engaged – We Only Get One Chance

LAUGHTER

Laughter helps everything.

There has been a lot going on in life lately, all of it really good stuff but keeping laughter at the forefront of it all helps everything!

For Memorial Day weekend, Mike and I headed up north to be with my family. On Saturday we decided to kayak/canoe/float the Betsie River which runs right by my parent’s house. It was a beautiful day, quite warm for late May in Northern Michigan and it felt great to get out on the river. I always forget how relaxing and healing a nice float down the river is until I am on it.

Mike insisted that I just relax in the front of the tandem kayak and not paddle and that he had it all handled. I trusted him completely and he gave me very little reason not to…at least for the first part of the trip.

We had rented a sit-on-top kayak from Crystal Adventures. The adventure company owners advised that we bring one of their dry sacks with us on the boat and I said “It is nearly impossible to tip one of those things over but we will for sure take one.”

Famous. Last. Words.

Mike did and incredible job (THANKS BABE!!!) at navigating the river until one tricky part. I was so used to sitting back and taking in the scenery that I did not see it coming and I don’t think he did either. A big tree branch was down in the water and in very slow motion, I remember being in total disbelief it was even happening, the kayak got stuck, the current was super strong and tipped us right over. I grabbed the stuff that I could and the rest headed down the river to be retrieved by other family members. We were both soaked in clothes not necessarily planned for dunking in the river but laughing. I am not sure what else there was to do but laugh. Mike felt bad but was also sort of bruised up. I had some scratches and bruises and we just laughed and went on our merry way.

Around the bend, my brothers were whispering to each other “That must really be the right guy for her if she was that calm, cool, collected and both of them were just laughing.” They were pretty shocked at our response to the whole thing.

All the weekends, and weeks for that matter, are spent managing things, handling projects and making things happen. This past weekend was no exception as we framed and wired an entire basement at one of my rental properties. It is a rather large space and a lot of work. We finished the project around 10pm on Sunday and were wrapping everything up, finishing laundry and loading the dishwasher. We sat down in the living room for a few minutes and as we were heading up to bed, Mike put a couple things in the sink. As he stepped up to the sink, something felt strange. Looking down was the view in the picture below!

You see, neither of us has had a dishwasher in our lives for over a year. I am not sure how he did it but mistook liquid dish soap for dishwasher soap and the kitchen was filling up with bubbles. I just start laughing. First off, we are old enough and know better, or at least I thought we did. But secondly, we have both missed having dishwashers in our homes so much it has been something we have looked so forward to!

Here he is standing in ankle deep suds from putting the wrong cleaning product into the dishwasher and bubbles and spewing out the sides and continue to flow. I am laughing so hard at this point that I think I am actually making him a little irritated. Through laughter “BABE!!!! How on Earth did you do this???” both on hands and knees cleaning up the floor. (Side note: our kitchen floor is extra shiny and nice now!!)

We pretty much laughed ourselves to sleep that night.

Laughter helps everything!!! Truly lightens the mood, shifts the tone and make it all better. Mike and I do a lot of laughing together all the time, life is just too short to be any other way.

Look around in your life. Are there areas you can laugh more? Are there things you can laugh about instead of get angry or irritated with? How can you choose laughter more through your days? We only get one chance in this life!!! Let’s have some FUN!!!!

ENGAGEMENT PHOTOS

From the beginning of our time spent together, the one thing that I told Mike is that I didn’t want normal engagement photos taken. I didn’t want to take time out of our busy schedule to prepare our wardrobe and have an “engagement photo” session.

Some people have asked “What? What did you want then?”

Right from the start I had asked Mike to “just be sure there is a photographer standing by close for when the engagement happens and we can have some candid photos taken on the spot.”

Of course for a woman, this makes a lot of sense. For a man, this can be a difficult situation to maneuver. Poor Mike got stuck in the middle of it…and though there was a photographer right there for the actual engagement, the photos are not what I was thinking, not because of the photographer though, he was great. For many other reasons…let me explain.

You see, the proposal was a total surprise. I did know he was going to ask me to marry him but I didn’t know when or where or how.

I remember along the way we had been talking that he was going to go in and get his haircut just prior to the engagement…but WHAT ABOUT MY HAIR!?!?!?! My hair appointment was schedule for 4 days after the day he proposed.

I asked him to be sure that when he is going to do it that I at least know enough to wear an outfit that I would want photos taken in. To make a super long story short, it happened at a western themed winter party. Not ideal as western wear is not my normal. Now mind you, Mike and I get dressed up every single week and go out on a date night. We make a deliberate effort to change out of our ordinary work or day clothes and get a little bit fancy and go out for the evening for dinner and dancing.

