From the outside it appears that all is peachy and so simple.
It’s not.
It’s hard, anxiety-driven work to pursue a dream.
It’s long, late night conversations and countless sleepless nights.
It’s questions without answers and conflict without immediate or foreseeable resolution.
It’s stress beyond anything I have ever known.
It’s wildly uncomfortable and feels like running around constantly short on time.
It’s humbling and frightening.
It’s not just out of my comfort zone, it’s as though I took a rocket ship and split from the Universe my comfort zone is in.
It’s so far off the edge and hoping the ground appears somewhere beneath my foot as I take the next step.
It is tears of frustration and moments when I cannot stand being inside my own skin.
It is giving up beach towels and sunglasses for hammers and drills.
It is a deep breath in not knowing when i will have space to exhale.
…AND it’s not just business, it’s every aspect of life.
It’s building a home that’s gone on far, far too long.
It’s learning to partner inside of a relationship rather than run off on my own and do it all my own way.
It’s learning what being a bonus mom is all about and to triplets nonetheless.
It’s wedding planning and all that comes with that (which i am currently trying to figure out).
It’s a constant battle with my subconscious that wants everything to stay the way it’s always been.
It’s tough and messy and faith-building.
It is somehow trusting that stupid phrase “You will only be given as much as you can handle.” Everyone please STOP SAYING THAT!!!!
It’s being sure to meditate every day and pray every night.
…and all this I am writing because I got a great hot shower and did my hair and now I’m dreading walking outside into the humidity which will undo it all in 17 minutes flat. …and so this is me procrastinating and writing to you instead of that.
And now I’ve come to the end of this rant.
Regardless of all that I wrote above, I’m going to make it the best day I can anyway.
Building dreams comes with a lot of hard work and not all of it is peachy.