life lessons – Page 3 – We Only Get One Chance

LAUGHTER

Laughter helps everything.

There has been a lot going on in life lately, all of it really good stuff but keeping laughter at the forefront of it all helps everything!

For Memorial Day weekend, Mike and I headed up north to be with my family. On Saturday we decided to kayak/canoe/float the Betsie River which runs right by my parent’s house. It was a beautiful day, quite warm for late May in Northern Michigan and it felt great to get out on the river. I always forget how relaxing and healing a nice float down the river is until I am on it.

Mike insisted that I just relax in the front of the tandem kayak and not paddle and that he had it all handled. I trusted him completely and he gave me very little reason not to…at least for the first part of the trip.

We had rented a sit-on-top kayak from Crystal Adventures. The adventure company owners advised that we bring one of their dry sacks with us on the boat and I said “It is nearly impossible to tip one of those things over but we will for sure take one.”

Famous. Last. Words.

Mike did and incredible job (THANKS BABE!!!) at navigating the river until one tricky part. I was so used to sitting back and taking in the scenery that I did not see it coming and I don’t think he did either. A big tree branch was down in the water and in very slow motion, I remember being in total disbelief it was even happening, the kayak got stuck, the current was super strong and tipped us right over. I grabbed the stuff that I could and the rest headed down the river to be retrieved by other family members. We were both soaked in clothes not necessarily planned for dunking in the river but laughing. I am not sure what else there was to do but laugh. Mike felt bad but was also sort of bruised up. I had some scratches and bruises and we just laughed and went on our merry way.

Around the bend, my brothers were whispering to each other “That must really be the right guy for her if she was that calm, cool, collected and both of them were just laughing.” They were pretty shocked at our response to the whole thing.

All the weekends, and weeks for that matter, are spent managing things, handling projects and making things happen. This past weekend was no exception as we framed and wired an entire basement at one of my rental properties. It is a rather large space and a lot of work. We finished the project around 10pm on Sunday and were wrapping everything up, finishing laundry and loading the dishwasher. We sat down in the living room for a few minutes and as we were heading up to bed, Mike put a couple things in the sink. As he stepped up to the sink, something felt strange. Looking down was the view in the picture below!

You see, neither of us has had a dishwasher in our lives for over a year. I am not sure how he did it but mistook liquid dish soap for dishwasher soap and the kitchen was filling up with bubbles. I just start laughing. First off, we are old enough and know better, or at least I thought we did. But secondly, we have both missed having dishwashers in our homes so much it has been something we have looked so forward to!

Here he is standing in ankle deep suds from putting the wrong cleaning product into the dishwasher and bubbles and spewing out the sides and continue to flow. I am laughing so hard at this point that I think I am actually making him a little irritated. Through laughter “BABE!!!! How on Earth did you do this???” both on hands and knees cleaning up the floor. (Side note: our kitchen floor is extra shiny and nice now!!)

We pretty much laughed ourselves to sleep that night.

Laughter helps everything!!! Truly lightens the mood, shifts the tone and make it all better. Mike and I do a lot of laughing together all the time, life is just too short to be any other way.

Look around in your life. Are there areas you can laugh more? Are there things you can laugh about instead of get angry or irritated with? How can you choose laughter more through your days? We only get one chance in this life!!! Let’s have some FUN!!!!

THE SCENIC ROUTE

I am one who always loves to take the scenic route.

I realize this more and more as the years go by. Even if it takes me the same time, 15 minutes more or an hour more, I would prefer to be on the scenic route than anywhere else.

This has become super evident over the past year being with a guy that also loves taking the scenic route. What’s the saying? “Life is about the process, not the destination.” I don’t know who said that but it is brilliant.

Last weekend I drove over to Cleveland, Ohio to attend Birthfit Professional seminar (I will share a lot more about Birthfit Professional as time goes by as it will become an incredible tool and offering here at the Cafe of LIFE). The seminar was Saturday and Sunday 8am-6pm both days. That is a long weekend and with everything else going on in life right now, it was difficult to commit to that schedule. I registered over 2 months ago and I am a woman of my word and so 7pm on Friday evening I made the drive.

