living – Page 3 – We Only Get One Chance

FOLLOWING MY BLISS

I am a rule-follower. I was born that way. I have always had a keen sense of what was right and wrong and always chose the former. Over the years I have also learned that some really great experiences come from following my bliss.

I had an incredible day this past Sunday. The best part was riding bikes in downtown Detroit. I have grown to really love that city. It has come a long way and still has a long way to go, but if you haven’t been down there lately, make it a point to spend an afternoon right downtown.

As my friend and I were riding bikes, there was this constant “hum” in the background of the city. After a bit, we realized it was coming from the Chevrolet Grand Prix that was happening on Belle Isle that day. Curiosity was piqued and we headed that direction.

Fenton Chiropractor Grand Prix

Mobs of people, buses and police cars clogged up the streets on Belle Isle and so it was perfect to be riding a pedal bike and we gained quick access to the area.

I have never understood the draw to auto racing. It always just seemed like cars endlessly going around in circles. I began to slightly understand it when I first started checking and adjusting some race car drivers in my chiropractic office, Cafe of LIFE. The intense stress their bodies are in during those races, for an extended period of time, in that position…I am not sure you can compare it to any other sport. Chiropractic care has helped these gentleman as they chase their passion of going faster than the rest.

As I approached the track, I could tell that without having a ticket, we were going to have limited viewing capability. We pulled our bikes into a parking lot and I began scanning the area for the best spot. As I got closer and closer to the track, it was absolutely amazing how fast these cars were going. I have never seen anything like it. And then to think there are guys in those cars, making split second decisions for hours at a time…it truly was incredible.

I found a small utility pole that was close to the fence and was the perfect size for 2 size 8.5 feet to stand on comfortably. It was about 2.5 feet off the ground so it gave me clear view of the track and was about 20 feet away from where the cars were driving. I had a really great view.

My “rule-following” mind said, that is not an okay thing to stand on…who knows what it actually is…it could break…I am sure someone will tell me to get down.

But I got up there anyway and, with my fingers in my ears to block out some of the intense noise, I stood and enjoyed a bit of the Grand Prix race.

Down the way I could see an ATV with some policemen heading my direction. I was pretty convinced they were coming over to tell me to get down. As I watched them approach, I was thinking that if I don’t actually make eye contact with them, they may just pass me by.

Fenton Chiropractor Grand Prix 1

I could feel them approach. I pretended they weren’t there. I could sense them bring their vehicle to a stop and I acted as though I had no idea and because my fingers were in my ears, I could also pretend that I couldn’t hear whatever requests they were giving me. I was enjoying the race from my perch and I really didn’t want to get down.

It got to a point when I could no longer ignore them sitting there behind me. I had to turn around as I was approaching the amount of time that “ignorance” turns to just plain “rudeness” by not acknowledging them. I knew my fun was over.

I turned around and smiled at the officers and to my surprise…they were trying to get my attention to be able to hand me a SET OF EARPLUGS!!!!I

I was shocked and so thankful. And then I started laughing at myself and my internal dialogue that led up to that moment. I know better than to make assumptions. I was creating anxiety inside of myself because of that assumption, which also led to beliefs that were not true.

Now…by no means am I encouraging you to participate in delinquent behavior, stand on utility poles or disobey any rules. I do want to encourage you to attend the Grand Prix the “right” way and purchase a ticket. Above all that, I want to encourage you to follow your bliss. Have more fun with your day to day stuff and seek out adventures.

As I look back, I consider that day one of my most favorite days of this year so far. It wasn’t filled with exciting things, it was just a day of hanging with a friend, riding bikes, no obligations and chance to go on an adventure following my bliss.

A SMILE

Never underestimate the power of a smile.

Did you wake up smiling today? Have you smiled yet? Why? How many times? At who? In what setting?

I am realizing as time ticks by, and the wrinkles start to set into my face, the most noticeable ones are my smile lines and I am pretty alright with that.

“A smile is the shortest distance between two people.”

Fenton Chiropractor Smile — Scott and Danielle 2012

A smile stands for connection, joy, hope, happiness, love, compassion, peace and understanding. However, it can also portray nervousness, anxiety and uncertainty. The default expression that crosses my face for any and all of the above is a smile, hence by deep smile lines, often accompanied by giggles or uncontrollable laughter. That is just my style.

