April 2018 – We Only Get One Chance

THE HARDEST DAY

“It is hard to prepare for the hardest day of your life when you have no idea about what the hardest day in your life will be like.”

That was a quote from my brother, Garrett, last night as I sat in my office with 3 women who will be heading to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro in 2 months.

Since my trek, many local (semi-local in the region) people have stepped up to ask what it is like to do that climb because they are heading that way within months.

“How did you train?”

“What did you bring?”

“What was the most used piece of gear that you didn’t expect?”

“What about medications? And which vaccinations?”

“What is the bathroom situation when you are climbing?”

“What did they feed you?”

“Tell us about summit night…”

“What do you mean ‘Don’t die with your day pack on?'”

The last one was the best one.

I walked and talked these ladies through my entire trip last night over 2 hours of conversation. They are bringing their husbands and teenagers with them.

As we were going through all the details, I realized just how amazing the trip was doing it with an incredible group of women. I remembered around any corner, if anyone needed anything, someone had extra of it and was willing to share. What could you possibly want that one of the 31 women didn’t have...I mean half of them were moms and MOMS ARE PREPARED!!!

We all suffered a lot during the trip but, and this may be a major over-generalization and stereotype (sorry, not sorry), women are pretty graceful at dealing with suffering and moving forward anyway.

When Kelly and I headed over to Kilimanjaro, WHOA Travel gave us a packing list and sort of an idea about the trip with the FAQs of course, but we didn’t have anyone to sit down and have this kind of conversation with, which looking back was a blessing and a curse.

How did I prepare for dealing with having to go to the bathroom out on the trail?

How did I clean my body and what was it like to use wet wipes as a “shower” every morning and night for all those days?

How did I manage my period that started on day 2 of an 8 day trip and summit on the day of highest level of anemia in oxygen levels half the normal of sea level?

What about the hole in my heart and the decreased oxygen levels that I experience at sea level just walking around much less 19,341 ft above sea level.

How did you manage the 10 day trip with a total of 24 hours of sleep? How did you function like that?

What did you do at night when you were unable to sleep? and then the next night? and the next? How did you keep hiking 6-7 hours per day with such little sleep?

How did you keep your clothes in good working order and what materials did you prefer to wear up there?

How do you manage temperatures from 90 degrees at the bottom to below zero at the top?

Were you bored out on the trail during the days?

How do you hike 15,000 ft to 19,341 on the final day with barely anything to eat or drink (due to my own specific circumstances) while having 3 bouts of massive diarrhea and having to still manage your period sitting and squatting on porous lava rocks at zero degrees?

What do you mean your porter had to help your every single step for the final 100 yards to the top?

It seems so strange that going down is actually harder than going up? A walking boot for 6 months following your trek? Still not healed? How is that even possible?

There was a real thought on my plane ride over there that it is possible, possible anytime of course but more possible than anything I had done before, that I wasn’t coming back. Of course that wouldn’t have been ideal, and I am glad that it didn’t happen and I lived to tell all these stories, but truly that trek is quite dangerous. The trail is relatively safe but exposure to the different elements, not to mention 19,341 ft elevation, can cost you your life. I am not sure they ever really considered that deeply…maybe they have but I think they were caught off-guard that I would speak about it so casually.

I also remember, when I had that thought I mentioned above, that I was okay with how my life had been and how much I have done and accomplished and just how many lives I had helped to make a difference, big or small. Because life is truly about contribution. When exposed to cultures like what was in Tanzania, and spend those 10 days with them, life gets really simple. Clothes on their backs, shoes on their feet, roof over their heads, foot to eat and family and that is true happiness. Truly. <<<—-THAT is the simplest thing of all.

So how do you prepare for the hardest day of your life….put a smile on your face, look around, be sure you packed the right layers and take in every last moment because your life will FOREVER BE CHANGED…for the better. Best of luck to that group, I am sure you will all have massive success and I am excited for the report back when you are done! <3

HOUSE SHOES

I am one that has to wear house shoes now.

One year ago I was preparing to turn 40 and I was really busy calling it “Version 4.0” and redirecting my attention away from the number and more towards an “upgraded version” of myself. Reframe on point!

I had summitted Mt Kilimanjaro a month prior and although I am sure my body was still trying to recover from the physical intensity of that experience, I was also in the middle of a 6 week yoga challenge when my birthday rolled around. Looking back, I am not sure that much yoga was a good thing for my body at that time.

As I continued with the challenge, I experienced more and more pain in my left foot. I was always fine during the class and for the rest of the day following, but the mornings were continuing to get worse and worse, with very painful first steps out of bed. This continued until I finished the challenge and took a break from that kind of movement….and then every other kind of movement as well. (All of the rest of the year following that injury and my “boot camp” has been written up in previous blog posts so I won’t go over all the details here but look back through the blog history).