Friday was a day filled with “life” and I wanted to be on the road by 5pm but that just didn’t happen. Because I also need to preserve my sleep, I took the fastest and most efficient way to the area and got to a hotel just after 10pm to prepare for a 6:30am wake-up.

Saturday was an incredibly informative and inspiring day with a group of colleagues passionate about helping prenatal and postpartum moms prepare and recover from the most intense athletic event of their lives. Saturday evening we were released at 6 and I set out to find some dinner.

Some of you know this about me but most of you probably don’t, I love just going for a drive. In fact, sometime I will say to Mike “Hey babe, let’s go for a drive.” …which he is usually game for and we go and explore. Another fun fact about me (at least I think it is fun although maybe I shouldn’t be so assuming 🙂 ) is I am passionate about real estate. I have invested around the local area and I absolutely love transforming spaces. Mike does too. As we go for these random drives around, I usually am opening my Zillow app on my phone as we see “for sale” signs posted along our route. Anywhere. Anytime. We drive around just to see what there is to see but also scope real estate wherever we are. I am a Zillow addict and I love that fact that I have access to see what the homes look like inside.

Saturday night I set out on a drive to find food and before long I realized just how close to Lake Erie I was staying. I got caught up in a long drive scoping the Cleveland coastline real estate…and then moved inland a street…and then another. Have you been to Cleveland? WOW!!! There were block after block of beautiful homes for miles. I ran out of daylight but I was astounded. I had Coffeehouse on my Sirius XM and it was the most relaxed I had been all week. I would wander around, taking in all the scenery and I could feel my heart filling up. That may seem like a strange thing to feel while on a drive looking at real estate, but I am okay with being strange.

Sunday came fast and furious and I was back in the seminar. Sometime during that day I decided I was going to take the coastline home. Yes I got out of the seminar at 6pm. Yes I had a 3 hour drive in front of me. Something inside urged me to take the scenic route and that something was making such a strong declaration about it that if I would have gotten on the toll road and taken the quickest route home, it would have been a battle inside myself the entire way.

So I did. At 6pm I got into my car and found the most beautiful stretch of homes along the coastline for a large portion of my drive back home. Looking back, I am so glad I took the scenic route even though it added some time to my late drive home. When everything was said and done, I had added just a mere 30 extra minutes driving the coastline between Cleveland and Toledo instead of the major highway. But on top of that, my heart was full.

YOLO “You Only Live Once” and FOMO “Fear Of Missing Out” drive my life and especially these types of decisions. I am the first to jump off the highway and see if I can find a fun way home just to see what is there.

So many people are in such a rush to get places. Yes there is a time to be rushed and there is a time to find the quickest route to the destination and get there. But what about when you are not rushed? What would the path look like if you got off the heavily beaten most traveled route? What would you see? What would you be exposed to? What would you learn?

Sometimes I take the scenic route and find that there wasn’t a whole lot to see. Most of the time when I am on the scenic route I find something new and always finished more inspired. In one of the books I read recently the author suggested “what would happen if you took a different way home?” Your usual route to work could actually look different…which would feel different…which would help to stir up the monotony of life and maybe help you see things from a different angle.

Life goes by so quickly, I have a hard time even wrapping my head around the fact that we are in May of 2018. Take the scenic route next time you get a chance.

THE HARDEST DAY

“It is hard to prepare for the hardest day of your life when you have no idea about what the hardest day in your life will be like.”

That was a quote from my brother, Garrett, last night as I sat in my office with 3 women who will be heading to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro in 2 months.

Since my trek, many local (semi-local in the region) people have stepped up to ask what it is like to do that climb because they are heading that way within months.

“How did you train?”

“What did you bring?”

“What was the most used piece of gear that you didn’t expect?”

“What about medications? And which vaccinations?”

“What is the bathroom situation when you are climbing?”

