Dr Erica Peabody – Page 2 – We Only Get One Chance

JANUARY

It is hard to believe we are a day away from the end of January!

How are you doing with the year so far?

What changes have you made?

What changes do you want to make?

What things do you want to do this year?

The polar vortex has put a little damper on this week, however, it has also given us a few minutes to slow down and sit still, or at least I hope you are taking some moments to sit still. This is a great time to contemplate, plot and scheme for your success going forward.

We have been open a good portion of our regular hours this week as other business have chosen to be open, and some have closed.

I was reviewing some things in my life last night as I was trying to figure out whether to be open today or not (we are OPEN!!!!). First off, some of you know and some of you may not know, I lived in Anchorage, Alaska for 3.5 years, I got my bachelors degree at University of Alaska Anchorage. It was an amazing experience just to be up in Alaska, much less get a chance to live there and be able to experience it all. I have a great appreciation for the arctic northern temperatures having to live and work in negatives (-40 for an entire month one winter) for those years.

I watch you all get out of your cars here at the office this week, all bundled up with 1-6 children in tow and I applaud and honor you. It reminds me of getting bundled up to go to class and work at one time. I honor you for taking a moment to make it in to town and stop by our office. I honor you for your commitment to the change you want to make for yourself and your family this year.

If you have cancelled your appointments this week, I honor you for staying home and staying safe and warm, I honor you for respecting that small voice inside that said “not today”. I honor each and every single one of you and I watch as schedules change daily due to school closings. I honor you for being resilient enough to shift and change your days around to be able to manage it all.

We are open because I am going to be here anyway.

We are open because cabin fever is a real thing and has set in for many of you and you need an excuse to get out of the house and go do something.

We are open because our shifts are a little slower but it gives us a chance to catch up on other things, like hanging pictures and signs, getting ahead of the endless paperwork and doing a lot of cleaning.

We are open because we are here to serve you, and not as arctic heroes or something, but because we can make it here to the office and we also know you are doing a lot of extra shoveling and shivering and that there is a little extra stress this week that we can help you with.

We are here for you. We honor you for staying inside your cozy home with your loved ones and hunkering down. We honor you for getting out in the cold and heading this way.

Old Man Winter took his good ol’ precious time getting here this year but came in with a blast! When it warms enough to get outside, I encourage you to do so because I believe one of the healthiest things we can do through the winter months in Michigan is get outside and get some fresh air.

While you are inside of these slower moments, take a glance at what your plans are for this year and make a choice today to move you in the direction you want to go. That can be as simple as grabbing an extra glass of water, taking a few more trips up and down the stairs to get the heart pumping, journalling, reading a book or playing a game of checkers with your child.

Bundle up!!! Stay safe and warm!!! Take a few minutes to evaluate how you are doing now that January is coming to a close and let’s connect soon!!!

GROUCHY

She is grouchy…or finicky. Yeah, finicky is probably a better way to describe her.

The old girl, Big Blue as we have so adoringly named her, has been good to us so far.

We are working on week number 3 here and we are enjoying our time and our transition. It is different than just closing one door and opening another one in a different office space and getting to business.

It is time well spent feeling her out and figuring out how to manage all of the intricacies and quirks that make her so dang lovable.

She is warmer than would be expected on cold days and colder than expected on warm days except some areas are colder than others and warmer than others. Ugh.

The original builder, AJ Phillips, put the walls together by stacking two by fours on top of one another and then plaster and lath over that, not normal stud distance, like literally one on top of another. It is pretty astounding actually. We have a couple HUGE pocket doors and if you look inside the pockets, you can see the construction pattern…and to think those were put in place, by hand, one by one, 130 years ago. WOW that is some serious labor!!!

AND!!!! Not to mention the woodwork that adorns the entire space on all three floors The first floor is our Cafe of LIFE Chiropractic Center and has so many special things about it…but the second and third floors are absolutely spectacular as well. We are so excited to be able to open that second story to all of you and be able to rent the third story, one bedroom and one bath apartment. All in due time.

We love how much you all have loved her so far and we invite those that haven’t had a chance to swing by and experience the space to swing in! We hold open adjusting hours one Saturday per month and although we will have patients here getting adjusted, if you happen to be out and about around town this coming Saturday, October 6th, stop by and swing in! We will be here 9a-11a.

