healing – Page 4 – We Only Get One Chance

THAT’S INCREDIBLE!

The most incredible thing is happening today and I am positive by the end of this post, you will be saying “THAT’S INCREDIBLE!” too!

Many of you remember the post I made about My First Best Friend back in April. My cousin, Danielle, who also happens to be my very first best friend in my life, her husband had a sudden brain bleed. At the moment it happened, it was beyond belief, “things like that don’t happen to people I know” was my initial thought.

But it really did happen and it has changed the course of their lives forever.

You may have remembered a couple months after that initial post, I wanted to give you an update of their status, and posted A Smile.

Today, this morning, 6 months and 2 weeks to the day…Scott is coming home. THAT’S INCREDIBLE!!!!

They have transferred to many different places and for the past few months have been over in Grand Rapids, a little too far for me to travel regularly to visit with them. I have done what I could to let her know I am here with her every step of the way, and mostly through text message. Although text seems impersonal at times, I know their days are filled with therapies and when she was not there with him, she was driving back home to Durand daily to take care of her home and her boys.

Here is a little snippet of the past 6 months between her and I.

Me: “Sending you love. How are you guys doing?”
Danielle: “I am hanging in there. It has been tough but I know he is going to come through this.”

Danielle: “He started moving his hands and playing with my wedding ring today!”
Me: “Awesome! THAT’S INCREDIBLE!!”

Danielle: “He is blinking his eyes and seems to be able to focus on things.”
Me: “Good. I am so relieved. THAT’S TRULY INCREDIBLE!”

Danielle: “I finally got him to smile. It was the most wonderful thing I have ever seen…”
Me: “Wow! That is totally awesome!!”

Danielle: “He mouthed ‘I love you’ to me when I left today.”
Me: “Oh my goodness! THAT’S INCREDIBLE!”

Danielle: “He was able to speak some words out loud today.”
Me: “Wow! THAT’S INCREDIBLE!”

Danielle: “His memory is good and improving every day.”
Me: “That guy is amazing! THAT’S SO INCREDIBLE!!”

Danielle: “He held an instrument and started to play some chords today.”
Me: “THAT”S FREAKIN’ INCREDIBLE!”

Danielle: “He was able to eat solid foods today.”
Me: “THAT’S INCREDIBLE!”

Danielle: “We got to go on a drive today.”
Me: “I bet that was amazing. So INCREDIBLE!”

Danielle: “He is being accepted to a program that only takes success cases. They expect complete recovery.”
Me: “OH MY GOODNESS!!! THAT”S INCREDIBLE!”

Danielle: “He stood up today. I almost forgot how tall he is.”
Me: “THAT”S INCREDIBLE.”

Danielle: “He is walking with a walker today.”
Me: “THAT”S INCREDIBLE!”

Danielle: “He is walking on his own with minor assistance.”
Me: “UNBELIEVABLE!!! THAT”S INCREDIBLE.”

Danielle: “We got a release date for him to finally come home!!!”
Me: “Holy cow!!! That guy is AMAZING!!! THAT”S INCREDIBLE!!!!”

When I would respond to all of these things that he was able to gain back after losing everything, my usual response truly was, “THAT’S INCREDIBLE!” because it was and is. She would always reply back to me with “Yes, he is truly remarkable.” or “Yes, he is just incredible.”

Every bit of the recovery he has made has been incredible. When doctors change their tone from “he is not going to make it” one day, to “Wow! We didn’t expect that to happen!” and “He is not doing what we normally expect in this situation.” the very next day…it was incredible.

It is not over, their journey is still going to be long and winding and there is a lot of work to do. He has come so far but please keep praying and sending healing thoughts towards them. She is an angel and deserves a lot of credit. I have never seen anyone love so much, push so hard, encourage so much, learn so much, fight for someone, support so gracefully, get so involved and be so strong. She has a gift. She is a gift. He is a gift. And the love that exists between those two is a gift to this world. It truly is incredible!

A SMILE

Never underestimate the power of a smile.

Did you wake up smiling today? Have you smiled yet? Why? How many times? At who? In what setting?