“What did they feed you?”

“Tell us about summit night…”

“What do you mean ‘Don’t die with your day pack on?'”

The last one was the best one.

I walked and talked these ladies through my entire trip last night over 2 hours of conversation. They are bringing their husbands and teenagers with them.

As we were going through all the details, I realized just how amazing the trip was doing it with an incredible group of women. I remembered around any corner, if anyone needed anything, someone had extra of it and was willing to share. What could you possibly want that one of the 31 women didn’t have...I mean half of them were moms and MOMS ARE PREPARED!!!

We all suffered a lot during the trip but, and this may be a major over-generalization and stereotype (sorry, not sorry), women are pretty graceful at dealing with suffering and moving forward anyway.

When Kelly and I headed over to Kilimanjaro, WHOA Travel gave us a packing list and sort of an idea about the trip with the FAQs of course, but we didn’t have anyone to sit down and have this kind of conversation with, which looking back was a blessing and a curse.

How did I prepare for dealing with having to go to the bathroom out on the trail?

How did I clean my body and what was it like to use wet wipes as a “shower” every morning and night for all those days?

How did I manage my period that started on day 2 of an 8 day trip and summit on the day of highest level of anemia in oxygen levels half the normal of sea level?

What about the hole in my heart and the decreased oxygen levels that I experience at sea level just walking around much less 19,341 ft above sea level.

How did you manage the 10 day trip with a total of 24 hours of sleep? How did you function like that?

What did you do at night when you were unable to sleep? and then the next night? and the next? How did you keep hiking 6-7 hours per day with such little sleep?

How did you keep your clothes in good working order and what materials did you prefer to wear up there?

How do you manage temperatures from 90 degrees at the bottom to below zero at the top?

Were you bored out on the trail during the days?

How do you hike 15,000 ft to 19,341 on the final day with barely anything to eat or drink (due to my own specific circumstances) while having 3 bouts of massive diarrhea and having to still manage your period sitting and squatting on porous lava rocks at zero degrees?

What do you mean your porter had to help your every single step for the final 100 yards to the top?

It seems so strange that going down is actually harder than going up? A walking boot for 6 months following your trek? Still not healed? How is that even possible?

There was a real thought on my plane ride over there that it is possible, possible anytime of course but more possible than anything I had done before, that I wasn’t coming back. Of course that wouldn’t have been ideal, and I am glad that it didn’t happen and I lived to tell all these stories, but truly that trek is quite dangerous. The trail is relatively safe but exposure to the different elements, not to mention 19,341 ft elevation, can cost you your life. I am not sure they ever really considered that deeply…maybe they have but I think they were caught off-guard that I would speak about it so casually.

I also remember, when I had that thought I mentioned above, that I was okay with how my life had been and how much I have done and accomplished and just how many lives I had helped to make a difference, big or small. Because life is truly about contribution. When exposed to cultures like what was in Tanzania, and spend those 10 days with them, life gets really simple. Clothes on their backs, shoes on their feet, roof over their heads, foot to eat and family and that is true happiness. Truly. <<<—-THAT is the simplest thing of all.

So how do you prepare for the hardest day of your life….put a smile on your face, look around, be sure you packed the right layers and take in every last moment because your life will FOREVER BE CHANGED…for the better. Best of luck to that group, I am sure you will all have massive success and I am excited for the report back when you are done! <3

HOUSE SHOES

I am one that has to wear house shoes now.

One year ago I was preparing to turn 40 and I was really busy calling it “Version 4.0” and redirecting my attention away from the number and more towards an “upgraded version” of myself. Reframe on point!

I had summitted Mt Kilimanjaro a month prior and although I am sure my body was still trying to recover from the physical intensity of that experience, I was also in the middle of a 6 week yoga challenge when my birthday rolled around. Looking back, I am not sure that much yoga was a good thing for my body at that time.

