cafe of life – Page 3 – We Only Get One Chance

THE RULES OF IMPROVISATION

I recently finished a light-hearted book by Tina Fey called “Bossypants”. She is hilarious and her book was a nice break from the “heavy” reading I usually do. Tina really struck me with her section on “The Rules of Improvisation” and as I was reading one evening in the sauna, I thought how applicable these rules are to living an extraordinary life. I wanted to share.

RULE #1: AGREE. SAY “YES!” In improv, when someone starts off on a topic, the next person has to start by agreeing with them. If they say their fingers are a gun, the next person has to agree otherwise the scene is dead in the water. How often do you find yourself saying “no”, whether it be to an invitation, an idea or just finding yourself disagreeing with a concept and shutting everything down?

Just recently, I had an invite to situation that was completely unknown. If I would have tapped into my logical mind, I could have come up with loads of reasons why I shouldn’t go. A friend once said, “I am willing to try just about anything as long as it doesn’t end me in jail, I don’t end up with a permanent scar and it doesn’t hurt my credit score.” I have adopted this within reason and choose to say ‘YES” whenever I can and often find myself experiencing some really incredible things.

RULE #2: Say “YES and…” meaning agree and say “YES” first, but then offer something as a contribution. An example in improv that she uses is, “Man, it is hot in here!!!” “Well what did you expect it would be like inside a dog’s mouth?!?!” and then scene continues.

Get involved in making the plans in life. Get involved in the conversations you are having on a daily basis. What you have to contribute is worthwhile. Sometimes even if you disagree with what is presented, using the word “and” is a great transition to something that may open up the doors for all parties involved. “Yes, and….” feels very different and more inviting than “Yes, but…”

RULE #3: MAKE STATEMENTS. Questions are good in certain scenarios, however when you make bold, confident statements in life, things start shifting. “Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.”

“Everything in life is figureoutable” -Marie Forleo

Start offering options and ideas instead of allowing someone else to always lead the pack towards a solution. I absolutely love hanging out with some of my good friends and having brainstorming sessions. I have my fair share of challenges that come up in everyday life. I will present it to a couple friends and then the conversation is sparked allowing for all kinds of different solutions to surface and life takes a step forward.

RULE #4: THERE ARE NO MISTAKES – ONLY OPPORTUNITIES. In improv, if a scene starts one way but is interpreted another, it is an opportunity to go in a different direction and everyone involved needs to pick up the ball and start running.

Life is the same way. We can plan, forecast and predict what will happen in life, however we have all been thrown a curveball as soon as we think we have something figured out. For me, I do not know one thing that could describe life better than finding myself in “beautiful happy accidents” that have led me down some really great paths in directions I couldn’t have even fathomed. Along the course of my life, I have learned that I better quit pushing and I better start surrendering to the path I am on and letting go of where I think I should be. When I do more of that, life is easier.

The rules of improvisation are 4 very simple rules that, when put together, can lead to a seriously fun life! I want to challenge you to start every morning with a “Yes, and” attitude, contribute to what is happening around you, be part of the solution and trust that there really are no mistakes. Those “beautiful happy accidents” that Tina talks about are where the juice of life is!! Make the best of it…we only get one chance.

ITS A FEELING

People often ask me about my chiropractic office the Cafe of LIFE. For years, I have tried to really explain what it is like in here…but honestly, it is more about a feeling.

Its a feeling that you can maybe understand if you had pictures and words and could see the inside of the office and hear a story.

That is exactly what we have done in creating the clip below. I have had great feedback so far and just wanted to share with you a little about what I mean when I say “Its a feeling…”.

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ht7tC9CLe8[/youtube]

Please feel free to share with your friends and family or connect with us on Facebook. It truly is a feeling. See you soon!!

BEST YEAR YET!!

Happy New Year!!! It has been pretty busy and hectic start to the year…all good things. Over the past couple years, I have spent a little time brainstorming with a few friends about a “theme” for the year. For example “Life is Zen in 2010” or “There Will be 7 in 2011” or “Life is Heaven in 2011”. So we were talking about 2012 and honestly, besides the word “delve”, not much rhymes with 2012. I was working it out and trying to figure out a cool catch phrase for 2012 and…it is just not happening.

So I look back at the past and I ask myself “Was life really ZEN in 2010?” NO WAY!!! What about 2011…”were there 7 in 2011?” Yes there were 7 this and 7 that, but nothing that was significant that pertained to that number. “Was life HEAVEN in 2011?” NOT EVEN CLOSE!!! I was seeing a pattern and I began to think that though it is super cute and catchy to make something that rhymes, maybe the rhyming part was the problem…limiting.