I am realizing as time ticks by, and the wrinkles start to set into my face, the most noticeable ones are my smile lines and I am pretty alright with that.

“A smile is the shortest distance between two people.”

Fenton Chiropractor Smile — Scott and Danielle 2012

A smile stands for connection, joy, hope, happiness, love, compassion, peace and understanding. However, it can also portray nervousness, anxiety and uncertainty. The default expression that crosses my face for any and all of the above is a smile, hence by deep smile lines, often accompanied by giggles or uncontrollable laughter. That is just my style.

I see a lot of pregnant mothers in my chiropractic practice and I get to watch as they spend their first weeks together with their new babies. I think the first time the baby smiles is one of a new parent’s proudest moments. But once they start doing it, they usually do a lot of smiling. That is what we do as humans and it gets to a point that the initial excitement wears off a bit and smiles become a normal part of life, we begin to take that expression for granted.

The last blog post I wrote was about My First Best Friend and how my cousin’s husband suffered a brain bleed and we almost lost him. I shared a bit of their story and I wanted to do a quick update so that you know that he is alive and slowly recovering.

His recovery is being facilitated by his beautiful wife and today marks their 3rd wedding anniversary. They will spend the day in the hospital, as all the days of the past 6 weeks have been spent there. He is nowhere ready to move or be transported yet…and so he is there in his bed and sometimes in a chair…and she sits. She spends endless hours talking to him, encouraging him, doing small movement exercises with him, cheering him on as he responds to commands and just loving him. It is the essence of true love and is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.

My life does not allow me to visit daily but I keep in touch and let her know I am supporting from a distance. Yesterday I got the following message from her:

“I finally got him to smile. It was the most wonderful thing I have ever seen…”

This message made me realize how much we take smiles from our loved ones for granted. We walk on by and maybe smile back, maybe even hold back a smile out of resentment or disdain. I never realized how important a smile was until that message yesterday.

There are so many hours of silence in that hospital room. In 6 weeks time, there are only so many one-sided conversations to be had, but that doesn’t stop her. She plays music for him and reads to him while he wakes up a bit and falls back to sleep.

Many people have sent cards, well-wishes and inspiration and one wall has a small collection that they review on a regular basis. It is one of the things that really stimulates him so I would like to make a simple request. If you are reading this, please take a blank piece of paper and write them a little encouragement and put it in an envelope and send it in the mail to:

Danielle and Scott Hawkins
C/O Cafe of LIFE Chiropractic
521 N. Leroy St.
Fenton, MI 48430

For the cost of a stamp (of course greeting cards are always welcome as well), we can hopefully collectively encourage these smiles and healing moments inside of him.

As I wrote in my Facebook status last week, to most of you, Danielle and Scott are perfect strangers. I promise, promise, promise that if you knew them, you would love them too.

Please send a smile to them, a little encouragement, a little love…and then spend a little more time in your smile mode today and in the future. The great thing about smiles is you will never run out. Spread them around!!! We only get one chance…

MY FIRST BEST FRIEND

I had no idea when I was born, that my first best friend was already here waiting for me.

My cousin, Danielle, is 6 weeks older than i am and we pretty much grew up attached at the hip any chance we got. Neither of us had sisters so we became that to each other.

My house was right next door to my grandparent’s home and so every time she visited them, which was quite often, I got to see her. We did everything together, from barbies to cabbage patch kids, from building sand castles to playing in tree forts, from blazing trails through the woods and carving trees to making

Fenton Chiropractor Best Friend up stories as we spent hours out playing in the apple orchard.

We talked about our hopes and dreams and made plans for our lives. I was always so jealous she got to go to Girl Scout Camp every summer…but she made up for it by teaching me all the songs she learned when she returned. In fact, that radio in my head that plays music non-stop sometimes gets locked on that channel and as a 30-something…those songs stuck on repeat are more annoying than cool.

To this day, we make time for each other. She is one of my biggest cheerleaders, and although she doesn’t allow many to cheer for her, I am one of hers. There seems to be a length of time, that if we go past too many days without having time to sit down and catch up with each other, we both go a little crazy and make time in our schedules right away.

