8ish miles or so and continues to the end of the race.

The last turn down Fort St is something that sticks in my mind and is what gets me coming back to run these streets year after year. The finish line is in sight, there are thousands of people lining the sides of the street, little kids sticking out their hands for runners to give them a high five (and you better believe I take every high five I can get along the way) and cheers of celebration during the last few blocks like nothing you have ever experienced. In that moment I let my imagination run wild and pretend they are all cheering for me…and then crossing of the finish line, the ever so familiar beep as your chip time is recorded capped off with a beautiful medal that someone hangs around your neck…it is in a dream state that I finish each race.

It is a huge accomplishment to work towards all year and when I get my A+ on my final exam, though 3:30am is early, by a little bit after 9 I have burned over 1,500 calories, shared in that kind of energy…nothing feels better. Only one thing would make it even better…if more of you will join me next year! Do you have a half-marathon on your bucket list? Check that item off by running with me next year! I am serious…we only get one chance to live this life! Let’s make it happen!

EARTH DAY CLEANUP

This is a quick link to a short write-up about our 3RD ANNUAL EARTH DAY CLEANUP. Come join us on Saturday April 21st 9a-noon. We will provide bags and gloves and a take home gift for all those who volunteer some of their time to our CLEANUP efforts.

http://www.mlive.com/news/flint/index.ssf/2012/04/earth_day_cleanup_scheduled_in.html

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact Cafe of LIFE by phone at (810)629-6023 or email erica@cafeoflifefenton.com. We hope to see you on APRIL 21st for our EARTH DAY CLEANUP!!!

I AM AMAZED EVERYTIME!

I have done my fair share of traveling in my life and have spent a lot of time on planes since I moved home in 2004. I always try to get a window seat because I love seeing what there is to see while we sit and wait for the plane to take off. I am also the one with my nose glued to the glass during portions of the flight and of course the landing. More often than not, prior to take-off I find myself in a daze watching as these huge planes are filled with people and luggage. I am amazed the logistical phenomenon that is our airline systems…I mean really, how on Earth do they get all those bags to the right spots?!?! I marvel in the simple fact that something that big could fly through the air and carry people comfortably from one location to some place completely different. I know our civilization has been flying for years and years, and I myself have taken numerous flights…but I am so fascinated by the concept of flight. Loading up in Detroit in the middle of winter and arriving in Costa Rica, in a totally different country, climate and culture…that is totally awesome!

With how intense (in a good way) my life is at home, coupled with my ability to completely relax on vacation, flying somewhere sometimes feels like getting on a time machine. The last 2 weeks of March was a very intensely stressful time for me. In the middle of the 2 weeks, it just so happened that I had a trip to Colorado planned. I got to a boiling point and since my trip to Colorado was mostly for fun, I almost backed out of going. After asking a bunch of questions and weighing a few things, I decided to go…and what perfect timing! I left the crazy chaos going on here and as soon as I sat down on the plane, it all melted away. In a short 2.5 hour plane ride, I was half way across the country, with great friends, beautiful sunshine and peace of mind to enjoy the weekend. It truly is amazing to “sit in a chair in the air” and end up thousands of miles away. The following link is one of my favorites…half way through is when he starts his discussion about flight and he hits the nail on the head…I laugh so hard every time I watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r1CZTLk-Gk&feature=list_related&playnext=1&list=AL94UKMTqg-9BlsLTYIGJEOA-5oL2pRdka

His whole concept of “Everything is Amazing and Nobody is Happy” is so right on. Take a look around and find a little something to be amazed by and grateful for. So many of the thigns around you are absolutely amazing…even the simple fact that I can write this blog sitting at my desk and my Grandmother can read it from her home in Florida…and you can read it from wherever you are!! This LIFE truly is AMAZING!!! …and we only get one chance.

SUPER HERO CHRISTMAS

Last night I bought a wimpy Christmas tree. I say wimpy because it is only an 7 foot tree and looks so small. Over the last few years, I have been used to my 20+ foot ceilings and I would get 10+ foot trees because I had just the perfect spot. This year I am back to standard

8 foot ceilings and that is very limiting outside of cutting a hole in the ceiling. One of our favorite couples came into the Cafe this morning and I got laughing so hard as I was reminded me of a Christmas tree incident that happened last year. It goes something like this…

I cannot remember exactly what the evening consisted of, however I know that there was some sort of drama involved that left me feeling a little “run over”. I remember pulling into my garage after midnight with a distressed feeling and ready to go to bed and start the next day new. I walked into my house, set my keys down, kicked off my shoes and was heading upstairs when I noticed that my 12 foot Christmas tree had taken a tumble and many ornaments were smashed on the floor. “Where is that dog?!?!” …oh, right, he is still in his kennel being a good boy. There weren’t any earthquakes so the only one I could blame it on was the little physics wizard inside of me that was on vacation when I put it into the tree stand…apparently off balance. Then my inner comedian chimed in with “If a 12 foot Christmas tree falls in a living room and no one is around, does it make a sound?”