My staff comes to me with things they have noticed or things they need in this new space. It seems as though my

lunchtimes have been converted to “repair time” and grabbing lunch while working on a project! But that is okay, as we know that she will always be a work in progress but we will become a little more familiar with her needs and quirks as the time goes by.

When life took a turn and I needed to move to a different spot to be able to get one of my rentals leased out, I decided I would stay here and get to know her. My conversation with my mom that evening went “I am just going to triple-dog-dare myself to stay for the night and just see what happens. If you don’t mind, just please do not lock your door in case I get spooked and end up having to come out there.” I did fine from the first night but definitely wasn’t such a huge fan of having to go into the basement after dark. Now my attitude is like “sure girl! Whatever you need right now is good with me. Oh you need me to tend to something in the basement at midnight? Absolutely!! I will be right there!”

It is the strangest thing that I feel like I should leave a babysitter for her when Mike and I head out of town! I have never had the feeling but Mike thinks it is ridiculous!!! I just laugh at myself that the thought even crosses my mind at all. The great thing is that she sits right in the middle of a town that is so connected and wonderful and I am certain that if there was something going on, 30-50 people would be on the phone texting and calling me right away and so I thank you!!!

Please watch out for her. Mike and I have most of it handled but we need eyes and ears around for this grouchy old gal!!! …I mean finicky.

She is a gem and I think it has taken a bit for her to get used to all of us!!! There is a lot of new and fun energy inside of this space during our days and we have already had a HUGE engagement celebration!! …in fact that party is what gives me so much certainty that 30-50 of you would call and text if something goes bad because of the amount of people that made remarks about that party a couple Friday’s ago, “my kids pointed to that place and said, ‘Hey Mom! Can we go there?’ since it looked like something fun was going on when we drove by” are the kind of messages we got that following week.

We love her. We are so excited to plan our wedding to be hosted within these beautiful walls in early March, just 5 months away.

A phrase we hear over and over again around here, from me, my team and all those that visit, “if only these walls could talk!”

We are continuing to create a story here at Big Blue, stories of healing and health and wellness and life and living and family and the amazing power of the chiropractic adjustment that would make the forefathers of this great profession proud. There are pictures in the infancy phases of chiropractic that were taken in places just like this. Big Blue was born in 1889-91 time frame (seems the history was maybe she took 2 solid years to build) and chiropractic was born in 1895. It feels so, so very right to be here doing what we are doing.

Although she is grouchy, or I mean finicky (just looked that word up in the dictionary: fussy about one’s needs and desires <—sounds about RIGHT!) I think we have an incredible thing started that these walls will want to tell stories about for years to come!!! Stop in and join us this Saturday 9-11am!!!

PEACHY

From the outside it appears that all is peachy and so simple.

It’s not.
It’s hard, anxiety-driven work to pursue a dream.
It’s long, late night conversations and countless sleepless nights.

It’s questions without answers and conflict without immediate or foreseeable resolution.

It’s stress beyond anything I have ever known.
It’s wildly uncomfortable and feels like running around constantly short on time.
It’s humbling and frightening.
It’s not just out of my comfort zone, it’s as though I took a rocket ship and split from the Universe my comfort zone is in.
It’s so far off the edge and hoping the ground appears somewhere beneath my foot as I take the next step.

It is tears of frustration and moments when I cannot stand being inside my own skin.

It is giving up beach towels and sunglasses for hammers and drills.

It is a deep breath in not knowing when i will have space to exhale.
…AND it’s not just business, it’s every aspect of life.
It’s building a home that’s gone on far, far too long.
It’s learning to partner inside of a relationship rather than run off on my own and do it all my own way.
It’s learning what being a bonus mom is all about and to triplets nonetheless.

It’s wedding planning and all that comes with that (which i am currently trying to figure out).
It’s a constant battle with my subconscious that wants everything to stay the way it’s always been.
It’s tough and messy and faith-building.

It is somehow trusting that stupid phrase “You will only be given as much as you can handle.” Everyone please STOP SAYING THAT!!!!
It’s being sure to meditate every day and pray every night.