I sent her a text message on Friday morning about how excited I was about going to the Water Hill Music Festival in Ann Arbor next weekend, and although I knew it was still another week away, I was stoked to have some time to hang out. I had just seen her 5 days prior as her and her husband, Scott, along with a group of my nearest and dearest, spent the evening celebrating my birthday at my home.

On Friday, she didn’t respond back to that text message right away and after a few minutes she called. She doesn’t ever call, we don’t need to talk on the phone, we already know what each other is usually thinking so text and email are our norm.

Her voice was cracking. She was seriously shakin’ up. Then she proceeded to tell me that Scott, her husband, had a brain hemorrhage and is in the hospital and asked if I could come up. I had a couple obligations that day and headed up as soon as i could.

I have spent the past 2 days with my heart breaking right along side her, and I feel like these days are just the beginning of a long road. She is one of the strongest and bravest that i know. She has had her share, plus some, of adversity and challenge in her life. She keeps her head up through all of it. She plugs away and she always comes out on top. She is one incredible woman and I know those who really know her feel lucky.

Her and her husband have the most beautiful love story, reconnecting after so many years and blending their family, his 2 kids and her 2 kids. They have a really sweet love that is palpable when you are around them. They perfectly compliment each other.

Right now she spends her moments sitting at his bedside, and only leaves to close her eyes and sleep on an uncomfortable pull-out/fold down chair thing a couple rooms away. She talks to him, dodges all the tubes and medical apparatus to kiss him, loves on him, plays music for him (he is a music man) and holds his hand for hours on end.

He has shown signs of improving. Will he come out of the state he is in? We don’t know. Will he return to the Scott we are used to? We don’t know that either. How long will it take? We all wish we knew that answer but we don’t know anything at this point.

What I do know, what I am sure of is that she will be ok. There are going to be moment to moment, hour to hour, and day to day ups and downs. She is the strongest and bravest that I know of. I will not be able to stand with her all the time during this process as I have obligations in my life I need to tend to, but I leave my heart with her when I am not there.

I am writing this blog from the rawest place in my being. My heart has been ripped out of my chest these past 2 days and i want to share this story because my family needs all the praying, meditating, affirmation-saying people we can get. I am sending out a request to all the troops to please help lift up my first best friend and her husband. They could really use your help right now. Peace.

ADDICTION

I have uncovered an intense addiction I had no idea about.

Ten months ago, I began a new and different journey with my health. Many of the “healthy” things I was doing, especially where my diet was concerned, weren’t the most complete choices I could be making. Unbeknownst to me, I was chronically depleting my body of a few key nutrients that eventually led to disfunction of certain organ systems. Good news, it was all fixable and 70% of that has been taken care of by diet change and a tailored plan of supplementation.

There still remains a few nagging small concerns and 2 of them fall on the “autoimmune” spectrum.

I have been working closely with a nutritionist on this path and have come to the conclusion that going “gluten-free” was a necessity and so 10 weeks ago, I began my gluten-free journey.

I knew it was going to be a little challenging, however I have succeeded in completing harder tasks in my life, or at least that is what I thought when I got started.

Living in a small town is a challenge in and of itself due to the simple fact that there aren’t many resources. Fortunately for Fenton, there are 2 really great health food stores right in town and one of them tailors their entire store to the gluten-free popluation.

Day 1 of my new life was simple. I was highly aware of the shift I was making and so there was a lot on my mind, lets just say I was obsessing about food.

Day 2 started and ended pretty easily and the change appeared to be progressing smoothly.

Day 3…not so much. It turns out that I fall into a category of people that are “addicted” to gluten. When I sat back and watched what was coming up for me as well as discussions with my nutritionist, I became keenly aware that about every 3 days, I need a “gluten fix”. I needed something to spike my sugars and give me that endorphin kick.

So I pressed on and for the next 4-5 days, it was an hour by hour choice to not eat anything containing gluten. Of course, because I was so focused on getting over the hump with this process, all I could think about was eating gluten. As the days ticked by, I watched as my body’s cravings decreased little by little.

