injury – We Only Get One Chance

FIVE LAYERS OF NOTHING

I have found an entire five layers of nothing.

What on Earth does that mean????

I AM OVER IT!!!!!!

I am over talking about this boot and I am REALLY OVER wearing it! I am being restricted in my life but I also realize that the patience I have had and the grace I have afforded myself through this process has been the reason I am making any progress at all.

Chiropractor Fenton Michigan - Five Layers of Nothing - Dr Erica Peabody

I have always been an athlete and directly involved in the fitness industry through my late teens and all the way through my 20s. These are the years when habits form and I have formed a strong habit of working out on a regular basis.

Prior to June of this year, I would have some sort of movement or exercise as part of my day, every single day. Intensity varied of course, some days it would be as simple as a 20-30 minute walk while others I would attend a 60 minute step class or a 75 minute hot vinyasa yoga class.

I live an active lifestyle, yes that is so true…but now I have realized something else.

In March 2017 is when I climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro. I trained hard leading up to that and of course the 8 days of climbing was the most grueling physical activity I have done in my life up to this point.

When I returned home I continued with my “normal” workouts but also jumped in on a 6 week yoga challenge at Bent Yoga. The challenge was to do 32 classes in 42 days and started at the end of April through beginning of June. As I did that and earned my free t-shirt, I was noticing an increase in pain over those weeks and so I decided that I would scale way back on my workouts.

Scaling back meant taking a month break from the hot vinyasa classes at the yoga studio, no step class and no running. This felt like I was “doing nothing” as compared to what I had been doing for decades.

By the end of June, my hopes were to be able to start to train to run the Crim 10 mile road race that I have run every year for the past 12 years. By the end of June, there was no way to start running as it was getting difficult to even walk which resulted in me putting an end to my regular walks. Having to take that out of my regular days it really felt like I was “doing nothing”.

I was still going to the gym and mindfully walking around and lifting weights, core work and my boyfriend and I were still riding bikes (since that was not weight-bearing). Although x-ray and MRI showed nothing was wrong, all of that got to be too much and I had to cut out bikes and all yoga and that really, really felt like I was “doing nothing”.

Then it got to the point that weights had to go, gym time had to end completely because I was too tempted to do too much if I went to the gym. If I did go to the gym, I would simply alternate going from the cold plunge to the hot tub and back to the cold plunge. This was really the end, this time I was really “doing nothing”.

Just when I thought I was “doing nothing”, I would still be racing around my office all day long but then get home and want to spend my off-time shopping and getting other things done. Then Mike put his foot down, raised his hand at me and said “Babe, just sit there. Let me get your shoes for you. What do you need upstairs? Where is it and let me climb the stairs for you. When you have time off of work, just chill and relax.”

This was the very end of “doing nothing”. This was truly nothing.

Just when I thought I was “doing nothing” back in June, layers and layers of “doing nothing” showed up after it. As I have chatted about this, I will sit back and laugh at how twisted and skewed my brain is surrounding physical activity. I have laughed at just how ridiculous the standards I have kept for myself have been.

When I tell people this they ask me “How do you survive and keep your sanity while you are ‘doing nothing’?”

Three words: Meditation, gratitude lists and journaling.

When my major release of stress usually happens through physical activity, I had to find a good combination of some things I could commit to in order to keep my sanity. All three of the above have been part of my wellness routine regularly over the past years however daily commitment to all three has been key.

So maybe that was part of the Universe’s plan during this “boot camp” of sorts. I have found a lot of time to cultivate inner peace through this process and I actually feel really good. Of course I am also itching to start walking and get back in the yoga studio regularly, however having these things in my regular day to day, allows me to be patient with this healing process.

Working all the way down through the five layers of nothing has been like peeling through the layers of an onion and although it has been difficult to sit still, I have learned so much. More than anything I have found a real appreciation of the difference between the time to do lots of things and the time to truly do nothing. …and Universe, if you are listening, may I pretty please with sugar on top get back to at least my regular daily walks now if I promise to keep them around 15-20 minutes??

THE SECOND STRAP

He always reaches for the second strap.

It doesn’t matter how many hundreds of times I have put this walking boot on, he reaches for that second strap to help out.

Most of you know I have been in a walking boot since early August. This has been an overuse injury do to my climb of Mt. Kilimanjaro back in March. Actually it didn’t happen on the mountain, it was when I got home and never took the proper time to rest that the injury happened. And beyond that I have been dealing with plantar fasciitis off and on for the past 4 years in my left foot. It was simply the perfect storm of events.

The trip to Mt. Kilimanjaro was life changing and amazing however since Kilimanjaro it has been the best seven months of my life and all due to meeting one heck of an incredible man.

He has been such a light in my life and I will be sharing our incredible life adventures as we go but I wanted to introduce you all to Mike.

He is the most kind, gentle, generous, hilarious and loving man I have ever been around and I feel lucky to even be able to hang out with someone like him on a regular basis and even luckier to be loved and supported by him.

The other day as I was leaving to head back into work after my lunch, he was there grabbing the boot and helping me. Of course I am the only one that knows exactly when I am putting it on and taking it off but as soon as I grab and velcro or un-velcro the first strap, he always grabs the second strap. I got choked up “Even after all this time, how do you just keep doing that and helping me?”

Last week must have marked 500 (not exaggerating) times or so that I have taken this boot off and put it back on. If he is with me, he jumps up from any place and is instantly up in my business and helping me get this thing back on and he is always fast enough to grab the second strap. There are 5 total and by the time he has his hands on the second strap he is fixing the rest of them up for me to go out and take on the world. Every. Single. Time.