Two days ago I was getting ready to head over to my brother’s house to celebrate my niece’s 8th birthday. I had a few things I needed to gather however front and center on my list of “things not to forget” were my house shoes.

I have been unable to comfortably go bare-footed in my house, or anywhere for that matter, in months. I spend all of my time with some sort of shoes on my feet.

I have been to quite a few yoga classes lately and sections of the classes are comprised of dramatic movements and jumping around…on hard floors…in bare feet. As I glance around the room at the other yogis, I find myself wondering just how much they take the fact that they can go barefooted for granted. And that is not saying that I wasn’t that same way not long ago.
I look at them and their feet and I think to myself…I remember a time when I didn’t think twice about being barefoot. Now I can wear one of 3 pairs of shoes but I have to have a pair on my feet at all times.

Yes that means getting up out of bed in the morning and stepping right into shoes.

Yes that means carefully crawling onto my double yoga mat (for extra protection) in the yoga room and being mindful enough to get through the classes.

Yes that means every single outfit I wear is matched with sneakers…either my Brooks or my Saucony…black or navy blue…and when I say every single outfit, I am serious.

Yes and that also means that I have to pack house shoes whenever I go anywhere.

I have a healthy fear of hardwood floors and tile now which seems really unfortunate but is apparently how life will be moving forward.

I always thought I would be able to do what I have always done. Version 4.0 told me different. I am not a fan of blaming age and years for all of our ails and have been seeking any and all information about healing foot tissue and nerves and bones…and everything else for that matter.

It has lead me down some interesting paths, into some interesting offices, trying interesting remedies, meeting interesting practitioners and reading some interesting books. I have a whole lot more knowledge about the foot and leg than ever before and I will continue to progress down my path of healing.

I still have quite a road ahead of me with this foot and have never had anything take over a year to heal. In fact, I am at the point of accepting maybe it will never ever be the same. I am trusting the slowing down process that has been required of me so far. I will keep walking forward even if every single step is inside of sneakers or these silly house shoes. Here is to celebrating the completion of my 41st trip around the sun!!! 🙂

I’LL TAKE A HUG

Out of the mouth of babes “I think I’ll take a hug.”

Be still my heart…let me set the scene.

Life has been incredibly busy and full and I haven’t gotten specific time to hang with my nieces and nephews like I usually do. Actually it is not just the time of life, it has more to do with the season than anything. We hang out every weekend all summer long playing together on the lake. When winter rolls around, although we all love the wintertime and the snow, it just isn’t as organic to get together.

A few weekends back I chose to take time from the regular busy life, canceled a few things and headed up north to ski with some of my family and be able to have some high quality time together. I am not a skier but when I am out on the slopes helping with the little ones, it is nearly impossible to do anything helpful strapped to my snowboard.

I bought a set of skies about 2 years ago, after not skiing for 22 years, and have been having a lot of fun with the kids out on the slopes as they learn to make turns on their own.

It was a fun filled day of skiing and each of them were eager to show Aunt E just how good they are getting…and they really are! It is the best to be able to be with them as they are learning so much and putting pieces of their own worlds together. I absolutely love being in the role of Aunt E.

So at the very end of the day, I was going to drive back downstate to be with Mike for the rest of the weekend. I said my “good-byes” to all of the adults and had to hunt down a few kids to give them squeezes and kisses and one more exchange about how proud I was of their skiing.

There were a missing group tucked in a back room watching a movie together. As I knocked on the door and entered, I found them all huddled around a little TV on the top bunk watching a movie together, a precious site in and of itself.

I said “Hey guys! Aunt E is going to go now and I just wanted to say good-bye and tell you how great you are all getting at skiing.”

“Aunt E, where are you going?”

“I am going to be with Mike for the rest of the weekend and so I will be driving back down to our house in Frankenmuth and we will have Sunday together.”

“Awe, do you have to go?”

“Yes guys, I want to be able to get some good sleep and wake up refreshed for Sunday back home.”

“Ok. Well maybe we will be able to ski again some other weekend?”

“Absolutely!”

They were all tucked together and up high and so I wasn’t able to really get up to them to do much so I said “Hey, how about high fives all the way around?”

They did that and I turned around and headed for the door when Charlei chimes in and says, “Hey Aunt E? I think I will take a hug.” …and proceeds to climb all the way down to give me a hug.

It was the sweetest thing. In fact I left and shed tears of gratitude during the first 30 minutes of my drive back downstate.

I am fortunate to have such an incredible family.

I am blessed and lucky to have these little one running around calling me Aunt E and caring about spending time with me. In all of the things that I do to make a small difference in my little corner of the world, knowing that I have touched them is one of the most important things.

“I think I’ll take a hug.” from the mouth of my 7 (almost 8) year old niece. They all mean the world to me and that phrase landed so intensely on my heart in the most beautiful way. Thank you sweet little ones!