…and all this I am writing because I got a great hot shower and did my hair and now I’m dreading walking outside into the humidity which will undo it all in 17 minutes flat. …and so this is me procrastinating and writing to you instead of that.
And now I’ve come to the end of this rant.
Regardless of all that I wrote above, I’m going to make it the best day I can anyway.

Building dreams comes with a lot of hard work and not all of it is peachy.

3 DAYS IN

We are just 3 days in to our new location and I have to say it has been beyond extraordinary. We are over the moon excited about how this space has turned out which trickles down to our ability to serve you.

The space is airy and cozy and solid and grounding and healing and absolutely lovely.

So many people are astounded by our ability to get moved over and create seamless transitions for our patient crowd.

Here is all I know. We closed our doors at our Leroy location on Thursday, September 13th at 6pm. We had until Monday, Septmeber 17th at 10am to get up and running.

Mike would say over and over and over…. “Just pick the critical path, just the critical items that you need to get your day started and be able to endure patient care at the level they have come to expect.” …and so in and amongst a weekend of family obligations we made it happen.

Thursday at 6pm is when the anxiety set in. How long will it take us to do this? and is 3 days enough? It was a little like jumping off a cliff because, although I have moved my business a few times in the past, it had been 8 years and as I mentioned in a Facebook post, I am a pathological underestimator. I underestimate everything and commit 100% and somehow figure it out.

It was a weekend of moving furniture, unplugging computer systems and wires all throughout the office. It was filled with wires going every which way and plugging things in and praying. It was a weekend or rearranging chairs and sweeping floors and dusting everything from head to toe.

Mike had to leave with his children around 6:30 on Sunday evening and head back home to be sure they are all ready to start the week. I spent 5 solid hours on each adjusting station from one side of the place to the other and into the reception room.

The computer system was working, the music wasn’t. The tables were ready, the rugs couldn’t be put down because of the finish on the floors. The front desk was ready, the massage rooms were ready, the air conditioners were working, toilets cleaned and floors swept. One more faucet installation around 9:30 and we were prepped for my realtor and his team to show up for the unveiling of the signage and the start to our first day!!

https://www.facebook.com/JohnWentworthRealEstateGroup/videos/729294227406651/

We did it! It was a push but we did it and made it happen.

…and here we are just 3 days in and more inspired than ever before. Follow your dreams, listen to your heart and that small voice inside as it will lead you in the right direction. This truly feels like home and we are so glad to be here!

HOME

We are moving home!!!

I finished my final shift at Cafe of LIFE Chiropractic at 521 N Leroy this evening. I had 4 patients between 5:45 and 6pm and I could feel myself winding down the service in that space.

This is the fourth location for my practice, so although I am not a big fan of moving, I am familiar with the process. I bought the Leroy Street location in 2010 and the location prior to that was so super bittersweet leaving because it was a chiropractic office since the 60s. My heart ached to leave that location knowing I was moving my practice from the exact location my chiropractor worked in when I was getting adjusted as a kid. I settled myself knowing that my 521 location would be passed down to another generation of chiropractors at some point.

But it won’t be passed down and I am certain it will get rented to another amazing business other than a chiropractor. There won’t be little ones roaming the halls there waiting for their adjustments years from now and far beyond when I am retired like I always thought there would be.

But truly we are moving home. I cannot describe the feeling of our new building, affectionately known as “Big Blue”, except for it is home. I got a little choked up as I was counting down the final adjustments in the Leroy location but I could sit here now in full on tears to know that we are moving home.

This is home.

I have had a recurring dream over the past 20 years that has driven me to this exact location. Watch for a Facebook LIVE tomorrow, Friday September 14th, as I share that beautiful story.

How did I get here? How did this all happen? How on Earth am I moving my practice and my livelihood to my dream location, no literally the space inside of my dream? We have a lot of work ahead of us in the next 72 hours as we transition the office to be ready for the practice on Monday, but it is all worth it to move home.

ENDURANCE

I am fully convinced endurance is the key to success.

I have run marathons, half-marathons and climbed to the rooftop of Africa. I have done triathlons, 60-90 minute extreme hot yoga classes and 50 mile bike rides and ran a thriving family chiropractic office for 14 years. I endured 10 years of school beyond high school and driven 3,000 miles from Anchorage, Alaska to Atlanta, Georgia. I have spent countless hours studying, during school and since by doctorate degree and taken many long plane rides, longest being 26 hour plane ride from Detroit to Kilimanjaro.

