Tag: life lessons
“HELLO! HELLO! HELLO!”
“HELLO! HELLO! HELLO!” is such a familiar greeting in my childhood. “Mom, why does grandma say ‘Hello’ three times when we walk in?” my 7 year old self would ask as we walked into my grandmother’s home who lived just one mile down the street from where I grew up.
I just heard that familiar greeting as I am sitting in the living room at my grandmother’s home in her golf oasis in Florida as a few of her friends arrive for a visit. I have been here all weekend with some other family members as my grandmother moves nearer and nearer to THE final destination. Yes, she is dying. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not this week. Probably not next week or the week after. Within a month or two she will leave this earthly plane but in the meantime she is alive and living the best that she can and we are here to experience some of that.
I feel fortunate to be privy to some of the stories that are shared in such an intimate setting. I always knew my grandmother was strong, powerful, full of life and opinionated. However, as I sit and listen the stories this weekend (and of course stories I have heard over the years) she is also a real person with real life experiences, has had many ups and downs, has shed a lot of tears, has found love and happiness and has the most contagious, roaring laugh on the planet.
My Mom is here, a few aunts and uncles, with other neighborhood friends of my grandparent’s stopping by during the days. Grandma is spending most of the day relaxing, reminiscing and resting. We have done a lot of sitting and talking, literally hours of sitting and talking. We have all shed tears, shared stories, asked questions and done a ton of laughing. In fact, the first morning I woke up here, I thought to myself how great it is to be awakened from sleep by roaring family laughter, especially considering these circumstances.
During this time, we have drawn out the family tree. My grandmother birthed 10 children. My grandfather, who isn’t my grandfather by blood but has been “Grandpa” to me for close to 30 years, has 7 children of his own. There are layers of grandchildren and great grandchildren and the total count of immediate family comes to 96 people total. WOW!!! Isn’t that an absolute monstrosity of a family!!!
“It’s a myth that a big family is always happy. We have our share of tears, but there is a network support system that always goes into gear in time of need. My children were the reason I got up in the morning” a direct quote from my grandmother back in 1981 when she was voted “Mother of the Year” by the local Fenton newspaper at the time.
That “network support system” has always been a central idea to how our family was run and I see it in my generation, especially when it comes to my own siblings and nearest and dearest. That theme is a powerful part of what my life was built around especially considering my dad was one of his own natural support network of 9 children.
There is nothing like family, absolutely nothing that can replace these blood connections. When family gets to these numbers, there are good eggs and bad eggs, however we are all connected and always will be connected in a way that runs strong and deep behind the scenes…and largely due to the ideas of the amazing matriarch that started this show.
My grandmother is a legend and one of my heroes. I know she will never truly grasp in this lifetime the extent of her extraordinary life and contribution to this world. She will never realize what an amazing person she is, her beauty, her strength and how much good she contributed while she is here. But her faith is strong and I know she will figure that out as soon as she sheds her current failing body.
When she leaves this earthly plane, she will travel effortlessly to wherever she believes Heaven is and I know God will know when she arrives because he will hear her roaring laughter and her infamous “HELLO! HELLO! HELLO!”. May peace be with you in your process of transitioning, Grandma, and thanks in advance for watching over all 95 of us from the other side.
HAPPY
This past weekend I was up north and spent my days snowboarding at Crystal Mountain. There were many, many moments during the days that I thought to myself “I am happy”. I then asked the question “What makes me happy?” and “What about everyone else?”.
I live a blessed life and I have many things that add to my happiness. In those moments while I was out on my 
snowboard, my happiness was magnified by the fact that I had a warm bed to wake up in, I prepared and ate a great breakfast that fueled my body for my day, I had time to play in the snow, the sun was shining, I was enjoying great conversation with a friend, I was able to let loose and fly down the hill on my snowboard and I was up north which is a change of day to day scenery.
I thought to myself “I really wish everyone that I know could be out here having as much fun as I was having.” That thought was soon nixed by the fact that the slopes would be too crowded if EVERYONE I knew was out there, but it transformed to “I really wish everyone that I know could be doing something that would add to their happiness as much as snowboarding in the sunshine adds to mine.” Yes, that is a much more rational thought.
When I mention the thought of being happy, I am also reminded of a man that has been coming in to get adjusted at the Cafe of LIFE for years and never, ever gets excited about anything; Monday is not exciting, Tuesday is not exciting, Wednesday is not exciting, Thursday is not exciting, Friday is not exciting, the weekend is not exciting, literally nothing is ever exciting and I wonder about his internal happiness. My thought is…WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?!?!
