Grandmother – We Only Get One Chance

PUMPING GAS

I pulled up to a pump the other day to put gas in my car and it was impossible not to notice the TV that was blaring the news station and telling me about all the stuff going on in the world. It dawned on me that more and more gas pumps are coming equipped with TVs so that you don’t have to just “stand there”, you can catch up on the world events while pumping gas.

It really struck me on that particular morning. Many of you know that I do not have TV at home. I have a TV and I have capability to stream movies through Amazon Prime but that’s it. It is only turned on about once every 2 months to watch a movie, if even that. TV is just not something that I participate with at all. Because of this, I am super sensitive to them when they are on.

So as I am standing there getting the doom and gloom of the world right at the gas pump, I begin to think how did this all come about? How did the demand for TV to be right at the gas pump happen? Someone thought of that idea, invented a TV that could be installed at the gas pump, marketed to the gas stations and the gas stations bought into it.

I am not saying that is a bad thing, its truly BRILLIANT!!!

For some reason as humans, we cannot just stand there and pump gas and think? That makes me nervous. I have quite a few little ones in my life through my family and my practice, Cafe of LIFE Chiropractic, and I am noticing that it is harder and harder for them to be still and not stimulated by technology, TV or something of that nature.

I remember growing up with “I’m bored” coming from my mouth from time to time. However “I’m bored” just was something to say when I didn’t feel like using my imagination and finding/creating something to do.

I am curious if kids are getting much of a chance to develop their imagination anymore. Life is so filled with someone else’s creation, someone else’s imagination, projected on a screen and I am certain this is taking away from developing their own. Imagination is like a muscle and needs to be worked.

We used to take family road trips out west, hours and hours and hours in the car with four kids. We didn’t have movie players and gaming systems, we had the radio and our imagination and maybe some crayons and coloring books. That was it. Now it seems some people drive to the grocery store and need to have movies on in the car. I am, by no means, saying this is wrong because there are many good reasons for this. However, what if we just look out the windows, look around, maybe play “I spy” or something and start to engage the imaginative and observation parts of the mind…especially for the little ones but adults too!

Let’s take a moment and glance back through this past week. I am curious to know if there has been any time set aside to be able to just think. Taking some deliberate time to just think is a way we can asses our direction in life. It is a way to reflect back and see what patterns are happening in life and, if expanded out over the next multiple years in life, where that may take us.

A few years back, when my grandmother was still alive, she would see her grandchildren on their phones constantly and directly ask “When do you kids take any time to just think?’

Many of the new patients coming into the office these days check the box “anxiety” as one of their symptoms. I believe some of this is from the high speed pace of life and filling every single moment of each day with technology. Though I do not have TV, I am equally as guilty as the rest with wanting to fill quiet spaces with technology. I have set deliberate time aside to be “screen-free” and am changing my morning routine to delay my first screen interaction.

I am, in no way, saying anything is good or bad. I am, in no way, nay-saying on kids and TV. What I am asking is maybe we take a closer look at the AMOUNT of time spend in front of a screen. And though it is difficult because the gas pump TVs are SO LOUD, maybe take those 3 minutes to pump your gas to think about your life, your family or your significant other. If you are on a undesirable trajectory in life, I am not sure those 3 minutes pumping gas will give you enough insight to realize it, but awareness is the beginning of anything.

It amazed me how much I learned from pumping gas that day. Just something to think about since we only get one chance!!!

“HELLO! HELLO! HELLO!”

“HELLO! HELLO! HELLO!” is such a familiar greeting in my childhood. “Mom, why does grandma say ‘Hello’ three times when we walk in?” my 7 year old self would ask as we walked into my grandmother’s home who lived just one mile down the street from where I grew up.

I just heard that familiar greeting as I am sitting in the living room at my grandmother’s home in her golf oasis in Florida as a few of her friends arrive for a visit. I have been here all weekend with some other family members as my grandmother moves nearer and nearer to THE final destination. Yes, she is dying. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not this week. Probably not next week or the week after. Within a month or two she will leave this earthly plane but in the meantime she is alive and living the best that she can and we are here to experience some of that.

I feel fortunate to be privy to some of the stories that are shared in such an intimate setting. I always knew my grandmother was strong, powerful, full of life and opinionated. However, as I sit and listen the stories this weekend (and of course stories I have heard over the years) she is also a real person with real life experiences, has had many ups and downs, has shed a lot of tears, has found love and happiness and has the most contagious, roaring laugh on the planet.

My Mom is here, a few aunts and uncles, with other neighborhood friends of my grandparent’s stopping by during the days. Grandma is spending most of the day relaxing, reminiscing and resting. We have done a lot of sitting and talking, literally hours of sitting and talking. We have all shed tears, shared stories, asked questions and done a ton of laughing. In fact, the first morning I woke up here, I thought to myself how great it is to be awakened from sleep by roaring family laughter, especially considering these circumstances.