I never realized just how much endurance has played into my equation for success until a few months ago.

I was sitting down for lunch with one of my mentors in Florida and he says “I am really proud of you.” He then continues, “Anyone can work hard enough and earn the degree but not many can really do what it takes to run the business the way you have and succeeded in practice and kept that kind of energy doing it all by yourself.”

Here is a clue to my internal workings, I just expect that of myself and I do not give myself an “out” to not do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. …and that goes for every area of my life.

I was shocked when he said that mostly for the simple fact of the expectations I set on myself but when I really do look back and see how far I have come I have done this all on my own. Granted I do have an INCREDIBLE support network in my life for sure that pick me up, dust me off and give me a kick in the rear to get going again. I have to take a

Best Chiropractor Fenton Michigan - Endurance - Dr Erica Peabody

moment to thank my amazing team Nikki, Teri, Stephanie and Laura – you ladies make this entire dream worth living and working so hard for!!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!!!

One week prior to that trip to Florida, I was presented with an incredible business opportunity. The evening before this particular lunch with my mentor, Mike and I were out to dinner and I got wind that the opportunity was actually a reality if I wanted it for the taking.

So I jumped.

I had no idea that the words that my mentor said at that time about my endurance for what I am doing would ring truer and louder than ever before in my life. I had no idea how much that trek up Mt. Kilimanjaro would help me the past 3 months. I had no idea that Chicago Marathon in 2005 and all the half marathons and all those miles training out on the trails to prep for those grueling 26.2 and 13.1 miles would help me through this time in my life since March.

As I endured 6 months in that walking boot last year and 3-4 trips to the gym still training, some would chime in and ask “what are you training for now?”

“I am training for LIFE!” was always my answer.

Yes I have had road races and triathlons and trek and swims and hikes that I have trained for in the past, I have

Chiropractor Fenton Michigan - The Second Strap - Dr Erica Peabody

always had something in front of me that would inspire me daily to keep going…but I had no idea it was all for these past 3 months. The meetings, emails, lists, meetings, emails and more lists, along with straight up execution on all of these things day in and day out aside from my newly engaged life and busy practice…this is what I have been training for. If I am totally honest, I have developed slight PTSD opening my email these days in fear of one more list, one more thing, one more meeting that will need to be tended to.

And I still have yet to birth my own children and raise my own family…I hear that takes some serious endurance and I am certain that this time in my life is just mere preparation for those next steps too.

Patients ask me all the time, “What is your next big adventure?” “What is the next mountain you are going to climb?” Little did you know I have been climbing one of the biggest mountains in my life and you are all right along side me.

All of this “talking in code” and not being able to disclose this information has been a multiplying factor for the endurance of this climb. I love being able to bounce ideas off of my people, my board of directors especially, and share. I feel like when I share I am able to download and reprocess things inside of my mind and being and create some form of order. I have been unable to do that due to the nature of this incredible plan.

HOLY COW DOC!?!?!?!??!!!!!! Are you leaving us????? Nope I am here and setting even deeper roots into the Fenton community than ever before. I am more here than I have ever been before. I am more excited than I have ever been before. I am more charged up about life and living and serving than ever before. We are taking things up to a whole new level and are going to be able to be a beacon of light, a true heartbeat of health and wellness inside of our community and although I need another week or so to really share the plans, trust me it is really, really good and worth all the endurance.

Now if you possibly think I could tackle something like this on my own…well thank you and yes I probably could, however I wouldn’t want to without the greatest partner in life walking shoulder to shoulder right at my side. He props me up, he settles me down, he charges me up and knocks me on my behind when I need it. He has been a solid driving force since our day one together however even more so now that this kind of rubber is meeting the road and this kind of traction is needed. There were a few moments during this process that I had to consider if I would do something like this on my own…the answer us YES I would and could and will if necessary. But in saying all that, I am so so grateful, ever so grateful to you my Love. Thanks for everything Babe. Good thing he is a three-time Ironman, I knew endurance was part of the fabric he was cut from since the start.

Stay tuned!!! It is just getting good.

THE SCENIC ROUTE

I am one who always loves to take the scenic route.