Last night I attended a prayer service for an icon of a man who lost his life way too young. This man was truly a happy man and he did his very best to show others a little bit about being happy ever chance he got in hopes he could help them smile a little more on the inside. As I listened to his children speak about him, I was reminded of my own mortality and that we are never guaranteed a tomorrow and that life is really short, often shorter than we anticipate…so figure out what makes you happy and go do that!
Be HAPPY! There is absolutely no time like the present. If not today, then WHEN?!?! There isn’t anyone who is going to make you happy, you have to go out and make that happen for yourself. Let’s not wait one more day. Get out there!!!
What makes you happy? How do you add happy stuff to your day? Share in the comments below, you may end up inspiring someone with your ideas or the things you do.
WHAT IF LIFE IS ABOUT SOMETHING DIFFERENT
I attended an amazing lecture with some really good friends this past weekend. The presenter/author touched on a really important topic…WHAT IF LIFE IS ABOUT SOMETHING DIFFERENT than we have always thought?
In this culture we have been taught that life goes something like this…
Grow up. Get the education, Get the job. Get the boy. Get the girl. Get the car. Get the house. Get the time off for vacation. Get the kids. Get more kids. Get the bigger house. Get the better car. Get the toys. Get the better toys. Get the good retirement. Get better stuff than the neighbors. Get the grandkids. Get retired and live happily ever after.
Is it possible that our understanding or life itself is totally askew? Maybe there is data missing and the whole human race is after the wrong stuff. How is it that 7 billion (+ or -) people declare they want the same thing and not be able to attain it after thousands of years of trying.
The lecturer presented the idea that maybe life is more about the following:
Be authentically you.
Figure out what it means to be you.
Then move about and express yourself in this world in a way that allows others to express themselves in a way that is more true to their own soul as well.
I think it is pretty safe to say that our job is to search and seek out ways for us to know ourselves better and to figure out our purpose and meaning in this life. We are not our physical appearance, the things we have, our education, our car, our job, our partner or our kids. We are simply us and stripping it all down to the very core of what that means is WE ARE LOVE. The rest of the stuff and things are just a very small piece of life. Our bodies are the vehicle that gets us around in this world so that we can have experiences. Beyond that, life is about relationships and how our words, thoughts and actions affect other people’s words, thoughts and actions.
The end of the lecture was a culmination of all that he said and 3 simple “call to action” steps that we can take as we travel through our days.
1. LOOK AT PEOPLE – really look at them because we all have a strong desire to be seen and the “eyes are a window to the soul”.
2. SMILE – Smiling at another means “I get what I am looking at. I get you.” If you are happy in your life, make sure to tell your face about it so it can be your loudspeaker to the world around you.
3. TOUCH – Reach out and make contact with someone. Our culture walks around severely deprived of physical touch and it is a necessary part of being a human.
…and a little bit of icing on the cake – SAY SOMETHING NICE – tell people how wondrous they are and give them back to themselves.
Can we really afford to walk around one more day not expressing ourselves and holding back from showing the world love? The days go quick and this life is really short and we only get one chance.
“We never know how something that we think, say or do today will effect the lives of millions tomorrow.” -BJ Palmer
Let’s make it count because what if life really IS about something different than we have always thought?
THANK YOU
I need to say THANK YOU to all of you. I have made one HUGE transition since the beginning of this year and it is making a world of difference. I finally changed our afternoon hours at the Cafe of LIFE!
Over the past few months, we had numerous requests for our
afternoon hours to begin at 3pm instead of 3:30pm. In combination with that, we were finding that our 6-6:30pm time slot has been quiet and since the time change this past fall, it really felt like we were working super late into the night with how dark it is. So after a couple years of deliberation (this one I have been considering for quite some time) we have made the switch.
And I AM THRILLED!!! I have spent the past 8 years serving others and at times, have made sacrifices in my own life in order to do so. Getting out at 6:30 Monday through Thursday would limit me. Seems so many events, classes, concerts and such that I wanted to attend would start at 7 and be close to an hour away from Fenton (everything seems an hour away from Fenton for some reason). I would have to decline offer after offer over the years. There were classes at the gym that I never could make due to my schedule. Leaving at 6:30 meant that I could pretty much do one thing and then the night would be over and its time for bed.
Some of you may be thinking…its a mere 30 minutes she is talking about here. What is the big deal?
