edge – Page 6 – We Only Get One Chance

MY FIRST BEST FRIEND

I had no idea when I was born, that my first best friend was already here waiting for me.

My cousin, Danielle, is 6 weeks older than i am and we pretty much grew up attached at the hip any chance we got. Neither of us had sisters so we became that to each other.

My house was right next door to my grandparent’s home and so every time she visited them, which was quite often, I got to see her. We did everything together, from barbies to cabbage patch kids, from building sand castles to playing in tree forts, from blazing trails through the woods and carving trees to making

Fenton Chiropractor Best Friend up stories as we spent hours out playing in the apple orchard.

We talked about our hopes and dreams and made plans for our lives. I was always so jealous she got to go to Girl Scout Camp every summer…but she made up for it by teaching me all the songs she learned when she returned. In fact, that radio in my head that plays music non-stop sometimes gets locked on that channel and as a 30-something…those songs stuck on repeat are more annoying than cool.

To this day, we make time for each other. She is one of my biggest cheerleaders, and although she doesn’t allow many to cheer for her, I am one of hers. There seems to be a length of time, that if we go past too many days without having time to sit down and catch up with each other, we both go a little crazy and make time in our schedules right away.

I sent her a text message on Friday morning about how excited I was about going to the Water Hill Music Festival in Ann Arbor next weekend, and although I knew it was still another week away, I was stoked to have some time to hang out. I had just seen her 5 days prior as her and her husband, Scott, along with a group of my nearest and dearest, spent the evening celebrating my birthday at my home.

On Friday, she didn’t respond back to that text message right away and after a few minutes she called. She doesn’t ever call, we don’t need to talk on the phone, we already know what each other is usually thinking so text and email are our norm.

Her voice was cracking. She was seriously shakin’ up. Then she proceeded to tell me that Scott, her husband, had a brain hemorrhage and is in the hospital and asked if I could come up. I had a couple obligations that day and headed up as soon as i could.

I have spent the past 2 days with my heart breaking right along side her, and I feel like these days are just the beginning of a long road. She is one of the strongest and bravest that i know. She has had her share, plus some, of adversity and challenge in her life. She keeps her head up through all of it. She plugs away and she always comes out on top. She is one incredible woman and I know those who really know her feel lucky.

Her and her husband have the most beautiful love story, reconnecting after so many years and blending their family, his 2 kids and her 2 kids. They have a really sweet love that is palpable when you are around them. They perfectly compliment each other.

Right now she spends her moments sitting at his bedside, and only leaves to close her eyes and sleep on an uncomfortable pull-out/fold down chair thing a couple rooms away. She talks to him, dodges all the tubes and medical apparatus to kiss him, loves on him, plays music for him (he is a music man) and holds his hand for hours on end.

He has shown signs of improving. Will he come out of the state he is in? We don’t know. Will he return to the Scott we are used to? We don’t know that either. How long will it take? We all wish we knew that answer but we don’t know anything at this point.

What I do know, what I am sure of is that she will be ok. There are going to be moment to moment, hour to hour, and day to day ups and downs. She is the strongest and bravest that I know of. I will not be able to stand with her all the time during this process as I have obligations in my life I need to tend to, but I leave my heart with her when I am not there.

I am writing this blog from the rawest place in my being. My heart has been ripped out of my chest these past 2 days and i want to share this story because my family needs all the praying, meditating, affirmation-saying people we can get. I am sending out a request to all the troops to please help lift up my first best friend and her husband. They could really use your help right now. Peace.

10 000 FEET

“We have now reached an altitude of 10,000 feet and it is safe to use approved portable electronic devices.”

Hmmmm….10,000 feet. WAIT!!!! 10,000 feet!!!! That is how high the plane was I jumped just a few weeks ago!!! HOLY CATS!!!