I realize this more and more as the years go by. Even if it takes me the same time, 15 minutes more or an hour more, I would prefer to be on the scenic route than anywhere else.

This has become super evident over the past year being with a guy that also loves taking the scenic route. What’s the saying? “Life is about the process, not the destination.” I don’t know who said that but it is brilliant.

Last weekend I drove over to Cleveland, Ohio to attend Birthfit Professional seminar (I will share a lot more about Birthfit Professional as time goes by as it will become an incredible tool and offering here at the Cafe of LIFE). The seminar was Saturday and Sunday 8am-6pm both days. That is a long weekend and with everything else going on in life right now, it was difficult to commit to that schedule. I registered over 2 months ago and I am a woman of my word and so 7pm on Friday evening I made the drive.

Friday was a day filled with “life” and I wanted to be on the road by 5pm but that just didn’t happen. Because I also need to preserve my sleep, I took the fastest and most efficient way to the area and got to a hotel just after 10pm to prepare for a 6:30am wake-up.

Saturday was an incredibly informative and inspiring day with a group of colleagues passionate about helping prenatal and postpartum moms prepare and recover from the most intense athletic event of their lives. Saturday evening we were released at 6 and I set out to find some dinner.

Some of you know this about me but most of you probably don’t, I love just going for a drive. In fact, sometime I will say to Mike “Hey babe, let’s go for a drive.” …which he is usually game for and we go and explore. Another fun fact about me (at least I think it is fun although maybe I shouldn’t be so assuming 🙂 ) is I am passionate about real estate. I have invested around the local area and I absolutely love transforming spaces. Mike does too. As we go for these random drives around, I usually am opening my Zillow app on my phone as we see “for sale” signs posted along our route. Anywhere. Anytime. We drive around just to see what there is to see but also scope real estate wherever we are. I am a Zillow addict and I love that fact that I have access to see what the homes look like inside.

Saturday night I set out on a drive to find food and before long I realized just how close to Lake Erie I was staying. I got caught up in a long drive scoping the Cleveland coastline real estate…and then moved inland a street…and then another. Have you been to Cleveland? WOW!!! There were block after block of beautiful homes for miles. I ran out of daylight but I was astounded. I had Coffeehouse on my Sirius XM and it was the most relaxed I had been all week. I would wander around, taking in all the scenery and I could feel my heart filling up. That may seem like a strange thing to feel while on a drive looking at real estate, but I am okay with being strange.

Sunday came fast and furious and I was back in the seminar. Sometime during that day I decided I was going to take the coastline home. Yes I got out of the seminar at 6pm. Yes I had a 3 hour drive in front of me. Something inside urged me to take the scenic route and that something was making such a strong declaration about it that if I would have gotten on the toll road and taken the quickest route home, it would have been a battle inside myself the entire way.

So I did. At 6pm I got into my car and found the most beautiful stretch of homes along the coastline for a large portion of my drive back home. Looking back, I am so glad I took the scenic route even though it added some time to my late drive home. When everything was said and done, I had added just a mere 30 extra minutes driving the coastline between Cleveland and Toledo instead of the major highway. But on top of that, my heart was full.

YOLO “You Only Live Once” and FOMO “Fear Of Missing Out” drive my life and especially these types of decisions. I am the first to jump off the highway and see if I can find a fun way home just to see what is there.

So many people are in such a rush to get places. Yes there is a time to be rushed and there is a time to find the quickest route to the destination and get there. But what about when you are not rushed? What would the path look like if you got off the heavily beaten most traveled route? What would you see? What would you be exposed to? What would you learn?

Sometimes I take the scenic route and find that there wasn’t a whole lot to see. Most of the time when I am on the scenic route I find something new and always finished more inspired. In one of the books I read recently the author suggested “what would happen if you took a different way home?” Your usual route to work could actually look different…which would feel different…which would help to stir up the monotony of life and maybe help you see things from a different angle.

Life goes by so quickly, I have a hard time even wrapping my head around the fact that we are in May of 2018. Take the scenic route next time you get a chance.

HOUSE SHOES

I am one that has to wear house shoes now.

One year ago I was preparing to turn 40 and I was really busy calling it “Version 4.0” and redirecting my attention away from the number and more towards an “upgraded version” of myself. Reframe on point!