I see a lot of pregnant mothers in my chiropractic practice and I get to watch as they spend their first weeks together with their new babies. I think the first time the baby smiles is one of a new parent’s proudest moments. But once they start doing it, they usually do a lot of smiling. That is what we do as humans and it gets to a point that the initial excitement wears off a bit and smiles become a normal part of life, we begin to take that expression for granted.

The last blog post I wrote was about My First Best Friend and how my cousin’s husband suffered a brain bleed and we almost lost him. I shared a bit of their story and I wanted to do a quick update so that you know that he is alive and slowly recovering.

His recovery is being facilitated by his beautiful wife and today marks their 3rd wedding anniversary. They will spend the day in the hospital, as all the days of the past 6 weeks have been spent there. He is nowhere ready to move or be transported yet…and so he is there in his bed and sometimes in a chair…and she sits. She spends endless hours talking to him, encouraging him, doing small movement exercises with him, cheering him on as he responds to commands and just loving him. It is the essence of true love and is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.

My life does not allow me to visit daily but I keep in touch and let her know I am supporting from a distance. Yesterday I got the following message from her:

“I finally got him to smile. It was the most wonderful thing I have ever seen…”

This message made me realize how much we take smiles from our loved ones for granted. We walk on by and maybe smile back, maybe even hold back a smile out of resentment or disdain. I never realized how important a smile was until that message yesterday.

There are so many hours of silence in that hospital room. In 6 weeks time, there are only so many one-sided conversations to be had, but that doesn’t stop her. She plays music for him and reads to him while he wakes up a bit and falls back to sleep.

Many people have sent cards, well-wishes and inspiration and one wall has a small collection that they review on a regular basis. It is one of the things that really stimulates him so I would like to make a simple request. If you are reading this, please take a blank piece of paper and write them a little encouragement and put it in an envelope and send it in the mail to:

Danielle and Scott Hawkins
C/O Cafe of LIFE Chiropractic
521 N. Leroy St.
Fenton, MI 48430

For the cost of a stamp (of course greeting cards are always welcome as well), we can hopefully collectively encourage these smiles and healing moments inside of him.

As I wrote in my Facebook status last week, to most of you, Danielle and Scott are perfect strangers. I promise, promise, promise that if you knew them, you would love them too.

Please send a smile to them, a little encouragement, a little love…and then spend a little more time in your smile mode today and in the future. The great thing about smiles is you will never run out. Spread them around!!! We only get one chance…

ITS A FEELING

People often ask me about my chiropractic office the Cafe of LIFE. For years, I have tried to really explain what it is like in here…but honestly, it is more about a feeling.

Its a feeling that you can maybe understand if you had pictures and words and could see the inside of the office and hear a story.

That is exactly what we have done in creating the clip below. I have had great feedback so far and just wanted to share with you a little about what I mean when I say “Its a feeling…”.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ht7tC9CLe8[/youtube]

Please feel free to share with your friends and family or connect with us on Facebook. It truly is a feeling. See you soon!!

EARTH DAY CLEANUP 2013

Come join us for EARTH DAY CLEANUP 2013!!! We need all the help we can get!!! May 4th…details on the flyer!

AM I REALLY LIVING?

I physically connect with a few hundred different people per week through service at my chiropractic office Cafe of LIFE, my book club, the gym, the yoga studio and other things that I am involved in. A large portion of those people are connected with me through Facebook as well and I make a conscious effort to share my life experiences along the way through that medium. I get a lot of feedback and people say things like “Wow! You are all over the map!”, or “You are so free and do so many things!” or “You are always doing something fun.” or…well you get the picture. I absolutely live a blessed life and am always trying to be involved in rich, rewarding experiences. But am I REALLY living?

You may ask yourself, “what exactly does she mean ‘REALLY living’?”

I was reading a book about 3 weeks ago which presented this new-to-me concept of what it means to REALLY LIFE life. To REALLY LIVE life, I need to find myself stepping outside my comfort zone so that I can expand my ideas, concepts and limitations so that I may continue to grow and evolve.