There is a lot that can be done in 30 minutes…a good cardio workout, make a delicious dinner, drive half way to Detroit, drive half way to the Wharton Center, have a meaningful conversation, make a phone call to catch up with a friend, run a 5K, bike one loop around Kensington, drive to Pine Knob Amphitheater, eat dinner at a restaurant, have a glass of wine, drink a glass of champagne, make a few runs on my snowboard at Mt. Holly, sleep…there is a LOT one can do in 30 minutes!
Then multiply that by 4 (days a week that I get out a half hour early) and then multiply that by 50 weeks of work in a year and that turns into 6,000 extra minutes in the evening per year…and there is a WHOLE LOT one can do in 6,000 minutes!!! You get my point. And it is 6,000 minutes more for me and 6,000 minutes more for Angie who, mind you, has a little one to tend to in the evenings.
So I am saying THANK YOU because i haven’t heard one negative comment about us shifting our hours. Thank you for being so understanding. Thank you for allowing me to take back a little portion of my life. Over the past 6 working days, I have had tremendous guilt for leaving a half hour early but I recognize that is all self manifested guilt and that not one person is making me feel that way besides myself. It may take me the next 8 years before I am used to leaving at 6…but I am looking forward to making the most of those 48,000 extra minutes while I am doing it. Thank you!
LIFE IS A ROLLER COASTER
It’s been quite a few years since I rode a roller coaster. I had dinner with a friend the other night and they had mentioned that Cedar Point http://www.cedarpoint.com has a new “fast pass” that makes the day so much more enjoyable with faster lines. There is a behind the scenes entrance to all the major rides and when people are waiting 1-2 hours for a ride, this “fast pass” line takes about 20 minutes. It is over double the price of a normal ticket but worth every penny!
Once I decided to go and roped a friend to go with me, my goal was to ride a couple of my favorite roller coasters, the Maverick and the Millennium Force, all day long…and that is exactly what we did. I love both of these roller coasters for different reasons. Millennium Force is just plain HUGE and really fast, rising to 310 feet, 80 degree drop, and traveling at 93 miles per hour. The Maverick is a totally different beast and travels a mere 70mph but is full of twists and turns and tunnels and is meant to mimic a rodeo.
The lines moved so quickly it was actually worth waiting a couple extra minutes to ride in the front seat of the Maverick. It is a game changer to experience that ride from the front seat. You get to see everything first hand and shooting up and over a hill with a 95 degree drop (more than vertical) really gets the butterflies and adrenaline moving! From there it is up and over another hill, twist one way, twist the other, over, under and around for about 2 min 30 sec. In the middle there is a pitch black tunnel that you come to a complete stop in. Anxiety builds while sitting in the dark waiting for the next phase. You are then blasted through and out of the tunnel and twist one way, then then other, over under and around again until you come to a complete stop at the end. Go try it sometime…it is a wild rush!
Of course as I am riding this ride over and over, I am thinking about how it relates to life. Life has its ups and downs. As soon as we are up, we are down, and when we reach the bottom, we are already heading back up. Life twists one way, we make a correction and it twists the other way. We get over things, we feel pinned down under things. Just when we have given up and stop to close our eyes and reflect, it is time to open them back up as we are slingshot out of a dark tunnel and more ups and downs and twists and turns. WOW!!!
So what are we supposed to do? How can we gracefully maneuver this ride called LIFE? When I get in line for these roller coasters, I am nervous every single time. I don’t care if I rode that ride 3 times already that day, I am still nervous when I strap myself in. I bank on the fact that there are loads of people, on a daily basis, making it to the end alive and well. I realize if I am strapped into the seat correctly, I have a really good chance of making it safely.
This idea doesn’t work quite so easily and readily for real life because there are no seats, harnesses or seat belts. I relate the harness and seat belt to our ideas and concepts about the world and the seat is the solid foundation we build on. If we figure out what our core values are, keep a positive attitude, and keep laying down a good, solid foundation, we will make it through the ups and downs and twists and turns quite gracefully.
When you get a chance to take a wild ride on a roller coaster, DO IT! When you realize your own life is the roller coaster, EMBRACE IT! Have some fun with it and know that if you have employed the proper harness and seat belt, though its not possible to come out of life alive (that is just against the rules), we can have an enjoyable ride!
Can you relate? Have you been on a wild ride, either literally or figuratively? I would love to hear your stories!
LIFE MOVES ON
This past weekend I felt very blessed to reconnect with some good friends of mine after years of being apart. As many of you know, I got married when I was 19 years old. I know, I know…what on Earth was I thinking, right? I sometimes laugh when people tell me they get the impression that I have my life together. All I have to say to that is you should have seen me when I was 19!!! The difference between then and now is that at 19 I didn’t have anything figured out and I thought I did, and now I still don’t have anything figured out and 
I know and have accepted that its possible I never will. Life is an amazing teacher and the more we live, the more we learn, or at least I can only speak for myself.