I had summitted Mt Kilimanjaro a month prior and although I am sure my body was still trying to recover from the physical intensity of that experience, I was also in the middle of a 6 week yoga challenge when my birthday rolled around. Looking back, I am not sure that much yoga was a good thing for my body at that time.

As I continued with the challenge, I experienced more and more pain in my left foot. I was always fine during the class and for the rest of the day following, but the mornings were continuing to get worse and worse, with very painful first steps out of bed. This continued until I finished the challenge and took a break from that kind of movement….and then every other kind of movement as well. (All of the rest of the year following that injury and my “boot camp” has been written up in previous blog posts so I won’t go over all the details here but look back through the blog history).

Two days ago I was getting ready to head over to my brother’s house to celebrate my niece’s 8th birthday. I had a few things I needed to gather however front and center on my list of “things not to forget” were my house shoes.

I have been unable to comfortably go bare-footed in my house, or anywhere for that matter, in months. I spend all of my time with some sort of shoes on my feet.

I have been to quite a few yoga classes lately and sections of the classes are comprised of dramatic movements and jumping around…on hard floors…in bare feet. As I glance around the room at the other yogis, I find myself wondering just how much they take the fact that they can go barefooted for granted. And that is not saying that I wasn’t that same way not long ago.
I look at them and their feet and I think to myself…I remember a time when I didn’t think twice about being barefoot. Now I can wear one of 3 pairs of shoes but I have to have a pair on my feet at all times.

Yes that means getting up out of bed in the morning and stepping right into shoes.

Yes that means carefully crawling onto my double yoga mat (for extra protection) in the yoga room and being mindful enough to get through the classes.

Yes that means every single outfit I wear is matched with sneakers…either my Brooks or my Saucony…black or navy blue…and when I say every single outfit, I am serious.

Yes and that also means that I have to pack house shoes whenever I go anywhere.

I have a healthy fear of hardwood floors and tile now which seems really unfortunate but is apparently how life will be moving forward.

I always thought I would be able to do what I have always done. Version 4.0 told me different. I am not a fan of blaming age and years for all of our ails and have been seeking any and all information about healing foot tissue and nerves and bones…and everything else for that matter.

It has lead me down some interesting paths, into some interesting offices, trying interesting remedies, meeting interesting practitioners and reading some interesting books. I have a whole lot more knowledge about the foot and leg than ever before and I will continue to progress down my path of healing.

I still have quite a road ahead of me with this foot and have never had anything take over a year to heal. In fact, I am at the point of accepting maybe it will never ever be the same. I am trusting the slowing down process that has been required of me so far. I will keep walking forward even if every single step is inside of sneakers or these silly house shoes. Here is to celebrating the completion of my 41st trip around the sun!!! 🙂

THE PROPOSAL

Everyone loves love and I have shared this video with so many people, PLUS, there were about 150 people there to witness it anyway…I wanted to share the proposal.

If you are wondering what I am talking about, check a few posts prior to this one. 🙂

Let me set the scene…

I grew up on an apple orchard just south of town called Peabody Orchards. It is no longer a functioning apple orchard and hasn’t been for quite some time.

My family still owns a good portion of it and along with the property came a rusty old crane-like piece of equipment. My brother is an adventurer and he and a buddy of his had an idea if they erected some telephone poles, braced by the crane, wrapped them in chicken wire and put a sprinkler system at the top, they could farm ice and then climb it. This is currently a fully functioning business called Peabody Ice Climbing, sort of like a rock climbing gym only for ice climbers.

Every winter for the past 10 years or so, Peabody Ice Climbing has been hosting people from all over the region for regular ice climbing and even some competitions. For his loyal customers, my brother throws a huge party called Ice Fest and it is a riot every single year. Through the years he has gotten bigger and bigger sponsors to help support his efforts and the party.

It takes a lot of people to get the party started and keep it going. As a family member, I always show up to enjoy the celebration but also help in any way I can.

Little did I know the plan was on me this year, and everyone there was in on it…

At the end of the day the ice climbing portion shuts down and it is time for dancing and a little bit of cheer. The after party goes to the wee hours of the night and, although tiring, is super duper fun.

It kicks off with a raffle for gear donated by the sponsors. I always help with the raffle to be sure everyone get their stuff and all the gear gets into the right hands.