Three weeks into this process, a mourning phase set in. I remember driving home from the gym and passing by Uncle Ray’s Dairyland and becoming overwhelmingly sad because I was never going to be able to eat cookie dough ice cream ever again in my life. Do you know how much cookie dough ice cream I have eaten in the past decade? Maybe one serving. It is not something that I have on a regular basis, however in that moment, that was really sad to me.

Over the next couple weeks I came to terms with WHAT I EAT and WHAT I DO NO’T EAT and it is as simple as that. I stay strict and do not allow for little slip-ups. With gluten, and especially when dealing with gluten addiction, it is not something you can have “here and there” or “once in a while”. For me, I have to remain clean and clear of it altogether.

Today it has officially been 10 full weeks. When I first started, I thought it would be a bit challenging. In retrospect, I have to say it has been one of the hardest things I have done, but now that I am here on the other side, I am happy, healthier and will keep my life free and clear of gluten.

I have never dealt with an addiction before in my life and though this is to a mildly noxious substance, I have a bit more compassion to those who deal with addiction of any sort on a daily basis. It seems as I go through life, I am presented with lessons that do exactly that, build more compassion. I also believe that being compassionate is one of the keys to living a happy, healthy and well-rounded life…or at least I hope so. Thank you for this lesson, Universe!!

THE RULES OF IMPROVISATION

I recently finished a light-hearted book by Tina Fey called “Bossypants”. She is hilarious and her book was a nice break from the “heavy” reading I usually do. Tina really struck me with her section on “The Rules of Improvisation” and as I was reading one evening in the sauna, I thought how applicable these rules are to living an extraordinary life. I wanted to share.

RULE #1: AGREE. SAY “YES!” In improv, when someone starts off on a topic, the next person has to start by agreeing with them. If they say their fingers are a gun, the next person has to agree otherwise the scene is dead in the water. How often do you find yourself saying “no”, whether it be to an invitation, an idea or just finding yourself disagreeing with a concept and shutting everything down?

Just recently, I had an invite to situation that was completely unknown. If I would have tapped into my logical mind, I could have come up with loads of reasons why I shouldn’t go. A friend once said, “I am willing to try just about anything as long as it doesn’t end me in jail, I don’t end up with a permanent scar and it doesn’t hurt my credit score.” I have adopted this within reason and choose to say ‘YES” whenever I can and often find myself experiencing some really incredible things.

RULE #2: Say “YES and…” meaning agree and say “YES” first, but then offer something as a contribution. An example in improv that she uses is, “Man, it is hot in here!!!” “Well what did you expect it would be like inside a dog’s mouth?!?!” and then scene continues.

Get involved in making the plans in life. Get involved in the conversations you are having on a daily basis. What you have to contribute is worthwhile. Sometimes even if you disagree with what is presented, using the word “and” is a great transition to something that may open up the doors for all parties involved. “Yes, and….” feels very different and more inviting than “Yes, but…”

RULE #3: MAKE STATEMENTS. Questions are good in certain scenarios, however when you make bold, confident statements in life, things start shifting. “Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.”

“Everything in life is figureoutable” -Marie Forleo

Start offering options and ideas instead of allowing someone else to always lead the pack towards a solution. I absolutely love hanging out with some of my good friends and having brainstorming sessions. I have my fair share of challenges that come up in everyday life. I will present it to a couple friends and then the conversation is sparked allowing for all kinds of different solutions to surface and life takes a step forward.

RULE #4: THERE ARE NO MISTAKES – ONLY OPPORTUNITIES. In improv, if a scene starts one way but is interpreted another, it is an opportunity to go in a different direction and everyone involved needs to pick up the ball and start running.

Life is the same way. We can plan, forecast and predict what will happen in life, however we have all been thrown a curveball as soon as we think we have something figured out. For me, I do not know one thing that could describe life better than finding myself in “beautiful happy accidents” that have led me down some really great paths in directions I couldn’t have even fathomed. Along the course of my life, I have learned that I better quit pushing and I better start surrendering to the path I am on and letting go of where I think I should be. When I do more of that, life is easier.