I am in a window seat and I take a glance out of the plane and the feeling comes rushing back to me since my very last plane ride was on was the one I jumped out of. I have a slightly, what some would call “photographic memory” and the image I just experienced when looking out of this window was like my brain went to rewind mode and took me right back to that moment i jumped.

WOW! WOW! WOW! and WOAH!!!!!

I am absolutely floored and filled with adrenaline again. I can contain it because it is not appropriate to interrupt my neighbors as one is reading her book and the other is browsing through SkyMall magazine.

I am in absolute awe of flight every single time I get on a plane. I fly a lot and some would think that maybe I would become desensitized to how amazing it is…but I never do.

As we were sitting in line a few minutes ago, waiting for our time to take-off, I could see the plane that was taking off just ahead of us. There is a HUMUNGOUS metal tube, on a few itty-bitty wheels, with 2 wings, filled with people and luggage, and at a certain speed, it gets just the right amount of lift and takes off INTO THE AIR!!! Are you kidding me!?!?!!!!

I was a science major and physics was a big part of my curriculum so I understand conceptually how it all works, but I am still amazed. Those Wright Brothers were geniuses!! Not to mention the logistics that go into making air travel possible for the average Joe.

And do not even get me started with helicopters…

Since I was a little girl, I have always wanted to fly a helicopter. I remember one day when I was around 8 years old, I watched a helicopter land about 150 yards from where I was. I thought it was the coolest thing ever at the time. I don’t know if my desire to fly a helicopter came from that moment or some other time but I remember that clearly.

So about 6 weeks ago, I was on another amazing adventure that took me to Sedona, AZ. I didn’t have any place to stay and no plans so I stopped into a tourist center to get some information. As the kind woman was setting me up with a room for the night, I thumbed through “Red Rock Helicopter Tours” brochure. Wait…they only want that much for me to get on a HELICOPTER??? That’s it??? Those machines are so complex, I never thought it would be a reasonable price to get on one…and in Sedona, nonetheless.

When I arrived at the airport the next morning, the helicopter landed shortly thereafter and they proceeded to TAKE THE DOORS OFF!!! So now let me get this straight…I get to be in the front seat of that helicopter, with the doors off and FLY OVER SEDONA?!?!?! Seriously, this is an absolute dream come true!!

They get me situated in the seat and give me a headset. I think the company was smart for putting me in a headset because I had to consciously push a button in order to speak to anyone. I don’t even remember taking off because all that is going through my head was “THIS IS SO FREAKIN’ COOL!! THIS IS SO FREAKIN’ COOL!! THIS IS SO FREAKIN’ COOL!!”…and that would have been what would have been coming out my mouth too if people could hear me and we didn’t have to have a headset on.

In the 45 minute flight, I did press the button a couple times just to let the pilot know that I thought the experience was “SO FREAKIN’ COOL”. I think I cried during most of that flight, had tears of excitement and gratitude just simply because I was in that helicopter…it was that freakin’ cool to me.

It truly was. Even to this day, when I think about that flight, that experience, I well-up with tears.

I do not know exactly where my love and fascination for flight came from or where it will take me. I don’t know if I will pursue flying helicopters or not. I have thought about getting my sky-diving certification and purchasing gear. Though now I have done it and realize it is quite safe, I don’t think spending my weekends skydiving is exactly appropriate as a chiropractor, business owner, daughter, aunt, cousin (I am pretty sure one of my cousins will intercept my car on the drive there), and friend.

I do know one thing though, I will keep flying around, traveling and having some awesome experiences, and sharing them with you.

I think it is pretty freakin’ cool that just a few minutes ago, when the flight attendant said “10,000 feet”, it was like I was brand new in this life again. Though I am not new, I have a renewed excitement today that only something like getting way outside my comfort zone and skydiving can create. I know I will hear it often and it is really freakin’ cool that the phrase “10,000 feet” has such a profound new meaning to me and is an anchor I will use to life live even more fully.

