relationship – We Only Get One Chance

It Is What It Is

It is what it is.

Have you listened around in your life and realized just how many times you hear this phrase? Anyone hear this phrase daily? Do you notice your coworkers, family and even strangers saying this phrase?

If you haven’t noticed already, you will now. You’re welcome. 😉

This phrase is 2-fold for me. “It is what it is” can clearly mean that there is absolutely nothing you can do in this moment except to just accept the truth and reality of the moment. “It is what it is” can also mean that the only thing TO DO is to just let it go…and honestly that is one of the healthiest things that we can do inside of our life at times, LET THINGS GO!!!

“It is what it is” inside of the work place or dealing with traffic during your commute (and I know a lot of local people that are dealing with commuter stress of an additional half hour to hour in the car one way) can be beyond frustrating. This can mean a few things: look for a new job, find joy inside of a job that you didn’t think there was any, change your feeling about your current job as a “stepping stone” rather than a forever place, or find a way to be productive (listen to audio books or podcasts) during your commute. “It is what it is” can feel very dis-empowering and at the same time, awareness that change is needed.

It can also be very empowering! “It is what it is” is an avenue for letting go of things we should let go of anyway. I was listening to a podcast the other day and someone was saying

“Remember that thing this time last year that you lost weeks of sleep over?” “Yes, I remember.” “Well how did it work out?” “It worked out way better than I could have ever imagined.” “Well let’s not worry ourselves into endless sleepless nights over things. They will always work out.”

Inside of our health, “It is what it is.” is incredibly dis-empowering and in a way our culture and the media has led us to believe this. Even though it may seem true, we are NOT victims of our genes. Yes, there are times when genes play a role, but those are minimal and genes expression is controlled by the environment that is mostly created by us individually.

Every single choice you make of what to put into your mouth, every choice you make about how to move your body, what to do with your free time, how to handle the inevitable stress in your life is what determines how your body will be respond. If we put an apple or a cookie in our mouths, it matters. If we get outside for a walk or sit in front of a screen somewhere, it matters. If we get enough rest at night or choose to burn the candle at both ends, it matters. Our current state of health “is what it is” because of US!!!! The the greatest thing about that is we can make different choices.

Inside of relationships “It is what it is” is borderline unacceptable. If you wander around in your daily life, you may notice a few couples and families that just seem to have a zest for life and what they are doing, together and as individuals, and others that seem to live in chronic unhappiness. “It is what it is” is no way to be inside a lifetime but here is the super cool thing! I am no relationship expert (you can say that again), but it is a choice!

It is a choice to put a smile on your face and start the day like that, or put a frown on your face and project that on to your nearest and dearest. Life is not all rainbows and butterflies but I heard the following brilliant statement just earlier today that “Your face is your fault!” meaning that your smiling face or your pouting face is your own fault. I LOVE THAT!!! If you are around Mike and I at all, you will probably hear “Are you happy? THEN TELL YOUR FACE!!!” It is mostly a joke and is always followed by laughter, which is the whole point.

So all this “It is what it is” business is because my intention has been to write and blog and share all along the way, but it has been MONTHS that I haven’t said a thing on here…and “It is what it is.” And now I will make a better choice. Stay tuned!!!

50 YEARS

When Mike and I first started to spend time together, we talked about what life would maybe look like in the future. He mentioned maybe like 40 years from now? I told him that is ABSOLUTE BS to bow out of here 40 years from now and that I was requiring 50 years!!

We would stay up really late at night and recall the day that just passed and the time spent together. We would ask each other 50 year questions that sounded like this…

“Do you think you could handle me rubbing your back like this for 50 years?”

“Do you think you can keep rubbing my back for 50 years?”

“If we laughed like we did today, do you think we could make that kind of laughter last for 50 years?”

“Will you always help me with my leg, even if I have to wear this stupid boot for 50 years?”

“Will you be this kind to me for 50 years?”

“Do you think it is possible to maintain this sweet, sincere and innocent connection we have for 50 years?”

“Will you want to talk to me and share stories for 50 years?”

“Will you be able to manage me and the way I am inside of the world for 50 years?”

“Can you handle being in tight and close connection with my family for 50 years?”

“Will you want to go on adventures and make that last for 50 years?”

“Will you always kiss and hug me like you do right now? Do you think that can last for 50 years?”

“Will you be able to laugh at my jokes for 50 years?”

“Will you stay this supportive in and around my life for 50 years?”

“Do you think you can manage me helping in your life for 50 years?”

The 50 years questions go on and on and on, even to this day. It is silly things and serious things and everything in between.

But to each and every one of those questions and so many more we both answer “YES!!!!!”

Last night, at my family’s old orchard setting turned Peabody Ice Climbing central, in front of 150 people, many family members and apparently they were all in on it unbeknownst to me, he stole the microphone he asked me to marry him.

“YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” was my answer.

…and so the story begins.

I am in tears and at a complete loss of words on how to really share this story at this point and all that has gone on since Mike and I met. I have rarely mentioned a man during any of my writings over the years because it just wasn’t quite right.

This is different.

This is right.

Here’s to 50 years!!!

NOTHING

“Nothing” is my answer.

I was at a family party last Saturday night. Of course at this age, everyone wants to know how my dating life is and of course, most also know that I am working on building a house, so they are asking about my house.