The rules of improvisation are 4 very simple rules that, when put together, can lead to a seriously fun life! I want to challenge you to start every morning with a “Yes, and” attitude, contribute to what is happening around you, be part of the solution and trust that there really are no mistakes. Those “beautiful happy accidents” that Tina talks about are where the juice of life is!! Make the best of it…we only get one chance.

MESSAGE FROM YOUR CHIROPRACTOR

I have many people connect with me over email, facebook, text message, all kinds of media, all day long. Some of them come to the Cafe of LIFE for chiropractic care and some go other places. Some people have been connecting with me for years about coming in for care but have not been in yet. Some people write me from other cities and states and ask me for advice. This next message stems from something I wrote to someone who I do not get to adjust in my own practice…but I was moved in my heart by the struggle they posted on facebook. She lives a distance from me and doesn’t get to see me in my practice, but this is a message from your chiropractor.

“I see you are struggling with so much pain.

Let me say this, when you are in the middle of it and it is the first time you have ever experience pain like that before, it feels like your life is doomed. It is hard to see to the other side of any of it. It creates so much additional stress to the already stressful lives we lead. When you are then unable to pick up your children, and unable to workout, it makes it exponentially worse. It is so tough to deal with the day to day.

Please realize that pain is an incredible teacher. It tells us to slow down, stop or take a new path. It grabs our attention for a reason.

In saying that, the body is an incredible healer, much more powerful than anyone has every allowed you to believe. It can heal from almost anything. Truly it can and I see it every single day and bare witness to some super incredible stuff.

Right now, your body is in a splinting/protection mode so you don’t make it worse. It is stopping you in your tracks to slow you down for a reason. Let it do that.

Remember to breathe. Breathe deeply and often. Drink water and go for a walk. See your chiropractor, do your physical therapy exercises you were given and know you will recover.

Society has taught us that things should happen instantly. Healing doesn’t happen instantaneously on the subjective level but is happening. It is always happening and getting chiropractic care helps to maximize its potential to do that.

Breathe. Drink water. Get adjusted and walk. This too shall pass. Place some faith in your body’s incredible ability to heal. If you witnessed as much healing as I do on a regular basis, that would be easier for you to believe. Because you don’t get to see that, I am doing my best to express it in written word.

Fenton Chiropractor 5

Take it however you feel is right for you. Be well. Erica.”

This message rolled right off my fingertips in a couple of minutes and when I went back and read it, I thought everyone might benefit to hear this message. I truly, truly, and in every sense of the word, bare witness to MIRACLES, the body’s incredible innate ability to heal itself every single day I step foot into my office.

Old, young, infants, big, little, pregnant, disabled, happy, sad, all kinds of physical ailments, birth trauma, car accidents, injured from over-prescribed medications, vaccine injuries, people wanting to heal, people that feel well and want to stay that way, massive falls from many story buildings, broken bones, physical abuse, sports injuries, veterans…you name it, I have seen most of it in my 9 years of private practice. I have seen some really cool stuff that the body is capable of doing. We need to give it the right tools that allow it to do its greatest work. It takes time…nothing in this life doesn’t take time. We need patience. We need a good, healthy lifestyle. We need water. We need movement. We need rest. We need chiropractic care.

I just wanted to share with all of you a message from your chiropractor.

RIDING WAVES

I wrapped up 2013 on vacation with great friends in Costa Rica. As some of you know, Costa Rica has become a popular surfing destination and there are opportunities for riding waves all over.

If you have followed me at all, you also know that I am an avid snowboarder and one of my happiest places is strapped to my snowboard in Colorado.

While in Costa Rica, my Colorado friends and I took quite a few opportunities to surf. The ocean is really warm in that area so it is simple to throw a rash guard on, grab a board and paddle out.

I have done quite a bit of surfing over the years in Costa Rica, Ecuador, Belize, California and New Jersey. One of my greatest challenges of surfing is getting the board and myself safely out past the break. It is a game of finesse, timing and strength. When one is a little on the tall and lanky side and riding a 9 foot board, it can be quite challenging as sets roll in.