I don’t know (as I shrug my shoulders) maybe one of those nights would have been a good option???

Our lives are filled with work, personal and family obligations and it isn’t the easiest thing to carve time out for a photo shoot and I was a little bit annoyed that it had to happen this way…that is until I got the pictures back.

The day was fun-filled touring all around Frankenmuth, Michigan, hugging and kissing and getting our pictures taken. We have a second home right downtown Frankenmuth and we have many sweet little place that we scoped out for great backdrop to our hugs and kisses.

I will be quiet for now and let you scroll through some of the other engagement photos…

UNKNOWN

Today I found the unknown staring me in the face.

The unknown is intimidating, very, very intimidating.

As most of you read in my last blog post, I GOT ENGAGED!!!! I am absolutely OVER THE MOON EXCITED, blessed and honored that this man has asked me to be his wife.

…and I have a GORGEOUS RING!!!

Newly engaged, it is hard to turn my eyes away from the ring. I had the chance to pick it out in the beginning of December but to actually wear it is a whole new experience.

As many of you know, I was married at 19 for 7 years. At one point someone said to me “Oh, you have had your ‘starter marriage’.” “STARTER MARRIAGE”??????? Um, sure??? I am not a fan of that concept, I understand the idea of a “starter home” by not a “starter marriage”.

Since then I have dated for 14 years and had some long term relationships, however even during all that time, the voice in my head would chime in and say “How do people actually get to the place of committing to marriage anyway?” I couldn’t make sense of it at the time. Now In retrospect, it is simple to see that internal voice was just making sure I would eventually find the right one and I get it now.

I look down at this ring and it says “commitment” to me in the most beautiful way. But staring right back at me is this huge UNKNOWN.

There are so many unknowns…things that have been on my radar but also things that I/we haven’t thought through completely.

It is scary to look down and know that I have literally committed to the unknown with Mike. The longer I linger in thoughts of the unknown, the more nauseated I get. It’s pure worry and I am sure there may be some place in your life that you can relate to that feeling.

When I snap out of that I think to myself “This unknown is WITH MIKE, my Mike.”

“We’ll figure it out” has rolled off our tongues so much to each other throughout our courtship. It is accompanied by this incredible I’ve-got-your-back energy, confidence, respect and honor and is followed by actually figuring things out together.

It is the most beautiful thing I have ever been involved in, the most innocent and precious connection.

We have not had a simple and easy road so far. We have been together for just over nine months but we have already scaled some walls and traversed some valleys that stood in our way. Something that is working in our favor is our age. I think when I was involved in my marriage at such an early age, as was Mike was as well, it is difficult to know who you are and what you want life to really look like. Also there is so much growth and evolution that happens through the 20s, it is simple to get set up in relationship patterns that will not go the distance.

We have both been there and have learned a lot along the way. The lessons have been interesting and some so painful it was often difficult to see any light. Neither of us fantasize about how easy marriage will be, but we do remain hopeful that things can remain simple.

What I have learned through 14 years of dating is that core values are the most important key to finding a partner. Deep core values NEED to line up. I have dated enough to know a little bit about connection and what questions to ask right from the start. When I was younger, it was difficult to ask the heavy hitting questions and that landed me in relationships that couldn’t endure he long haul.

So Mike and I had a lot of hard discussions right up front and vetted out some of the serious topics to be sure we lined up. Of course there will always be that work to do.

The other thing that has really built our foundation we bring up absolutely anything and everything that is on our minds, no matter what it is. Because of this we have been able to get to the roots of our personal challenges and have the hard talks about life and what we are looking for.

He is my safe place, my home and has been from the very beginning.

Together we will walk hand in hand into the unknown. From the outside this may look and sound like a match made in heaven with all rainbows and butterflies and unicorns. There are many obstacles, I will reveal more as time goes by, big obstacles that we have overcome already and some yet to be uncovered.

Jumping off the cliff into the unknown seems do-able with Mike. Father Time will be the great determiner and until then I will embrace the work, lean into the discomfort, have faith and put one foot in front of the other.

As I am writing this, I am curious to know more about you. I am curious if you have found yourself staring into the face of the unknown as well as maybe a hint or two about how you stepped in anyway. How did you do that? What did you bank on? Where was your courage sourced from? I think we can learn a lot from each other’s experiences. Leave your comments for me…