As I continued with the challenge, I experienced more and more pain in my left foot. I was always fine during the class and for the rest of the day following, but the mornings were continuing to get worse and worse, with very painful first steps out of bed. This continued until I finished the challenge and took a break from that kind of movement….and then every other kind of movement as well. (All of the rest of the year following that injury and my “boot camp” has been written up in previous blog posts so I won’t go over all the details here but look back through the blog history).

Two days ago I was getting ready to head over to my brother’s house to celebrate my niece’s 8th birthday. I had a few things I needed to gather however front and center on my list of “things not to forget” were my house shoes.

I have been unable to comfortably go bare-footed in my house, or anywhere for that matter, in months. I spend all of my time with some sort of shoes on my feet.

I have been to quite a few yoga classes lately and sections of the classes are comprised of dramatic movements and jumping around…on hard floors…in bare feet. As I glance around the room at the other yogis, I find myself wondering just how much they take the fact that they can go barefooted for granted. And that is not saying that I wasn’t that same way not long ago.
I look at them and their feet and I think to myself…I remember a time when I didn’t think twice about being barefoot. Now I can wear one of 3 pairs of shoes but I have to have a pair on my feet at all times.

Yes that means getting up out of bed in the morning and stepping right into shoes.

Yes that means carefully crawling onto my double yoga mat (for extra protection) in the yoga room and being mindful enough to get through the classes.

Yes that means every single outfit I wear is matched with sneakers…either my Brooks or my Saucony…black or navy blue…and when I say every single outfit, I am serious.

Yes and that also means that I have to pack house shoes whenever I go anywhere.

I have a healthy fear of hardwood floors and tile now which seems really unfortunate but is apparently how life will be moving forward.

I always thought I would be able to do what I have always done. Version 4.0 told me different. I am not a fan of blaming age and years for all of our ails and have been seeking any and all information about healing foot tissue and nerves and bones…and everything else for that matter.

It has lead me down some interesting paths, into some interesting offices, trying interesting remedies, meeting interesting practitioners and reading some interesting books. I have a whole lot more knowledge about the foot and leg than ever before and I will continue to progress down my path of healing.

I still have quite a road ahead of me with this foot and have never had anything take over a year to heal. In fact, I am at the point of accepting maybe it will never ever be the same. I am trusting the slowing down process that has been required of me so far. I will keep walking forward even if every single step is inside of sneakers or these silly house shoes. Here is to celebrating the completion of my 41st trip around the sun!!! 🙂

I’LL TAKE A HUG

Out of the mouth of babes “I think I’ll take a hug.”

Be still my heart…let me set the scene.

Life has been incredibly busy and full and I haven’t gotten specific time to hang with my nieces and nephews like I usually do. Actually it is not just the time of life, it has more to do with the season than anything. We hang out every weekend all summer long playing together on the lake. When winter rolls around, although we all love the wintertime and the snow, it just isn’t as organic to get together.

A few weekends back I chose to take time from the regular busy life, canceled a few things and headed up north to ski with some of my family and be able to have some high quality time together. I am not a skier but when I am out on the slopes helping with the little ones, it is nearly impossible to do anything helpful strapped to my snowboard.

I bought a set of skies about 2 years ago, after not skiing for 22 years, and have been having a lot of fun with the kids out on the slopes as they learn to make turns on their own.

It was a fun filled day of skiing and each of them were eager to show Aunt E just how good they are getting…and they really are! It is the best to be able to be with them as they are learning so much and putting pieces of their own worlds together. I absolutely love being in the role of Aunt E.

So at the very end of the day, I was going to drive back downstate to be with Mike for the rest of the weekend. I said my “good-byes” to all of the adults and had to hunt down a few kids to give them squeezes and kisses and one more exchange about how proud I was of their skiing.

There were a missing group tucked in a back room watching a movie together. As I knocked on the door and entered, I found them all huddled around a little TV on the top bunk watching a movie together, a precious site in and of itself.

I said “Hey guys! Aunt E is going to go now and I just wanted to say good-bye and tell you how great you are all getting at skiing.”

“Aunt E, where are you going?”