The particular beach that we surf at in this spot in Costa Rica, the water is soft, the waves are gentle and there is a beautiful rhythm to the ebb and flow. It also makes getting out past the break just a little bit easier.

While I am out waiting for the next wave, I am thinking about all the snow that is piling up at home. Though I am grateful beyond what words can describe to be sitting on that board in that moment, I also have a moment I am considering how much I am excited about getting on my snowboard when I get home.

The two sports are similar in some ways. They way you stand on the board is the same, though snowboarding you are strapped in. There is a meditative sense to both sports…in other words, you need to be present and in the moment or you can quickly find yourself in trouble. There is a sense of working with nature, snowboarding-snow conditions, surfing-the powerful ocean.

My dearest love for snowboarding stems from many reasons that I will not go into due to the length of the list. One of the key reasons I love it is because I get a chance to explore a mountain. There is a chance to check out this run over here, that run over there, this restaurant for breakfast, that one for lunch, this group of Aspen trees, that group of pine trees, this trail, that chairlift. You get the idea.

Surfing is different. It is paddle out, catch a wave, come back to where you started, paddle out, catch a wave, end up back where you started, paddle out, catch a wave…and it goes on. There isn’t necessarily an area of water you are covering and not one area of that water is ever the same.

…but for me I realize how much it is about internal exploration. It looks a little like this…This water is so beautiful. The view from my board is amazing. Its really awesome I have some good friends joining me. I see a set in the distance. I wonder if I am in the right spot. I can see that wave building. Is it going to be big enough to ride? Will it break right or left? it it going to be too big for me? Oh $#1t, here it comes! I am in the right spot? I need to turn around and paddle. Where is all that anxiety coming from? Will I catch this one? Will I get rocked by it?…and honestly, none of this internal dialogue and analysis is helpful.

The only thing that is helpful is learning which wave to catch and then letting go.

When mental resistance and fear come up and the mind shifts to and through all of that diologue, it is very difficult to go with the flow of the wave. If you have the skill set, then paddle when you know you should paddle, pop-up when you know you are on it and then simple ENJOY THE RIDE!!!

It is such a beautiful dance with such a powerful force. There is not one thing you can do to change the wave you are on. The only thing in that moment is to turn the mind off, get to that feeling place, relax, let go and trust. It is more of an internal exploration experience with a sense of adventure, thrill and flow.

Usually surf sessions last an hour to a few hours. This gives time to rest and regroup inside and find more and more peace, grace and flow.

When you snowboard, you have a little bit of say in what the snow is going to do underneath your board. When surfing, you have absolutely no say in what the ocean is going to do.

Surfing is about life and life is about riding the waves. We have a choice what wave choose to get on, we do not have a choice about where that wave is going. We have the ability to turn or get off that wave…but if we learn to trust ourselves, we transition into the flow of the powerful Universe gracefully.

(The following link is not my video but it is taken at the surf spot we spent most of our time so you can get a feel of the waves)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppfzD8MsDLE[/youtube]

I am grateful for my life and the opportunities to explore and go on many adventures. After this past visit to Costa Rica, the ebb and flow of life is forefront in my consciousness. There is an ebb and flow to the days, the nights, work, family, friends, driving, eating…absolutely all of it. The troughs make the peaks sweeter. The peaks make traveling back down to the troughs exhilarating. The most important part of all is finding internal peace so that wether at the top or the bottom while riding your waves, you remain graceful.

Peace to you as you start 2014.

A SHARE FROM MY PRACTICE

A share from my practice…

September 18, 2013

A 17 year old presented in my office 2 weeks ago with systemic pain…everything hurt. One day prior to her first visit with me, she was in the emergency room at an Ann Arbor hospital with a pain level of 45 on a scale from 1-10. Excruciating. She has had to use the handrails to pull herself up and down stairs lately and has not been able to have any normal 17 year old fun.

She had been dealing with this type of pain for the past year and her family had done everything for her. All medical tests were negative. Next step in the medical arena was muscle biopsies. She was 1 week away from going in for that.

This beautiful girl was put on acne medication in early 2012. Turns out as her parents did more research after not finding any answers to all the pain she was experiencing, systemic pain can be a “rare” side effect of that particular medication.