This past Saturday, I spent the entire day at a Women’s Retreat over in Oxford. It was a day for women, all things women, and lots of local practitioners with interesting topics about things that pertain to women and issues surrounding women’s lives. It was a day to escape normal life, hide out in this great little place tucked back in the woods and get reconnected…and I enjoyed every moment of it! It was such great timing with the beginning of the year and such an awesome time to set an intention for the months to follow. So I began to think about this “phrase of the year” thing again. I was eating lunch and writing a short little note to a real special person and it hit me…THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE!! It just struck me, just like that and I thought “HOW PERFECT!!!”. Since Saturday, that idea has been stuck in my head and resonating in my being. I had to tweak it a little bit to “2012, THIS IS THE BEST YEAR YET!!!” that way I am open to even better years in the future. Actually I think every year is better and better and I think it is a great time to sit for a moment and be grateful for that fact. Each year reveals to me a little more about me, and the more I know about me, the better.

How about you? Have you set any intentions for the year? What kind of a feeling does 2012 give you? Any plans, moves, changes? Is life how you want it to be or is there something or some role you need to step into? Let’s get going…we only get one chance…lets make it THE BEST YEAR YET!!!

THE ANTI-FAN

I attended a football game at Michigan State University this past Saturday “GO SPARTANS!!!”. I love going to the campus, I love being in the stadium and I just love everything about a day of college football. It was the most beautiful day for a football game and we sat in some really great seats…well, great seats to watch the game, not so great seats for one particular fan, or “anti-fan”, that sat behind us. The entire game, this anti-fan shouted out the meanest things. He was a MSU fan and I am pretty sure one that has been attending games for years and years. He was loud, angry, negative and down-right mean. They would do something great and he would be sarcastic with his support. They would do something bad and he would shout something like “WELL WE HAVE GROWN TO EXPECT THAT FROM YOU GUYS!!!” They would start moving the ball down the field and he would act shocked, they would have a turnover and he would go back to his “of-course-that-just-happened” attitude. It was unbelievable that someone would pay money to come to a college football game and knock their team so much…to top it off, he was not quiet about it. His wife was with him and a younger woman sat on his other side…both of them were ultra-quiet…and it went on the entire game.

There are two things I learned from that…1. I am really glad I do not have anyone in my life that is that negative and 2. if you are a fan, BE A FAN!!! There is a saying “You get more bees with honey than vinegar”. If you are looking for positive results, it is important to have a positive attitude. Now some would ask, how much effect could one guy in the stands have on a team that is down on the field? and, does it really matter if one guy is being negative in a crowd of positivity? Have you ever heard the saying “One bad apple spoils a bushel”? I was not letting him effect me on a conscious level, but who knows what he was doing on a subconscious level to my energy, much less everyone else around him. More than anything, if a guy is that pissed off and negative at a wonderful college sporting event, I can only imagine what he is like in a stressful situation. If someone like that is the patriarch of a family, I would wager his negativity infiltrates his family members…and I know for a fact that it is effecting his health.

It isn’t always easy to keep a positive attitude, especially when life seems to be throwing you lemons…but what about that saying “When life throws you lemons, make lemonade”. By writing about this, I am by no means complaining about him. I am hoping to increase the awareness around attitude. When someone asks “How are you?” let’s run through 2 possible answers. “Not bad.” is one possible answer…but “Not bad.” leans towards negative energy. What if when asked how you are, you answer “I am good.” or “I am really great!”. Even just saying those two answers, as compared to the first, really changes the energy of how you are feeling…and in essence changes the energy in and around your body.

How are you spending your life? Where are you focusing your energy? What small changes can you make to shift your perspective in a more positive direction? Let’s start today…we only get one chance to make this the best life possible!

HALLOWEEN

Halloween means 2 things to me…COSTUMES AND CANDY!! The costume part of the 2…pure fun! The candy…a double-edged sword. Candy does a weird thing to me. It is fun to eat, tastes amazing, and releases “feel good” and comforting chemicals in the body. I always have mixed feelings about giving away candy at Halloween…and it mostly has to do with the detrimental effects the sugar has on immune system function. I have settled this battle in my head by giving out caramel apples at the Cafe. It allows me to still have fun with candy but also get that apple in there as well since…”An apple a day keeps the doctor away!”.

So this year I decided I wanted to do a little more educating when it comes to sugar and the immune system. What is the physiology behind sugar and the immune system and why is sugar so detrimental?

Interesting to note, October-February seems to be dubbed “Cold and Flu Season”. I would like to open your minds a little bit to the fact that it may be better termed “Sugar Season”. Halloween starts with the candy that can last for weeks, then Thanksgiving is filled with deserts, and December is the month of endless holiday parties, Christmas cookies, wine and other cocktails.