I spend a lot of time by myself and I love going on adventures and make it a point to look at most experiences as great adventures…but lately I am asking myself, how adventurous am I really?

I have a lot of free time and sometimes I will see an event posted somewhere that I think will be really fun to attend, I have the time free and I really want to go…but I hold back because I don’t want to be the one to show up alone. “What will people think if I am there by myself?” “What if all the seats are in pairs and I am sitting there with an empty seat next to me?” “What if everyone is talking in groups and no one wants to strike up a conversation with me and so I awkwardly stand off to the side alone?” “If only I could find a friend to go with me and I will be comfortable.”

I also come across events happening in places I have never been and I am held back from going by thoughts like “How am I going to be able to navigate traffic and parking?” “What if I have the wrong shoes and end up having to walk a long distance?” “What if I don’t want to participate once I arrive?” “What if it is a really bad experience?”

If I only participate in events that I know exactly what is happening when I get there and who will be in attendance…am I REALLY living? If all the details are already known, and everything plays out as anticipated, how am I going to grow, expand and evolve from that experience?

When I heard this idea, just 3 weeks ago, that maybe I was not REALLY living, I vowed to myself that if something came up that I really wanted to do, and I couldn’t find anyone else who could or would want to go, then I will still go anyway. I will show up alone, to unknown places, and unknown people and get involved in activities that I do not know all the details ahead of time just to see what will happen and how it will pan out. Why not? I have nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain!

So I have started…I began with a new yoga studio that I had heard about and have wanted to try for some time now…and ended up having the most intense and amazing yoga experience of my life thus far. While I was at that class, I was inspired to attend a class at the same location just a couple days later that turned out to be one of the most amazing experiences of live music and yoga I have been involved in thus far. So now that I have had such great reward from stepping outside my usual and customary routine in life, I am inspired to do so much more…and I can tell this is going to snowball since I have only lived in this new thinking pattern for 3 weeks…which is a really great thing and gets me even more jazzed up about life than I already was so WATCH OUT WORLD!!!!

I am looking forward to more great adventures and trust me, when they present themselves…I am jumping because I AM REALLY LIVING THIS LIFE!!!! Do you have a recent story that helps you relate to the idea of REALLY living life? I would love if you would share and be an inspiration for me and others to keep stepping outside our comfort zone, since that is where life happens. We only get one chance…

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE…

“HELLO! HELLO! HELLO!”

“HELLO! HELLO! HELLO!” is such a familiar greeting in my childhood. “Mom, why does grandma say ‘Hello’ three times when we walk in?” my 7 year old self would ask as we walked into my grandmother’s home who lived just one mile down the street from where I grew up.

I just heard that familiar greeting as I am sitting in the living room at my grandmother’s home in her golf oasis in Florida as a few of her friends arrive for a visit. I have been here all weekend with some other family members as my grandmother moves nearer and nearer to THE final destination. Yes, she is dying. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not this week. Probably not next week or the week after. Within a month or two she will leave this earthly plane but in the meantime she is alive and living the best that she can and we are here to experience some of that.

I feel fortunate to be privy to some of the stories that are shared in such an intimate setting. I always knew my grandmother was strong, powerful, full of life and opinionated. However, as I sit and listen the stories this weekend (and of course stories I have heard over the years) she is also a real person with real life experiences, has had many ups and downs, has shed a lot of tears, has found love and happiness and has the most contagious, roaring laugh on the planet.

My Mom is here, a few aunts and uncles, with other neighborhood friends of my grandparent’s stopping by during the days. Grandma is spending most of the day relaxing, reminiscing and resting. We have done a lot of sitting and talking, literally hours of sitting and talking. We have all shed tears, shared stories, asked questions and done a ton of laughing. In fact, the first morning I woke up here, I thought to myself how great it is to be awakened from sleep by roaring family laughter, especially considering these circumstances.

During this time, we have drawn out the family tree. My grandmother birthed 10 children. My grandfather, who isn’t my grandfather by blood but has been “Grandpa” to me for close to 30 years, has 7 children of his own. There are layers of grandchildren and great grandchildren and the total count of immediate family comes to 96 people total. WOW!!! Isn’t that an absolute monstrosity of a family!!!