Her mother works with some other people who are under care here at the Café of LIFE and one of them said to her, “If anyone can help your daughter, Erica can.” I am flattered however I also know that I am just the messenger, chiropractic and the body’s Innate Intelligence is doing all the work, the only part I can take responsibility for is I have the education, skills and I set a very clear intention for her to return to perfect health.

They had no idea what chiropractic was about. The first visit to the Café of LIFE includes a lot of education about the nerve system and the power that heals the body works though this system, and if there is interference, called “subluxation”, it is going to be compromised. They were shocked to know that, grateful for the time I spent with them explaining that and STOKED to get started.

Today marks her 4^th adjustment. She is pain free for the first time in a year, she has had some 17 year old fun over the past few days and is in high hopes of joining her swim team for practices and meets in the next couple weeks.

The body has an incredible ability to heal. I am so lucky to be able to witness these miracles on a regular basis. I share this story with you so that you know a little bit more about what goes on here at the Café of LIFE. I also share this story so that you do not take medication prescribed by the MD with blind faith. Do your research.

Some many of the stories at my practice are worth sharing with the world. I don’t always take the time to write them all out. Thank you for taking the time to read and for letting me share.

A TINY HOME

I have a very tiny home that I go to about 4 days a week. It is about 2 feet by 6 feet and is easy to transport and move from place to place. This tiny home is my yoga mat.

As I enter the yoga room, I always find myself gravitating to the same location on the floor. In one yoga studio is is one particular location, in another studio it is another spot and the third is still quite a different spot. There is a feel to the location in the room and is all very much part of my process.

I usually arrive early, sometimes 30 minutes early, because I want to be in that same spot. It may be a location where just a class or 2 before, I found myself staring at a ceiling tile and bursting out laughing. It may be a spot that just the day before, I left a huge puddle of tears on the floor. It may be a place that a week prior I had such an awesome flow and was really linked in to whomever was practicing next to me…either way there is a reason, and I cannot always put my finger on the why of my choice in locations.

When I arrive at the perfect place for my tiny home, I line my mat up perfectly parallel to the planks of the wood floor, fold my hand towel in half and put it near the top of my mat and find the ideal un-kick-able spot for my water bottle.

As I am laying on my mat waiting for class to start, I spend a little time observing others as they walk in to find their “spot” to set up their tiny home for the next 60-75 minutes of their lives. It is interesting the process they go through.

Some walk in confidently, drop their mat, roll it out, set up their water, climb on and lay down to meditate.

Others set up their tiny home, lay down, get back up and move to the opposite side of the room with a “something about the mojo of that spot isn’t quite right” tone to their walk.

Still others will stand by the door and survey the scene to decide their plot before making a move and others will stand and have a discussion with their friends about perfect location for their tiny homes.

There is such a magic to all the happenings. People arrive at different times for different reasons but one by one we all stake our claim to a 2 feet by 6 feet plot of wood floor to set up our tiny home and by the time class is about to start…it is all in perfect order.

The floor of the yoga room is covered in brightly colored mats of all shades, big towels, little towels, water bottles of all shapes, sizes and colors, and beautiful bodies of all shapes, sizes and colors that have found a “tiny home”.

The dance begins. The music fills the room. The sweat pours onto the mats. There is reckless abandonment during the flow…a vulnerability that you would only find if you were inside your own home and no one was watching. The bodies turn and twist into all kinds of shapes and forms and the energy is indescribable.

The classes I attend are taught with such incredible intensity that it sometimes takes everything I have to keep breathing just to make it through the next movement. When I am physically working that hard, there is no time to play with other thoughts in my mind and it is a 60-75 minute moving meditation. The only goal ever set out by the instructor is to “keep breathing and stay on your mat”, in other words…”stay in your tiny home”.

At the end, everyone lays down on their backs and melts into the floor. All the hard work, the physical, mental and emotional garbage has a chance to settle out and be absorbed by the floor of the tiny homes we have set up for ourselves.

When all is said and done, we all roll up our tiny homes and head out into the world. It is the feeling that has filled the body at that very moment that gets us all to come back time and time again for years.