Do you want the physiology? The major players in the immune system, namely the white blood cells, need vitamin C in order to do their work. Vitamin C and sugar have a similar structure and if sugar is around, it will bind to the activation site and block Vit C. When you ingest sugar you can think of your immune system slowing down to a crawl. Not a good thing. Then do that over and over for days, weeks and potentially 2 straight months…guess what? COLDS and FLU VIRUSES set in!!

So let’s approach this holiday season with a little more awareness…and a little more will power to steer clear of all that sugar. Indulge some, but keep it to a minimum and I bet you will find more energy to enjoy the celebrations, friends and family, and I bet you will come through the winter season a little happier and healthier.

I am by no means saying that I keep my diet completely clear of sugar. On most days I do however I found myself digging in some on Halloween with all the goodies we had at the Cafe of LIFE. I also found myself experiencing some intense sugar cravings on Tuesday, needing extra sleep on Tuesday night and a good portion of Wednesday and am finally feeling back to normal. It is fun while it lasts…tastes great while it is in your mouth and I feel good about it all for about 3-4 minutes. Then I spend 3 full days recovering from it all. It simply is not worth it.

We may as well do the best we can with the choices of what we put in in our bodies…we only get one chance.

TRY SOMETHING NEW

It was just over a week ago that i brought a friend to yoga class with me. He had never done yoga and going to the studio for the first time can create a little bit of anxiety not knowing what to expect. The class was amazing as usual and he did great. At the end of the evening I told him I was glad he was game for attending that class…and his response “I am up for just about anything as long as it doesn’t leave a permanent scar, I don’t have to get a tetanus shot and it doesn’t ruin my credit”.

Initially I laughed pretty hard…but since then I have been pondering how much power is behind those simple words. Life is all about having experiences, relating to others and learning…and that particular statement is all encompassing. How many times have you found yourself bowing out of something because “Its too cold”, “Its too hot”, “Its too hard”, “Its too early”, “Its too uncomfortable”, “I don’t have time”, “I’m too tired”, “I’m not strong enough”, “I have too much to do”. We make those excuses time after time and we watch life fly by and really miss out on some pretty great things.

I do my best to life my life in a way that puts me in places to have rich, rewarding experiences. Sometimes it is intimidating to enter into some of those situations I have no idea about and do something for the first time. Generally I have found that the more nervous I am about something, the more amazing I feel when I am finished. So instead of placing too many restrictions and being a fair-weather participant…how about creating a couple simple restrictions of your own, or adopting those three simple ones…doesn’t leave a permanent scar, no tetanus shot and doesn’t ruin your credit. Life becomes really, really exciting when you live like that and you will find yourself doing things you never even knew were on the menu…at least that is what I have found so far. We only get one chance…let’s make it to the end with no regrets!

SUMMER IS HERE

What a beautiful long weekend!!! It really feels like summer now. For some reason Mother Nature feels that the people from Michigan can handle going from 50s right to 80s and 90s. For those of us that live in this amazing state…if it means we get to see th

e sun, WE WILL TAKE IT!!! There is a certain feeling that comes along with summer. I think it may have to do with the shedding of all the layers we have to wear during the winter in order to keep warm. Once summer comes, even something as simple as being able to wear flip flops is so freeing.

We are incredibly blessed with all the water and lakes that surround us. In this great little town alone, we probably have 8 or 9. Life on the lake is really nice. I am fortunate that my parents live on the lake just south of town and on the weekends, my brothers and their families gather and we hang out and play all day. We usually gather with food and music and spend the entire day chatting, catching some rays and watching my niece, Charlei, learn about the water, sand and navigating the deck. It is a lot of fun and has become my most favorite thing to do. Yesterday was wonderfully hot, the lake was incredibly busy, and the water was amazingly refreshing. Everything wrapped up around 7 or so and everyone headed home to get some final rest before the week begins again. I headed down a couple doors to a small gathering that was happening, chatted for a few minutes and helped them clean up… And that is when it happened…I had my first bite of watermelon. I don’t know anything that says “welcome to summer” more than biting into fresh watermelon. It’s summertime. Get out there and enjoy yourself!

TIPS

Last night I had the privilege of being 1 of around 2,000 people listening to Deepak Chopra right up in Flint! The CRIM Foundation brought him in, we had to register early but we got in free and they paid for all the parking downtown so that was free too. AMAZING!!! I need to review my notes and I will write a little more at a later time about the actual lecture, however on each seat there was a brochure with some “Things you can do to become a healthier you” that I wanted to share with you. I think the brochure originated from CRIM and Deepak Chopra and this is word for word right from it.

“Things you can do to become a healthier you:

1. Work out regularly! Do something for your cardiovascular health, your flexibility and your strength at least 4 times per week. Walk, run, swim, bicycle, skate, play tennis…Do Whatever Moves You! You’ll feel better, look better and have more physical and mental stamina.