FLYING

Every single time I am on a plane, I am amazed, thrilled and in awe of flight and flying. I have been on small Cessna planes in the past so going up in one was not a big deal for me this past Sunday…well until we left the ground and I knew I wasn’t going to be doing a usual “wheels down” kind of landing once I took off from the runway…and that is when the nerves kicked in.

I do not have a “bucket list” so to speak, however the concept of having a “bucket list” is so main-stream that as soon as I started telling people that I had signed up to jump out of a plane, that was the next phrase from their mouths, so I have just gone with it. I am fascinated by flight, flying and in this case, more like dropping.

The flight has been planned for over a month and as the time was drawing near, I could feel the intensity of my nerves increasing. I believe in LIVING this life FULLY and, as I have stated many times before, am always in the pursuit of RICH, REWARDING EXPERIENCES…that is how I ended up on that plane with a guy and a parachute strapped to my back.

There were a few other people getting ready to do their first jumps while I was there. I heard the woman working the desk tell one of the other nervous first-time jumpers “Those guys are skydiving (meaning the instructors), you are just going with them.” Very interesting perspective.

The instructors were amazing, especially the one I was jumping with. There was ample, clear instructions blended with just the right amount of comforting/encouragement/kick-you-in-the-pants dialogue going on.

When I am overwhelmed, my body goes into tears or hysterical laughter…on the plane ride up, I couldn’t hide my tears, he knew it and responded “You are going to make me feel bad if you are crying when I push you out of this plane.”

The plane slows down, the door pops open and I slide to the edge. We are facing the rear of the plane and the instructor puts his left leg out and foot on a step. Then it is my turn. I have to take both of my legs and swing them out and let them dangle while he finishes getting us ready. The plane is going 80mph at this point so the wind is enough to knock you right off (and if you watch the video link below, you can see me mouth expletives at that point).

He signals and I lean back into him, he wraps me up and out we go. It is nothing less than sheer terror sitting with my legs dangling outside the plane. The terror is because I have a decision to make, jump or don’t jump. Once the decision is made and we are out of the plane, it is easy. There is no turning back at that point. The only option is to let go, seriously, you can do nothing else.

As we are plummeting toward the Earth going 120mph, there are a few thoughts going through my head, however nothing is registering because ultimately nothing really matters at that moment. It is a moment that I have completely given up and given over trust to my instructor. Total trust…total faith…and mind you, he is a complete stranger to me. I think of all the reasons to be fearful of skydiving, becoming completely vulnerable to a stranger, and putting your life in their hands, is the scariest part. Somehow, he was able to take an incredible video, 400+ pictures and keep us safe all at the same time. That is some serious talent!!!

I am so glad I purchased the video and picture package: grateful for the video for very obvious reasons as seen below, but grateful for the pictures due to how much raw emotion is shown in my face…and then add in a 120mph wind and the face does some pretty funny things.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDi7nW_l_Pw[/youtube]

Since the jump, so many people have asked me if I will do it again. There are quite a few people in my life that will be less than thrilled if I do go, but if the time is right and the opportunity presents itself, I am all for it.

Getting outside our comfort zone is really where all the magic happens in life. Getting WAY OUTSIDE that comfort zone allows some true shifts to occur that will forever change us as individuals. I was terrified in that moment of sitting on the edge and dangling my feet. Because I made the next move, assisted by Josh, I am changed forever…in a good way.

The experience was such an amazing life lesson of trust, faith, vulnerability and letting go.

The question has come up a lot of “Did your stomach drop when you were in free fall?” It is so interesting because the plane is already going 80mph when I am hanging out of it. Then we drop at a speed of 120mph and there isn’t much of an actual feeling in the stomach…it truly felt like I was flying. I was heading downwards, but I could only really tell that due to me seeing the ground getting closer, there wasn’t a dropping sensation at all. And of course, once the parachute is out, it is just peaceful soaring the rest of the way to the ground.