Our tiny homes find their usual spot in the back seat or trunk of our vehicles waiting for the next 2 feet by 6 feet plot of wood floor in another yoga room to stake claim of next time the chance arises.

The tiny home that I go to on a regular basis, though exposed to the elements of the room and surrounded by people within inches, is a profound place of peace for me. I hope you have a place like that for yourself somewhere in your life as well. Namaste.

HUNKER DOWN

This past weekend I spent hunkered down and studying. It was the perfect weekend to do just that and I was so grateful to have the time.

The holidays were crazy busy and the beginning of the year was the same. This past weekend fell into the perfect spot, and from this point forward, life will be busy again. I also found an appreciation for the “January thaw” that happened as there wasn’t even an option to snowboard and that took one more possible distraction off my list.

When I tell people that I hunkered down and studied this past weekend, I find them trying to figure out what in the heck am I studying at this point in my life?

I am studying me…and what makes me, me. Over the years I have found that the more light that shines onto our life, the darker the shadows get meaning when life gets really, really good, dim corners begin to take on a new level of darkness.

Some look at me and my life and automatically think that it must have always been this good. Not true.

Ad astra per aspera. — “to the stars through difficulties”

This statement is a great summery of LIFE. I have had some serious ups and downs that have shaped me to who I am today.

You may not know that I grew up in a home seriously challenged with alcoholism. To add to that, I grew up with 3 brothers and finding yourself on the short end of the 3 versus 1 game on a daily basis was just plain hard. I found refuge in escaping to my horse barn and spending hours braiding my horses’ manes and tails.

I was always a good student and did my very best to be absolutely perfect so as to not ruffle any feathers. I was, and still am, a massive overachiever because I have found that is the safest way to maneuver this life.

Did you know that I got married when I was 19? And that I was married for 7 years? I divorced when I was 26 years old and moved home to Fenton 2 years later after I finished chiropractic college. Because I divorced during school that required 35 hours a week of mandatory attendance, working part time, and taking test after test and national boards that are determining my next move in my career, there is not a lot of time to sit and process things. So when I moved home 2 years later, I fell into a depression. I was able to function but just barely for about 2 months. I had no idea what I was going to do, where I was going or how I was going to get there. The best I could do was to promise myself to get out of bed every single day and do something that furthered me down the path to opening a practice, even if that meant buying one pack of pens because that was all the motivation I could find that day…but all I really wanted to do was hide.

These are just a few of my own personal struggles…of course you know me well enough to know that I will not air it all on here but these are a fraction of the challenges and obstacles I have experienced. I also realize that these struggles may seem simple as compared to what you have been through in your lifetime. I have come to the conclusion that life is for living and learning.

Nothing in my life has been handed to me. I have worked very, very hard at creating what I have and I am often in tears of gratitude that I get to express myself in this life in the way I do.

For me, there is ALWAYS “excavating” that needs to be done. I do my best to not take life to seriously however from time to time it is right and necessary to get serious and start digging. In order to genuinely express myself in my life, I need to take time to look at the things that hold me back, the fears I have, the misconceptions and internal obstacles that stand in my way of living fully.

This past weekend I had set time aside to do just that. I belong to an amazing Book Club that helps me excavate on a regular basis, but I also need to pull some of the wounds open on my own, debride, apply some salve and let them remain open and uncovered as they heal.

So I hunkered down and did some of that last weekend so that I can show up in my world in the best way possible. In the technological age that we live in, it is so simple to keep ourselves so busy we never get time to just sit and think. We go and go and go, and when we have a moment to sit, we pick up our phones, iPads, laptops or turn on the TV and get some screen time in instead of taking time to be and sit and think. When was the last time you had a moment to think about things? I would like to challenge you to take a moment between all of your obligations, and instead of filling it with screen time, just think. Some quick “easy” questions to ask…Who am I? What is the meaning of my life? What is my purpose? Where did I come from? Where am I going? and How am I going to get there? You do not need to do serious excavating to begin to express more of the life you want…but taking time to sit and think would do us all a lot of good.