During this time, we have drawn out the family tree. My grandmother birthed 10 children. My grandfather, who isn’t my grandfather by blood but has been “Grandpa” to me for close to 30 years, has 7 children of his own. There are layers of grandchildren and great grandchildren and the total count of immediate family comes to 96 people total. WOW!!! Isn’t that an absolute monstrosity of a family!!!

“It’s a myth that a big family is always happy. We have our share of tears, but there is a network support system that always goes into gear in time of need. My children were the reason I got up in the morning” a direct quote from my grandmother back in 1981 when she was voted “Mother of the Year” by the local Fenton newspaper at the time.

That “network support system” has always been a central idea to how our family was run and I see it in my generation, especially when it comes to my own siblings and nearest and dearest. That theme is a powerful part of what my life was built around especially considering my dad was one of his own natural support network of 9 children.

There is nothing like family, absolutely nothing that can replace these blood connections. When family gets to these numbers, there are good eggs and bad eggs, however we are all connected and always will be connected in a way that runs strong and deep behind the scenes…and largely due to the ideas of the amazing matriarch that started this show.

My grandmother is a legend and one of my heroes. I know she will never truly grasp in this lifetime the extent of her extraordinary life and contribution to this world. She will never realize what an amazing person she is, her beauty, her strength and how much good she contributed while she is here. But her faith is strong and I know she will figure that out as soon as she sheds her current failing body.

When she leaves this earthly plane, she will travel effortlessly to wherever she believes Heaven is and I know God will know when she arrives because he will hear her roaring laughter and her infamous “HELLO! HELLO! HELLO!”. May peace be with you in your process of transitioning, Grandma, and thanks in advance for watching over all 95 of us from the other side.

"BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT."

Some days I a reminded of how absolutely wonderful my family is…today was one of those days. My Grandma Peabody passed peacefully last Friday and today was her funeral and life celebration. I have been in a gratitude state of mind through the whole transitioning process for the past couple weeks. She had suffered from heart challenges and her mind was slipping over the past years and I am grateful she is liberated from her failing body. I am grateful to live close to her and spend time with her through it all and especially over the past week. I am grateful for my family and the time we have shared and of course the time we spent together today.

Though in this gratitude state of mind, I knew deep down inside there was a really st

Chiropractor Fenton Michigan - Dr Erica Peabody - But I don't know how to do that

rong sadness. I am able to hold it all together and go about my life and business, and as long as that stuff is calling my attention, I can stay in gratitude. I was in my practice this morning until noon and the condolences just kept coming and for that I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I got changed and jumped into my car and decided to stop and grab a quick bite to eat. I ran into a friend while doing so and another gracious “I’m so sorry for your loss.” I got back into my car and tried to eat and that is when it hit me. I was about to meet my family at the church and say “Good-Bye” to my Grandmother one last time.

I haven’t dealt with much death in my life up to this point. Prior to today, I could only speculate how I was going to respond to the situation. But if you know me, I am a pretty sensitive gal and I was a little startled at how much emoting my body needed to do and no better place then right there with some of the people that love me the most. It was a really wonderful thing to hold my nephew during portions of the service who is brand new on this Earth and the dichotomy of that experience. There were a lot of people present at her funeral to celebrate her and how she touched them in some way.

I tend to be one of few questions and spend a lot of my time in silent observation. I loved to listen to her stories and look at pictures but I never knew how to ask questions that would begin the stories. Today, an aunt and uncle stood up and shared her life with everyone and that portion really meant a lot to me.

My Grandmother was only 4’11” yet a powerful rock, a kind woman, a natural phenomenon like a rainbow, mother to 9 children, grandmother to 19 and great-grandmother to 14 so far, of Irish decent, raised in Canada, loved the fruit growing business, lover of the arts, nurtured growth in all things, was involved in female empowerment, an artist, a world traveler, had an entrepreneurial spirit, lover of nature, a fabulous cook, welcomed everyone, there was always room for another kid in the house and always room enough for one more at the table, trained as a medical tech, worked on the family farm in Birmingham, met my Grandpa there (stole him from his girlfriend), she was a dreamer, accepting of all humans, involved in numerous committees, lived her life in strong faith, found joy in the success of her children and was a “mirror” for them to discover themselves, a caramel apple connoisseur, a wonderful wife, a loving mother and I actually can hear her distinct voice as I write this blog.

Just a few short days before her death, my aunt was sitting at her bedside and she woke up and wanted to know “What is happening to me?” My Aunt responded, “Mom, you are dying.” My Grandmother then said, “But I don’t know how to do that.” This particular interaction really pulls on my heart strings. At a certain point, I am sure she was uneasy about “Not knowing how to do that.” but she sure found a way to do it peacefully and allowed each one of the 33 of us (plus spouses and significant others and friends) join her on that journey the best way we knew how. A little piece of her will grow old again with each one of us and every time I see a rainbow, I will rest well knowing there is one more angel that watches over me in this lifetime. Rest peacefully Grandma and know that you are so loved.