My challenge for you…before the end of the year, check something off that bucket list of yours or at least set some plans in place to accomplish something in it next year. At the very least, step outside your comfort zone somewhere in your life. It is hard to predict what will happen, however dropping into it and letting go may very well turn into flying.

MOVING MEDITATION

In the snowy months, I spend a lot of time on my snowboard. People often ask me why I like snowboarding so much and I respond to them, “It’s a moving mediation.” “Meditation?!?!?! Snowboarding seems like anything but meditative…seems so stressful!” they say.

If you have ever been on a snowboard, you will realize within just a few minutes that you need to be paying 100% of your attention to what you are doing…otherwise you will get in trouble quickly. It is a continuous process of looking about 10-15 feet ahead, choosing your line and executing. And for as long as you want to snowboard in a day, or over a number of days, it is the same thing…look ahead, choose a line and execute.

In that particular sequence of actions, there is absolutely no room for thoughts like “what’s for dinner?”, “I wonder what so-and-so thinks about me?”, “I can’t believe so-and-so said/did that at work yesterday.”, “When will those kids ever learn?”, “I wonder if the washing machine repair man is at the house yet or not.” It is one of the most “present-time” awareness activities that I experience in life, besides my work as a chiropractor when I am adjusting people, and taking a yoga class. It is truly a moving meditation.

I recently found the same thing happening on a mountain bike…and I AM THRILLED!!!! For years I have been a “Roadie‘ they call it in the cycling world…I ride a road bike, long distances on paved roads. For years, I have had friends try to convince me to get a mountain bike and check out that scene. For years, I would say things like “Trees are unforgiving.” or “Do you realize how important my body parts are to my work?” due to my (incorrect) assumption that every mountain biker hits trees on a regular basis.

Then recently I realized how many miles of dirt roads surround my home and how much biking I was missing out on because of only owning a road bike. So I succumbed to peer pressure and bought a mountain bike from Cyclefit (by the way, those guys are super helpful when you are ready to purchase your next set of wheels) to ride on dirt roads.

Then I succumbed to peer pressure again and hit the actual mountain bike trails, or “single track” in biking world lingo, for the first time last week.

Just a few minutes into the ride, I found myself doing that look 10-15 feet ahead, choose a line and execute thing that I do on my snowboard and living in 100% present-time consciousness. Little did I know, an hour and a half blew by like 10 minutes. I was climbing hills, dodging trees, flying through mud puddles, over bridges, over roots, cruising through sand pits. IT WAS A BLAST!!! …and when the ride was over, I couldn’t wait to go out and do it again.

With the madness of life and the crazy speed that the days/weeks/months/years fly by, my brain craves 100% present consciousness time more and more everyday…so naturally at this point that craving goes to mountain biking, which if one needs to have a “craving”, mountain biking is a good thing to choose. It is also adding one more thing to my list of activities to enjoy doing during this lifetime.

I may end up staying on that same trail for the rest of the summer. I do not plan on branching out much and risking anything and both times I have been there, although I know some of the elements and the technical areas of the trail, it seems like a whole new experience to me every time. Being in present-time moving meditation mode, allows life to always seem new and that is super exciting in and of itself. Happy pedaling!!!

THE WALL

What came to mind when you saw the name of this blog post, “The Wall”? A WALL of your room? Pink Floyd? The Great WALL of China? The WALL endurance runners hit? The Vietnam Veterans Memorial WALL? The Berlin WALL? Hitting a WALL in a relationship? Do you WALL off your heart to protect it from the world? Do you put up a WALL and block out new ideas? Maybe an idea is off the WALL?

There are many places in life where we may encounter a WALL, in fact if you look around you right now, I would bet there may be a WALL (or 4) somewhere close to you.

After my trip to Belize, I have an entirely new concept of a WALL. The island of Long Caye, where I spent my week, is situated about 100 yards from a tectonic plate. Tectonic plates are location on the Earth where there is large-scale shifts in the surface of the land. Many plates are underwater and create drop-offs, or cliffs, in the ocean floor.