“I am going to be with Mike for the rest of the weekend and so I will be driving back down to our house in Frankenmuth and we will have Sunday together.”

“Awe, do you have to go?”

“Yes guys, I want to be able to get some good sleep and wake up refreshed for Sunday back home.”

“Ok. Well maybe we will be able to ski again some other weekend?”

“Absolutely!”

They were all tucked together and up high and so I wasn’t able to really get up to them to do much so I said “Hey, how about high fives all the way around?”

They did that and I turned around and headed for the door when Charlei chimes in and says, “Hey Aunt E? I think I will take a hug.” …and proceeds to climb all the way down to give me a hug.

It was the sweetest thing. In fact I left and shed tears of gratitude during the first 30 minutes of my drive back downstate.

I am fortunate to have such an incredible family.

I am blessed and lucky to have these little one running around calling me Aunt E and caring about spending time with me. In all of the things that I do to make a small difference in my little corner of the world, knowing that I have touched them is one of the most important things.

“I think I’ll take a hug.” from the mouth of my 7 (almost 8) year old niece. They all mean the world to me and that phrase landed so intensely on my heart in the most beautiful way. Thank you sweet little ones!

RUNNING AGAIN

I am beyond excited to be running again!

I completed my first 5K over this past weekend.

5K may not seem like anything to write home about (blog about) however it is a really big deal.

If you have been reading right along with my shares, you know I climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro in March of last year. It was an incredible experience (CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO LOG OF THE TREK) and landed me shortly thereafter in an immobilization walking boot. I lived in that boot for 6 months.

I haven’t told you this yet but many many people, after seeing me hobble around in the boot for months, ask me “Well was it worth it?”

HECK TO THE YES IT WAS WORTH IT!!! There is no question about that.

I learned some incredible lessons while in that boot and the most important has been patience.

I am a chiropractor at Cafe of LIFE Chiropractic in downtown Fenton, Michigan. Being a chiropractor is one of my most favorite roles in my life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Being an integral part of people’s healthcare team is amazing and fun and rewarding. I help people that are striving to get back to health, as well as, those that want to be and stay healthy. Chiropractic care is for just about everyone!

Those that visit me in serious acute pain often have this dreaded feeling of “life is always going to be this hard and painful.” I don’t know why but humans are hard-wired to think “worst case scenario” and think that whatever is going on will always be going on. It comes out of fear and frustration and it is warranted AND in a short time are feeling better.

I have a lot of those times of thinking “life will always be this way.” My thoughts went there as I was approaching 4 and 5 months in that boot. I finally got to a place where I fully accepted that if I was going to have to wear that boot for the rest of my life, I would be alright with it. It would shift a lot of my hopes and dreams for what I want to do physically with the remainder of my years but if that was how it was going to be, may as well not fight it.

In my mind I succumbed to the idea of not being able to walk around my neighborhood comfortably again. Maybe I would never snowboard again. Maybe I will never run again.

That is sad. It is still sad looking back on those feeling and just how real and raw they were. This “boot camp” was not a couple week thing, this went on for MONTHS!!!

For the holidays, I went away to the beach for a week with Mike and great friends. I decided I would walk the beach barefoot and build some strength and mobility in my foot. I did that. It still hurt but I was alright with that.

When the New Year rolled around and I still had the pain, I decided I would stop remaining in limbo and I would get back to my weekly step aerobics class at Genesys Athletic Club and begin to run. If I jarred the foot enough, it would move past this nagging injury and maybe I would end up in surgery or something, but at least I wouldn’t be in limbo. I decided I would break it or fix it but I was going to start really using it again.

The first step class was January 2nd. I was going. Even if I didn’t use any risers underneath my step, I was going to go, make deliberate movements in class and have some fun again. WOW!!! SO MUCH PAIN that afternoon. Maybe that was not a good idea???

But the next day it was better, I returned to my usual workouts…and the day after that was even better.