We have worked and camped and traveled and danced and played since I have had this boot on. He is always always always making sure it is handled.

There is an air pump on the boot that pumps air around the liner and softens the hard rough corners of the boot. He knows it takes 8 pumps to pump it up to a comfortable level and that when I stand up it needs 2 more pumps of air for it to be solid. He counts out loud as he does it. It comforts me.

I have never ever known a man so willing to help me in my life. He is there for the fun times but also there, right by my side for the mundane-ness of life…like taking this boot off and putting it back on. The extent of his help is endless, I am just using this simple task as illustration.

I would be a liar if I said this has all been easy for me but honestly, to accept help in my life isn’t easy to begin with and it has taken this long to really be alright with leaning on him. His continual willingness to grab that second strap has been eye-opening, as well as mind-boggling. For the 40 years of my life so far, I have never had so much help, love and support.

Does it sound strange to say that I believe the Universe sent me such a crazy injury that needed so much tending to and sent him at the same time just so I could truly have a shift in my being and allow him to infiltrate my life? Does it sound crazy that this boot has been like a “boot camp” of sorts to break me down, break all the guards down and teach me to allow someone, him, in?

A friend said to me the other day “I sympathize with your foot thing as I dealt with something similar for 6 months. It took me getting to a place in my mind that if this is how it was going to be for the rest of my life, if this pain is permanent and I have to deal with this limitation for life, I accept that as my reality…and then I started healing.”

That hit me like a ton of bricks mostly because I have learned to accept it into my life with the condition that it is just for the time being assuming it will heal and feel better. But taking the idea up a level to the concept that if I have to live in this boot for the rest of my life and be alright with that has really allowed a huge emotional release for me and I can feel the healing happen…on many levels.

…because if I get to have his help with this (which I am finally healing so I will be back to normal in the next few weeks so I won’t need help with it for a lifetime BUT there are ALWAYS other obstacles) life for the rest of my life, I open my arms and heart fully and accept it.

After all of these months and never wavering ever even once, I know he will always be by my side ready to grab that second strap and help me move forward. I am forever grateful for his love.

#YOGAEVERYDAMNDAY

As a compliment to my calling as a chiropractor, I am yogi and have been for decades now. If you are in the yoga community, you know that there are online yoga challenges happening all the time, all over the world. I finally decided to join one called “#yogaeverydamnday”.

The point of this challenge is have yoga as part of “every damn day” no matter what. It doesn’t mean to strike a pose and take a picture (although to some people it does). Yoga is a way to mindfulness…or is it mindfulness is a way to yoga? To me, they are one and the same. To me, it also means to move the body in some mindful way to bring our awareness and existence back to the present moment.

Every day I would find a bit of time, some days was a little and some days was a lot, to do some form of yoga and then share a bit about that day. (It is all on Instagram @drericapeabody)

I have been a yogi for over 20 years. In a past life, I taught yoga for years inside of a gym setting (have I told you that in said “past life” I was a group fitness instructor?). I also took Yoga Teacher Training with Ethos Yoga about 4 years ago. I didn’t take the teacher training curriculum in order to teach yoga in my current life, it was more about bringing even further awareness into my own personal practice, I don’t have the ability to commit to more in my regular week at the current moment. Who knows, maybe someday.

You also probably know about the walking boot I am currently wearing that I discussed in one of the “Sitting on the Sidelines” blog posts. My physical yoga practice has taken a back seat to my healing and I haven’t been able to attend many classes since June. Following my summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro in March I was fine while taking a yoga class, but after class my foot would start screaming and I decided was not doing it any favors to continue so I took a break.

September rolled around and one of the people I follow on Instagram, Rachel Brathen aka “Yoga Girl”, decided to do her “Yoga Every Damn Day” challenge for 30 days. I needed a little shift for myself and decided I would join.

After decades of yoga, I like to attend very specific hot, intense and sweaty classes with specific instructors. I am reminded of the irony of having rigid guidelines of classes and instructors as I practice more and more yoga…seems it should be the other way around. Honestly, if I am going to be in class, I want to spend my time exactly how I want to practice and I have my favorite instructors all over the region, just depends on the day and time for which one I would attend.

I also love yoga for the community aspect of it. Doing yoga with other people has a very different feel than practicing solo, or at least in my mind.

I am currently limited in my range of motion as well as the ability to get into different postures. But inside of the the 30 day challenge framework I just mentioned, I learned so much.

During the month I did make it to a couple classes, having to modify almost every posture…I learned new modifications.

Some days I felt like I am all the way back to square one with my practice, a beautiful reminder of all the progress i have made.

The only way in and out of the postures is through breath and where in my life can I take some deep breathes?

As the 30 days progressed, I relished going back to the basics and cherished the strength I have built in my core.

My movements were slow and very deliberate. Where else in my life can I be slower and more deliberate?

I had to change many of the transitions in and out of postures. Are there other paths in my life I can or should alter?

As I look around in life, I see so many ways yoga has opened my eyes and offered me different perspective on life outside of the yoga studio. That is the whole point of yoga and is one of the most powerful parts of having a regular practice.

Of course there is also the part about being flexible so as life comes at me, I can bend instead of breaking.

Thank you #yogaeverydammnday challenge, i have learned more in the past 30 days about myself and my life and how to alter and modify things and be ok with doing less than I am used to. In the end, I am so very very grateful that my body even allows me to move around like this at all…and I am (fingers crossed) can announce that I am on my way (although slow) back to a BOOT FREE LIFE!!!!