At this particular location there is a 3,000 foot WALL (or cliff) due to the tectonic plate activity. There is a diving camp, Off the Wall Dive Center, that shares the island with Slickrock Adventures (the group I was with), and though I do not SCUBA due to my heart condition, there is world class diving within just a 5 minute boat ride from the island along this WALL. During the week, the dive center staff would come over and share information about their dive trips and offer us a chance to dive if certified. Hearing about “THE WALL” all week, I was beyond intrigued to have a chance to check it out.

On Thursday, I finally got my chance.

During lunch, our trip leader offered a “swim snorkel” trip around the island to those who consider themselves “good swimmers”. We were signing up for roughly a 2 hour swim experience so it was not a small commitment when you said “ok” to this option for the afternoon.

We got in the water around 2pm, swim suit, rash guard, neoprene shirt for warmth since we would be in the water for an extended period, booties, sun screen, snorkel and fins. The beginning of the journey took us over huge swells and through rough water as we freed ourselves from the protection of the island. I had my face down in the water most of the time watching the fan corral at the bottom as it swayed to the rhythm of the waves and current…absolutely beautiful.

We got through the rough water and things began to soften up on the surface as the ocean floor opened up to an expansive stretch of sand flats. The view was breathtaking and reminded me of the most beautiful snowy mountainside with slopes of fresh powder. The sand flats were sprinkled with sand dollars as we swam over from about 40 feet above. I did a little bit of free diving however there was so much beauty from the surface that it wasn’t really necessary to take a closer look.

As we continued on our swim there was a drastic change in the ocean floor from sand, to corral for about 10 yards, to the deepest, darkest navy blue abyss. With the beautiful colors, the textures of all the corrals, wildlife present and the deep blue nothing that goes on forever…it was hands down, the most magnificent thing I have ever seen in my life.

Something happens to me when I put my head into the water to swim; in the ocean, lake or even in the pool. There is a silence that is so peaceful and comforting underwater. When I arrived on the island a few days before, we immediately went on our first adventure. I put my mask and snorkel on and stuck my head underwater and instantly went into a trance. Our snorkel trips were always guided by a staff member. During the first trip, there were many moments when I was wandering off from the group, unknowingly until I raised my head up and could hear them calling to me from a distance. The beauty was breathtaking and I was in my own little world.

In the shallow water I was awe-struck…so swimming above this cliff was real treat. The experience was so overwhelming that I was brought to tears and had to take a moment with my head above water to re-gain composure. The rest of the group of 5 continued to swim along as usual.

I am not sure why such strong emotions came up for me. It could have been because the week was so amazing, my heart was so open and I was able to play and be free like a child. It could have been because of the physical energy of the Earth at that location takes a major shift and quite possibly I could feel that in some way at that moment. It could have been the sheer beautiful of the scene in front of me. I could have been so many things…it was one of those moments that I had such pure, raw gratitude for my amazing life that my body’s expression was tears. Whatever it was that bubbled up for me in that moment, there really are not words that can express it fully. What I am certain about is that was an experience I will remember for the rest of my life and it will forever expand my concept of what a “WALL” is for me.

I face many WALLS as I journey through my life…because I push myself physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally on a regular basis to find my limits, to find where my WALLS are. From time to time, the WALLS that I hit seem insurmountable and may be an indication that I need to back up and reconsider my course. Sometimes a WALL gives me good reason to turn around. Sometimes its presence inspires me to find a way to get up and over it. Sometimes it means that I need to figure out the first step to disassembling it…and other times I just need to sit back and enjoy the view as I soar high above it.

I hope I have done this WALL some justice describing it to you through the written word. If not, I have an even better idea…plan a trip to go and witness it for yourself! We only get one chance at this life…do not let your “WALLS” hold you back!