I quickly accepted the destruction and decided since it was already after midnight and nobody is around to help…this is the PERFECT time to remedy the situation. So with one big heave, I was able to get it mostly upright…well upright as long as I was holding it there…but if I was holding it, who is going to re-do the screws in the tree stand so that it won’t tip over again????? BRILLIANT ERICA!!!! Your SUPERWOMAN complex is really getting you into trouble this time around!!! So next decision to make was… 1. Let the tree fall again and go out on a limb and ask for help tomorrow, or… 2. Be grateful for long arms and find some of that SUPERHERO strength and somehow make it happen. Let’s put it this way…you all know which one I chose (I mean really, if you have been following this blog at all, you know me quite well), I dove in waist deep in pine needles, it was a dumb idea, and I was sore for days!!! …and if you do know me, I am sure you can get the visual and have probably let out a chuckle and the ridiculous-ness.

Moral of the story…if you are one person, don’t try to do a two-person job! Learn to ask for help when it is appropriate because helping others is human nature and if you ask, I can guarantee someone will step in and be glad to. Running my chiropractic office, I have people coming in all the time because they tried to do a two-person job on their own. Learn from my mistakes…or just buy smaller Christmas trees!!! ‘Tis the Season!!!

I AM IN LOVE

I am in love …WITH SWIMMING!!! In my trek to my first triathlon, I have discovered a love for swimming. I am so crazy about it and I had no idea I would enjoy it this much. In fact, I find myself so excited during the day knowing that I get to go out there and jump in the water and swim! So in this crazy joy I am finding in swimming, I am taking a step back and trying to understand what is happening in my mind that makes me love it so much.

I do most of my swimming out in the lake and the water has been really, really beautiful. I have been focusing on free-style stroke which I am hoping to do for the entire swim distance of the triathlon.

I have been working really hard on rhythmic breathing in order to be able to tackle the stroke which is a challenge in and of itself for my body. The breath is taken through the mouth and then the head goes in the water, breathe out the nose and then coming back up for a breath and start again. I have found such a peacefulness in the time that my head is underwater.

I have goggles on of course and can see in the water but cannot see anything because the lake is rather deep. I see the bubbles coming from my nose and I watch my arms as I take strokes and watch the trail of bubbles that follows my hands as they move through my visual field. There is something about that scene that I am completely mesmerized by and I think about during the day.

It is really quiet underwater. That peacefulness is contrasted every time I take a breath with all the chaos on top of the water from the sights and sounds of the world above the surface. Then I return to the peace, then chaos, then peace, then chaos. I also notice how much of the water I can feel when I first jump in and the temperature contrast of that first submersion when compared to the air. I have come to really enjoy the slight pressure on my skin as I move through the water and the sweeping sensation the water makes as I begin covering the distance. When I am finished and get back up on the dock, there is an incredible euphoria and sometimes a slight dizziness from over oxygenation of the body. I am hooked…in a really serious way.
Those of you who know me realize that I am continuously exploring and looking for new adventures and new doors to open. In that, I have made some really awesome discoveries.

Have you been exploring? Are you finding new and wonderful things in this life on a continual basis? Life is a process of discovery…on many levels. I am in love with swimming. Get out there and try something new…we only get one chance. …oh, and come cheer me on on June 25th 8:00am at Clover Beach off Linden Rd:)

A GREAT WEEKEND

It was a GREAT weekend, I mean really great. It was the most perfectly balanced weekend that I can remember in a long time. It started with a coaching meeting and getting my hair done on Friday morning. The evening marked the last class of Yoga Teacher Training with concluded with 108 sun salutations to a live bongo band. Awesome! And maybe you are not familiar with what a sun salutation is so let me breifly describe it. It follows the length of about 5-6 breaths and includes 11 postures, standing, forward fold, top of a plank then bottom, up dog, down dog and back to the top of the mat. Multiply that by 108 = A LOT of work. Good work though. Saturday morning began with the Le Leche League doing their cloth diaper sale in the front yard of the Cafe of LIFE. It was great because I came and helped set up and didn’t have to stay and work. So I chose to head up north. There is a bike ride called Zoo-De-Mack(http://www.zoo-de-mack.com/) that happens once a year and I have gone up and participated for 7 years. This year I didn’t get to do the ride but I went up for the celebration anyways. Mackinaw Island is such a cool place. There is so much to do and see there, I really enjoy it. The evening was filled with friends and dancing and everyone was in such great spirits. I woke early on Sunday and made it home to finish the weekend hanging out with my family and having dinner on the lake.

This is the frist weekend where I actually felt like I was able to catch up with myself. Seems life is so full anymore that I feel I fall behind a little with myself. Great to relax and have some fun and catch up. This morning I woke up loving the fact that it is Monday. Monday mornings are so full of potential. Some people really dread Mondays however I feel like there are so many possibilities for the week when I am staring at the ceiling waking up on Monday mornings. In that same moment, I am so grateful that I play a part in choosing to make the week a good one or not. It was a great weekend. May as well do our best to make all of our weeks great…we only get one chance.