“It’s a myth that a big family is always happy. We have our share of tears, but there is a network support system that always goes into gear in time of need. My children were the reason I got up in the morning” a direct quote from my grandmother back in 1981 when she was voted “Mother of the Year” by the local Fenton newspaper at the time.

That “network support system” has always been a central idea to how our family was run and I see it in my generation, especially when it comes to my own siblings and nearest and dearest. That theme is a powerful part of what my life was built around especially considering my dad was one of his own natural support network of 9 children.

There is nothing like family, absolutely nothing that can replace these blood connections. When family gets to these numbers, there are good eggs and bad eggs, however we are all connected and always will be connected in a way that runs strong and deep behind the scenes…and largely due to the ideas of the amazing matriarch that started this show.

My grandmother is a legend and one of my heroes. I know she will never truly grasp in this lifetime the extent of her extraordinary life and contribution to this world. She will never realize what an amazing person she is, her beauty, her strength and how much good she contributed while she is here. But her faith is strong and I know she will figure that out as soon as she sheds her current failing body.

When she leaves this earthly plane, she will travel effortlessly to wherever she believes Heaven is and I know God will know when she arrives because he will hear her roaring laughter and her infamous “HELLO! HELLO! HELLO!”. May peace be with you in your process of transitioning, Grandma, and thanks in advance for watching over all 95 of us from the other side.

HUNKER DOWN

This past weekend I spent hunkered down and studying. It was the perfect weekend to do just that and I was so grateful to have the time.

The holidays were crazy busy and the beginning of the year was the same. This past weekend fell into the perfect spot, and from this point forward, life will be busy again. I also found an appreciation for the “January thaw” that happened as there wasn’t even an option to snowboard and that took one more possible distraction off my list.

When I tell people that I hunkered down and studied this past weekend, I find them trying to figure out what in the heck am I studying at this point in my life?

I am studying me…and what makes me, me. Over the years I have found that the more light that shines onto our life, the darker the shadows get meaning when life gets really, really good, dim corners begin to take on a new level of darkness.

Some look at me and my life and automatically think that it must have always been this good. Not true.

Ad astra per aspera. — “to the stars through difficulties”

This statement is a great summery of LIFE. I have had some serious ups and downs that have shaped me to who I am today.

You may not know that I grew up in a home seriously challenged with alcoholism. To add to that, I grew up with 3 brothers and finding yourself on the short end of the 3 versus 1 game on a daily basis was just plain hard. I found refuge in escaping to my horse barn and spending hours braiding my horses’ manes and tails.

I was always a good student and did my very best to be absolutely perfect so as to not ruffle any feathers. I was, and still am, a massive overachiever because I have found that is the safest way to maneuver this life.

Did you know that I got married when I was 19? And that I was married for 7 years? I divorced when I was 26 years old and moved home to Fenton 2 years later after I finished chiropractic college. Because I divorced during school that required 35 hours a week of mandatory attendance, working part time, and taking test after test and national boards that are determining my next move in my career, there is not a lot of time to sit and process things. So when I moved home 2 years later, I fell into a depression. I was able to function but just barely for about 2 months. I had no idea what I was going to do, where I was going or how I was going to get there. The best I could do was to promise myself to get out of bed every single day and do something that furthered me down the path to opening a practice, even if that meant buying one pack of pens because that was all the motivation I could find that day…but all I really wanted to do was hide.

These are just a few of my own personal struggles…of course you know me well enough to know that I will not air it all on here but these are a fraction of the challenges and obstacles I have experienced. I also realize that these struggles may seem simple as compared to what you have been through in your lifetime. I have come to the conclusion that life is for living and learning.

Nothing in my life has been handed to me. I have worked very, very hard at creating what I have and I am often in tears of gratitude that I get to express myself in this life in the way I do.

For me, there is ALWAYS “excavating” that needs to be done. I do my best to not take life to seriously however from time to time it is right and necessary to get serious and start digging. In order to genuinely express myself in my life, I need to take time to look at the things that hold me back, the fears I have, the misconceptions and internal obstacles that stand in my way of living fully.

This past weekend I had set time aside to do just that. I belong to an amazing Book Club that helps me excavate on a regular basis, but I also need to pull some of the wounds open on my own, debride, apply some salve and let them remain open and uncovered as they heal.