On Saturday I got to spend some time with my ex-husband’s family. He, and they, were part of my life for 10 years. He was not there this weekend but his sister, whom I was pretty close with, was home visiting family. She called ahead of time to let me know her, her husband and their NEW BABY were going to be in the area and that it would be great to share a meal. It worked out that we met at my ex-in-law’s (I really do not like that phrase) home and sat around the table with her parents and ate lunch.
It was a wonderful couple of hours as there was so much to catch up on. Being in someone’s life for that long, really gets one intertwined in all of the family’s life happenings. We caught up about family, extended family, life events, work, dreams for the future, and of course I got to meet her new baby. The time spent was wonderful, priceless and I feel so blessed. These people were a very big part of my life from the time I was 17 to the end of my 20s. Those are some impressionable years and in each their own way, they helped shape me to be the person I am today. I am forever grateful for their love, support, genrosity, compassion, reliability, entertainment, fun, teaching and connection. They are all near and dear friends of mine though our lives don’t allow for the “near” part of that equation much anymore.
My divorce was very amicable and after being best friends for almost 10 years, we had promised to keep in touch as LIFE MOVES ON. That has gone to the wayside as he is busy with work, a new family and a new baby of his own and my life is busy as well. I am forever grateful for all the adventures we had and all that we taught each other and learned together. I am forever grateful to his family and feel blessed to reconnect from time to time.
LIFE DOES MOVE ON. I still do not have anything figured out though I feel blessed to have these and other angels come and guide me though parts of my own personal journey. My heart overflows with gratitude. Thank you…you all know who you are.
MANEUVERING THIS LIFE
Yesterday I found myself pulling up to a stop sign behind a “Student Driver” car. I happened to be driving behind her (yes I could tell it was a female) and realized it when there were no cars coming either direction but the car didn’t move. Of course with how busy life is these days, it seems like our minds cannot just sit and be delayed even one second without questioning the motives of the person in front of us…and that is when I spotted the signage on the car.
I had a quick flashback to that first day of driver’s education class and I started to wonder w
hat that class would be like these days. My curiosity got the best of me and so I followed (notice I didn’t say tailgated) this driver for a couple miles. It happened to be on my direct route to my next errand so please do not think I was stalking this new student driver…but I guess in a way, I was. I could have gone around her at any moment however I soon realized that it was better to be behind her than anywhere else!!!
She swerved between the lines that marked the road. She went to get on the highway, which was a right turn, and put her left blinker on then caught herself and switched it. Because she was focused so much on the blinker, she completely forgot about the brake pedal and took that turn at a rate of speed I would have been afraid for my life. Then it was the merge into traffic that almost didn’t happen, 50 max speed on the highway swerving inside the lane lines, hitting some rumble strips, taking an exit at a similarly alarming speed as the first turn I witnessed, and slamming on the brakes to the stop sign. I then saw the instructor reach over and grab the wheel as they headed into another turn…God bless those driving instructors…and God bless the runner that was on the side of the road she was about to encounter.
I was astounded that they are allowed to be behind the wheel with such little skill, but that is coming from a girl that was raised on an apple orchard and learned to drive before my 10th birthday…and when it comes down to it, everyone has to start somewhere.
This young driver can teach us so much about maneuvering life!!! Slow life down at the stops and enjoy the scenery for a moment. When you think you are turning left, maybe life wants you to turn right and take things at “inappropriate” speeds. Merging into the flow of what everyone else is doing is sometimes necessary, but take things at your own speed. There are lines drawn for us, but remember that sometimes fun happens outside the lines and the rumble strips make a fun noise and brings us back to being a child. Sometimes exiting a situation at high speeds is necessary and stopping abruptly saves us. In the end, it is often nice to have some guidance from someone who has more experience than us and we never know who is watching us and learning from our mistakes.
We only get one chance in this lifetime…I want to thank this young driver for teaching me so much over those 2 short miles!
THE FIRST OF 19
Over the past week, my family and I have been mourning the loss of my aunt. Have I told you that my Mom is one of ten kids and my Dad is one of nine? So to say I come from a HUGE family is a slight understatement. My Aunt Lisa was the youngest of my Mom’s siblings and she is also the very youngest of all 19 of them. She died of a heart attack and it was shock to the entire family and everyone in her life at a mere 50 years of age.