This year was no different…until Mike grabbed the microphone and proceeded to tell our story. It went like this (be sure to watch until the end). It starts with me kneeling down near the floor figuring out the raffle items:

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NUSrFVRYAM[/youtube]

So there you have it!

Everyone loves love and through this relationship I have realized that everyone relives their own little love story out along the stories I share. Since there were so many people there to witness it anyway and it was recorded on numerous phones, I thought I would share the proposal with you all.

UNKNOWN

Today I found the unknown staring me in the face.

The unknown is intimidating, very, very intimidating.

As most of you read in my last blog post, I GOT ENGAGED!!!! I am absolutely OVER THE MOON EXCITED, blessed and honored that this man has asked me to be his wife.

…and I have a GORGEOUS RING!!!

Newly engaged, it is hard to turn my eyes away from the ring. I had the chance to pick it out in the beginning of December but to actually wear it is a whole new experience.

As many of you know, I was married at 19 for 7 years. At one point someone said to me “Oh, you have had your ‘starter marriage’.” “STARTER MARRIAGE”??????? Um, sure??? I am not a fan of that concept, I understand the idea of a “starter home” by not a “starter marriage”.

Since then I have dated for 14 years and had some long term relationships, however even during all that time, the voice in my head would chime in and say “How do people actually get to the place of committing to marriage anyway?” I couldn’t make sense of it at the time. Now In retrospect, it is simple to see that internal voice was just making sure I would eventually find the right one and I get it now.

I look down at this ring and it says “commitment” to me in the most beautiful way. But staring right back at me is this huge UNKNOWN.

There are so many unknowns…things that have been on my radar but also things that I/we haven’t thought through completely.

It is scary to look down and know that I have literally committed to the unknown with Mike. The longer I linger in thoughts of the unknown, the more nauseated I get. It’s pure worry and I am sure there may be some place in your life that you can relate to that feeling.

When I snap out of that I think to myself “This unknown is WITH MIKE, my Mike.”

“We’ll figure it out” has rolled off our tongues so much to each other throughout our courtship. It is accompanied by this incredible I’ve-got-your-back energy, confidence, respect and honor and is followed by actually figuring things out together.

It is the most beautiful thing I have ever been involved in, the most innocent and precious connection.

We have not had a simple and easy road so far. We have been together for just over nine months but we have already scaled some walls and traversed some valleys that stood in our way. Something that is working in our favor is our age. I think when I was involved in my marriage at such an early age, as was Mike was as well, it is difficult to know who you are and what you want life to really look like. Also there is so much growth and evolution that happens through the 20s, it is simple to get set up in relationship patterns that will not go the distance.

We have both been there and have learned a lot along the way. The lessons have been interesting and some so painful it was often difficult to see any light. Neither of us fantasize about how easy marriage will be, but we do remain hopeful that things can remain simple.

What I have learned through 14 years of dating is that core values are the most important key to finding a partner. Deep core values NEED to line up. I have dated enough to know a little bit about connection and what questions to ask right from the start. When I was younger, it was difficult to ask the heavy hitting questions and that landed me in relationships that couldn’t endure he long haul.

So Mike and I had a lot of hard discussions right up front and vetted out some of the serious topics to be sure we lined up. Of course there will always be that work to do.

The other thing that has really built our foundation we bring up absolutely anything and everything that is on our minds, no matter what it is. Because of this we have been able to get to the roots of our personal challenges and have the hard talks about life and what we are looking for.

He is my safe place, my home and has been from the very beginning.

Together we will walk hand in hand into the unknown. From the outside this may look and sound like a match made in heaven with all rainbows and butterflies and unicorns. There are many obstacles, I will reveal more as time goes by, big obstacles that we have overcome already and some yet to be uncovered.

Jumping off the cliff into the unknown seems do-able with Mike. Father Time will be the great determiner and until then I will embrace the work, lean into the discomfort, have faith and put one foot in front of the other.

As I am writing this, I am curious to know more about you. I am curious if you have found yourself staring into the face of the unknown as well as maybe a hint or two about how you stepped in anyway. How did you do that? What did you bank on? Where was your courage sourced from? I think we can learn a lot from each other’s experiences. Leave your comments for me…