So I hunkered down and did some of that last weekend so that I can show up in my world in the best way possible. In the technological age that we live in, it is so simple to keep ourselves so busy we never get time to just sit and think. We go and go and go, and when we have a moment to sit, we pick up our phones, iPads, laptops or turn on the TV and get some screen time in instead of taking time to be and sit and think. When was the last time you had a moment to think about things? I would like to challenge you to take a moment between all of your obligations, and instead of filling it with screen time, just think. Some quick “easy” questions to ask…Who am I? What is the meaning of my life? What is my purpose? Where did I come from? Where am I going? and How am I going to get there? You do not need to do serious excavating to begin to express more of the life you want…but taking time to sit and think would do us all a lot of good.

ITS THE SIMPLE THINGS

It’s the simple things…It has been an absolutely beautiful day! I got to wake up in the beautiful state of Vermont this morning. I had the most delicious breakfast that the sweetest man made for me. We packed up the car and drove 40 minutes up to the beautiful little town of Stowe, Vermont. There is a beautiful chiropractic practice filled with people here that he has to tend to…I continue on up to the mountain, gear up and am out on the slopes by 8:30.

There isn’t a whole lot of natural snow but Stowe Mountain Resort does an amazing job with their man-made snow…and it allows me a chance to strap on my snowboard!!! It is obvious they take a lot of pride in their mountain and the snow conditions they prepare for us to ride on. There are just a couple lifts open and maybe 4-6 runs with snow enough to get on them. The morning is brisk but the sun in shining and the view from the top is absolutely breathtaking. It is in these moments that I am surrounded by so much beauty that I have an overwhelming feeling of being so grateful for my life!

I cruise for a while, getting the most out of each run. I wish I could explain the feeling on a snowboard, for those of you who have never been. It is a controlled slipping and sliding. There is some of it that you can take charge of, however so much is about finding the best line down the run and committing. It isn’t an adrenaline thing for me…for some, I am sure it is. For me, it is about being so present to the conditions, so conscious of the next move that there isn’t time to think about one other thing. It is meditative, freeing and makes me feel so ALIVE!!!
I meet up with a couple new friends and do a few runs with them to finish the morning.

It is lunchtime and in just a short 15 minute drive is that sweetest man that made me breakfast this morning…he will be needing to find lunch as well, so I join him. In this small town of Stowe, there is some really incredible hippie restaurants that are simple and easy. It is quite a common thing to find good quality, healthy food in this area. I LOVE THAT!!! We have great conversation and a huge laugh about a “mullet email” and then he has to head back to serve his people for the afternoon.

I find my way up to a spa. I need to use their facilities in order to clean up and get ready for the rest of the day. It was going to be a $50 entry fee into the spa however they allowed me to use their shower and lounge area for $20. What a treat! I flew late last night after a long, good day of work, got up early this morning, snowboarded hard for a few hours and by this point I am beat and just need some quiet time. It was the most beautiful place and such an awesome way to spend the afternoon. They didn’t skip a beat when it comes to details around that place and I appreciated every bit of it.

My next move was to head back to town and do a little bit of shopping and here I sit in a quaint coffee shop, able to have an extra moment to blog. So far this has been the perfect day!

I am writing out all these details so that you can experience the simplicity of what made my day so wonderful. It truly is the simple things that make this life worth living. It is a smiling face, a breakfast made with love, kisses, hugs, a car ride through the mountains, time on the slopes, beautiful scenery, great food, big laughs, a warm shower in a beautiful place, a quaint little coffee shop, and time to share it all. Life is beautiful, however things are so much sweeter when shared.

“OK”, “EH”, “NOT BAD”

I get to serve a lot of people at my chiropractic office and many of them I have seen for many, many years. This is not everyone, but this is a taste of how some of the conversations begin…

Me: “How are you?” Them: “Eh…”

Me: “How has your week started?” Them: “It’s ok.”

Me: “Has you had a good day?” Them: “Eh…”

Me: “Has your week started well?” Them: “Not bad.”

Me: “What are your plans for this beautiful evening?” Them: “Not sure.”