Being from such a large family, when tragic things happen, everyone pulls together. We spent 4 full days together talking about the incident, her life, her contributions and where the family will go from here. The 
conversations were sprinkled with bouts of crying and fits of laughter. We are not short of comedians in our family and the mixture of the humor and the sadness does an interesting thing to the physiology and helps things to process. I am sure you have found yourself in an intense moment that was interrupted by a shift created from laughter.
I learned a lot from sitting around and listening to the stories that were shared. Two important lessons have surfaced from it all that I wanted to share with you.
LESSON #1 : SHOW UP! My Aunt Gail, one of Lisa’s sisters said one of the things that came to mind when she thought about Lisa was that “She showed up.” It is so true…whenever there was something going on, or someone needed something, Lisa showed up. She showed up for family functions and parties. She showed up for her husband and 3 children. She showed up for her own friends and friends of her children. She showed up for the family. She showed up at work and for her co-workers. She showed up. This concept makes me look at my life and ask the question…”Am I showing up?” And furthermore, “How am I showing up?” and “Am I giving it 100%?”
LESSON #2: PLAY FULL OUT! If life was a game, Aunt Lisa played full out. She always had a good time. She celebrated a lot and was usually in the middle of any conversation that was happening. If she didn’t start the conversation but wanted to be in it…you would her her raspy voice say, slightly under her breath, “What are you guys talking about?”. If she was around in the room, you probably could hear her laugh. Somewhere in the Callard lineage there is a gene for loud laughter, and she expressed that gene strongly. After the funeral on Monday, I heard someone say, “You know, she was only 50 when she passed, however she lived more in those 50 years than others do who live into their 80s or 90s.” What a great awareness and awesome perspective to have on what seemed to be a life cut short.
My first real memories of Aunt Lisa were when I would babysit for her children. At the time, she happened to be living in the same subdivision where I currently live and though the house is no longer there, I have vivid memories of being there a lot. Over the past few months I have spent quite a bit of time running the roads around my house, passing that location twice per run and of course, like I do a lot, thinking about life.
With the sudden passing of Lisa last week, and her funeral just a couple days ago, along with my regular morning runs and thoughts about life, that particular location has new meaning to me. I will forever hold it as a place during my runs where I turn inside and remember to SHOW UP everyday and in every way in my life and PLAY FULL OUT! What better way to start the day than with reminders like that. I haven’t dealt with much death up to this point in my life, and am of course dreading the idea of the other 18 passing, however there are always lessons to learn about LIFE from both living and dying…and for that, I am grateful. Thank you Aunt Lisa for those very important lessons and may you rest peacefully.
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I AM AMAZED EVERYTIME!
I have done my fair share of traveling in my life and have spent a lot of time on planes since I moved home in 2004. I always try to get a window seat because I love seeing what there is to see while we sit and wait for the plane to take off. I am also the one with my nose glued to the glass during portions of the flight and of course the landing. More often than not, prior to take-off I find myself in a daze watching as these huge planes ar
e filled with people and luggage. I am amazed the logistical phenomenon that is our airline systems…I mean really, how on Earth do they get all those bags to the right spots?!?! I marvel in the simple fact that something that big could fly through the air and carry people comfortably from one location to some place completely different. I know our civilization has been flying for years and years, and I myself have taken numerous flights…but I am so fascinated by the concept of flight. Loading up in Detroit in the middle of winter and arriving in Costa Rica, in a totally different country, climate and culture…that is totally awesome!
With how intense (in a good way) my life is at home, coupled with my ability to completely relax on vacation, flying somewhere sometimes feels like getting on a time machine. The last 2 weeks of March was a very intensely stressful time for me. In the middle of the 2 weeks, it just so happened that I had a trip to Colorado planned. I got to a boiling point and since my trip to Colorado was mostly for fun, I almost backed out of going. After asking a bunch of questions and weighing a few things, I decided to go…and what perfect timing! I left the crazy chaos going on here and as soon as I sat down on the plane, it all melted away. In a short 2.5 hour plane ride, I was half way across the country, with great friends, beautiful sunshine and peace of mind to enjoy the weekend. It truly is amazing to “sit in a chair in the air” and end up thousands of miles away. The following link is one of my favorites…half way through is when he starts his discussion about flight and he hits the nail on the head…I laugh so hard every time I watch this.
His whole concept of “Everything is Amazing and Nobody is Happy” is so right on. Take a look around and find a little something to be amazed by and grateful for. So many of the thigns around you are absolutely amazing…even the simple fact that I can write this blog sitting at my desk and my Grandmother can read it from her home in Florida…and you can read it from wherever you are!! This LIFE truly is AMAZING!!! …and we only get one chance.