My next test…what if I start running on it? I did 1/4 mile. That HURT!!! But it was better the next day. I did 1/2 mile and that was painful…but it was even better the next day. On and on with step and running over a few weeks time until I built my distance back up to complete a 5K this past weekend.

I was nervous to start that race. I was nervous to even drive up to the venue. “What if I cannot make the 5K happen?” “What if I stress it on the snow and ice covered trail and I set myself backwards again?”

Then I remember my plan of pushing it to the point it either breaks or fixes and I settled into the idea.

The drive took almost 2 hours and I had waves of ideas back and forth between this is a great decision and this is a bad decision. I have a bit of PTSD after being in that much pain for that long.

Then I remember looking back over some of the “boot camp” time and realizing how devastated I was to think I would never run again and here I was going to be able to at least try and I got choked up in tears of gratitude to just be that far started to fall.

Mike was there. He has a race management company as a side business called TRI To Finish. Their company was hosting the run and honestly I am always stronger and more confident with that kind of cheering squad!!

I did it. I ran the entire 5K on uneven snow/ice covered trail. I will never be setting records with my paces and I will never ever make it on a podium but I won in my mind. It wasn’t a battle against my foot, it was more a battle for feeling whole again, feeling capable again. That medal means more to me than most of my long distance medals I hang in the lobby of my office.

That medal symbolizes healing, patience, support, gratitude and persistence and the fact that I am so happy to be running again.

THE PROPOSAL

Everyone loves love and I have shared this video with so many people, PLUS, there were about 150 people there to witness it anyway…I wanted to share the proposal.

If you are wondering what I am talking about, check a few posts prior to this one. 🙂

Let me set the scene…

I grew up on an apple orchard just south of town called Peabody Orchards. It is no longer a functioning apple orchard and hasn’t been for quite some time.

My family still owns a good portion of it and along with the property came a rusty old crane-like piece of equipment. My brother is an adventurer and he and a buddy of his had an idea if they erected some telephone poles, braced by the crane, wrapped them in chicken wire and put a sprinkler system at the top, they could farm ice and then climb it. This is currently a fully functioning business called Peabody Ice Climbing, sort of like a rock climbing gym only for ice climbers.

Every winter for the past 10 years or so, Peabody Ice Climbing has been hosting people from all over the region for regular ice climbing and even some competitions. For his loyal customers, my brother throws a huge party called Ice Fest and it is a riot every single year. Through the years he has gotten bigger and bigger sponsors to help support his efforts and the party.

It takes a lot of people to get the party started and keep it going. As a family member, I always show up to enjoy the celebration but also help in any way I can.

Little did I know the plan was on me this year, and everyone there was in on it…

At the end of the day the ice climbing portion shuts down and it is time for dancing and a little bit of cheer. The after party goes to the wee hours of the night and, although tiring, is super duper fun.

It kicks off with a raffle for gear donated by the sponsors. I always help with the raffle to be sure everyone get their stuff and all the gear gets into the right hands.

This year was no different…until Mike grabbed the microphone and proceeded to tell our story. It went like this (be sure to watch until the end). It starts with me kneeling down near the floor figuring out the raffle items:

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NUSrFVRYAM[/youtube]

So there you have it!

Everyone loves love and through this relationship I have realized that everyone relives their own little love story out along the stories I share. Since there were so many people there to witness it anyway and it was recorded on numerous phones, I thought I would share the proposal with you all.

UNKNOWN

Today I found the unknown staring me in the face.

The unknown is intimidating, very, very intimidating.

As most of you read in my last blog post, I GOT ENGAGED!!!! I am absolutely OVER THE MOON EXCITED, blessed and honored that this man has asked me to be his wife.

…and I have a GORGEOUS RING!!!

Newly engaged, it is hard to turn my eyes away from the ring. I had the chance to pick it out in the beginning of December but to actually wear it is a whole new experience.

As many of you know, I was married at 19 for 7 years. At one point someone said to me “Oh, you have had your ‘starter marriage’.” “STARTER MARRIAGE”??????? Um, sure??? I am not a fan of that concept, I understand the idea of a “starter home” by not a “starter marriage”.