I am by no means saying that these are not perfectly acceptable answers to my rather regular questions, it is absolutely ok to say whatever you feel like. The reason I am bringing this up is because some of these people say the same things over and over for YEARS! When I say that, I really mean they have been un-excited about life for as many years as I have known them. It almost

seems like they live Monday through Friday just to get to the weekend. Then when I ask them how their weekend went, they say “Eh, it was ok.” REALLY?!?!?!?! WHAT GIVES???

LIFE IS LIFE. Sometimes there isn’t anything real “exciting” going on, no cool vacation to look forward to, didn’t win the lottery recently, no brand new home to move into, still driving the same old car, no crazy shopping spree to go on…nothing exciting at all. Ever thought for a moment that what happens on a regular daily basis is ENOUGH to get excited about?

Life is absolutely filled to the brim with mundane, routine stuff. As human beings we have to get up in the morning, it is probably a really good idea to eat breakfast and take a shower and most will be get ready for work (either inside the home or outside the home) or school. We will then put ourselves in a vehicle of some sort and transport ourselves somewhere where we will spend the next 8-12 hours (1/3-1/2) of our days doing something to earn a living. During that time we will probably take a break for lunch, maybe find a lunch buddy to chat with and then go back to work or school (even if you are at home raising a family, there is probably a routine you fall into). We will more than likely jump back in a vehicle of some sort and drive ourselves back to the place where we started our day, find a little more food, maybe get some sort of exercise in, brush our teeth and lay down for the night to rest only to get up and do the same thing all over again the next day…and the next day…and the next day. Ugh, just writing that sounds like a drag.

But...LIFE IS LIFE!! What if you started your day with the idea that “gosh it is really good to wake up on the top side of the grass!“? What if that is the attitude you began the day with…an ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE for even getting another day to live? What happens if you sat a few extra seconds and decided to actually TASTE and EXPERIENCE your breakfast? What textures are there? What tastes are happening in my mouth? It is so neat that I can eat a bowl of cereal and it becomes muscles, tissues, organs and glands! Then when you are in the shower…how about really feeling and experiencing what it takes to clean your body. How does the water feel? What smells are present? Or just be grateful to have clean, fresh, warm water to bathe in everyday!

If you let it, the drive to work will take on a life of its own…so many things to look at inside and outside of the vehicle. This time of year the leaves are changing and it is beautiful! And suddenly we are grateful for the stop lights and stop signs because they make us pause and have a moment before moving forward and that can become a moment to give thanks for the good ‘ol car that you get to drive everyday. Once at work, instead of dreading all the filing you have to do, the emails you have to return or the annoying people you have to deal with…take a glance out to what is the big picture of what you are doing on a daly basis. Can you count the number of lives you have effected just because you do the work you do? How are you serving others?

The drive home, exercise, stopping in for your chiropractic adjustment, getting dinner, spending some time with your family and then hitting the sack for another night of rest to be able to recharge to do it all again tomorrow…they all take on a new meaning if we become a little more present and show just a smidgen more enthusiasm while doing them. When you are asked “how was your day?” after you spent a day like that, you will actually want to say “IT WAS GREAT! For what it was, it really was great!” Now that doesn’t mean that other people’s day wasn’t 100 times more fun than yours, according to your perception…but in the grand scheme of things, their day doesn’t matter and there is absolutely no reason to try to compare your day to someone else’s day. It is YOUR LIFE and this LIFE full of mundane-ness is going REALLY FREAKIN’ QUICKLY!!! We are here to do this one time and I cannot figure out one good reason to not get excited about the mundane-ness and routine-full-ness…because 90% of what we do on a daily basis is exactly that.

So think about the concept of SUPER EXCITING, ABSOLUTELY AMAZING, REALLY FUN, AWESOME, BREATH-TAKING, PULSE INCREASING, HAIR RAISING, TERRIFICALLY FANTASTIC mundane-ness. It exists. Trust me, I know. The key to it, its a conscious choice you get to make Enjoy yourself, every day of your life…and consider this a triple-dog dare to you to have some fun going through your routine tomorrow…and then let me know how it goes. If you are able to make a small shift, you will notice something about life…that it is REALLY, REALLY GOOD. I would love to hear your stories. 🙂