THE FIRST OF 19

Over the past week, my family and I have been mourning the loss of my aunt.  Have I told you that my Mom is one of ten kids and my Dad is one of nine?  So to say I come from a HUGE family is a slight understatement.  My Aunt Lisa was the youngest of my Mom’s siblings and she is also the very youngest of all 19 of them.  She died of a heart attack and it was shock to the entire family and everyone in her life at a mere 50 years of age. 

Being from such a large family, when tragic things happen, everyone pulls together.  We spent 4 full days together talking about the incident, her life, her contributions and where the family will go from here.  The conversations were sprinkled with bouts of crying and fits of laughter.  We are not short of comedians in our family and the mixture of the humor and the sadness does an interesting thing to the physiology and helps things to process.  I am sure you have found yourself in an intense moment that was interrupted by a shift created from laughter. 

I learned a lot from sitting around and listening to the stories that were shared.  Two important lessons have surfaced from it all that I wanted to share with you. 

LESSON #1 :  SHOW UP!  My Aunt Gail, one of Lisa’s sisters said one of the things that came to mind when she thought about Lisa was that “She showed up.”  It is so true…whenever there was something going on, or someone needed something, Lisa showed up.  She showed up for family functions and parties.  She showed up for her husband and 3 children.  She showed up for her own friends and friends of her children.  She showed up for the family.  She showed up at work and for her co-workers.  She showed up.  This concept makes me look at my life and ask the question…”Am I showing up?”  And furthermore, “How am I showing up?”  and “Am I giving it 100%?”

LESSON #2:  PLAY FULL OUT!   If life was a game, Aunt Lisa played full out.  She always had a good time.  She celebrated a lot and was usually in the middle of any conversation that was happening.  If she didn’t start the conversation but wanted to be in it…you would her her raspy voice say, slightly under her breath, “What are you guys talking about?”.  If she was around in the room, you probably could hear her laugh.  Somewhere in the Callard lineage there is a gene for loud laughter, and she expressed that gene strongly.  After the funeral on Monday, I heard someone say, “You know, she was only 50 when she passed, however she lived more in those 50 years than others do who live into their 80s or 90s.”  What a great awareness and awesome perspective to have on what seemed to be a life cut short. 

My first real memories of Aunt Lisa were when I would babysit for her children.  At the time, she happened to be living in the same subdivision where I currently live and though the house is no longer there, I have vivid memories of being there a lot.  Over the past few months I have spent quite a bit of time running the roads around my house, passing that location twice per run and of course, like I do a lot, thinking about life. 

With the sudden passing of Lisa last week, and her funeral just a couple days ago, along with my regular morning runs and thoughts about life, that particular location has new meaning to me.  I will forever hold it as a place during my runs where I turn inside and remember to SHOW UP everyday and in every way in my life and PLAY FULL OUT!  What better way to start the day than with reminders like that.  I haven’t dealt with much death up to this point in my life, and am of course dreading the idea of the other 18 passing, however there are always lessons to learn about LIFE from both living and dying…and for that, I am grateful.  Thank you Aunt Lisa for those very important lessons and may you rest peacefully.

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