THANK YOU

I need to say THANK YOU to all of you. I have made one HUGE transition since the beginning of this year and it is making a world of difference. I finally changed our afternoon hours at the Cafe of LIFE!

Over the past few months, we had numerous requests for our

afternoon hours to begin at 3pm instead of 3:30pm. In combination with that, we were finding that our 6-6:30pm time slot has been quiet and since the time change this past fall, it really felt like we were working super late into the night with how dark it is. So after a couple years of deliberation (this one I have been considering for quite some time) we have made the switch.

And I AM THRILLED!!! I have spent the past 8 years serving others and at times, have made sacrifices in my own life in order to do so. Getting out at 6:30 Monday through Thursday would limit me. Seems so many events, classes, concerts and such that I wanted to attend would start at 7 and be close to an hour away from Fenton (everything seems an hour away from Fenton for some reason). I would have to decline offer after offer over the years. There were classes at the gym that I never could make due to my schedule. Leaving at 6:30 meant that I could pretty much do one thing and then the night would be over and its time for bed.

Some of you may be thinking…its a mere 30 minutes she is talking about here. What is the big deal?

There is a lot that can be done in 30 minutes…a good cardio workout, make a delicious dinner, drive half way to Detroit, drive half way to the Wharton Center, have a meaningful conversation, make a phone call to catch up with a friend, run a 5K, bike one loop around Kensington, drive to Pine Knob Amphitheater, eat dinner at a restaurant, have a glass of wine, drink a glass of champagne, make a few runs on my snowboard at Mt. Holly, sleep…there is a LOT one can do in 30 minutes!

Then multiply that by 4 (days a week that I get out a half hour early) and then multiply that by 50 weeks of work in a year and that turns into 6,000 extra minutes in the evening per year…and there is a WHOLE LOT one can do in 6,000 minutes!!! You get my point. And it is 6,000 minutes more for me and 6,000 minutes more for Angie who, mind you, has a little one to tend to in the evenings.

So I am saying THANK YOU because i haven’t heard one negative comment about us shifting our hours. Thank you for being so understanding. Thank you for allowing me to take back a little portion of my life. Over the past 6 working days, I have had tremendous guilt for leaving a half hour early but I recognize that is all self manifested guilt and that not one person is making me feel that way besides myself. It may take me the next 8 years before I am used to leaving at 6…but I am looking forward to making the most of those 48,000 extra minutes while I am doing it. Thank you!

JOURNAL ENTRY 4/5/11

I have looked back at this journal entry a few times and I want to put it up here because I think that it may speak to a few of you and I want to share it. In yoga, we talk so much about coming to our “edge” on a physical level and how that physical “edge” can be a metaphor for other layers of our being. This was part of that particular lesson.

“4/5/11
I found myself at three interesting “edges” today. The first has to do with the cleanse and I’m still trying to figure out where these messages of “let’s be done now” are coming from because I know my body is being physically nourished well. The second has to do with the commitment to this process of Yoga Teacher Training with my favorite party of the year this Friday…Tiger’s Opening Day ( I am not a die-hard baseball fan, but I am a HUGE Opening Day fan). I was even offered 2 sets of tickets to the game and everything.

The last edge is really personal, but being at that edge I have 2 options…#1 I can back up and go the other way, or #2 I could jump and grow wings after my feet leave the ground. This particular edge is familiar and I have been here before. Last time I went the other way. I’m deciding which to choose this time and wondering even why this is presenting itself again…but it is, and when I flip a coin and make the agreement with myself that I will do what the coin says and it turns up the side of “jump”…I run through the scenario in my head and there is a incredible heart-opening joy and peace involved.

The “edge” takes on many shapes and forms and keeps showing up in many different areas in life. It is dynamic and personal and teaches us about what it is like to be us in that particular moment, at that particular time. The best thing we can do is brush up against it so we know where it is, and see if we can connect with something inside that gives us the strength and courage to push through those limits. This is how we grow and evolve.”

Namaste