2. Eat to live, don’t live to eat.

3. Have an empowering social network. Invest your time with those who are inspired by life and have a greater purpose to fulfill – you’ll find that you are more inspired as well.

4. Control the chaos; make your home a sanctuary. Be selective about what you bring into your home – not just in terms of physical things but also the computers, music, television, and other forms of electronic entertainment that compete for attention.

5. Start a daily meditation/prayer/quiet-time practice. This can be as little as 10-20 minutes but research has proven the stress-relieving and health benefits. Not to mention, it’s been proven to extend your life.

Personal Commitment Statement:

Starting today, I commit to working toward a healthier me and to helping my family be healthier. I know that by doing so, I am also contributing to a healthier community – physically, socially, and economically.”

Good stuff, huh? Simple too! Health is a choice that we have to make every single morning when we wake up. We may as well choose to be healthy since we only get one chance…

EVERY YEAR…

…around the birthday time for the Cafe of LIFE, I ask people for 3 words that describe their experience here. That small piece of paper is then entered into a drawing for some gift certificates, shirts, bags, etc here at the Cafe of LIFE. Last year I decided to post all the words on here so that I had a place to remember them since knowing that people describe the Cafe using these words is a HUGE compliment to the staff and I.

…positive, professional, friendly, relaxing, comforting, peaceful, welcome, kindness, easy, convenient, personable, healing, compassionate, laid-back, cool, friendliness, caring, wonderful, pleasant, fun, calming, helpful, healthy, hopeful, welcoming, complete, calming, enlightening, healthy, friendly, awesome, nice, relaxing, positive, altering, happy, healing, peaceful, wonderful, I love Erica, I love Teri, fun, great people, serenity, practical, makes me feel good, everyone makes me laugh, great experience, relaxing, hopeful, life-changing, convenient, expedient, amazing, fun, life change, positive, exciting, P.S. everyone is friendly, relaxing, rejuvenating, therapeutic, sense of well-being, uplifting, inspiring, amazing, relief, comfort, relaxation, release, healthy, re-aligning with LIFE, enlightening, growth, encouraging, healing, welcoming, did I say healing?, peace, health, calmness, thankful, rejuvenated, health, relaxing, friendly, refreshed, energized, relaxed, relief, learning, comfortable, invigorating, healing, fun, relaxing, stress-release, calming, wonderful, helpful, hopeful, relief, refresh, fun, painless, peaceful, restoring, cheerful, healing, grateful, new, me again, straight, relaxing, new, feel better, friendly, always smells good, relaxed, clear, energized, educational, serenity, rejuvenating, delightful, awareness, awaken, alive, relaxing, inviting, efficient, calming, relaxing, comfortable atmosphere, understanding, gentle, kind, relaxing, helps, relieves pain, wonderful, pleasant, fantastic, relaxing I love Erica, friendly I love Angie, awesome I love Teri, good health, peace, calming…

There were another 20 or more of the word “relaxing” but I didn’t want to keep writing it.

Bottom line…I think we are doing our job and we are looking forward to many more years to come. Thank you to all of you for adding to our Cafe of LIFE community!!!

YOGA TEACHER TRAINING

As many of you know, I practice yoga…a lot. I have been committed to cultivating my inner yogi for the past 4 years and spend 2-3 nights at Ethos Yoga Studio in Holly http://www.ethosyoga.net/.

It is one of my passions and helps to make me a better person in this world. My usual classes are Monday and Wednesday night over at Ethos and Friday afternoon either there or down at Center For Yoga in Birmingham http://www.centerforyoga.com/. It is therapeutic for me; mind, body and spirit. It is absolutely one of the greatest things I have added to my life and spend a lot of time talking about it during the day at the Cafe of LIFE. In order for the body to be and stay healthy, it needs to move. I haven’t found a better way to move the body than to flow and twist and turn in a yoga class and would highly recommend it in some way to everyone.

Tomorrow starts a new phase of yoga for me. I am always on the hunt for rich, rewarding experiences and I will begin a Yoga Teacher Training course over at Ethos Yoga. The course is 3 months long and is designed to immerse trainees in the yoga philosophy. We will be practicing yoga on a daily basis on our own or in a class. We will develop a personal meditation practice on our own and in class. We will change our eating habits to vegetarian or vegan. So this is going to be in addition to what I already have going on which is running a really fun chiropractic practice, hosting an amazing Book Club, giving Half Hour to Health lectures, participating in an awesome Walking Club, being a dog mom, and a runner amongst many other activities I am involved in. It means getting up an hour earlier and time managing a little better. It means studying and spending a lot of down time reading and writing. I look forward to it. I will keep you posted during the process.

(pictures are right off Ethos website; Kel Leigh Coale photography)