Since then I have dated for 14 years and had some long term relationships, however even during all that time, the voice in my head would chime in and say “How do people actually get to the place of committing to marriage anyway?” I couldn’t make sense of it at the time. Now In retrospect, it is simple to see that internal voice was just making sure I would eventually find the right one and I get it now.

I look down at this ring and it says “commitment” to me in the most beautiful way. But staring right back at me is this huge UNKNOWN.

There are so many unknowns…things that have been on my radar but also things that I/we haven’t thought through completely.

It is scary to look down and know that I have literally committed to the unknown with Mike. The longer I linger in thoughts of the unknown, the more nauseated I get. It’s pure worry and I am sure there may be some place in your life that you can relate to that feeling.

When I snap out of that I think to myself “This unknown is WITH MIKE, my Mike.”

“We’ll figure it out” has rolled off our tongues so much to each other throughout our courtship. It is accompanied by this incredible I’ve-got-your-back energy, confidence, respect and honor and is followed by actually figuring things out together.

It is the most beautiful thing I have ever been involved in, the most innocent and precious connection.

We have not had a simple and easy road so far. We have been together for just over nine months but we have already scaled some walls and traversed some valleys that stood in our way. Something that is working in our favor is our age. I think when I was involved in my marriage at such an early age, as was Mike was as well, it is difficult to know who you are and what you want life to really look like. Also there is so much growth and evolution that happens through the 20s, it is simple to get set up in relationship patterns that will not go the distance.

We have both been there and have learned a lot along the way. The lessons have been interesting and some so painful it was often difficult to see any light. Neither of us fantasize about how easy marriage will be, but we do remain hopeful that things can remain simple.

What I have learned through 14 years of dating is that core values are the most important key to finding a partner. Deep core values NEED to line up. I have dated enough to know a little bit about connection and what questions to ask right from the start. When I was younger, it was difficult to ask the heavy hitting questions and that landed me in relationships that couldn’t endure he long haul.

So Mike and I had a lot of hard discussions right up front and vetted out some of the serious topics to be sure we lined up. Of course there will always be that work to do.

The other thing that has really built our foundation we bring up absolutely anything and everything that is on our minds, no matter what it is. Because of this we have been able to get to the roots of our personal challenges and have the hard talks about life and what we are looking for.

He is my safe place, my home and has been from the very beginning.

Together we will walk hand in hand into the unknown. From the outside this may look and sound like a match made in heaven with all rainbows and butterflies and unicorns. There are many obstacles, I will reveal more as time goes by, big obstacles that we have overcome already and some yet to be uncovered.

Jumping off the cliff into the unknown seems do-able with Mike. Father Time will be the great determiner and until then I will embrace the work, lean into the discomfort, have faith and put one foot in front of the other.

As I am writing this, I am curious to know more about you. I am curious if you have found yourself staring into the face of the unknown as well as maybe a hint or two about how you stepped in anyway. How did you do that? What did you bank on? Where was your courage sourced from? I think we can learn a lot from each other’s experiences. Leave your comments for me…

50 YEARS

When Mike and I first started to spend time together, we talked about what life would maybe look like in the future. He mentioned maybe like 40 years from now? I told him that is ABSOLUTE BS to bow out of here 40 years from now and that I was requiring 50 years!!

We would stay up really late at night and recall the day that just passed and the time spent together. We would ask each other 50 year questions that sounded like this…

“Do you think you could handle me rubbing your back like this for 50 years?”

“Do you think you can keep rubbing my back for 50 years?”

“If we laughed like we did today, do you think we could make that kind of laughter last for 50 years?”

“Will you always help me with my leg, even if I have to wear this stupid boot for 50 years?”

“Will you be this kind to me for 50 years?”

“Do you think it is possible to maintain this sweet, sincere and innocent connection we have for 50 years?”

“Will you want to talk to me and share stories for 50 years?”