I walk in the door and greet my cousin (who is sort of in the same boat as I am in life) and her and I discuss much deeper topics and catch up for a few moments.

The next corner I turn, I run into another cousin and the question is “What’s going on with your dating life?’

I respond, “Nothing.”

“Oh really? Ok. Well then tell me what progress you have made with your house?”

“Nothing” And honestly at this point in time I don’t really feel like talking about it if that is all I am to this person. So I cut that conversation quickly and turn the next corner of the house and run into an aunt, “What’s happening with your dating life? What’s going on with your house?”

“Nothing. Nothing.”

“No really, what is happening?”

“No really, nothing.”

I turn the conversation around on them and ask some questions about life but it was almost like I had sort of put the kibosh on the connection by answering my truth, which is “nothing”.

I turned yet another corner and a family friend started the same conversation with me all over again. And then of course is the ever so cliche comment of “How is someone like you still single?” which I constantly hear from every corner of my life.

“Who knows. Good question.” …and I really mean that.

So here is the deal, people, I am FAR MORE than who I am dating and where I am living! In fact, I believe the contrast on that particular evening was so strong because I spent the entire day leading up to that party at a most incredible and enlightening seminar on “Developmental Neurobiology” and although I couldn’t necessarily convey all of the information I learned that day in that seminar, I could have shared some. I am also working on a full Pediatric Chiropractic Certification which is far above and beyond the normal chiropractic degree and is a 2 year post-graduate program put on by the International Chiropractic Pediatric Association that I am incredibly passionate about.

I also have started taking an intense kettlebell class that is changing my entire physical makeup and spending my time at some of the coolest yoga classes. I also have done a ton of reading and lots of writing, hung out with some great friends and am planning or just went on a trip most of the time.

I also am a pretty awesome Aunt E and I could share lots of stories about my amazing nieces and nephews and the time we have spent together.

But to these people, I am defined by who I date and where I am living. And quite frankly, since NOTHING is going on with either of those, to them, maybe I am nothing. ..and that is ok by me.

Maybe these people, as we all do from time to time, are looking for some juice somewhere in life that they can share out in the world somehow and in someway. I don’t really get it.

So I decided that I would sit down next to an interesting friend of the family and chat about running a ski resort, which is what he does, and I learned a LOT!!! Then I moved on to a couple I haven’t seen in a while but really enjoy to chat about the year just gone by and the year ahead; plans, experiences, travels, fun, laughs, work…all those kinds of things. I have decided that one or two good conversations in an evening like that is worth way more than trying to get around to everyone and stay as the “single homeless girl” (exaggerated description but you get the idea).

In saying all of that, I am also not really all that skilled in small talk to begin with. It is not my strong suit as many of you already know. That is definitely one of my faults but I’m alright with that. I also realize and am so very grateful that I get to live the blessed life that I do, this is not talking negative about any of that.

Someone said to me the other day, “You know, you have a lot of dating experiences that you should share a little bit about sometime…and I thought to myself that maybe I will. Stay tuned for maybe some stories over the next phase of this blog as hopefully my “nothing” will start to transpire into an incredible SOMETHING!!! …or at least that is my hope, on many fronts, but house and relationships in specific. l.

WHAT A WEEK!!!

To say this past week was incredible would be a complete understatement. I am not sure if I can find the words to do it any justice but I will attempt.

It has been exciting, exhilarating, perfect time and perfect place, talking, connection, love, growth, reading, developing, email, introspective, travel, peace, writing, heart-centeredness, exhausting, awesome, long hours, talking, Skype, sharing, Internet, love, books, friends, family, hungry, bliss, planning, creating, nurturing, staring, introducing, hugs, sounds, video, discussions, parents, happiness, pictures, flowing, riding waves, flowers, notes, work, p

Chiropractor Fenton Michigan - Dr Erica Peabody - What a week

lay, counsel, ideas, music, kisses, movies, voice, Facebook, Hey Tell, random facts, quotes, scrapbooks, house, lake, ice, snow, conversation, celebration, glowing, communication, energy, vulnerable, open, raw, wounds, opportunity, practice, planting seeds, simple life, pure, days, one week, favorites, feeling of readiness, special, percentages, names, togetherness, news, unpack, concerns, highlights, tremendous growth, breath, appreciation, thoughts, truth, thinking, greatness, settling in, luck, promises, responses, pleasure and singing.

It feels as though the stars have aligned and they are all on my side. Because of a few different things and my own desire for growth and evolution, and the work I am doing on myself, I can honestly say that January 12th, 2012 was a pivotal point in my life. It is as though my life can be described as “before Jan. 12th” and “after Jan. 12th”. It goes way deeper than a love connection though that is a significant part of it. Where is life heading? I know what direction it is going, however I have chosen to surrender to the fact that “I will ride the wave where it takes me”. It is uncharted territory for me, unfamiliar and uncomfortable. All I can do is trust that “As I take a step, the next one is revealed”.

Have you had an event or a culmination of events that has led to a significant shift in your being or your life? Is there a date or a time frame that you can look back at and see an obvious shift? For me, being able to share my story brings me so much joy. Maybe you feel the same way…we only get one chance in this life. Do more things that make you happy!