“Will you be able to manage me and the way I am inside of the world for 50 years?”

“Can you handle being in tight and close connection with my family for 50 years?”

“Will you want to go on adventures and make that last for 50 years?”

“Will you always kiss and hug me like you do right now? Do you think that can last for 50 years?”

“Will you be able to laugh at my jokes for 50 years?”

“Will you stay this supportive in and around my life for 50 years?”

“Do you think you can manage me helping in your life for 50 years?”

The 50 years questions go on and on and on, even to this day. It is silly things and serious things and everything in between.

But to each and every one of those questions and so many more we both answer “YES!!!!!”

Last night, at my family’s old orchard setting turned Peabody Ice Climbing central, in front of 150 people, many family members and apparently they were all in on it unbeknownst to me, he stole the microphone he asked me to marry him.

“YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” was my answer.

…and so the story begins.

I am in tears and at a complete loss of words on how to really share this story at this point and all that has gone on since Mike and I met. I have rarely mentioned a man during any of my writings over the years because it just wasn’t quite right.

This is different.

This is right.

Here’s to 50 years!!!

MY TRIBE

As many of you know, I usually spend the holidays with my tribe.

This tribe consists of long time friends that I met during chiropractic college (and a couple since). Many of them have traveled most years together, other parts of my tribe were not able to go and a few have yet to join us. Whoever shows up for the holiday trip is always the perfect blend.

We always meet somewhere warm and spend a week together. The week is filled with laughter and silliness and play…but also some serious talks about the past year and projection and goal-setting for the year ahead.

The greatest thing about my tribe is we have known each other for so many years and have been out in the field doing similar work for that long that we see the world through the same lens and they all get me.

Speaking of being out in the field, we have all been so career-focused that there haven’t been any children on this regular holiday tribe trip until this year.

One couple has grown children and they were with us but we also have beautiful 6 month old twins in the tribe now.

Taking twins across the boarder and to the beach is no easy task and prior discussions sounded a little like this “Just get them there and then there will be 11 adults to 2 babies and we will help all week long.” I am so glad they did.

Much of the tribe lives in close proximity to each other in Denver and get to spend a little more regular time together however being this far away, I don’t get that kind of regular time with any of them.

Although the babies added a lot to the dynamics of the group, it was delightful as we all learn to transition into the “with children” phase of our lives.

We shared great conversation over meals, while sitting around the pools and during walks on the beach. These are the people that light my flame and keep it stoked. We have a text message thread that goes on and on daily for years however having true face to face time fills my soul.

I do not have a tribe like that in Fenton. By the end of the week together, I feel so recharged and ready to take on the New Year. I always head back home rejuvenated but I am also a little sad when I land in Detroit and drive home knowing just how far away they all are. I miss them terribly and in a small way I dread coming home. I have a great life here but have always felt a little lonely following a week with my tribe.

This time was a little different. My boyfriend Mike was able to make it down for the week and of course we traveled home together. He is my ideal match I feel fortunate that he blends so well into my group of friends. Our connection fills my life so full on a daily basis and has ever since the day we met 9 months ago.

Chiropractor Fenton Michigan - My Tribe - Dr Erica Peabody

So this time around, instead of having to head home alone and readjust to Fenton and life apart from my tribe, I got to come home with him and together have put some action steps in place towards our goals we set for this year already!!

Although I have lived in pure gratitude for my incredible life for a long time now, I have always said that “Life is sweeter when shared.” I am finding so much truth to that with a connection like this.

My tribe is part of my lifeline. Our text message thread has continued on just as silly with bouts of seriousness as before. I laugh all day long with these people that are thousands of miles away and am grateful for technology helping us easily stay connected. I love them all so much and miss the babies and am sad I don’t get to watch them grow up in person.

To have this incredible man alongside me as all the days progress wins over all of that. He is my tribe, but more than that, he is my safe space, my recharging station and my true home. I tell him daily how grateful I am he is in my life but once more here (because he always reads) Thanks Babe. 🙂